Just Venting - Chicago,IL

Updated on May 15, 2012
K.M. asks from Fayetteville, NC
11 answers

Ok so yesterday was great but today... I'm having a rough morning. 12 y/o son needed to get to band practice early and was hounding me from the moment that I got up that he needed to leave. Told him that if he wanted to hurry me up then he could help make breakfast and start on lunchs his reply was "that's not my job." DH took him fishing yesterday about an hr away and brought the car back with no gas I mean gas light on when I started it. And to top it all off the sim card in my phone wasn't working this morning so I had to spend 20 mins on hold with AT&T to get the to let me pick one up at the store... but they told me no becuase I wasn't on the account.... but they just let me get a new phone in store a month ago and its not even 8:30. If it gets worse I'm gonna go back to bed.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Yeah, like everyone else - I'm pretty stuck on "it's not my job". That would have been the end of me rushing around trying to get everyone out of the house right then and there. My 12 year old would have learned very fast that if he wanted something done, he could help. But seriously - does he have chores? Does he help around the house? Seems like it might be time to "up" his responsibilities so he understands how hard mom (and hopefully dad) work.

6 moms found this helpful

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

ha he'd have a list of "his jobs" when he got home if that was M..

Oh you're right it wasnt you job YET but now that you made M. realize you were lacking jobs, responsibility, and respect, here are YOUR JOBS=)
Go back to sleep! Have him do your work when he gets home=)

9 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Dover on

O....M....G....

I'm still stuck on the "it's not my job." I would have come unhinged. Really. I surely would set up a new chore chart and MAKE it his job for the next two weeks.

Sorry it's been a rough morning. I hate those. Find a way today to take some time just for you. I would do it this evening when everyone is home. If it were me, I would go to the Starbuck's with a book or to Barne's and Noble (where they have a Starbuck's) and buy a book and sit and drink a frap and read for an hour. Or go upstairs and take one of those baths where when the water gets cold you use your toe to turn it on and reheat it.

Give yourself a reward! You'll feel better just planning it.

7 moms found this helpful
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E.G.

answers from Boston on

Wow, sorry to hear all of that! How frustrating. I would have told my son "It's your job, if I tell you it's your job." I often get that line from my 14 yr old daughter and tell her just that. I would have chewed my husband out for leaving me without gas too!

6 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

The next time your 12 year old tells you "it's not my job", let him miss his activity, K.M. He needs a consequence for this. Letting a kid dictate to you what you will do for him will translate to him treating his wife like this one day.

When he gets home from school, have an unwanted chore waiting for him. Tell him why he has to do it and that next time he talks to you that way, he'll do double. And take away cherished privileges from him, like computer, cell phone, ipod if he refuses.

You have to nip this stuff in the bud, really, you do.

Make your husband handle the phone since his name is on it.

Hope the rest of your day is better!
Dawn

5 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Okay - the cell phone would have been the least of my worries.

If my son had told me "it's not my job" - I would've stopped dead in my tracks and told him "he'd better make it his job or it won't get done."

Thank God my husband isn't rude like that and gives me a car that is on empty. I think I would have some choice words for my husband for that one.

We do our lunches, coffee set up and clothes out the night before. This avoids the morning rush. I would suggest you start doing that. I would also have my 12 year old start making his own lunch. Making him responsible for that.

I'm sorry your day started out so hectic!! I hope it gets better!!

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

huh. sounds like your son is picking up on your husband's rather cavalier attitude about how you ought to be treated.
i would re-eddicate them both. pronto.
hope the rest of your day goes better, mama.
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful
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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I am with Just M!!!!!!!!!!! I would tell him when he get's home now breakfast and lunches are his job. My kids have gotten their own breakfast for years. And when my youngest was to little to my oldest got his for him. And oldest has made lunches since about 1st grade.

Good luck and God Bless!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm with Just M. -and I would have let him go hungry today for saying such a crappy thing to his mother! Make a list of chores and "jobs" for him -including getting his lunch together for school every day. I would also make sure he understood that if I was in a hurry and needed some help and cooperation, he could certainly fix his own breakfast.

2 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Chicago on

I don't have a child at that age yet but I think if I heard "that's not my job" I would have handed him a box of cereal or pop tarts and walked away.........feed yourself, dude, it's time.

I also have a husband that leaves the car empty - on a regular basis. He'll say things like, "well, I just wanted to get home as soon as I could." Yeah, right, you just didn't feel like taking the time so before I take the kids to daycare I have to stop for gas, making me late for work - where I MAKE THE MAJORITY OF THE MONEY!!!!!

I used to say some pretty awful things and let him have it but nothing ever changed.........now I just look at him and say, "wow, I'm one lucky girl."

1 mom found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Rockford on

Sounds like a good day to curl up with a good book and escape for a while!! Sorry you had a rough morning. It sounds like none of those things would have been quite as annoying by themselves, but when they all happen at the same time it makes you want to pull your hair out! (I have had many mornings when stuff like that happens. ugh.)Hope the rest of your day/week starts being better!

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