Just Curiosity

My kids don't spend the night away from us until they ask- my oldest asked to around 6, my middle son was 5, and my little guy in still in the bed with me, so no. My husband and I were married a long time before we had kids, and we're not in a rush to leave them behind so we can do stuff. We'd rather do it together as a family.

My son was 9 yrs old when he went to his first sleep over lock in where he goes to taekwondo.
There's no rush on this.
When I was growing up, over nights and slumber parties were something teens did - it wasn't for younger kids.
I was 15 when I went to my first slumber party.

Besides the hospital...and having children...
I haven't slept away from the kids. They haven't done sleepovers yet, and my husband and I have never gone away as a couple with no kids.
I haven't really thought about it!
L.

I can't honestly remember. I have four kids and the youngest is 12 so it has been a while. Still the big reason I don't remember is because it was a non event. Something came up that I needed to be away and I was away.

I take a lot of pride in my children's independence seems to me being clingy towards them would remove some of that independence.

Of course I wouldn't leave them with someone else just for the experience either. Guess I am saying if you actively avoid doing something away from them that is unhealthy but then actively finding reasons to be away from your kids isn't healthy either.

Sorry if there isn't an actual answer in there, I think there is but who knows...
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Oh yeah, McMama's response reminded me that yeah, having other kids you tend to leave them at home for that...

With my daughter, she spent the night at my parents when she was 6 weeks old. With my son, born 2 years and 2 months later, he was 4 months old and he and our daughter (2 years and 4 months old) at the time spent the night with my parents.

Now that I'm pregnant with my third, I figure this one will be older before sleeping away...mostly because that would entail someone watching all three of our kids!!

My oldest was six when she first spent a night away from me, and that was with her grandparents, about two miles away from where I live. Please don't feel bad about this...no one says you have to dump your little ones somewhere else for the night! Mine just wasn't ready until then...she had the opportunity before that, and didn't want it, and I felt no need to push it. She did it when she was ready, and has plenty of times since.

Mine was just shy of 4 months. I had surgery, so he spent the night with my mother. I called her later the next morning and asked to bring me my baby. I had to leave him again for a few days when he was about 13 months, and I hated it.

I think that it's perfectly fine to let your children know that you are around every single night for the first few/several years of their lives. People would tell me that I needed to let him spend the night with my mother so that he could get used to not spending his nights with me. I would always ask why. Hell, he won't be having to spend those nights away from me unless there's some emergency, so why should he have to get used to my not being around?

As far as I'm concerned, you never stop bonding with your child. Each new phase brings new trust and expectations. You're always learning each other. My husband and I still have time together; we still get out occasionally, at least once a month. When it comes to bedtime, that is sacred. We like for our child to know that when it's time to go to sleep for the night, when he's ready to close his eyes for the day and settle in, Mommy and Daddy are close by. It's not inhibiting or over-protective to do so, and it doesn't make them wrong for doing it with their children. It's about how you decide to teach your child and what you want your child to learn.

ETA: Meredith C. summed it up like I wanted. I waited a long time to have my baby, and I want to be around and do stuff together. I always said that I didn't want my child to be independent as a function of coping. I want him to venture out on his own because he trusts where he is and has learned that I've got his back, not because I walked away and left him to figure it out. I think of that as traumatizing. You just have to know your kid and what he responds to, which is what you learn when you have that time together. People used to question the fact that I would hold him while I did stuff around the house or let him sit on my lap while he played. They thought that I should set him down and walk away, teaching him to play independently. One day, we were sitting on the sofa and he just climbed down and sat on the floor and played. That's just how I wanted it to happen.

I think my son stayed at my moms when he was under O.. I could probably count the away sleepovers (he's 10) on my fingers and toes.

The thing is, YOU need to do what's right for YOU and your little O.. It doesn't really matter what anyone else has/does do--do what YOU feel is best in your gut. Leaving them or not -- it's not a character flaw either way and don't let anyone make you feel that it is.

My daughter first spent the night away from home at 5; and that was at the babysitter's house after she begged for 3 weeks. The babysitter is more like family than "the babysitter".

The only nights before that that she had spent away from me were the 3 nights I was in the hospital (once during pregnancy when I had migraines that caused my left side to go numb like a stroke and they kept me over night; and the 2 nights they kept me when I had my son). But my husband was home all three nights with her.

My son was 4 his first (and only) night away from home and that was with my sister in law.

Either my husband or I are home every night to tuck them into bed. The times we go out for "date night" we try to go out early enough that they can stay up late with the sitter (babysitter's daughter who is more like a big sister) and go to bed when we get home.

somewhere during 2 years old she was a reflux kid with really bad sleeping habits and would cry at night from it. As soon as she grew out of the crying (still has reflux at 6) then she started.

Honestly though I never had a reason before that point. when she turned two my ex and i went on a date and didnt get back until 9:30 and her grandparents put her to sleep on purpose so we'd leave her there. they had been trying to convince us beforehand but we never had a need so they never had her sleepover before. so we left her there that night, we were only 10 minutes away and it went great so fun sleep overs started after that about once a month until we seperated when she was three then they decreased for lack of time to be shared

My daughter was 3 when i had to go take care of my sick mom for 5 days. She stayed home with dad and grandma. I thought I would be so upset but I knew she would be fine. So there was no trauma for either of us!

She is 6 now and last summer she slept over at her cousin's house. I don't think she even said goodbye to me as she ran out the door and got in their car.

1 night away won't hurt. But if you are not ready and there is no emergency - why bother? Wait a bit.

I went away for a girls weekend and left the boys with my husband shortly after each of my boys turned one and were weaned from the breast. Once my younger son turned two my husband and I began leaving the boys for overnights with friends or family a couple of nights a year. Once the older son turned three we went away to Vegas for a week. My kids didn't have any issues around sleep. They were easy to get to bed and slept through the night without a problem.

With my son, (firstborn) I think he was about 8 months old. We left him with my parents to drive 2 states over and pick up a new car we ordered through a broker. I don't even remember with our daughter. Certainly younger than that, though. But only when they were in the care of their grandparents. They didn't sleep overnight elsewhere (aunts/etc) until they were older--like 3 or 4 years old.

My son was 2.5 before I left him overnight. Now he's 6 and I still don't like to do it. It's not because I don't trust others to watch him. I do. But I miss my kids when I'm away from them.

My second - I had to go on a work trip when he was 4 months old. It was terrible, both because I wasn't ready and because I was nursing and had to pump every 4 hours for 3 days. Not one of my fonder memories. My first voluntary trip away from him was after 2 yrs old.

My daughter is 6 and has never spent the night away from me and my husband at the same time. My husband used to camp w/ our son and the boy scouts and has had to spend the night or a few nights away for work but I was home with her. I have spent a few nights away for work one time and one night away with my son one other time. No sleep overs with family members to date.

This has been for many reasons starting with I don't think she is ready (nor am I). Others reason include that those I would be comfortable with (safety and care wise) do not have the room or have dogs (which she is allergic to).

My son (now 21) did spend the night away much earlier (only with family members) but that was necessary due to my work schedule.

We didn't spend any nights away from our children until my oldest was 5, so I don't think it's strange at all!

I traveled for work when my daughter was 18 months old. Both Hubby and I love to travel and have done some very adventuresome things well off the beaten path but I found it really hard to leave her. Really hard. She's 4 now and I only travel 2 other times without her. Both times were much easier but honestly we prefer to travel as a family.

I also didn't want to leave my son for a long time. Not that I thought it was wrong when other moms did (I was actually jealous that they could do it so easily!)
I took my first trip away when he was four and my daughter was almost two. I was SO anxious but my God from the moment I stepped on the plane I couldn't believe how RELAXED I felt. It was like I'd been ON for four years and it was the first time I could just really not worry about anything. It was a weird, hard to describe feeling.
The thing was, I was more worried about my daughter having a hard time, because she was younger. But that wasn't the case at all. My MIL told me later that my daughter was just fine, barely noticed I was gone :-( but my son was sad and teary sometimes, especially at bedtime.
Still, it was a wonderful trip and I was an extremely happy mommy when we returned. So happy, in fact, I got pregnant again right away!

With my daughter I think she was about 18 months....I had to go in the hospital for my son's birth with a C-section so my sister took her for a few days and of course brought her to visit me.

My son was 7 days old when I Iet my sister in law keep him overnight. I wouldn't have done it, but I had just had a C-section, my hubby was being a selfish jerk, I had to have a biopsy on the end of my finger, and I was exhausted. I just broke down crying because I couldn't handle anymore. My mom was like: ok, you are leaving the baby here, and going to BED! and I did. I was only away from him for like 13 hours but it was so great to get that sleep. I haven't left him overnight since..

My oldest was just turning one - I had an out of town wedding to go to so he stayed with my mom for one night. I had to do two overnights at work a few months later and another out of town wedding a few months after that so he also stayed with her.

With my younger boys, I think my husband and I went away for a night to celebrate our anniversary when my bigger little boy was 6 months old and then I was in the hospital giving birth again when he was 22 months old. With my youngest, I don't think I slept apart from him until he was 2, when my husband and I went away for a weekend for his birthday.

I didn't actively plan nights apart, but as things came up where it made more sense to leave the kids at home or with someone while we did what we had to do, that's what we did.

I'm going to make some assumption, so i'm sorry if they're wrong. Since you adopted, i'm guessing you were trying before that, and that makes this baby even more extra special to you.

We, as moms tend to think we need to be there 'in case of emergency', at the very least. Sometimes I just know that they won't sleep nearly as well as if I'm not there.

I remember that feeling. I remember felling it vividly the first time we left our DS1 at grandma's for a weekend. I called every few hours to check on him.

After a few times I started to realize that first, he was going to be ok. Every time. Even when we showed up to a few new scratches - he was ok. I also started to realize that i needed a break too. I needed to refresh, and it wasn't healthy to feel guilty about taking care of my mental health.

Children have been babysat for thousands of years. And I'd be willing to be that all newer mothers have had some separation anxiety. Welcome to our 'club'. :)

I had no choice but to sleep away from both of my babies due to hospital and surgery stays. It was really h*** o* me because I missed them, but the kids did fine. They were loved and well cared for which helped me be less anxious about being away from them.

My husband and I also traveled quite a bit with his company for conventions and Black Tie events. My kids were fine with it. It was an adventure sleeping somewhere else.

The happy result was that my kids could literally sleep anywhere. We traveled a great deal with them as well and they adjusted like champs.

When I was born, my mother had a very difficult time with blood clots. I was allowed to go home from the hospital but she wasn't. My grandparents took me home as a newborn. I was with them the first several months of my life.
When my mother was allowed to go home, I had bonding time with her. She was very close to her parents so we were at their house often. I had my own bed, my own little space, and that's where I slept. I had my own room and crib at home, which I slept in. We traveled to my uncle's house often and they made a place for me to sleep there. It was always the same, that was my crib or bed. Like my kids, I could sleep anywhere. Mom and Dad didn't have to be there.

Sometimes moms and dad's have business functions to attend that run late.
Sometimes moms and dads go out of town for a weekend of intimate time and recharging your batteries as a couple.

Heck, I'm a single mom and I had to leave my kids for over a week to take my insurance license classes in Sacramento.

There's nothing wrong with cuddling with your kids. My kids and I have been camping and all of of snugged up together in the tent.
When we had bad thunder and lightning storms with the power out, my kids wanted to sleep in my bed. I let them. Being divorced, I didn't have a man in the bed so why not? The next night they were fine and snoring in their own rooms.

My point is, I know you can't stand a night without your little cherub, but it will be harder on you than it is on him. Kids really can survive and do quite well without their parents for a night or two.
As I got older, I spent entire summers with my grandparents, one of them 3,000 miles away.

You don't stop loving your child if you aren't with him 24 hours a day.
If you have people you can seriously trust to watch him, let him go and let yourself go.
My kids used to help me pick out what I would wear, right down to accessories. They helped me pack.
They were going to grandma's house which was SUPER fun and they knew we would bring presents home.
They didn't mind.

There were plenty of family oriented business excursions as well, so they never felt left out of everything.

There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping unless that's the ONLY way your child can sleep. That's a dependence that's not necessary if you ever want him to sleep in a different situation and be able to cope with it.

I think your little guy will be fine but you might want to switch up his sleeping arrangements.

Just my opinion.

My girls are both almost 5 years old. The first and only time they have spent a night away from me (other than the first 17 days they were in the NICU) was a night over Christmas break. I needed a break. I have since needed a break again, but the girls don't want to spen the night at daddy's/mamaw's house and I am not going to make them until I have to. (when the divorce is final) Of course, I also think he is the kind of guy who will only actually get them for an afternoon then bring them home.
I know they would be safe with a friend of mine and her daughter that my girls are friends with, but none of the three of them have ever mentioned sleeping over at the others house. Maybe this summer some, before they all start kindergarten...

We left our firstborn with my parents when he was only 4 weeks old. I know, crazy! My husband had a free trip for both of us through work, and we couldn't pass it up, especially since my parents were available to keep our son.

With our second son, I can't remember exactly how old he was, but I know it was before he turned a year old. I love to travel, and travel with friends, with my husband, and we also travel as a family. I'm sure I traveled several times that first year, with and without the boys.