Just Need to Know What Everyone Thinks.

Updated on August 14, 2008
A.G. asks from Pocatello, ID
36 answers

I'm due to have baby #2 in January and want to have my daughter who is almost 20 months in a bed before this next baby comes. We are moving in about 2 weeks so my question is when should I transition her to her new bed? Some people have said wait until she is used to her new surrounds and new room before taking her out of her crib. Then other people have said make the change all at once. Just put her in her new room and new bed the first night we move in. So what does everyone think? Just to give you some background info on my daughter's sleeping habits She goes down awake and falls asleep on her own and doesn't give me any problems. But if we go anywhere over night she has a hard time going to bed if we stay longer than one night. She will cry herself to sleep and usually wake up very early the next day. but once we get back to our house and her crib she is back to her normal sleeping habits. So I would just like some advise on what you think the best way to transition her would be. Wait a while longer or do it the first night in our new home?

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So What Happened?

Thank you to everyone for all of your get input. I decided to go with the half of you that said to wait until she is a little older and comfortable with our new home before putting her in a toddler bed. I decided that baby #2 isn't coming until January so there is no rush right now. And I'm really glad that I wait because for the first 4 night she cried when it was time for bath and bed. She only stopped when i would put her in her crib. I think it really made her feel safe having her familiar crib in the strange new place.

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S.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

We moved and changed my boy into a big boy bed at the same time when he was about 18 months and it worked great. Kids can adjust to change. Maybe you could sleep with her for a couple of nights at first if she seems nervous. I think with the baby coming it might be easier to move and switch beds at one time. Then she will have time to adjust before she has to adjust to a new baby.

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M.C.

answers from Denver on

My daughter doesn't like changes, so I would take one change at a time. I would go ahead and change her bed now and give her a chance to get used to her new bed. Make it a special thing. If she likes princeses, get new princess sheets. Then when you move, she has a comfort zone in her bed. If you change it all at once, it might be more upsetting for her, but she should adjust in a couple of weeks. Kids are more flexible than we realize most of the time.

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S.H.

answers from Boise on

My oldest daughter was about 22 months when her little sister was born. We put her in a toddler bed about a month to a month and a half before her sister arrived. She did awesome. So I would wait till November to get her the bed and set it up. maybe get her a "special" bed set for christmas to make it even more something her own.

Hope that helps.

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C.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Andrea,

I believe that the best thing to do is to let your daughter keep her crib until you are sure that she is OK with her new surrounding. She will be in a new house, a new room and most likely sleeping in a new direction. Adding the new bed is only asking for trouble, as far as I see it.

With my whole heart,
C. TLC (Transition Life Coach)
Loving Connections LLc

What is Loving Connections?
Caring enough to share your whole heart.

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C.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My little boy who is now 23 months old was crawling out of his crib at 17 months old. We usually let him lay in our bed to fall asleep and then we'd transfer him to his room. I wanted him to fall asleep in his room and to be in a toddler bed but didn't know how to do it. I asked my peditrician what she suggested and she said do it all at once. She said it might be a little overwhelming at first but he'd get used to it. She said that if you keep changing things that can make it worse for him. So we put him in his Big boy bed and made sure he fell asleep in HIS bed in HIS room. We just hyped it up at how big he was and that it was his very own and he ate it up. He felt important and didn't have a hard time transitioning at all. It worked like a charm. We're expecting #2 in Nov and we're switching his bed room. We're painting his room and letting him help with everything so we can get him transitioned before the baby gets here because that is going to be a huge change in itself! So I say when you move put her in her own bed in her own room. Just make it super special for her. You may have a couple rough nights since she does so well in her crib but it's better to get it over with. Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy!

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A.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I would do it the first night, personally. Instead of traumatizing her twice.

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S.H.

answers from Denver on

When my daughter was 18 months old I had my 2nd child so I have gone thru this. When she was about 15 months old we bought her a big girl bed (a twin, I think toddler beds are kind of a waste of money personally...) We put it together and took the crib out of her room. She slept great that night and then cried for a week strait until we put her crib back in her room! So we had the crib & the bed in her room for a month or so and I started getting scared that my new baby would not have a place to sleep when he arrived.

Every night before I put her to bed I asked my daughter where she wanted to sleep...her big girl bed or the crib. Every night for about a month she said the crib. Then one night she said she wanted the bed. She never had a problem again. I kept the crib in her room for about another week to make sure...she never wanted to sleep in it again.

For her twin we got bed rails, and she never had a problem...she never fell out of bed or anything like that.

Maybe when you move you could try having her big girl bed and the crib in her room when you get there...that way it is a whole new house, and it won't be as big of a shock as it would be if you just brought a new bed in. She won't know, she might think the new bed just came with the new house.

Good Luck!!!

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M.H.

answers from Pocatello on

HI Andrea,

It sounds to me that your girl is uncomfortable sleeping in strange places. I would go with the waiting until she is used to your new house before putting her in a new bed.

M.E.

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D.A.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hello Andrea,

I personally would make a big deal out of moving and setting up her new "big girl" room. It may be a little early to transition to a bed, but I moved from St. Louis to Salt Lake when my daughter was the same age and out of lack of a way to get the crib here..we made the transition. There were a few days, maybe even weeks that I went through having to walk her back to bed several times before sleep came, but she did fine. Oh and once when she was supposed to be napping she got out of bed and pulled EVERYTHING out of the closet and proceeded to fall asleep atop the mess. I have pictures of that one! This all took place 23 years ago, but the memory of that disaster stays close to the surface. lol Just think of this transition as being a positive thing and you and your daughter will be fine. Also knowing that you didn't wait for the day that she learned to climb in and out of her crib (possibly hurting herself in the process) is a big plus. Go for it!

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S.L.

answers from Fort Collins on

I would move her straight into her new room. Since she is moving anyway, you might as well do it all at once. We moved our daughter into her "big girl room" before the baby was born, because we didn't want her to feel like she was getting kicked out of her room my the little interloper.

I know she is still young, but you can let her help make her room special. If you are going to paint, you might let her pick one color and coordinate the room around that. Our daughter (of course) wanted a pink room, so instead of Pepto pink walls that she was going to hate in a few years, we got a really nice palate of mellow tropical colors - salmon, orange and yellow, then we added in some great bedding that tied everything in together with a great hot pink. Although you don't want to let your daughter decorate the whole room, I would definitely let her give some ideas and maybe pick her bedding. We picked a really nice patterned comforter, and did solid colored sheet sets that will still coordinate when she is ready for a new comforter. In any case, just remember that changing surroundings is hard, so give her some time to acclimate, and expect to give her lots of extra love and attention to help ease her through!

Best of luck,
S.

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

I thin k I would try the new bed in the new room idea. One thing that helped a lot of friends was to put the mattress on the floor until they were three or so...then it isn't so high up. Mine are 25 months apart so I waited until a little after two by getting a second crib for the cheap...then moving the baby to the better crib and selling the cheap one. We also used a toddler bed for a bit but quickly went to a mattress as we bought them on sale at the back to school sales..nearly 50% off!

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D.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Andrea, could you have planned this any better? :D

moving to a new home is such a terrific opportunity to make change in your life & in your family routine!

when my husband & i moved, we took the opportunity to have our son say goodbye to the old house... we took him through after everything was cleaned out... then we introduced him to the new house. we had set up his bedroom ahead of time. we added a couple of new wall hangings & made sure he knew all his old favorite stuff was now in the new place.

he really felt so grown up! we had already transitioned him to his toddler bed before we moved, but at the new place, we raised his bed frame significantly higher from the ground. he loved his "big boy bed". we had put new character sheets on his bed too. he embraced the change!

if your little girl has a favorite character or animal, you might consider investing in some new sheets for her "big girl bed". maybe a wall hanging, or some kind of decoration. she knows she will be a big sister soon & you might just tell her how important it is that she "gets" a new bed!

i would certainly recommend you start right from the beginning the first night in your new home. your little girl will be transitioning just as you will be. i think it will be easier for her to adjust to a couple of changes at once rather than: adjust to new home, then new bed, then new baby, etc. you could connect the two first relatively simple changes in environment.

most important: you know your daughter best. you will make the healthiest choice for her & for you.

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E.S.

answers from Denver on

We moved about 1 week after my second child turned 2 and I was 8 months pregnant with our 3rd. We also debated about when to switch him to a big bed since he was such a good sleeper in his crib. We decided to just put him in the new big boy bed fresh from the start in our new house and it worked out great for us. He had a new room all to himself (instead of sharing with his big sis) and a new bed and we made a big deal out of it the first few nights so he got excited also. When baby #3 came, there were no issues to worry about regarding where anyone would be sleeping - even though the baby slept in my room for the first few months anyway. Now if I only had a few extra arms! Congrats and good luck!

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

i say wait until you are moved. we moved in with my sister for 2 months while i was pregnant and my oldest was 19 months. it was most convenient to keep the crib in storage and put him in the toddler bed my mom had already bought and set up at my sister's house. plus, he could already climb out of the crib. when we found our own place, we of course put him in the toddler bed again. i think it was too much change for him all at once. keeping him in the bed was a long miserable battle. he acted out a lot during the time we were at my sister's and for a few months after we moved into our own place. i have since learned that he has a difficult time letting go of things because he gets quite emotionally attached. he's almost 5 now and he even acted out quite a bit recently when he and his brother got bunk beds, which are so much more fun than his toddler bed was. still, it was an emotional adjustment for him and he acted out for days until i figured out what was going on and helped him talk out his feelings. so if i were you, i'd let her get used to the new house for a month or more, then talk with her about a new bed. tell her what will happen to her crib. let her help you put blankets and stuffed animals in it for the new baby when her new bed is set up. make the changes one at a time. good luck!

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A.D.

answers from Great Falls on

Andrea,
We moved into a new house when our daughter was 19 months old, and our second on the way. We too wanted to transition her to a new bed, but with so many changes coming up we were unsure how to do it w/out shocking her too much, plus she has so many sleeping issues the first year, and we were just getting some good sleep. We went ahead and just set up her big girl bed the first night. It was just a conversion of her crib, so it was still very familiar. We used her same sheets and made sure she had her special blankets and stuffy to sleep with. One thing that I think helped more than anything, was that I made sure her room was set up. I unpacked all her toys and books, and hung her pictures on the wall. I tried to give her as much familiar things in her new room as she had at the old house. If I had time, or had not been pregnant, I would have even painted her room the same color. She was SO thrilled to see all her things, I think that is when she realized that we were in a new place for good. I also took her to the old house once it was empty and had her say good-bye. I also talked to my daughter alot about the upcoming changes.(this also works very well for preparing her for the upcoming baby) I would tell her we were moving, and about the new house. Although she was very young, I really think they understand alot more than we give them credit for. She did a wake up a few times, but we used her old baby monitor to listen to her, and would go in and comfort her. I think is was less than a week, and she was back into her old routine and sleeping through the night again. Now we have been in the house for six months, and her brother has been home for 7 weeks, and she has adjusted great! good luck during your move!

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C.B.

answers from Provo on

We were in a very similar situation a few years ago-moving, new baby (I was 37wks pg when we moved), and switching my 21month old to a bed. We did what most here have been suggesting-get the new room set up with the big bed and let him get all excited about it. I was terrified that I'd be doing newborn, toddler who won't sleep, and trying to settle into a new place but it worked out wonderfully! He was actually the easiest of my kids to switch from crib to bed, despite the fact that everything was crazy at the time! (baby was born one week after we moved)

So you can chalk this up to one more suggesting that you do it all in one shot! :)

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S.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

In my experience, I'd say don't rush your little one out of the crib just because a sibling is on the way. I have a seven month old that sleeps in a pack and play and a 2 year old that is still in his crib.

If your 20 month old is ready for a big bed, go ahead and make the switch, but for my toddler, staying in the crib has been the greatest.

I do have a friend, however, who put up both the crib and the bed in the new house when they moved and let her toddler decide where she wanted to go. For now, she is choosing the crib. I like this approach because it lets your toddler adjust at her own pace.

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R.W.

answers from Denver on

My daughter was about 2.5 when I moved her so this might not be applicable, since your daughter is younger. My daughter had very similar sleeping habits where she would go to sleep awake and fall asleep on her own and sleep through the night until around 7:00. I potty trained her a little before 2.5 and before taking her out of a crib b/c I was so afraid that moving her to a bed would disrupt her great sleeping habits and mine. (I like my sleep a lot!) Needless to say, one day I suddlenly decided it was the day and drug the big girl bed up from the basement set it up and that night put her in it. The key for me was keeping the crib set up as a back-up. I told her if she gets out of her big girl bed she has to sleep in the baby bed. She was all about being a big girl and wanted nothing to do with a baby bed. She has never even tried to get out of her bed and still calls for me every morning to come get her. I was basically making it a bigger issue in my head then it was. If I were you I would set both the crib and the big girl bed up and go for it. Maybe as you are moving talk up being a big girl/boy. Best of luck!

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N.F.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Please leave her in HER bed! she needs this at this point in her life! the new baby can and will sleep in a basinet next to your bed or in the babys room for a few months! then talk to your child, and tell her that now she has a new room, you think it would be nice if SHE helped pick out a nice new bed for her! and new covers!!!!

take her to the store and let her pick from a few that you both like! and let her pick out the new covers, dont get things you like let her pick it out so she knows that she is important and big !!!!!

let her help you make the bed,and put her best stuffed animals on it!!!

i know this from time and time being in the military and moving around so much with little kids!!!

little bit about myself married to GREAT man for 18 years we have 11 kids his 2, my two, our 3 and adoptted 4 !!!! everyday new and better days!!!!!

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C.K.

answers from Denver on

I don't think you should move her out until she is ready. The baby does not really need a crib right away. I think that moving your toddler out of her crib right when you move could backfire, unless she is ready for a big girl bed anyway. I would wait until she is ready on her own. My son who is 21 months old gave up the crib on his own a couple of weeks ago, (less than a week before my second baby was born!) and I was shocked. I had imagined that he'd be in it for a while longer but he climbed out one night and that was it. We bought him a twin bed and box spring and he has slept in it without any trouble since. I have heard from several friends who jumped the gun and moved their kids out to free up the crib for Number 2, have had lots of sleep woes to deal with.

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

I would do it all at once. Make a big deal about how you're moving, how she'll have a brand-new big-girl room and a brand-new big-girl bed. I think that if she gets a new house, then two months later gets a new bed, then a few months later gets a new baby, it might be such a long period of change that it might get to her.
Before we moved into our first house, we were staying with my inlaws. We were there a month, and my son could not sleep by himself. He slept between DH and me for a whole month! He hadn't seen his crib in that long, either (he was in a pack 'n play when we put him down to bed, then he'd cry at midnight and I'd take him to our bed). The first night in our new house, he was back in his crib. He cried at midnight, just like he did at my in-laws', but I let him cry it out (he was good at that) and that was the only night he had a problem. He was only 12 months old though.
I don't know if that will have any relevance to your upcoming move, but I figured it couldn't hurt to share.
Good luck with your move!

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A.D.

answers from Great Falls on

I would say that is a lot of change all at once for a little girl. The new room, bed, & a new baby. If it was me I would move her to the new room first. If it is possible leave her crib up and put her "big girl" bed in her room as well. Maybe let her go with you to pick out some new sheets and make it "her" decision. That is what we just did with our oldest and she will be 3 in Oct. She has a 22 mo old sister and a 3 mo old brother as well. she wasn't quite ready for a big girl bed untell recently and sounds a lot like your little one as far as sleeping away from home and going down easy. Anyways we left her crib in her room and she decided that she wanted to sleep in her "big girl" bed. She has from day one and we never had any problems with her wanting her crib back. Just remember once you put them in a big bed they can get out whenever they want and with a new baby it might be nice to have the crib for a while for naps etc. Hope this helps :)
-A.

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T.T.

answers from Denver on

We moved when my son was about 22 months and he slept in his crib for about a week and then I moved him to a big boy bed. I put a mesh rail on the side of it, too, so he wouldn't roll out. I had more problems with him at night once he was in the bed, just so you're prepared. Some nights I had to sit outside the bedroom until he was asleep. But that didn't last long. Just make sure you make a big deal out of it and maybe buy her some fun new sheets or something. My son had a hard time when we were away from home, too, but he transitioned very well with the move. I was concerned about sleep trouble, too. But we really didn't have it. So maybe set up her crib for a short time, a week or two, and then but her in the big bed. Let her get used to the new house and see that her things are there and this is her house now, and then move to the new bed. Talk about it often with her so she is prepared. Toddlers transition much easier when they know what's coming. :) Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Denver on

We transitioned my son at 2 yrs. It became very hard to make him stay in his bed all night long. He was constantly in our room beside our bed. We would walk him back to bed mulitple times throughout the night. We about had to put up a gate after many partial nights of sleeping on his floor. It is a hard transition. I would wait as long as possible :)

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J.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hindsight is 20/20, so I'll share. Keep her where she is happy and let it be her decision to move on up. Then, once she makes it, no wishy washing--the crib is history. Children like control and if it is within your power to grant her this little bit, I would do it.

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S.S.

answers from Provo on

Keep her in her crib as LONG as possible...until she can climb out herself!!! Have you thought of the fact that she will be climbing out of her bed and wanting to come in with you at night once she is in a bed? Why spoil a good thing?? Just my personal advice! I have a 28 month old and she still is in a crib and it is heavenly! (she is my 4th baby, and I did the same for all our children.) With a new baby coming especially, you will want her asleep at night! You will have enough to worry about with a newborn and all that brings, especially the interrupted sleep patterns with feedings. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

When we moved for the first time after having kids, my daughter was around the same age as your little one. We set up her "big girl bed" when we moved in and she absolutely loved it. She felt so big and was excited to have a new bed in her new room.

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L.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I'm usually all for as few transition periods as possible and would normally say do it all at the same time. However, my pediatrician says that moving is quite a huge deal for toddlers. That they need to have familiar things around them as they get used to their new living arrangements. When we moved our son was 14 months. He was having a rough time of it the first day when there were boxes all over and he slept in a portacrib. But once we got his crib up the next night, he seemed to enjoy the new adventure. So I would recommend keeping her in her crib until she's use to your new home.
I was worried about the crib to bed transition, but it went so smoothly. Your daughter's sleep habits seem great; so are my son's and there has never been any issues since he switched at 22 months (he's 3 now). I think if toddlers have good sleep habits like that then they make that transition pretty easy.
Good luck with the move and whatever you decide:)

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J.A.

answers from Denver on

I was in the same situation - we moved my daughter 2 months prior to the babies arriving. That way she did not feel displaced and we had the energy to work with her if she was not taking well to a big girl bed. It actually went amazingly smooth. Good luck!

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B.M.

answers from Great Falls on

New home, new bed...I'd do it all at once so that she only has to adjust once. Otherwise, she'll have two separate adjustment periods.

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L.D.

answers from Denver on

Honestly, I don't see why you even want to take her out of her crib, yet. Leave her in there as long as possible. When I had baby #2, my older son was only 16 months old and I put him in a big boy bed because I needed the crib. I wish I had just bought a second crib, taking Kyler (my older son) out of his crib just created all sorts of new problems. The new baby was disruptive to his life and then to take his crib, too, was h*** o* him and he started waking in the middle of the night and coming into my bed. I was so tired with the new baby I didn't fight it and now he's almost 4 and he still comes into my room every night. With my second son I left him in his crib until I couldn't keep him from climbing over the side (a few months after his second birthday) and he's fine in his own bed. There's no reason to take her out of her crib, you're not doing and damage leaving her in there, and moving is just going to compound the problem. You'll see with your second, you're going to try to keep him/her in their crib as long as possible.

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

I would keep her in the crib for a little while after you move into your new home. She sounds like that is her comfort zone. The move will be bad enough but if you make it easier for her by keeping her in her crib it will go smoother. There are a few months before you're due to work on getting her in a new bed. Good luck!!!

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M.H.

answers from Boise on

What I would do is get her all excited about moving to a new room and a big girl bed. When you move, set up the big bed and let that be. She will be very excited, especially if you are. Make sure she has something she finds a comfort, if you put a special blankie with her or a stuffed animal with her in her crib, give her that in her big girl bed. Good luck and have fun :)

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A.S.

answers from Pocatello on

From experience I wouldn't mess with a good thing. I have 3 kids under three and two of them are still in cribs and I wouldn't mess with that. I can put my 28 month old in her crib and she doesn't climb out at all we tried to switch her to the toddler bed about 6 months ago and it didn't go so well. She loves her sleep and being inclosed in the crib makes her feel secure so we can all still get a good nights sleep. My son has never slept the same since we took him out of his crib. He is now 3 but we took him out at 26 months cause baby 3 came and we needed the bed space. 3 cribs was out of the question for me. but we have not gotten the same amount of sleep since so hold on to the crib as long as you can but please remember that is only my opinion you have to do what works best for you. Good luck!

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T.C.

answers from Denver on

I'm a mother of 3 and have found it is best to not try and fix what's not broke. I have found it best to keep my last 2 kids in there crib as long as possible. Neither one of them ever tried to crawl out of bed and always went to bed well for me in there crib. I would recommend keeping her current bed at the new house. I don't know if you were planning on using the crib she is in for when the new baby arrives or not. My second and third child were only 22 months apart and I struggled with the decision of passing down the crib or getting a new one. I ended up just getting a new crib and waiting until both of them were 3 to put them in a big bed. You know your child best. Will it be a lot to change homes and give up her bed she is comfortable in for a new baby? Also remember that if you use a cradle in your room for the new baby that will also buy you a couple of months before your new baby needs the crib, this might give the 1st child some time to get used to the transition of a new home. Hope this helps and is not too confusing! Good Luck!

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L.G.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It looks like you're getting about the same adivce from everyone here that you were already getting, but I'll add my experience. We moved to a new home when my daughter was 19 months old. About a month before we moved, we put a bed in her bedroom and at first she didn't notice it but then a couple of weeks later she got interested in it and wanted to take her naps in the "big bed" and we obliged. Then about 2 or 3 nights before we moved she decided she was done with the crib and when we moved to the new house, the crib went right into storage. All kids respond differently, but it sounds like your daughter acts a lot like mine did. The nice thing was that we were pregnant when we moved also and when it was time to put the crib up in the nursery, she didn't even remember that it was hers and there were no problems there. Good luck!

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