HOW EMBARRASSING!! My husband and I just got caught "being intimate," by our 7 year old! We have never had the problem before and really don't think too much about it. Tonight we heard him cough while he was standing at our door, and there was no doubt what we were doing. I have no idea how long he was standing there, but could have heard some really inappropriate things! I asked if he was sick, and he said no, and then I asked if he needed to go to the bathroom and he said yes so he went and then returned to his room.
Okay, so what do ya do? If you have ever been in this situation, please share some advice! I hope I am freaked out A LOT more than he is, but I don't want to ask him questions in case he was really more asleep and it didn't register what he saw.
HELP!!!
So I round about asked him about the other night and I am pretty sure he was not really awake, or he wants NOTHING to do with talking about it! I asked him if he was feeling okay because his little brother was sick and I want to make sure he is not getting sick too. I asked if he remembered coming in and he said not really! SHEW!!
We are a fairly open family, and call it like it is. We use real names for body parts, and up until about a year and a half ago I was NOT modest around him. He knows that I have a Vagina and he has a Penis (to my in-laws dismay!). If he has questions about things, we have always been honest, but find he wants really simple answers.
Thanks to all who have replied!!
There are some books out there on the subject which might be helpful. My advice would be to say "What did you see last night?" Then he will tell you as little or as much as he saw. You can ask him if he has any questions and answer them. The key at this age is to answer simply and truthfully. If you give him too much information he will be overwhelmed and confued but if you try to make it a secret he will think it is bad or shameful.
I haven't been caught by my little ones, but I did catch my parents when I was 7 of 8. They didn't know I was there, I still don't think they know. I wouldn't say I was freaked out, maybe grossed out b/c I knew what they were doing, but the sound of my dad's boy like voice still haunts me-LOL
If that was me, I would go to my child and naturally just ask if he has any questions about what he saw or heard. I have a 6-year-old daughter. I've been honest with her from the time she started naming her body parts. I didn't exclude the breast area or vagina and gave her the proper words. It was weird at first, because I wasn't taught that when I was younger. And I'd always used the funny names to describe those parts. So at first I was awkward, but at least she was little and wouldn't know why. Now it's completely normal. I WISH she would ask where babies come from (she's an only child, so hasn't had the opportunity to ask because she hasn't seen me pregnant). But I think when parents are honest and answer the child's question (don't answer a question he's not asking), and the child in turn sees that his parents can act normal and not weird and answer their questions honestly, then I think the child learns that this is a normal part of human life (when ready to take on the responsibility) and that he can trust his parents to tell him the truth. I think it goes a long way to having our children respect us more because we're honest. My daughter and I don't use cutesy names at all. Now, when she's with her dad, that's a whole other story because he doesn't agree with me. I remind him that I'm the one who took the Human Sexuality course in college, aced it (highest score in the class), and took all the related social science courses (I was a criminal justice major, and we had to take a lot of psych courses). So she can talk over at his house as he permits, but in my house the rule is we don't use other names. And when she finally asks how babies are made, I will gladly answer that question without all the details so I don't scare her.
Be real and be honest. You don't have to go over overboard asking him details and explaining what was happening - but I would suggest finding out how he feels. Not talking about it lets him draw his own conclusions and he is just not old enough to proces it appropriately. The most important thing is that he comes away from it knowing that he did not do anything wrong or is not "bad". That's just my suggestion.
Luckily this hasn't happened to me.
We always make sure to lock the door.
I would just say something like, "Honey, you scared me last night. I didn't know you were there until I heared you cough. Next time please let us know you're there so that I can help you with whatever it is that you need."
Then he might say, "You scared me too" (J/K)
We got caught by my 4 year old. Just be honest. I totally agree with Michelle. From the beginning teach them to use the right words and don't make a big deal out of it. I agree that this is a normal part of our life and there is no harm in telling the kids the truth when they ask..
