JFF Because We Need It :) from the Mouthes of Babes...

My son has been going through a chivalrous stage and likes to open my car door for me. About a year ago, my son was six at the time, opened my car door, swept his hand out with a flourish and said, "There you go, my damn lady!" It took EVERYTHING I had in me not to laugh so I didn't make him feel bad. He did later find out that "madame" was the correct word choice! :)

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too funny :-) these stories made my afternoon!
My DS is 21 months old .....my FILs name is Richard - Well everyone calls him Dick, MIL calls him Dickie ~ so when they were watching him one afternoon about two months ago instead of calling him Papa like he always has he started calling him 'Dickie' my MIL almost peed her pants !! he's up at the top of the stairs yelling for Dickie !. LMAO

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I know Not respectful....My daughter comes running into my room to try to sneak into our bed and sleep there before my DH crawls into bed...She proceeds to say: Quick cover me up I don't want the Fart Bag to find me" meaning her Daddy....I almost fell out of the bed LMAO.......

We also have to change the channels because a male enhancement commercial that comes on both my three year old and 5 year old start getting down on their knees saying do you need more passion for the one you love...OMG.

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LOL Red! My 2 year old says, "Fruck" and "Fwuck" (cringe) for truck! We tense up every time he starts saying it around other people because it REALLY sounds like something else!

My 5 year old has a few very memorable things that have come out of his mouth, but the latest (and I think the best) has to be from last week. We were talking about presidents of the U.S. and he referred to " 'ol Hammerhead Lincoln." I just died laughing! I asked him, "Do you mean Abraham Lincoln?" and he told me, "Oh, I thought it was Hammerhead." Given his obsession with sharks and the fact that I can kind of hear it -I could see where he may have made that mistake. We're still laughing about it though!

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My awesome kids use the term mud butt if they need help in the bathroom after going #2 which was always used in the house and one day we were in a store and my son (who was 3 at the time) had to go to the bathroom so i go in and he was in his own stall while I waited for him to finish and he kept going on about how stinky it was going to be and it was def going to be mud butt. The lady in the stall next to us was trying her hardest not to laugh.

Now my son at age 6, we just went to the ocean last week for spring break and a wave came up and hit him in the stomach and he yells "i've never felt so alive"

My son and his t-ball friend (age 4) were arguing about how to say the color yellow. I just heard "its Lellow" No its not its "wello" I thought it was funny.

My daughter came out talking extremely well except for she is obsessed with Justin Beaver (Bieber) I think that one is pretty funny.

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One time me and my oldest were riding in the car. I had just picked her up from her sitter's house. I said "You're cute." She said, "No, I'm dangerous."

The other day my daughters, 7 and 3, were playing loudly in the bedroom. I walked down the hall and stood at their closed bedroom door to listen to what they were doing. Out of the blue they start singing, "Nationwide is on your side!"

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My husband injured his back and had to take a few days off work. He mostly sat on the couch with a heating pad on his lower back. A few days later, my son (2 years) went and got the heating pad and put it behind him as he sat on the couch where my hubby had been. I asked him what he was doing and he said "Mommy, my bass hurts"!

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LOVED daddy a egg. Ha!

My son: he didn't call Santa by name until he was 3. The first two years, his name was "Ho". And anyone with a longish white beard was "Ho". We went to a motorcycle rally one time, and an older biker couple walked past. He pointed at the couple and said "Mommy look! HO!" They turned around a little "concerned".....I had to scramble to explain before the confusion caused an issue. (les oops!)

My cousin couldn't find a babysitter to watch her 2 year old daughter, but was intent on getting out, so she brought the little girl with them.....on a first date??? (Her decisions have ALWAYS been questionable). They went to dinner, and then were walking around the mall killing time before a movie, and they stopped at the Victoria's Secret window. Her daughter pointed to the mannequins who were modeling thongs and tops, and said, "Mommy what's THAT?" She was like "panties" and she sat for a moment and then said "Mommy, your butt's way too big for that. Let's go".

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My most favorite one as of recent happened a few months ago. One morning I was getting dressed while my 4 year old son laid on my bed and watched TV. I placed my bra on the bed (not noticing it was right in front of him) and he says, "Mommy please move your boobs. They are in my way." I almost died from laughter right there on the spot! :)

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My daughter was in the bathroom at a restrurant with me and said - mommy, you have a fat tummy. What's all that scribble scrap? She was looking at my postprenancy, stretch marked stomach! That was a long walk past those giglling women.

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My son two years ago did a scrapbook for the fair on our trip to South Dakota and included the list of words he made to tease his younger brother on the trip. The list was words his 5 year old brother mispronounced...the list is what earned him a merit award. It included:

Furry Dogs - Prairie Dogs
Badgrounds - Badlands
Eating Machine - Vending Machine
Ninjer - Ninja

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My favorite though is the following story:

My 7 year old (at the time) had been told the facts of life months earlier (he was getting some serious misinformation on the bus so we set him straight). He also knew that cats are a promiscuous sort that can be bred by numerous daddies. We went over to my friend's house who had a batch of kittens - 3 short haired orange ones, a grey one, a long haired black one, and a medium haired tiger. He looked me straight in the eye, giggled and said "That must have been one wild night in the barn."

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the car ride this week

my 4 year old

emmy: mommy do carnivoires eat leaves sometimes ...no omnivoires eat everything...
emmy:ohh so they even eat houses....
me:no emmy no animals eat houses....
emmy:umm mommy yes they do..they're called termites!

Touche! score one for 4 year old

next question same car ride

emmy: so I know people love eachother to have a baby but how does it happen
me: stumble arround explain boys have seeds girls have eggs from the time they're born and that when 2 people love eachother the ingredients combine and grow a baby
emmy: umm mommy i have imprtant news...me and max love eachother so I think we're having a baby!

ughhhhhhhhh next valid true explanation and more stumbling aronud and i think shes good..haha

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My 2 year old granddaughter when squatting down to pick something up said "oops booty crack showing"- almost wet my pants I laughed so hard. Also when I told her I was her Aunt Sam's mommy she said "NO you're granny" .

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My 13 year old wanted that next year when the toddler will say when she goes to Santa picture.
So now when you ask my toddler: "What you want for Christmas?" She replies:"Word Please (meaning peace)"
I can't wait to fill that on Christmas.

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I have two favorites about my children, and they happen to be my favorite things in the world. My olders daughters first smile is one of them, it was with intention and very hard to get. My second one is my younger daughters laugh, its a cackle, like a little tiny witch that smokes. Its HILARIOUS.

Other than that i love the words my oldest would make up and that forever became what we( as a family) would call it

fart--booty toot
burp----burpy mouth
lotion---hand shands

shes 8 now and we still say these---

my youngest incorporated her own words into our speech as well

ice cream is now "dymean"
avocados are now "have a cados"
lollypops are now "lillypops" (her name is lilly)

i wonder which of these nicknames for these things we will keep

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There are a lot of memorable things that my kids have said (which I really need to start writing down before I forget them). One is when my daughter was about three or four and she was describing her daddy's was of fixing the car seat (her front-facing one sometimes needed to be readjusted). "First you put it in, then you shake it around, then you say f***, then you put it back in and shake it, and then it's fixed and I can get in!" I had to have a talk with my husband about swearing in front of the kids. :-)

Although a couple of weeks ago, my son said "Dammit!" I said, "Don't say that, it's a bad word!" He thought for a moment and said "Oh, so we can only say them in the car, right?" I guess I do have to watch out for swearing when I'm driving.

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My girl went through a phase where any time I asked her to do something (brush your teeth, get in bed, pick up the cup) she'd say "mommy, not do that me!" I'd ask, "Not do what to you?" And she'd say "Nothing!" It was frustrating to hear her say no, but hilarious the amount of emphasis and determination she put into it!

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I don't know about cutest, but here are a few of the funny things my kids have said in the recent past.

My three year old was preforming a magic trick where what she was holding disappeared. "Aba dabba! Now it's all gone, Aba Dabba," and she threw her toy behind her.

I said to her, "Do you know what whales eat?" She said, "Yes! Garbage! And bugs!! And Angry Guys!!"

I said, "You're a silly Goose." She said, "No, I'm a silly PUMPKIN!".

My two year old watched Totoro for the first time. She loved the cat bus and decided to reenact the scene, so she ran around the house (naked, as usual) yelling, "Me Titty Bus, me a Titty Bus Mama!" Then she stopped, put her hands on her head with her finger pointing out from her eyes (they were headlights) and said, "meeeeoooow, see Mama, Titty Bus!!!

While at the park, I said to another little girl, "Could you please introduce me to your Folks?" My 2 year old daughter is in a parroting phase. I will say something and she will repeat it to me as a question. So she says, "F*cks? You want to meet her F*cks? F*cks!!! Mama? F*CKS?!!!!" I can only imagine what the other parents thought, since they did not know she was trying to say folks!

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well, my son is only 8mths but my darling nephew has made me crack up on many occasions.
one of his first words were ball and he would call it out when he would see them, including when he was eating his peas...."Mmmmm Balls!!"
also while at his grandmothers house he would yell at the golfers, "FOUR!"
kids! how could you not love them soo much!! I cant wait for my little guy to start really talking!

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My just turned 3 year old had just finished unrolling a bunch of paper towels and approached the family dog (Plato). Daddy asked him what he was doing and he replied "I'm wiping off Plato because he's full of dog hair!"

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Well...this is tough. I have an 8 yo boy that wows me daily with his thought processes.

As for surprisiing, I would say this. The car in front of us at the school drop off curb had a kid in the passenger seat and the kid (boy I think) leaned over to kiss/hug his mom before exiting the car. Out of the blue, my son says "Whoooooa, look at the action in THAT car!"

Same trip to school he asked me if I thought I could forgive Adolf Hitler. I replied it would be very hard to do that. Then he asked "Does God forgive him?"

He also asked me what was the name of the "level" after Heaven.
:)

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My first born used to call shampoo - shampoop. Simple but so cute. Ny next calls ear muffs - ear muffins.

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When my son was 6-- " mom, of course daddy is older than you because HE is taller and has a moustache ".

( if men had beards then he thought they were REALLY old ) hehehehe

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One morning i was running late and told my son to hurry up after a few times of telling him this he said to me "gosh mommy stop bi**hing at me!" i almost hit the ground trying not to laugh! and another time we were flying to visit family and while in the cloud he asked me "momma is this heaven?" i told him yes and he then asked "momma do you think i could meet michael jackson? vance told me he took to much medicine and hes here..." i couldnt stop laughing

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I remember a game I used to play with my little brother. We would point out vehicles on the road, and ask him what they were. So we would say 'what's that one?' and he would tell us 'Car, Fruck (lol), van, twain, or twracter' One time we were driving down the road, and I pointed out a truck, and asked him what it was. He says 'Fruck!' I told him 'Noooooo, it's a tractor!' just messing around. He argued back that it was a fruck. We argued back and forth until he finally looks at me with tears in his eye, and says in this really sad voice 'Fruuuuck....' At that point I had to give in and tell him he was right. I felt bad for a minute, until he started laughing at me. Little twerp sure knows how to get his way!!!

My little cousin, when she was younger was always called 'princess'. One day my grandma said to her 'You are such a doll!' to which my cousin replies (hands on her hips) "Grandma! I am NOT a DOLL! I am a PRINCESS!!!" LOL!

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my oldest was about 4 and we were driving with my sister they were spelling words- "spell Cat" and she would spell Cat "spell mom" she would spell mom " okay spell Spit on the car and the car stays spitted on" she actually started spelling when I had to pull over because I was laughing so hard

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My son's not talking yet (well squables here and ther) but he always seems to pipe in at the right moment and either give my dad-who just suggested a rather dumb idea- a raspberry. Or when I asked him questions, he would make noises like Meh or a mumble that sounded like maybe.

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