Just Found Out I'm Pregnant and Am Going Insane!!

Try finding out you're preganat when you go to the doctor for something else. I was SIX MONTHS and I had no idea. We never planned on kids and it's the BEST thing we ever did and love every minute of it.

I always thought I'd be a terrible mom but now I think I was put here to be a mom.

Being over 40 we decided "one and done." Now I spend all my time with my sone who is the best little guy in the world!

Enjoy knowing EARLY, we had so much to do in a VERY short amount of time. I had people show up at my shower in a snow storm because they coudn't believe I was preganant either. It was quite a fun experience.

The first time I was pregnant I did the home pregnancy test 5 or 6 times because I just couldn't believe it. But when they kept coming back positive I started focusing on being healthy for the new baby. Get reading on everything that's happening at this moment inside you and do some things to relax. Congrats!

Hi C.,

We didn't tell anyone until we were 2 months along, so I had almost a month of keeping the secret to myself. I felt like I was going insane! I did A LOT of pregnancy research, and I allowed myself to go out and buy a couple of baby outfits. I also started reading pregnancy books and researching cloth diapers.

Two totally awesome books you should check out are "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" and "From the Hips".

I felt a variety of emotions throught out my pregnancy. It was planned, and when I found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed, but also scared and in shock. Then I had bleeding like you did, and I was so scared. I had to wait a day to get in for an ultrasound and that was the longest day of my life. Then when we knew everything was fine, I was so thankful and I did so much praying. Then, I went through a period of fear: I wasn't ready, we need more money, etc. I wished for a miscarriage for awhile.

So, in a nutshell, really ANYTHING you're going to feel is "normal" and has been felt by other women.

:D I too took a test on tuesday. ~4 1/2 weeks now, so we're pretty close. This is my 3rd baby, so I understand where you are coming from. Try to relax and enjoy the experience. It's so awesome watching your belly grow (which will probably not be outwardly noticable until around five months). The "freaking out" is probably just your body adjusting to the hormones. I too have been a bit off. I get short tempered during pregnancy, and I've been dropping everything, it seems. I wake up to pee at 3 in the morning and lay there for an hour at least before I can fall asleep, my dreams have been crazy, too. It's all hormones. Something that helps me is to read for a little bit before bed. I keep snack bars in my dresser drawer for the middle of the night, when I wake up to pee and can't go back to sleep because my belly is growling. Get online and sign up for the baby Center newsletters. They send you weekly updates on what is going on inside you. It really helps to understand and cope with the changes. The Book, "What to expect when you're expecting" is awesome! I follow along with it every pregnancy. Those are a couple resources that will help you relax a bit and function better. Congratulations, and hang in there!

You're completely NORMAL! It is a very surreal feeling...especially if you don't have morning sickness. I didn't so I was taking pregnancy tests like crazy to make sure that everything was OK! Welcome to the wonderful world of Motherhood--you will worry for the rest of your life starting NOW!

One of the things that helped to ease my mind was reading...I read "What to Expect When Your Expecting" I also read "My Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy" and further along when my anxiety went from being pregnant to actually raising a healthy child I read "My Girlfriends Guide to the First Year".

Reading helped me to put things into prospective, and not over-react, which is SOO easy to do with all the extra hormones racing in your body.

Take a deep breath, it will feel more real after your first doctors appointment and when you start to tell your friends and family!

Good Luck!

Hi, C.!

I have three children, but I got pregnant with my first unplanned and still in college. I was 20 at the time and I was scared to death. I knew right away that keeping the baby was the only option for me, but still knew it was going to be scary and difficult. I did not feel happy about being pregnant until the first time I heard his heartbeat at the doctors office. I even secretly wished I would miscarry when I first found out. It is a huge life changing experience and it is completely normal to feel the way you are feeling. Before I had Aaron, I never wanted to get married or to have kids. I was independent and loved my life just the way it was. After, Aaron came along, I wanted nothing more than to have a family of my own. Aaron is 11 now, and I have two other children 4 and 3, and life is good. Having a baby will change you. It will change your marriage. It will dictate your life in so many ways. Nothing will ever be the same again. But I feel that being a mom is the greatest blessing that God has ever given to me, and he will never put any obstacles in our lives that we are not capable of getting through. Please try to sleep, try to relax, and try to see all the blessings that this baby brings to you and your husband. Stop worrying above all! You need to just take care of yourself. Congratulations!

Yup. normal. (But don't lose your job over this!!!) If you do not NEED to keep your job, keep it anyway and save the extra money- diapers etc are expensive.
:)

Hi C.,

I went through the exact same thing!!! You are not alone! It's hard to think of anything else those first few weeks, but it will get easier, and it will get more "real". I remember being in a daze the first while, not really believing it was actually happening, even though my husband and I planned it and were trying to get pregnant. It's such an amazing, confusing, exhilerating, wonderful, scary time....just try to relax and enjoy it. Believe me, it does go fast even though it doesn't seem that way now. It's hard to believe that it's a real person inside you, I don't know that I ever came to terms with that, all the way up until I delivered my little girl and held her in my arms. Anyway, I guess all I can say is enjoy, it's a wonderful time! Congrats and best wishes!

What your feeling is normal, especially for a first pregnancy. With my first it took months to feel really pregnant (besides a little sick and tired). When you start growing and feeling the baby inside of you it will be a whole lot more real. I didn't even feel love for that unborn child till he was born, even though I knew I loved him.
I have since had two more kids and it has gotten easier to "feel pregnant" sooner (of course you also grow sooner).
And having more time to think about it may drive you even crazier. My easiest pregnancy mentally was my second because I was still working full time and had already been through it. Actually last year when I was pregnant with #3, I was a SAHM and also went stir crazy just waiting for him to be born.
{{{HUGS}}}

Hi C.,
You are not going crazy--just think about everything that is changing and evolving inside of your body. Your hormone levels are extremely high right now, and that's enough to make anyone feel out of whack. Like the other writers said, it will start to feel more real as time goes on. When you go to your 10-12 week check-up, you might be able to hear the baby's heartbeat, and that alone will make everything instantly so real and almost tangible. Try to relax--enjoy this time with your husband. I realize that "try" is the operative word there! If you are feeling tense or anxious, realize that it is a normal feeling for many pregnant women. I went through various anxious stages in my pregnancy, but then I would realize that worrying wasn't doing me or the baby any good, and I forced myself to just calm down. Make sure that you're voicing any of these feelings to your MD as well as your friends and family. For me, it just helped to talk to others and to let them know how I was feeling. Congrats to you and your hubby--it's going to be great!! :)

C.,

Finding out you are pregnant for the first time can be a mind-blowing experience. It can seem surreal, which is kind of what you describe. Things are forever changed once you find out you will be a parent and be responsible for this little person.

Try to do things to calm yourself before bedtime, a bath, warm milk, a little walk earlier in the evening. It is important to get some sleep for your health and the health of your baby.

Talk to your doctor about it. You don't say if you experienced anxiety in your life prior to your pregnancy, but it sounds as if you are experiencing some now. This does not mean you are crazy, just adjusting to something very new (which can be anxiety provoking). Perhaps your doctor can help put your mind at ease, or suggest somebody you can talk with to help sort out all of these new feelings.

Congratulations on joining the ranks of mommyhood! Millions of moms have gone before and millions will come after. Show me a mom and I will show you someone who has had some fears, some anxiety and some doubts. We all go through it to some extent. If it is taking over your life, reach out for help. You don't have to do it alone! You can do this, it just may take a little time to adjust!

Best wishes,
W. Young, LMSW,BCD...mom of 3
www.kidlutions.com

I actually felt a little like this when I found out we were having our surprise youngest. He's 6 years younger than the one before him, and the older two are only 20 months apart. I never had imagined having a negative reaction at all to being pregnant, but for the first couple days after I found out I was freaking out like you. My reasons were a little different, like worrying that my husband was going to think I did it on purpose, and that it would interfere in my children's lives. But eventually I calmed down and realized, this was a gift and God wouldn't give me the gift if it wasn't what what meant to be for our family. I praise Him every day for our little surprise. He's three now. Try to focus on positive things. Like if the baby inside you is what is freaking you out, think instead of cute little outfits and picking out names and decorating. Focus on whatever you were looking forward to about the baby before you found out you were pregnant, and try not to let yourself think of whatever it is that is bothering you about it. Soon you will be so excited that the rest will melt away. And once you see that baby, you won't be able to beleive that you ever thought negative about him/her. I wish you all the best, and congratulations on your gift!

I felt the same way with my first. I had the worst stomach pains and I was so nervous to tell our parents. you would have thought I was 15!! We had been married for 2 years. Everything will be fine!!! It is a BIG step and just takes some getting used to. You will find it so fun having this little thing inside you! It is the most amazing thing ever! Maybe see about a Yoga class, it may help calm you.

Good Luck!

A.

I am excited for you it is a time you will question what have I done. What you are feeling is natural. Also sometimes you will spot a little when the fetus makes a home in your uterus. Following your doctors orders is the best thing you can do. Hormones will give you a lot of feelings you may not expect talk to others that have gone through it that you trust. Good luck.

it all is mind blowing when it happens, even if you have been wishing for it for a long time. All i can say is relax and enjoy it. Your body will be doing some funky things, but this is the miracle of life growing inside you. It is such a cool feeling to know you have a little person inside you!! Wait until it starts moving...totally freaky, but so cool! One is never totally prepared to become a parent or even be pregnant since you dont know what to expect. There are tons of books, videos etc...take advantage of your time right now and read up. And, you can actually talk to most women who have been pregant about stuff...most that i know are more than willing to talk about it or answer questions. For me, it was the most important time in my life and am gladly willing to talk about my pregnancy and kids.

Good luck!

first of all congradualtions!Of course you are a wreck all of a sudden you are going to be responsible for a new life. Your hormones are a wreck calm down.... take a deep breath and enjoy the changes you will discover.YOu will not really feel pregant until you feel the little flutters of the baby moving. The spotting is normal. Go back to work enjoy life and relax. Good luck. email me if you ever need to chat. ____@____.com

Well dont worry you will sleep as time goes on and your hormones level out you will prob sleep like a baby. I know I did!!!! Just breath and take it all in cause this is a amazing experience!

Yes! CONGRATS!

It was a weird combination of not believing I was but at the same time worrying about anything I could do wrong for the life that was growing inside of me.

I think I finally got it when I saw the heartbeat... you see it, you hear it... then it's real. Then I started to worry even more!!

Have you told your OB about the spotting and cramping?

I just have a few thoughts -- you're totally normal, and what's happening to you isn't your fault. Say that to yourself over and over, as a mantra. You're totally normal, and this isn't your fault.

Then go to the doctor. Your hormones are out of whack, and you need support.

Hang in there!!

Oh C., you poor thing. Yes, I totally felt that way. Super excited I was finally pregnant, totally freaked out at being solely responsible for growing our child and being healthy, etc. Not really believing that I was pregnant, sure something was going to go wrong... you name it. I was actually a bit depressed the whole first trimester. And then it got tons better. Hang in there and try to find distractions that work for you. Write about it and talk about it, but when you find yourself obsessing, try to distract yourself.
I hope that helps. And I hope the next several months go fast if you're obsessing and slow if you can be present and enjoy it.
I really liked the PRegnancy Countdown book. It had the most realistic honest quotes and advice inside it.
I'll be thinking of you.
A.

Just a note regarding having trouble sleeping. You should really try to make sure you get plenty of exercise (which is harder now that it's cold) but make sure you're really tired at the end of the day. You'll still probably wake at least once to go to the bathroom though. Get used to no sleep! Congrats and good luck.

PS. I cramped pretty bad with my first baby (never bled though). I think that's pretty normal because your uterus is not used to expanding.

I sometimes still look at my 10 month old in awe that he's real and have a hard time believing it.

I was pregnant at 17 and believe me, I denied/didn't believe that for months. ;-) This last time I was 38 and I had a hard time believing it as well, though mostly because I was scared I wouldn't carry to term (medically infertile for 15 years, so this one was a surprise/blessing).

So yes, felt the same thing twice. It will get more real when you're as big as a house, but the awe may come back once in a while and really, it's a good thing - it reminds you of how wonderful/precious/awesome creating a new life really is.

Congratulations! Hope all goes well.