Just Turned 36 and I'm Pre Menopausal??? Desperite for Help.

Updated on April 12, 2014
B.S. asks from Spring, TX
8 answers

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I just turned 36. I went to my pcp because I hadn't had a period in 7 months-my periods weren't regular and I had read to wait at least 6 months before assuming something was wrong. The lab work shows I'm pre menopausal. My FSH is 107.7 and my LH is 59. We desperatly want another child. Can someone please give me ideas or hope? I have blue cross blue shield and they don't cover anything to do with fertility. I feel so lost/depressed. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

**No, I am not with my ex abusive husband-we have been separated for 2 years now and the divorce is right around the corner. I'm with a great guy that treats my son as his own. Every family has issues and there is never a perfect time. I grew up as an only child and don't want that for my son. I truly appreciate your concern though. I would never consider this with just anyone. I am a responsible parent and my son means the world to me.

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So What Happened?

I'm sorry, by the responses I'm getting on here I shouldn't have posted I guess. Yes, I WAS with an abusive husband and in a bind. No, my son wants nothing to do with him. Just because my ex went crazy I guess to y'all ladies that means I shouldn't be blessed with another child by a wonderful man. I had no way of knowing the ex was going to go crazy! But thanks for making me feel like crap. Have a great day!

Featured Answers

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Peri menopause can go on for 10 years or longer.
It's not impossible to get pregnant but it is harder.
A fertility specialist might be able to help but they are expensive.
Secondary infertility (already have a child but having difficulty having another) is more common than you think.
Worrying and being desperate won't change/help anything.
Try to relax and if worse comes to worse and it's just not meant to be then maybe adoption might be a good way to go.

6 moms found this helpful

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I was pre menopausal when I got pregnant with my last baby.

5 moms found this helpful

T.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

Brenda, first of all, I just wanted to express my sympathy for your situation. There's a lot going on with your body, and you are understandably upset, & unsure where to go/what to do next.

A brief search online regarding prenancy & pre (or peri) menopause gives a lot of information warning women that there is still a chance to get pregnant until periods have stopped for 1 year, but very little about -how- to achieve this & sustain it. Here are a couple of links that provided at least some helpful information:
http://www.nia.nih.gov/health/publication/menopause
http://www.nia.nih.gov/health/publication/menopause-time-...
http://www.health.com/health/article/0,,20412203,00.html

Make an appointment (or a 2nd, if you already saw them) with your OB/GYN to discuss what non-invasive & non-fertility treatment options you have to help your body be receptive to conception & sustainment of prengnacy. The 3rd link I posted mentions hormone levels; a pill might be an option.

Also talk about what the traditional fertility treatment options are, & their affordablity. Obviously, it is always ideal when insurance will cover treatments, but if that is not an option, you can still find out what your options are, & how effective they are likely to be, as well as the costs. If you & your husband want to go forward with any of them, such costs can be offset/reduced by flex-spend accounts.

Consider, if you & your husband pursued adoption, there would be costs involved. I'm assuming you are not currently considering adoption as a choice, but for couples who seriously want another child regardless, the expenses of fertility treatments might be something you are willing to take on, especially if they have a greater rate of success, much like couples accept & plan for the costs of adoption.

Wishing you the very best as you get the answers you need. T.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I don't have any real advice, just wanted to say I understand and I am sorry for your struggle. Just remember, a child can come into your life and heart in many different ways, and adoption may be an option worth considering depending on what your doctors tell you.

Best of luck and Blessed Be.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My BCBS covers fertility treatments. Maybe your employer selected a policy that doesn't.

That said, perimenopausal women are not infertile yet. Wait until your new relationship has some more miles on it before making a life altering decision.

2 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I'm sorry you are going through this. I gather there is some question in some people's minds about how long you've been free of a bad relationship, but that's not your question here, so I don't see it as relevant.

It's typical for doctors to advise you to wait 6 months - but that's not always wise, frankly. I think you should check your insurance as well - with the Affordable Care Act ("Obamacare"), reproductive health care, including infertility, is supposed to be covered, and women cannot be deprived of coverage when men are covered for comparable care. However, any plan (particularly lower-premium plans) can have a high deductible (in exchange for lower monthly costs) so it may be that you have one of those plans. Be sure your coverage is in compliance with federal law.

That said, there are all kinds of environmental factors as well as things like stress and nutritional imbalances that can cause hormonal and chemical imbalances in the body. (That does not mean you are the cause of your own problem by any means! Stresses can include all kinds of things you can't control!) So there are a lot of things that can be done on a non-medical basis to help cycles, pregnancy, etc. I work in the field, and we've seen extraordinary results with non-drug therapies and supplementation that has helped so many women. I have a number of colleagues who have had results with irregular or non-existent periods, PCOS, fibroids, and many other issues who now have healthy babies without a lot of infertility treatments. I also have older women who have had great results stabilizing their hormones, with a reduction in (or elimination of) hot flashes, night sweats, and other menopausal issues. I know there is a lot you can do for less than the price of a designer cup of coffee every day! It's a lot easier to pursue a non-medical regimen first because there are not side effects. And this is something safe to use as a prenatal and while nursing as well.

I think it's normal to worry about the end of your fertility, especially at 36, so I don't think you need to apologize for that!

2 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

It's a toss up. I think you still could get pregnant. What does your doctor say? I know that the risk of miscarriage is higher though. I'm sorry, wish I could be more uplifting. There are LOTS of women who've gotten pregnant when others say they couldn't. Don't give up!!

2 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My DO OB/GYN put me on a birth control like pill that put me back on regular periods. It worked for a couple of years.

I think that your OB/GYN should be who you talk to. Only they know the body well enough to know if there is a way to stop this or not.

1 mom found this helpful
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