Joint Party for Two 7 Year Old Boys - One Gift or Two?

Updated on March 11, 2008
J.S. asks from Dallas, TX
14 answers

We are having a 7th birthday party for my son and a classmate. How do we phrase on the invitations that guest do not need to bring presents to both boys? Most of the children who will be invited know both boys and we don't want them to feel obligated to bring two gifts. If it was my choice it would be a "no gifts, please" party...but the boys aren't too excited about that idea. We figured we could minimize the gifts by having the guests bring only one...and splitting up the gifts that don't have specific names on them. Thanks so much for your help!

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

If I were a guest coming to this party & knew both of the boys I would bring two gifts. Couldn't you just leave it up to the guest? That's a tough one. Good luck

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

I have 3 boys and way too many toys. We started a book exchange in place of gifts. Everyone brings a new wrapped book and places it in a basket, when the children leave the party everyone leaves with a present (book) to open that way everyone recieves a book instead of a goody bag. Isn't reading the most important thing our children need to be learning at this age? The boys are not left out because after the party we will go to the toy store and pick out the gifts they really want instead of a multitude of gifts they really don't want or need. Hope this helps

2 moms found this helpful

D.H.

answers from Dallas on

J.,
We had a combined birthday party for my daughter and one of her friends ( we live in Flower Mound and her friend lives in Plano). Some of the people knew both girls and many did not. We handed out regular dual party invitations to those that knew both kids and handed out regular party invitations to those that knew just one of the girls. (First invitation said Julianna and Avery's 4th birthday party and second invitation said Avery's 4th birthday party or Julianna's 4th birthday party) We figured that those that knew both kids would go to both parties if they were scheduled seperately and bring each a present normally. We did not open presents at the party. There were no problems and everyone had a blast!
Hope that helps!
D.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Call me crazy, but why would you do that to them? My brother and I had birthdays celebratiosn together and I can't imagine only one gift for the two of us from each person. I'm not materialistic at all, but when you host a child's birthday party, they get gifts. That's just part of it.

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N.K.

answers from Dallas on

it's such a special doy for BOTH boys - if you plan on having a party for both - the people that come expect to bring a gift for both boys ----that's what's right. otherwise don't combine the parties. - that would just be mean to have them split the gifts.

if each parent were to have seperate parties,,,,,,both children would get gifts... the people that are coming will be thankful that you are not taking up two saturdays for them - so bringing two gifts should be no problem ----

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

I don't think it is a big deal for two people to share a birthday party and both receive gifts.

I have twins and that is how it's gone for years.

Why not just let people decide for themselves?

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

I believe if you split the gifts up the boys may have conflicts. Meaning one may wish they got something the other one didn't or think that specific gift should have been for him and not the other one. If anything, I would suggest sealed envelopes with money or GIFT CARDS! You can never go wrong with them. Also, I would have maybe a drop box for each birthday boy to seperate the two.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

We've been to several birthday parties recently where the gifts that are brought are donated to a children's hospital or charity. The kids really seemed to like the idea of picking out a gift for a child who was in need. I liked the idea above about no gifts and then taking the child out to purchase something they really want or need. You could set a dollar amount so that expectations could be managed.

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

Having everyone only bring one gift & let the boys divide them up at the end of the day is one of those ideas that sounds great in theory, but in practice...it has disaster written all over it. Personally , I would not be offended at bringing 2 gifts. (aren't people so easily offended nowadays?) I would just put a dollar limit on the invitation, say no more than $10 per gift, if you're concerned about guests being put on the spot.

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R.W.

answers from Dallas on

We did a combo b-day party this year for my son and his friend. We made 3 invitations; 1 for the guests we were personally inviting, 1 for the guests the other family was personally inviting and one for the guests who were invited by both. That way, the guests who didn't know both of the b-day boys were not obligated to bring 2 presents but those who knew both were happy to bring 2 presents. If they are on a budget, they could just bring a 2 smaller gifts. If you had seperate b-day parties, they would have brought a gift to each party. I have tried having b-day parties before where we request that guests do not bring gifts but pretty much everyone brings one anyway.

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D.P.

answers from Dallas on

hi J.
have you talked to the boys about doing something like having all the guest bring a donation to an animal shelter? or maybe another charitable organization?
then there are no gifts to split up, if it's explained to the boys how the shelters need things like blankets etc, or even take the boys to a shelter, or whatever charitable org. to see what it's all about, and also explain to the boys how you, their parents, will be giving them gifts as well as the fact that they are so fortunate to have all the things they have, would they be more inclined to not want gifts for themselves?

just a thought.........

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Your only options are to say nothing on the invitation (and likely receive 2 gifts) or to specifically request "no gifts". Addressing the issue in any other way is awkward at best, but mostly presumptuous.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

My best friend and I used to share birthday parties and no one ever balked at bringing two gifts. Or people that just knew her (or relatives of hers) just bought for her, and I never thought twice about it, and vice versa. I agree with the suggestion to not specify what gifts to bring, and just let guests do what they feel is best for them.

What if everyone brings a gift with one boy's name on it because that's who they know best? What does the other child get?

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

I've been to several dual birthday parties and my daughter shared a party with a friend as well. I wouldn't specify one gift or two. You don't want one child to get more than the other. Plus, their friends like buying a gift for a specific child's interest, so splitting up the gifts might offend someone. For those that know both boys they'll have no problem buying a gift for each. They can reduce the amount they spend on each if money is an issue. I've even been invited to a birthday party celebrating 3 classmates and didn't have issues bringing 3 gifts.

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