Just a Poll Sexist Toys or Gender Nuetral Which Ever Way You Want to Phrase It

I dont see alot of withholding from the girls, girls are allowed to(socially accepted) play with boy stuff as well as girl stuff. Boys get the bad version of this. I think children copy their parents not look for pink or blue.A girl will want to be like mommy, and a boy like daddy. Its not stereotyping, or gender casting, its nature. NOT nurture. If a little boy had a daddy that was a chef he would be more likely to want a play kitchen, and plastic food. If a little girl had a mommy who was an architect she would probably want legos. I dont know any parents that buy their kids what they think they should play with rather than what they naturally gravitate towards.

Also maybe im old school but Men and women are for the most part different, with different drives and talents that are not seasoned within them but God given. There are people who vary, and these people come to this conclusion on their own, and with loving parents it will be an easy thing to do.

It shows you we haven't progressed much in sterotyping, right? Even on line, you have to pick Boy or Girl to look at toys! They are toys! Why aren't they classified as construction toys, dramatic play toys, science toys, etc. Of course, I have the opposite problem. My husband's family seems to think it is cool for their daughters not to play with dolls. They proudly proclaim that their girls don't like dolls, to the point where I have grand daughters who say, I don't think my parents would allow me to have that. Imagine a world where they were all just toys and all choices were available to children (and their parents) without all the pre-conceived notions. I wonder how many generations we are away from that.

I have found with my son, the toy stereotypes are real. He has a doll, and other "girl" toys. (mostly, because we got all our toys free, from others! But, we really don't care!) Someone gave us a bag with girl and boy toys and he goes for the trucks, balls, and other "boy" toys first. He has absolutely zero interest, in the girl toys. I think companies started making gender specific toys, because boys and girls tend to have different ways of playing. I'm not sure a whole lot of boys were excited by and satisfied by dolls and what not. In the beginning, I think they were created to fill a void, and we've added our own stereotypes to that. It's our culture, that made it weird for a boy to play with girl toys. However, if you took a boy that was totally protected from gender stereotypes, I think the majority of the time, they would still choose toys geared for boys. This is just my theory.

Society has established "gender roles" -- these roles are ingrained on kids through toys, tv, schools, etc. The idea of gender roles exists in even tribal cultures - everyone knows their "role" and the idea is that it helps society move along smoothly.

Gender roles fascinate me because they can help but also greatly hinder a society. They create stereotypes and stigmas and its very hard to go against your assigned gender role, change to society is slow and gradual. Men being taught not to cry, don't be a sissy, walk it off, don't talk about your feelings -- raised believing they have to be providers and that its weird for a man to want to be a stay at home Dad. Women being made to feel like they should do all the housework, cook, majority childcare. As you said these ideas are pushed from childhood through everything... I don't see the Toy Kitchens in the "boy" section. There are a lot of studies about why girls don't do as well in math and science and the short answer is they aren't EXPECTED to.

It's really amazing how much society and culture can affect our kids and adults and how much static we get from our peers for going against the norms.

So, to your question - yes, assigning gender to toys is a form of sexism. Looking at why is a lifetime worth of research and study :)

I agree! My daughter (10 yrs old) never got into Barbie or baby dolls. She wanted hot wheels and stuff like that!! My son who is 4 played and took care of a baby doll someone bought my daughter better than she ever played with it!! My son loves Littlest Pet Shops and would go into my daughter's room and play with hers so we started buying him his own. Now they play with them together!! Heck right now on my back room floor, my son has all of his Geo Trax put together and the Pet Shops are riding in the trains!!! Any of the boys my daughter is friends with say she can throw and catch a football better than them!! Where she learned that from I have no clue cause I hate football!!!

Our kids only learn what we teach them that is or isn't acceptable in life-boy/girl, race, marriage, religion, etc. I say we just teach our kids to respect themselves and others no matter what sex they are, what religion they choose, what race they are or any of that! It doesn't matter because in the end, we all bleed just the same!

S.

I don't have much to add, the ladies below covered most of what I would say on this subject. Kudos to you mama, for being so aware of the reality of commercialism and they way it trys to manipulate us. How lucky your son is to have you raising him in such an accepting, non-biased, way. IMO, as parents it is our job to raise our children up to be who THEY are, not who we want them to be. It seems you are doing just that! :)

I don't believe these differences are biological. From the time they are babies, boys and girls see the world in pink and blue, and even the most enlightened parents are bound to send messages about gendered behavior (not to mention everyone else in society). Books are gendered, and let's not even talk about TV!

Anyway, I almost never shop in Toys R Us because they are the worst. Yes, you might have some clearly gendered aisles in Target, but at Toys R Us the whole store is divided into girl and boy with the most offensive, plastic-y toys to choose from.

For me, it's not just about boys learning to nurture though or girls learning that they can be good in math and science, it's about the identities and goals they will form. Almost every girl toy (once they get to a certain age) is about appearance. The goal for females is to look good. For boys, the vast majority of toys are about violence. I wouldn't want to shop in the boy aisle for my daughters either because those toys are equally heinous, just in another way. As someone who values peace and equality, I don't see why our toys have to be such trash. If you shop in a toy store in Germany, their toys, games, and puzzles are so wonderful--they aren't designed just to grab the kids' eyes and sell them something cheap and frivolous, they are designed to engage children and to last.

Anyway, I can clearly get caught up in this rant, but I think it's just one small indicator of what our society values. Merry Christmas, huh??

Edit: Also, though we have a drive for survival (like the cavemen), we also have a drive for teamwork (can't take down the woolly mammoth alone), and communication (language), and innovation (tool making), otherwise people wouldn't have developed the society we have today! :)

the ladies are right. think how recently in human development we have shifted towards a "be who you are and that's ok" attitude. well - those of us who have i mean. humans have been around for millenia, that's how long these stereotypes and roles have had to be ingrained in our dna. we're really going against nature in a way. it's just that at this point in history the men don't HAVE to be big brawny conquerers or hunters. and the women don't HAVE to stay at home doing the cooking and cleaning. think how fortunate we are to be able to open up this new gender neutral thought process to our children. and, i like to think, how much happier we could be. wouldn't it be great if kids/people could do what they WANT and be HAPPY in life. instead of being pigeonholed into a gender role like so many generations before. we are living in a great time.

k here's the thing. In general boys are hard wired to like things like guns, cars , action figures etc.
These things have a distinct connection to survival. When our first ancestors came out of the cave the men did the hunting with the spears because in general genetically men are stronger than women, thats just how their muscle mass builds, It builds bigger faster.
And girls are born hard wired to gravitate towards dolls , cooking , etc . These things have a direct connection to nurturing. Females have a nurturing instinct that males don't generally have. Women in the stone age were the caretakers because they weren't strong enough to bring in the big kills for food. Survival of the species depended on these roles.
It takes along time to break out of these genetically embedded roles.
You will see more and more of a swap of these roles because modern conveniences have allowed for this to happen.

And if you don't stereotypically divide the store in your own mind , in general the like toys are with the like toys. You don't generally see someone playing with a baby doll and an accessory for a little action figure together. The baby stuff is with the babies. the action figures are with other action figures. the barbies are with the barbie stuff. Most stores are laid out pretty logically.

edited to add:
Sorry ladies but math and science has nothing to do with baby dolls or action figures.

good article on this very thing.
http://www.tertia.org/so_close/2006/02/nature_vs_nurtu.html

I agree wholeheartedly with the first answer, but I do also think there is some merit to the idea that boys and girls are more inclined (in varying degrees) to play with certain types of toys than others. So-called "boy" toys are in the boy aisle because mostly boys want to play with them. Same with toys for girls. This is not to say that boys can't be nurturing and vice versa but think about the kids you know - the generalizations probably fit. I think the problem is less the way the toys are grouped but more the negativity faced by children, especially boys, whose interests lie outside the gender norm. If we skipped the negative labels and got over the discrimination against LGBT, the world would be a happier place.

(This is coming from a mom with (almost) a mechanical engineering degree whose son and daughter both play with tools and dinosaurs AND baby dolls and dress-up.)

I haven't read the other question yet, I did see it though.

We still live in an era where the notion when a boy plays with a doll it will make him a sissy is all too real, or so some they think. These same people will rough house more with a boy, tell him to "suck It up" and don't cry, push them towards typical "boy" careers. All this while raising a daughter to serve the man. I speak from experience.

It is true that boys and girls are wired differently. At 2 we gave my oldest a toy kitchen with the utensils. He immediately pretended to beat everything in sight with his new spoon as if it were a hammer. My daughter, a typical girl, got her kitchen set at 18 mos and went about making tea and "feeding" the dog. It amazed me how with one toy the two were so different.

I have four children. We have given my oldest a Molly American Girl Doll at 8 for Christmas. He played with her for over a year. He also had Lego's, trucks, and GI Joe's. My girls always get tools for their toolboxes and lures or their fishing tackles boxes in their stockings.

I think the best toys right now are actually the small adventure dolls in the boy aisle. THey are the size of a Polly Pocket but they are men and have dogs, camping equipment and boats. THey are so cool. we call them boy POllys. My youngest son loves his and he is 9. My 13 yo would take the boy Polies and those were the husbands for her Polly Pockets. They also have a ROdeo set with bulls for the Pollys to ride on. And the girl Pollys fit the boy polly equipment, but they are sold in different aisles.

We have always have to defend our choice of Chirstmas gifts to my inlaws. They can't understand why the boys get dolls and the girls tackle. It is this attitude that is still so pervasive in our society today. I always say C turned out pretty fine didn't he, and he had that Molly doll.

I completely agree with you. It's a frustrating issue that in my opinion should be a non-issue!

My best friend's husband flipped out when I bought their son a babydoll.
He actually believed it would make the boy effeminate and gay, which is insane to me. The boy had to play with babies at our house.
His father is insecure and was bullied so he doesn't want his boy to have anything about him for kids to pick on.
He also plays sports year round and despite being the smallest kid in his class, he is great at sports.