37 answers

Isn't the "Don't Call Anyone Between 9 Pm & 9 Am" Rule Universal?

I don't like getting phone calls after 9. I put my kids down early & I usually go to bed early too. If the phone rings I immediately assume its an emergency & when its not I let the person know we go to bed early EVERY night.

DO you all feel the same & if your not one to go to bed early do you call people late?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

:)

Featured Answers

Lol...in my home we ask people not to call after 730 unless there is an emergency. My youngest gets up pretty early so I don't care how early people call. Chances are if its between 7-740 I won't answer bc I'm getting my oldest ready for school. But generally speaking yes I think it's rude to call late at night and I usually let that person know. I know which friends have kiddos that start the day early and which ones have kids that sleep in. I'll call sil at 8 sometimes earlier if needed. But my sisters kids sleep in I won't call her until after 10.

3 moms found this helpful

I try to follow that rule BUT if I am on facebook and I see them on I quick ask if I can call, or text them if it is ok to call. With family all over the US and world it is sometimes hard to always follow that rule.

At least for me if a friend or family calls after 9pm or before 9am it is something that is important to them and I do listen and reply. If I am really tired my cell phone is on silent & only the alarm will go off so it will go to voicemail.

2 moms found this helpful

I definitely follow this rule. If I know I am calling someone with small children I won't call after 8PM. I can honestly say we rarely get calls after 9PM but we do get them earlier than 9AM from people who know we will be awake anyway.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

If my phone rings after 8 or 9 pm, then that is a strange call, yes. My husband's cell? - not so strange.

When I was in High School my parents said not to call after 10pm. If it was 10:01, Dad would get mad. If a teen called our house super-late and woke up my dad, he'd take it upon himself to call the teenager at 6am and wake them up (or worse, wake up their parents).

I am generally in bed by 10pm. I do not call people past dinner time usually. That's often their family time or I know they're trying to put their kids to bed. I did call my friend last night at 9:30, but I KNEW she was up and so was her kid. If I didn't call her then, I wouldn't be able to figure out if we had a playdate today or not until later this morning (they stay up late, get up late. If I called her at 9am, she'd still likely be asleep).

4 moms found this helpful

We don't have a land line. Rather, we have 3 cells phones, mine, my husband's and a 3rd line that I keep next to my bed. No one knows that phone number except my parents and his parents and it is for emergencies. We leave our cell phones in the kitchen where we cannot hear them at night.

Our parents know to call us on that 3rd line if there's an emergency. We almost never get woken up in the middle of the. Once, my MIL called when my FIL had a stroke. Well, that's what it's there for. Also, we left it on the kitchen table for the baby sitter, just in case.

3 moms found this helpful

Lol...in my home we ask people not to call after 730 unless there is an emergency. My youngest gets up pretty early so I don't care how early people call. Chances are if its between 7-740 I won't answer bc I'm getting my oldest ready for school. But generally speaking yes I think it's rude to call late at night and I usually let that person know. I know which friends have kiddos that start the day early and which ones have kids that sleep in. I'll call sil at 8 sometimes earlier if needed. But my sisters kids sleep in I won't call her until after 10.

3 moms found this helpful

What time zone. I live in hawaii... We are 6 time zones off of yours... I call past 3pm and it will be past 9 your time...

3 moms found this helpful

Yeah, definitely no calls after 9. Some friends we are close to can call in the morning after 8am because they know we're up and they've got little ones too so they're up as well. Imagine this... Husbands family is on the west coast and we're on the east coast. They "forget" about the time diff. We've had calls at 11pm (8pm their time) and scared the heck out of us, all in the name of "hi, how are you guys?"

3 moms found this helpful

I would never call someone late unless it was an emergency or if I'm looking for one of my kids Grrr... During the years you are raising a teen you'll understand that one.

I agree with you. I also like to go to bed early.

3 moms found this helpful

No, you are NOT the only one who feels this way...However, I just posted with Jo G about the Weiner scandal....values and morals have gone by the way side.....

If my phone rings after 2100, like you, I assume it's an emergency....and I do get upset when it's "let's chat"....when I lived in Europe - it was hard for friends and family at first to calculate the time change (9 hours for California and 6 for DC)...so I could get calls at all hours...for that - I really couldn't get upset...

I admit - I've called someone before 0900 - but on her cell KNOWING she is up at 0600 every day....she's FINE with that. As long as I don't call the house phone...

it's OKAY to tell people - "this is NOT an emergency - I'm going back to bed"

2 moms found this helpful

I hate the phone to ring after 9, I'm the same way, it sets off the fight or flight instinct. That's what I love about texting now. If a friend has something to say they can quietly text me and not send my heart to the rodeo with a ringing phone.
It's common courtesy ... well not common to some I suppose otherwise it would never happen.
You have to inform your friends and family. Some people are night owls, and don't realize they are bugging.

2 moms found this helpful

I have reamed callers for calling me after 8.
Even my mother used to apologize when she called after the kids went to bed, 7:30. I don't mind now that they are older, but only if it's family.
I only call mom or hubby will call his mom after hours.

We had a foreign exchange student two years ago and had an issue with unsolicited callers. So I had our student answer and talk in German.

2 moms found this helpful

Unless I know they will be up or expecting my call I never call anyone after 9. On the flip side it doesn't bother me at all if someone calls me after 9.

The only person who calls me in the middle of the night is my daughter, god knows why it is never anything important. Meh, maybe she misses her mom only in the middle of the night.

2 moms found this helpful

That is why we only have cell phones, no house line, we can turn the phone volume off/down when we no longer want to hear the phone ring. If I need to call someone later at night I send a text message asking if it's ok, they then can say no, not respond or yes. If someone says "do not call it's too late/early" I put that in my notes under their name on my phone. I have tons of family on the west coast so, I can call them later w/ no issues. Oh, and my sister's house phone has a volume adjuster on her ringer too, so the ringer's (two) get turned down at bed time and the one in the kitchen is off when the adults go to sleep.

2 moms found this helpful

I try to follow that rule BUT if I am on facebook and I see them on I quick ask if I can call, or text them if it is ok to call. With family all over the US and world it is sometimes hard to always follow that rule.

At least for me if a friend or family calls after 9pm or before 9am it is something that is important to them and I do listen and reply. If I am really tired my cell phone is on silent & only the alarm will go off so it will go to voicemail.

2 moms found this helpful

Growing up, I was not allowed to recieve or make phone calls after 10pm. That is the general rule I plan to use with my kids. Now, there are certain folks (well, more specifically, my sister) who I know I can call after 10pm but definately not after 11pm. I am generally trying to go to bed around 10pm anyway, so why would I want to be on the phone??

As for the AM, most business start at 8AM so I think that is reasonable to make calls starting then. I do try to hold personal calls till closer to 9AM, especially if I know a family has kids because it takes me that long to get it going in the morning.

So, short answer: no calls from 10pm to 9AM.

Universal, I don't know. Courtesy, yes.
~C.

2 moms found this helpful

With cell phones now, I do not have anyone that has my number that would call that early or that late.. I also screen my calls.. Unless it is an emergency/ We have a land line, but it is for emergencies and the ringer is turned off.

And yes, If I am on FB and see someone I really need to speak with I will ask to call them or ask them to call me.

2 moms found this helpful

Get caller id and then you'll know whether or not you might want to answer.

1 mom found this helpful

I feel that way! Just the other day my phone rang at 6:50AM! Here Im thinking its an emergency and run to the phone (I was still in bed) - this person starts talking to me as if I knew who it was and I had to shut her up as it was a wrong number!

All I could think of, who the heck calls people at that ungodly hour?

I worry calling people back at my office because of time zones, I always wait till 9AM and double check where they are so I dont call them before 9AM.

That should be a universal rule!

1 mom found this helpful

I definitely follow this rule. If I know I am calling someone with small children I won't call after 8PM. I can honestly say we rarely get calls after 9PM but we do get them earlier than 9AM from people who know we will be awake anyway.

1 mom found this helpful

I completely agree with you. I grew up with the "no one calls after 9" rule. My husband goes to work around 4am & I put my kids to bed fairly early. I certainly don't expect everyone to play by my family rules, but I do expect a little consideration. This statement from Donna S. "We have to take care of ourselves now a days." is exactly what's wrong with the world today. There really doesn't appear to be any concern with our fellow person. Whatever happen to common courtesy?

1 mom found this helpful

I put my phone on silent/vibrate after 11pm.
I don't mind people calling up until then. If my daughter is asleep I turn the ringer volume down. If I am asleep its on vibrate or silent.

If my daughter is staying the night somewhere I keep the ringer on, so that they can call, same if my husband is working late.

But any other emergency, like something happening to my parents or my brother, there is nothing I could do anyway, as I live in a different part of the country. So I will just have to find out about it when I wake up.

So my "rule" is 11pm to 9am.
And I don't tell people that, I just turn the ringer off.

Just one of the many beauties of cell phones. I have not had a land line in... 14 years....since I was a teenager in my parents house.
My parents don't even have a land line anymore, neither do my in-laws, or any of my family or friends.

1 mom found this helpful

This issue caused a little rift for me and my family & friends. I got married and asked everyone to not call us after 9pm, well they had a problem with that because they were not used to doing that. No one calls us after 9pm unless it is an emergency.

1 mom found this helpful

I actually don't like it when people call us after 8:30 pm during the workweek because we get up at 5:30 am every weekday morning, kids included. I don't answer the phone that late unless it's an emergency. I let the answering machine pick up and I stand right there listening to the answering machine if it's not an emergency/urgent I won't even pick up...not even for my mom. She was the biggest offender there for a while. She still calls me at around 8:30/9 am when I home sick from work, if I'm taking some vacation days, etc. it drives me nuts!

I personally will not call anyone before 10 am or after 8 pm just to be safe. The exceptions, besides an emergency, would be if we had plans to get together and/or I knew for a fact they were awake.

1 mom found this helpful

Well people who know me know I'm up late so I don't mind if they call. They also know to not call me early ;-). I don't care what time someone calls my cell phone because the ringer on that is off most of the time anyway - if I have to call someone late and leave a message, I try their cell phone first because it's less invasive. I figure if it's late, he or she will have the ringer off.

My husband makes work calls after 9PM all the time and I think that's beyond rude. He's an auto damage appraiser and has to make appointments with people who have wrecked their cars so they do take his call and no one yells at him, but I find it appalling.

1 mom found this helpful

HA. I thought that rule was just my mom's! If we don't know people very well, we adhere to the 9/9 rule. For folks we know are up at the crack of dawn and don't mind calls, we may call them early....for folks we know who are night owls and are up every night 'til midnight...we might call them after 9. BUT...if we don't know, we won't call them earlier or later.

1 mom found this helpful

I am with you. I dont answer the phone after 9pm at all (Unless I think it could be an emergancy which has yet to happen) I have a newly single,unemployed friend who lost custody of her sons and she calls me at all hours of the night wanting me to go out. Just because she has no reason to get up early I do and I go to bed early!

1 mom found this helpful

It depends on who it is. I don't like it when businesses call outside of standard business hours (9-5). Family and friends get a lot more leeway. If I really don't want to answer calls I turn the ringers off and the answering machine on and make sure the cell phones are on, but on vibrate.

1 mom found this helpful

No, I'm not the same....but I only call people that I know for certain would be up after 9.

1 mom found this helpful

I so agree. I actually get angry if the phone rings late. I don't know why. And I am soooo not a morning person. Folks know not to call me in the am.
:)

1 mom found this helpful

I hate when people call after nine. I don't care if it's family or friends or telemarketers. No calling after nine or before nine. My husband thinks I'm weird that I think his friends or family shouldn't call that early but I don't call anyone that early in case they are sleeping in that day. Just because they wake up early and he wakes up early doesn't mean me and the kids do.

1 mom found this helpful

I honestly don't care if people call me before or after those hours. We just moved to the East Coast from CA, so most of my friends and family are in West Coast time zone and sometimes they forget about the time here. No big deal. My best friend calls me ANYTIME. It could be 10pm just to talk or 2am if there is a problem. I don't care.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree that before 9 am is too early for some phone calls, but I don't mind it at all if it is someone I haven't talked to for a long time or my MIL. I always welcome phone calls from family! Sometimes this is the best time to talk because the kids are not quite as "active" yet!

I also don't mind a phone call after 9 pm as long as it is on my cell phone! If someone calls the land line, I assume it is an emergency.

1 mom found this helpful

Totally agree with you! Phone calls that late are usually not okay unless it is something really important! But I am amazed at how many people don't seem to care or realize! I live in a very religious community that seems to think that knocking on your door after nine to "talk" is acceptable! I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who believes in this rule.

1 mom found this helpful

I know what you mean, but I've now decided not to talk to anyone unless it's after 9PM. That way my kids are well gone to bed and I don't feel that I'm ignoring them or my husband. I find texting to be more my preference of communication that way I can answer when I feel like it. I have two close friends that I would call after 9 PM only because one works late and the other works overnight AND I know they are ok with it. I wouldn't do that to just anybody though. :)

1 mom found this helpful

Wish it was. But most people don't seem to respect it much. I am a night owl so I usually don't mind much(sometimes it is annoying though), but I don't do it to other people unless I am specifically told I can call or unless I know they are night owls that don't mind calls. I do talk to my Mom at all hours, and one friend who has a crazy sleep schedule but generally speaking, I would never call after 9pm and not before 9 am unless it was an emergency. I did wake the neighbors one morning when I locked us out of the house and I had to get the kids to school and I had no way to contact my Mom(who is the only person with a spare key), and they let me use their phone which she didn't answer because she didn't recognize the # and my dear neighbors drove my kids to school and dropped me at my Mom's house. I felt terrible for waking them but it was winter and I was trapped outside with no keys or phone with two little kids, i couldn't even unlock the car for the kids to sit in while I tried to figure out what to do. Anyway, we really didn't have another option. In that case I wouldn't mid being woken up, in any situation that is out of the ordinary or an emergency but under normal circumstances i think it is only right to respect others and not call after 9pm unless it has been specified differently.

1 mom found this helpful

I think no calls after 9 is the unwritten rule. Our daughter goes to bed at 8 and I'm generally in bed around 9:30 because I get up at 5 a.m. We don't answer the phone after 9 unless there is an absolute emergency and actually, we don't get late calls any longer as all of our friends and family feel the same way now (when we were all in our 20s and childless it was different). I don't mind the 7 a.m. phone calls because we're all up by then.

1 mom found this helpful

Personally I do not mind receiving calls later in the evening since we stay up late and I feel I can give the caller my undivided attention since the kids are in bed.

If someone does call I would explain that you do not like receiving calls after 9 PM because you like to go to bed early. If this doesn't work than I would turn the ringer off each night. When they can't get a hold of you they will get the hint that you do not want to be disturbed after 9.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi J.
There is no universal rule for anything.
Sorry to say, people do what they want to do.
We have to take care of ourselves now a days.
It is a dog eat dog world.
I regret having to break the news to you.
Hope this is not too painful for you to read.
D.

1 mom found this helpful

I detest any noise coming from neighbors or construction or whatever before 8am. We've lived on bases for years so the rule was suppose to be no noise before 8am. (most people are already up for work or school after 8am)

We've lived in this house since March 1. Our house sits in front of two other houses, kind of a woodsy area. The one older couple are quiet and nice and we try to keep the noise down with our 4 kids even in the middle of the day. The other neighbors are upper middle age and have a barking dog and I swear, no kidding, starts running his chain saw at 7am! Are you kidding me? Middle of the week or weekend! They have a wood stove and already have a huge pile of wood supply so why the chain saw? It's ridiculous! And they're running that wood stove all the time, even in the hot weather. Very odd people.

We also have construction going on at the side path next to our driveway that has been going on for a year according to the neighbors. Was suppose to be done in April. They would start work, again no kidding, at 6am!!!! Then they would stop between 7-8am as alarms were going off for work and school. Are you kidding me?

I think an 8am rule is a good rule because most people are starting their day at that time.

As for at night, the phone needs to stop ringing after about 9pm, unless it's family then it's ok. Our triplets aren't babies anymore so we would tell everyone not to call after 7pm. But they're 6 now and if family calls once in a while after 8-9pm it's ok and it's usually something important.

But yes, I agree on there being common courtesy with calls in a person's home. Our oldest son is 24 and as a teen his buddies would call at 10pm! We'd answer and snap on their butts and tell them not to call again after 8pm, period. And for repeat offenders they'd be told not to call at all, ever! It's not difficult and if it's no emergency that can't wait until the bus tomorrow, don't call! That included our kid's cell phone as well. We pay the bills so the cells stay plugged in on the kitchen counter and is only used when they go out. Cell phone are for when they're out of the house. When they're home that's our family time, period.

Drives us nuts when people, anyone, calls us bright and early on a Saturday morning. Can't anyone let us home just one morning to try to sleep in? Our triplets get us up early enough as it is!

Oh, and time zones? Yah, if you're calling someone you DO know what time zone you're calling. That's never a good excuse. I don't call people outside my time zone using my time. I use their time!

Another thing I hate is when my husband's employees call him on his work cell at 9-10pm or later! Ok, my husband's job isn't 24/7. He does have a family life! I told him if it happens one more time, except if it's his boss, I'll grab the phone from his hands and hang the dang thing up and toss it out in the yard! How rude can people get calling their boss that late, usually with things that can wait until the next day or send an email!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

1 mom found this helpful

Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.