Is This Normal for a Little Boy?

Updated on October 27, 2011
L.F. asks from Cartersville, GA
31 answers

My 1 1/2 yr old son has a 4 yr old big sister. She has a lot of girlie things all around the house like barbies, dolls, dress up clothes, etc. Anyway, my son tries to put on her clothes and for the first time the other day, her high heel shoes. He also loves her baby dolls. He sometimes will carry one around for quite awhile. He is still very little so I'm not to worried but more curious if this is just what boys do when girlie stuff is around. I mean he loves trucks and boy stuff too. I have to admit it is pretty cute when he holds the dolls and tried on the shoes. My husband on the other hand, not so much! I don't know if I need to redirect him when he starts playing with the girl stuff?

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So What Happened?

@momintheboro, I thought some moms would give me a hard time for not being pc. I think some have except more to my husband. I appreciate everyone's responses even if I don't totally agree with everyone. Like I said I'm not worried just curious. It's funny though, since I asked this question he hasn't really been playing with his sister's stuff as much. Maybe he is trying to prove he's a tough guy. Ha! Thanks again, I hope like some of you said, he will be a good daddy since he does like holding the babies!

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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3 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Dover on

Yup, this is what boys do....because this is what kids do. There are no "boy" or "girl" toys. There are simply toys. High heeled shoes are fun (but may be unsafe at his age) because they make you taller. Dolls are great for boys because they teach gentleness, caring, compassion. Don't redirect him. He will go his own way as he gets older and find things that interest him. They may be the same things and that's ok, too.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Normal; men tend to freak out. He's copying the other people in his home. Don't bother re-directing, he'll play with whatever.

My son likes to wear my heels (1.5") because he can stomp and they are LOUD - daddy's shoes are quiet and boring LOL!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Yup. TOTALLY normal.

Also remember, in other cultures, men wore makeup, purses, earrings, heels, etc... and these were some of the "manliest" men around (we're talking pharohs, greek army, aztecs, picts, indians, vikings, etc.).

In nearly every other time period in the history of the world men bejewled themselves, and were just as colorful peacocks as women were.

What makes ONE pair of high heeled boots "girly" and another pair of high heeled boots -like cowboy boots- "manly" is PURELY CULTURE. As in learned gender bias. Until those biases are learned... little boys are just as into sparkly things as little girls and warrior kings of years gone by.

Same token... a little boy with no dolls will "father" his other toys (trucks, bears, etc.). Holding them, kissing them at 'bedtime', and try to copy the nurturing you and others show HIM, the same way a girl does with a human shaped baby.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

There is no such thing as "girl toys" and "boy toys." There are just toys.

Would you be upset if your daughter carried a Hot Wheels around? I'm going to bet the answer is no. So why be upset if your son wants to carry a doll?

4 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Normal.
(Both your son's play AND your husband's reaction.)
Why does this bother men so much? Weird!

4 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

VERY NORMAL. Our son just loved girly dress up and wearing this frilly skirt up until he was age 4. Both my husband and I just told him he was cute and let him enjoy it. He outgrew it and now at age 7 he would never dream of putting on a skirt. In fact, he is horrified if I tell him he used to do this. hee hee!

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Totally normal. Let him play.

When my son was little he had a pretend grill. I mentioned to his great grandmother that we needed some dishes for the grill. She brought him a tea set with pink roses and trim. He loved that tea set! I remember our neighbor's look of concern. When I was pregnant he said he wanted his own baby. When his sister got dress up shoes for her second birthday, he wore them too. They are just curious. It's no different than when you go to a friends house who has a baby and your four year old wants to play with the baby toys. It's new, exciting and different. My son is a completely normal, rough and tumble little boy. He would FLIP out if he knew I told anyone about the tea set, shoes or doll. ;)

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

Your child is playing with toys, using imagination and discovering the world. Let your child be! There are no "boy toys" or "girl toys", there are simply toys.
Gender roles, "boy toys" and "girl toys" are nothing but an imaginary social construct. I will admit this is by far one of my biggest pet peeves.
I've got 2 boys and a girl and they play with whatever they want. If my boy wants Barbie, Princess, Dora, glittery and pink then so be it. If my girl wants Thomas the tank, Cars, dinosaurs and everything blue then so be it. They like everything and we like it that way :)

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M.P.

answers from Green Bay on

YES! He sees her playing with it and he wants to follow his big sister! Consider it a huge compliment to your daughter!! :-) Tell your husband that the little boys who play nicely with dolls grow up to be the awesome, caring dads :-)

Try to encourage your daughter to play with the "boy" toys. Take turns playing with each others toys. I wouldn't worry about it - it is COMPLETELY normal.

Does he have any other boys to play with? Maybe get him involved in a play date/group with other boys so they can do some of those trucks, balls, blocks things too. He is at a very impressionable age where he is doing a lot of following of role models. Big sister is a role model. He is going to copy her. There is NOTHING wrong with that! If he wants to play dress up, get him some "boy" dress up clothes - ties, hats, etc. I would try hard to NOT redirect him because that might send the message and teach him the bias that "boys don't play with girls toys" (where did your hubby get that opinion??) LOL :-) (I am teaching an anti-bias early childhood class right now at our local college...a lot of content is gender based). IT IS OKAY FOR BOYS TO PLAY WITH GIRLS TOYS AND GIRLS TO PLAY WITH BOYS TOYS!!!!!! :-D

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

normal.. my son is 18 months younger than his sister he wore all her dress up clothes... high heels, princess gown.. //at his second birthday we got him some boy dress up clothes.. fireman suit army guy... maybe santa can bring your son some manly dress up clothes..

your son doesnt know the gender rules yet.. he is just a baby..

Updated

normal.. my son is 18 months younger than his sister he wore all her dress up clothes... high heels, princess gown.. //at his second birthday we got him some boy dress up clothes.. fireman suit army guy... maybe santa can bring your son some manly dress up clothes..

your son doesnt know the gender rules yet.. he is just a baby..

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

Totally normal, and very cute! All my kids love wearing adults shoes, both my boys wore high heels around the house, as well as Papa's (grandpa's) work boots that were toe-steeled.

Men have a real probably thinking of their son playing with "girls" stuff. Don't do that to your child.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Totally normal. My boys did that with their cusins. My brother used to play dress up with me in my mom's closths and he was not that young he was probalby about 9 or 10. And as for boys carring around dolls, it helps them learn to nurcher. If they are mean to dolls you want to worry. It shows you what kind of father they can be. My oldest used to play with dolls at my familys house and at first I had issues with it then I saw how sweet he was. Well now that he's almost 13 he is so good with little kids. He loved real babies and is so gentle with them and knows how they should be treated. If your husband does not want him dressing up in your daughters dress up stuff get him some costumes and stuff for him to dress up in. This is the perfect time of year to do it too. Wait till after halloween when they mark the costumes down and get some for him that he can play dress up in.

Good Luck and God Bless!

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

OMG. My son is just shy of 10 years younger than his sister and you better believe that he wanted to do all the things she got to do. Playing with Barbies, etc. He loved my high heels. And, he used to cry if he couldn't have a "hair pretty" in his hair like mommy and sissy. Little kids don't understand gender and I think it's perfectly normal for them to have imaginative play.
My mom has all kinds of pictures of me with my grandpa or dad's boots on carrying their lunch pails like I was going to work. I also loved wearing my dad's shirts which my mom had to pin up to keep me from tripping on them.
I don't think any redirection is necessary at 18 months or even a bit older.
My son who cried for hair pretties is well on his way to a career in law enforcement. At 16, he's every bit a very healthy and well adjusted young man.
Surprisingly, when I was married to his father who was majorly controlling, that was one thing that never bothered him. It didn't bother him at all that our son had his own "yipstick", which was clear chap stick. It wasn't an issue and my son grew out of it. Bombing around the house in a pair of his sister's shoes and a barrette in his hair didn't tarnish him for life by any means.
At this age, it's just play.
In my opinion.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

As every other poster said. It's normal.

At my daughter's preschool, they have a lot of dress up clothes, and the younger boys (maybe up to 5yo or so) often have on dresses, purses, fancy shoes, etc. It's totally normal.

2 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Perfectly normal, no need to redirect him. I have no daughters, but my boys still love the Tinkerbell and Little Mermaid and Disney Princess movies. They are also very rough and tumble and love the typical 'boy' things too. It's good to have well balanced children. Think of it this way, would you or your husband find it objectionable if your daughter liked the movie Cars, or Spiderman or started playing with toy trucks and such? So, why the double standard? I got my boys dress-up clothes, superhero capes, cowboy hats, superhero masks, fire fighter helmets... they loved it.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

It's totally normal. My son did the same thing at that age. I have photos of him walking around in his underwear, wearing princess shoes. It looks so funny. He will play with my daughter's dolls. As he's gotten older, the doll was treated more like a buddy than a baby - he played with the doll in a very boy way.

It's funny you mention your husband not liking it. Mine has done the same thing. I don't really get the worry! Boys don't end up "manly" because they are kept from playing with dolls or their sisters toys. They are boys because they are boys. It won't feminize them. It has nothing to do with their sexual orientation either. It takes a real man to play with dolls and wear princess shoes/clothes...hehe.

Anyway, I wouldn't worry or redirect. Let his interests lead him. It's all normal and natural when there is a big sister involved.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Haha, yes completely normal and nothing to fret about. Trying on his sisters (or your for that matter) dresses and shoes will neither make him gay nor turn him into a transvestite.
My nephew has 3 older sisters and plays with their stuff/wears the youngest sisters shoes all the time. He did it more when he was little, now that he's 4 he still likes the shoes, but is a "REAL" boy in pretty much every other way (into sports, cars and you can chase him with anything pink).
Let them play!

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

More normal than you would think. My son did this some, usually to be cute or funny. If you are concerned, now would be a good time to teach him about not getting into his sister's things.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

He's just curious. My 4 year old wanted to have nail polish and tried on my shoes but that is because he saw his sister who is older do it and it got my attention. He was just seaking attention. let it go and let him play :)

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E.L.

answers from Detroit on

My son did (and still does) the same thing. My husband was weird about it at first, but now that our son's 4 he's used to it and really doesn't care anymore. He doesn't even think twice now when he comes home from work and my son's wearing his big sister's dress and has painted nails. Your hubby will probably get used to it too. I think it's so sweet that he wants to be like his big sister! :-)

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S.Q.

answers from Los Angeles on

My little boy's favourite friend was his Dora doll. It was gorgeous the way he insisted on sleeping with her. He's now 3.5 years and has just started rejecting poor Dora. I think his two older brothers may be influencing him.

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S.L.

answers from Lexington on

it does not matter if it is "normal" or not, this is your child - he is unique in the world, and it may be "normal' for him. I suggest that your husband bring himself into the 21st century and get over it.

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J.W.

answers from Lexington on

My younger brother dressed up when little. And even when older he loved dolls and playing house. He liked dolls more than I did! He grew up to be a wonderful, nurturing husband and father to three children. He is successful in his career, and he is "manly." The playing had nothing to do with his "manliness" but I think it did reflect that he was empathetic, creative, nurturing, patient, understanding, and well-rounded.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

You should see the look of horror on my husbands face when my 2 yr old son walks in wearing my daughters princess shoes, feather boa and sparkly purse! It is too funny! I think it is totally normal and think about who his role model is right now...his older sister! He's just exploring his world and wants to do what his big sis is doing.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

NO!!! dont re-direct him!! instead encourage this! he can grow up to be a great father by doing these things, i have worked in day care and nannied for many familys its totally normal and as for the dads they always freak. tell him to chill out and get a grip!

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C.F.

answers from Lexington on

Two of my three boys loved baby dolls at that age. I was unsure about it, at first too. I run a daycare from home, and my first guy was the only boy around at the time, so he was around pink babies all the time! I went out and bought him his own baby, dressed in blue clothes. He would sit and rock his baby and feed him in his little rocking chair. We would tell him what a great Daddy he was going to be one day! By all means, let your little guy perfect his Daddy-ing skills. And btw, my big boy is now almost 10, and is the boy-est boy! Although he will play baby dolls with his favorite girl-cousin if she asks. :)

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C.C.

answers from Denver on

yes, totally normal. Your daughter likes dress-up, why not him? If your hub wants to encourage boy stuff, just have boy dressup things around. My kids wore their spiderman and batman costumes almost everyday practically until they were 4!

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K.P.

answers from Fayetteville on

My daughter wants to play with her older brother's stuff simply because it's NOT HERS! And my son, until he was about 3, would put on my shoes and play with them. He is "all boy" now.

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K.J.

answers from Springfield on

Absolutely normal! My little brother (who isn't little anymore at 24) had the misfortune of growing up with 2 older sisters. We loved to play house with him, dress him up in our clothes, etc. He liked playing with our toys, dolls and LOVED wearing our shoes. My mom still likes to get out old home movies so we can watch him walk around in nothing but his diaper/undies and girly shoes. LOL! He's now a "normal" guy who coaches and plays a lot sports along with other "manly" activities. My youngest son (who has an older brother and sister) likes to play with my daughter's toys too. One of his fave things to do is play dress up with her; he loves the sparkly, frilly princess dresses. I don't think its an issue at all. He also likes to play with his train set, tractors and Lighting McQueen cars. Normal boy with girls in his life. :-)

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

If he plays with boy toys too, like trucks, matchbox cars, etc leave him alone. If he only likes girly toys, redirect. Sadly, I bet you are going to get blasted by this question for those that are politically correct. HA!

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