Issues with Teacher

Updated on October 14, 2008
A.H. asks from Labelle, FL
29 answers

I went to pick my daughter up from kindergarten one day and while I was waiting in the cafeteria for her witnessed a teacher sort of push one of the students. There were two classes that were coming inside and he apparently was not part of her class and as he was walking through the door she pushed him back and say "No, I said MY class first." And this whole time she had a really negative attitude towards all of the kids. I don't know the teacher or the kid involved, so my question is should I say something to the principle and if so, How? In person or make a phone call? Or, is this none of my business? This really bothers me and I keep trying to rationalize that it is none of my business, but then again if it was my child, I would want to know.

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So What Happened?

First of all, thanks to everyone for your advice. I decided that I really didn't know enough about the situation or the people involved to speak up. Since this incident I have seen this teacher on a few other occasions interacting very well with the students.

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M.H.

answers from Sarasota on

you definately speak up. More than the pushing, the negative attitude bothers me to no end. SHE chose her career and if she isn't happy about it, she can go somewhere else. Negative attitude will really affect the children she teaches and should not be tolerated. This has nothing to do with questioning her authority! If she diciplines correctly, there would be no problem here. The principle needs to know so he/she can keep an eye out for other instances like this. There is a right way and wrong way for a teacher to do things, nothing wrong with pointing that out!

1 mom found this helpful
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H.Y.

answers from Tampa on

I would definately call the principal asap! If this teacher is being nasty to kids in front of parents, then theres no telling what she does when its just her & the kids. A teacher should never put her hands on a child in a negative way.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.L.

answers from Tampa on

I would report it,I feel that at times like these we need t be that childs voice,he,or she may not speak up,and there are so many that are scared to.

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L.B.

answers from Fort Myers on

Some time ago I went to drop off my daughter at daycare and while I was there chit chatting with her caregiver, another caregiver burst in through the door with another 1 and 1/2 year old by the shoulder screaming that she had had it, that the other caregiver should take care of 'this' because she was at her wits end. The little boy was evidently sick, his nose was running and he couldn't stop crying. I started talking to him and he calmed down.
I was SO UPSET with the lady I went ahead and spoke to the director immediately. The way I see it, if another mom had seen this done to my kid I would expect her to bring it up to the director and for her to take corrective measures.
You'll do a service to other parents, to other kids, and even to the teacher by pointing this out. It is NOT FAIR to treat kids that way.

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M.B.

answers from Tampa on

This is absolutely your business. These teachers are there to support your children. Don't you want your children in a positive environment. This is why picking your school is so important. As a new school mom, I'd even sit in the classroom with the kindgarten kids.

This is one of the reasons why I homeschool.....

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T.F.

answers from Lakeland on

I would definitely say something. Even just reading this, I felt I had to respond. As for how...however you are most comfortable. You can call, email or send an anonymous letter. A 6 or 7 year old child is most likely very intimidated by the teachers and not able to speak for themselves. It is our job as parents to stand up for them when they are not able. As you mentioned in your question, if it happened to your child you would want someone to say something. Just by posting this question you are showing concern about the children, imagine how they must feel.

I have worked in various child care settings for years. Though the teachers and assistants are grossly underpaid and over worked, there is no excuse to lay a finger on a child. Furthermore, it sounds as though she "barked" at him and almost taunted him by saying her class is first, thus making him feel not as important. A better way for her to handle the situation, bend or squat down to his level, lightly touch him and say, "Oh, sweetie (or name if known), your class is just right there and will be coming in soon" then point him in the right direction.

I hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Fort Myers on

I would talk to the principal but that is because I wouldn't want the teacher to get tenure and then be unfireable. Can you imagine how guilty you would feel if your little one got this teacher in a year or 2?

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K.L.

answers from Tampa on

Hi A. -

I am a teacher myself and I would definitely say something to the principal. It doesn't matter if it was your child or someone else's, that is wrong and should be reported. I hope it all works out.

K.

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D.M.

answers from Sarasota on

It is bothering you for a reason! You know it was wrong there for it is eating at you! It is your business because you seen it happen. You wouldn't want your child to deal with that type of teacher on a daily basis. I feel you should go to the office and talk to someone face to face and let them know how bad it bothered you. You as a parent have the upper hand and have a 100% right to expressing how your feeling about someone who could be a problem. Hope this helps, I've been there and you will feel a whole lot better after you do!

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S.S.

answers from Tampa on

A.,
I would tell the principal -- absolutely ..if you feel that she was being mean and you know why -- None of the parents can watch over their kids all the time and even though most teachers are great and have patience, we have some teachers/staff who are mean to kids. How you report it, depends on you and your way. You can call annonymously if you don't want them to know OR go and meet the principal. Most schools have the photos of all the teachers somewhere in the hallway, and it might help if you know around what time in Cafeteria this happened, so they can find out which classes might be there.
Take Care.

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L.M.

answers from Tampa on

ABSOLUTELY say something to the principal. Like you said, you would want to know if that was your child. Plus, you have placed indefinite trust in the providers that care for your children and she may not even realize it. You stated that possibly was "not your business" ? your children and their welfare IS your business and you should not feel bad AT ALL about being concerned for their safety. I would definitely do this in person as I feel that it warrants that face to face interaction with the principal. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

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R.T.

answers from Tampa on

Hi A., I would immediately report it, if it were my child I would want it reported.

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S.L.

answers from Tampa on

I totally disagree with Rosemary! On one hand she is saying children need more control over themselves and on the other, "parents get too involved". I personally don't think there is such thing as "too involved" when OUR children are at stake here. If you saw something that bothered you then trust your gut. You are not asking that the teacher be fired, you are simply telling your concerns to the principal.

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M.D.

answers from Tampa on

Dear A.,

Absolutely, positively YES, do tell the principal hon. My son was poked by a man teacher when he was only 7 yrs.of age and I found out this teacher was harassing other little boys in the bathroom, so I immediately took action, told the principal on him, and found he was fired that week. Another time a teacher {same school} was yelling at a child in a classroom and I was in the next room over, I immediately went to the principal's office and reported her.

As a parent you need to do these things for not only your child, but for other children as well. We need not have teachers in our school system bullying our children.

That is why I have been homeschooling my specially gifted son for over 4 years now. I am tired of our school systems, and the way they don't seem to care about our children anymore.

This is only a suggestion, but if you wrote about it, it must be on your mind to tell. So, please do...what if it were your child? You would want to know like you said.

Much Respect & Good luck to you.
Peace,
Shell

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K.C.

answers from Tampa on

Just my two cents, but I say you definitely raise your concerns to the principal in a caring way, just cause you never know what is going on. Schools unfortunately have a lot of issues these days, that make it everyones concern (teachers, parents, other students, etc.). We all have to be eyes and ears and just offer input in a nice way when we have something to share. Good luck! It is hard. Who knew all this "school stuff" would be so taxing at a young stage. : )

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J.P.

answers from Tampa on

Email works well too, but a concerned phone call might be best. Maybe the teacher was having a bad day, but then again, he could be that way all the time. And what little kid is going to say anything? We are thier only advocates. Speak up for them.

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B.R.

answers from Tampa on

You should report it to the principal. Keep in mind that while some students can really push the teachers to their limits, this is an adult charged with teaching children and she should not have that sort of physical contact with students. While her attitude towards the other students in general sounds inappropriate as well, this particular child (or several - I experienced quite the challenging group last year) may really have been pushing her buttons repeatedly. A phone call should be sufficient.

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S.D.

answers from Sarasota on

When I was in elementary school (one of the top rated schools in the country) I had a 6th grade teacher who emotionally traumatized countless children before she was fired after MANY years of teaching at the school. That said, my opinion is, follow your gut and do what you think is right. If you do report, I'd find out how the principle wants those reports, if possible. Otherwise I'd do it in person to see her response/reaction.

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J.G.

answers from Tampa on

I would be supper upset. I don't care if its someone else's kid. There is no way I would let that go. I would go to the principal in person. I have worked with kids for 10 year, there is no excuse to act that way toureds a child. especially since there are supposed to be setting an example when we are not around! Maybe I'm to harsh, but they should not get away with acting like that! I hope this helps J.

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L.C.

answers from Tampa on

I think I would say something. If she is doing it to this kid, then she may be like that with others. On top of that you stated she had a negative attitude with all the kids. I think this is an issue that needs to be addressed. Keep in mind the principal may want you to be in the same room with the teacher when she is confronted. Some do that and some don't. I would express my concern though, in person. Hope that helps.

L. SAHM w/4 kids 3 girls 10-5-2 and 1 boy 2 1/2 months

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B.R.

answers from Tampa on

A.,
My first question is this. You say she "sort of" pushed the child. What exactly do you mean by sort of? Lightly?
Do you think that the child knew that this teacher actually put her hands on him in a negative way? The teacher also was negative to all the children? Are you sure it was a teacher? Maybe an assistant? A., even if you wanted to say something, what on earth would you possibly say? You don't know who the child was or the adult. Right? If this adult had put her hands on a child to push the child, I'm afraid that I would of said something to her at that exact moment. If you knew the child it would be possible to speak with him first but you don't know him right? I really feel it's a lost cause at this point. If you want to pursue it, I suggest going to the area where you saw it happen and see if the adult is there again with the class. If she is, find out who she is and then report her to the principal. Make sure you have your facts straight though. This could happen at anytime with other children by this person and I certainly don't want anyone touching my children in this way! Please keep me updated. Very interested in the outcome.
Good luck ******************************************
FOR ROSEMARY W.*************************************

You sound like you are a very disgruntled teacher that doesn't like her job. The teachers can have control but under NO circumstances do they put their hands on any child at ANY time! Are you a mother or a teacher? I'll bet you are a teacher with no children of your own?????????
B.

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H.T.

answers from Tampa on

I think with out seeing more of this teacher, you cannot assume how she interacts with the children on a normal basis. There is a chance this student has done this every day and she is being more firm. Or her class has been acting out and she is showing her displeasure. What you saw was only a "snapshot". Teachers are human, too, and can have a bad day like everyone else.

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

Without you knowing the full details I would suggest minding your own business. That is unless she hurt the child. Teachers have to take control because parents refuse to teach their children to mind. If a teacher lets one child get away with doing wrong then they would all follow lead. Teachers need to be allowed to have some control over the children. I say they should be allowed to use the paddle if needed also. Parents let their children get away with to much and then the teachers have to deal with the bad behavior. If you want to say anything to anyone then you should go and find out who the teacher is and talk with her...............Maybe if you tried teaching for a day you would realize how bad children are today and that they need someone to control them, their parents can't............I want to add one more thing after reading the other Mom's comments. Unless they have worked as a teacher I think they should not be telling you to go to the principal. As you know there is a shortage of teachers already. This is one of the main reasons-parents that do not want their child to be made to mind by others. Unless you are prepared to take the teaching position I would keep my mouth shut unless addressing the teacher in person one on one. You do not know what brought this on. I am sticking to the fact that to many parents get to involved.......Stay away from the principals office.........

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K.T.

answers from Tampa on

YES DEFINATELY! I would go to the school and see the principal. If she pushed a child it needs to be handled immediately.

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K.T.

answers from Sarasota on

Talk and in person because it makes a better impression. I'd want someone to tell for my child. Good luck.

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E.R.

answers from Tampa on

I would say if it is bothering you, you should address it! Go in and talk to the principle, make sure you tell him/her exactly what you saw and how it made you feel as a parent. I would guess if nothing else, the teacher will get a talking to and will be more careful of his/her actions.

Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Fort Myers on

Please don't report the teacher for a "sort of" push. You don't have any of the background information. As you said, you don't know the teacher and you don't know the student. There could be a history of that particular student pushing the limits regularly. It could have been just "one of those days" for the teacher -- we've all been there, and we've all chosen the wrong response. If the teacher is consistently acting inappropriately it won't go unnoticed by the parents and the administration.

Looking back over some of the responses, I agree with Rosemary's point that some parents get too involved in the wrong way. When I was a public school teacher (I have my own children, by the way), if a student acted out in class, I had to make sure that I contacted the parent before the student got home, because some parents would side with the child if he or she got their "side" of the story out first. If parents always back up their children -- especially if the children are wrong, they are teaching the child to disrespect authority figures, and they are not doing their child any favors. I can't tell you how many of those same children now have mug shots on the Lee County Sheriff's web site.

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G.M.

answers from Tampa on

I think you should bring it to the principals attention. Personally I would do it face to face as this would be a greater impact than over the phone. I would explain that if that was your child that you would want the parent that witnessed it to come forward. There are too many teachers abusing their power over these children now. Good luck
G.

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C.G.

answers from Tampa on

Find out who the teacher is, and report the incident to the principal. It may have been taken out of context, but you don't know that, so it's best to report such things. Unfortunately, so much documentation is needed before something can be done about teachers who are not doing their job or treating children wrong. So many people turn their eyes away from such situations because they don't know the whole story, or they don't want to stir the boat, or they just don't feel that it's their business. This is a problem because principals and school districts need documentation and they don't always get it or have enough. Follow your gut and report the incident. Even if it's not your child right now, it could be that one of your children ends up in that class or in a similar situation, and you would want something done too.

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