JFF -Vacations - Husband and Wife - Together/separate

We have a very limited budget so we do one family vacation a year. I have 5 weeks of vacation and never get to use all of it but most of it is used to cover childcare on school vacation weeks. My husband has no paid time off at all so our week together in the summer is the only time off that he takes.

If we had more money I could definitely see separate vacations. My husband is a great vacation planner so I enjoy what he puts together but we have very different interests. He would never want to go to Italy to shop and visit museums. I would never want to spend any time, ever, for any reason, in an RV.

We sometimes do solo mini getaways but those are usually for a specific reason (visiting an out of town friend or relative to celebrate or do something when it's not feasible or appropriate to drag the whole family along).

2 moms found this helpful

I go away with my kids a lot because I also get 5 weeks of vacation time each year. My husband gets 2. So if he needs to save his time for when we need him to come, that's what he does. I also don't mind traveling with my kids alone and sometimes really enjoy it. That's normally to see my family or spend time with them though. Most of my family lives 5 minutes away, so it's not like my husband doesn't see them too.

I think it's okay to do things alone and together. I want to start a girls retreat and a boys retreat for a weekend every year too. My husband and the boys can go golfing and my daughter and I can go to a spa. I think it'd be great!

1 mom found this helpful

My husband has his annual 4 day golf trip to the desert, with his brothers and buddies, and sometimes he'll take another guy weekend here and there, usually golf related.
I take a girl's weekend about once a year, but I'm trying to do it more often, like twice a year, it is SO much fun! I return rested, rejuvenated and in a much better mood, so my family approves :)
My husband and I have also traveled over the years without the kids, which is FANTASTIC because you forget what it's like to be a couple, you know? And we have both taken kids on trips without the other (usually me, not him) sometimes one on one.
Of course we take regular family vacations all together too. Our last one was in Hawaii and our son flew out from college and met us there, which was different. It was the first time we weren't all on the same plane!
We like to travel, can you tell? :)
ETA: we've been married almost 20 years, kids are 19, 16 and 13

1 mom found this helpful

We've done both; together & not together. But vacation funds are limited so we don't go on very many, maybe every 2 years. We just all went to Disney World for 9 days and it was wonderful. That will be the last vacation for a while.

I am not opposed to taking vacations without family or spouse, in fact I think it is very healthy for everyone including the kids. It helps us to remember how to appreciate our loved ones more.

We go away together.

My husband travels a lot for business and will work in a pleasure trip for a day or 2 if he's at a great golf resort or something.

I go to the beach in Miami by myself and chill out.

We think nothing of separate trips and enjoy our time to just be alone for a few days doing our own thing.

We've been together 25 yrs. I don't know how common it is but I say whatever works for someone, do it.

we do some together and some separate - and we only do about 1 vacation per year (total) so my husband does not take one every year. One thing is he does not enjoy camping or outdoor activities like i and my family do - so when we do the float trips or the camping trips, he doesn't always go. "I" am of the opinion that we should do SOMETHING each year - even if it's a long weekend at the lake - for mental health. he is a lot cheaper than i am and doesn't believe we should spend the money. so sometimes he chooses not to go if it's not something he's interested in, therefore also saving some money in the process, then we're both happy. heck, one time he was just starting a new job, and didn't feel it was right for him to take a week off without pay (no pto), so my son and I drove to florida (from kansas) with my mom, to visit HIS family.

bottom line, each family is different. do what works for you. don't worry about what we do :)

We typically take 2 week-long vacations as a family each year (July and December) and each take one weekend trip with our friends. One couple owns a beautiful home in the Adirondacks, so the men go in June for a weekend of golfing and fishing and the women go in October for outlet shopping and hiking. We would love to get away for a weekend alone, but I do not have family locally to watch the kiddos and a weekend babysitter would cost a fortune!

When our children are older, my sisters and I would like to take a trip with our mom without the kids and men. All of the kids are little right now (5 under 4), so that won't happen for some time. We're hoping to plan it for my mom's 65th birthday (7 years from now). We'll see!

We've been married 17 years and have two kids, 7 & 10. My husband only has two weeks off in the summer, so we will go on a family vacation while he is off work. The rest of the summer the kids and I will vacation without him. I usually go away for one weekend with my friends and the kids stay home with him. He never goes anywhere alone because he would rather just stay home. I really enjoy the vacations without him because I don't feel as though I need to "keep him company". I can sit and read while the kids play. By vacations I mean camping or hotel stay within a days drive from home, not flying across the country or internationally. We would probably do a big vacation like that as a family.

Vacation, what's that?

Technically, my husband is supposed to get 5 wks of vacation, but considering that his pay is production-based, he only takes about 1 wk of it each year, and only because I FORCE him to do it so we can go visit his parents in California, or my parents in Minnesota.

My husband gets about 6 weeks. We take a 7-10 day family vaca each year. Maybe a few long weekend trips. He also uses about a week for golf.
Next year I am going to take some time to visit my cousin.
The rest of the days are for holidays, making a long weekend, doing stuff at the house etc.
(My mom & stepfather always vacationed together--they were empty nesters.)
I think whatever works best for you at the time is the right way to go!

We have only been able to afford one 'vacation' in the time we have been together... and that was also a family emergency. :/ (We found out that my grandpa was dying, and decided that it would be far better to fly home while he was still with us right then, than to wait for him to actually die and fly home for the funeral... some vacation!)

IF we could only afford ONE vacation a year, I would expect it to be a family event.

IF we could afford two or more vacations a year, I would expect at least one to be a family thing, and the rest would be played by ear.

That said, I DO think it's healthy for couples to spend time apart from each other every once in a while... but it doesn't need to be a full-fledged vacation... You (or hubby) can go camping, spend a weekend at a local hotel, spend the weekend in a nearby tourist spot... etc with their own group of friends... there is really no need to spend a ton of money on a full-out vacation when only one family member gets to enjoy it... unless you have enough extra cash floating around that it doesn't detract from the rest of the family. (That's just my opinion though, and how I would feel if we were in the position to make those decisions...)

My Husband once went on a vacation with my daughter. My son & I did not go, because (1) I did not want to go and it was expensive enough just for them two to go, and (2) My son was too young at the time, to take a trip that was out of the country and for a plane ride length that was 24 hours including layovers.
We were all fine with that.
They were gone 2 weeks.

Then, we don't often go on "vacation." Its just a budget thing.
But we have gone to local stay overs at our local hotels. And that being with the whole family. For a few days.

How people go on vacations, is up to them, and a personal thing.

We've been happily married for 18 years, and we have two boys, 8 and 14.

We take one week-long vacation as a family each year. In addition to that, I travel with friends from time to time, and sometimes I take the boys on short trips while my husband is working. I'm a teacher, so I get more time off than my husband.

Once in awhile my husband goes on trips without me. He's gone to the Superbowl a couple of times with friends, and he took our oldest son skiing last year while I stayed home with our youngest.

I LOVE to travel, and I have more opportunities because of my job, so I travel more than my husband. We love traveling together, but he doesn't mind when I travel without him. It makes it so nice when we are together again. :)

I don't think it would ever occur to us to go on separate vacations, honestly. We'd miss each other like crazy.

There have been times when he was really busy with work, that I went out to visit family or something so I wasn't bored and we were out of his hair. That was ok, but neither of us likes to go to bed w/out the other.

Going someplace really cool alone doesn't appeal to me. He's my best friend and still the first person I'd rather experience things with.

=)

Enjoy your vacation - however you choose to spend it!

Vacation? What's that? lol actually the last time we went on a vacation that was a vacation and not work related was quite a few years ago, well that was together. My husband went up to Alaska with his dad, my dad and one of my dad's friends to go fishing. I went to Nevada with a few friends for a weekend and had a great time. Last time my husband and I went somewhere together I was so pissed off by the time we got home I said I would never travel with him again. We will do seperate vacations and keep our marriage in tact that way.