Is This Separation Anxiety, a Virus or Both?

Updated on September 06, 2013
S.A. asks from Chicago, IL
9 answers

My 7 yr old son started second grade a few weeks ago. He was excited about starting and did great for the first couple of weeks.

Last Friday he cried all morning and would hardly eat. He said he was tired and didn't want to go. He came out of school that day with a smile and said he was fine.

On Saturday and Sunday mornings, he complained of a stomachache when he woke up. He would eat, but not as much as usual. As the day progressed, he seemed fine. On Sunday night, he complained of a bad stomachache and felt like he was going to throw up. We figured he ate a lot at my parents house. We gave him some gingerale to sip on the ride home. When we got home, we played Wii with the other kids and seemed to completely perk up. After 30 minutes of that, he said he felt all better.

On Monday, he seemed totally fine. But yesterday morning he woke up before he even had to be up for school and complained of a stomachache. He wouldn't eat any breakfast again (like Friday) and wanted me to give him a barf bowl. His color did look off, so I kept him home. Right after I made the call to the absentee line for school, he started looking and acting much better. I kept him home but told him that this would not be happening again. He ate almost all of his lunch, but would hardly touch his dinner.

This morning, he was crying again. He said his stomach hurt, but knew he couldn't stay home. He was clinging to me and didn't want to go get in the car. My husband almost had to carry him to the car.

What could be going on? It seems strange for him to suddenly develop separation anxiety. He hasn't done this since he was 3. He says school is fine, and he's not having any problems with his teacher or anyone else. But if it is separation anxiety, why would he have been having stomachaches over the long weekend when he knew he didn't have to leave me. At first I thought it was post nasal drip because he was getting over a cold, or maybe a virus, but now that he's been crying in the morning before school I wonder if it's anxiety.

Any thoughts?

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B..

answers from Dallas on

Not separation anxiety. Most likely school anxiety but there is wiggle room for a physical problem.
Talk to him about school, friends, classmates, feelings of inadequacy in studies or social situations.
Talk to his teacher and see if she has some insight about struggles.
Take him to his doc. And see if it's acid reflux or a strep infection in his stomach, drainage?

Keep talking and listening. It will come out.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I suppose it could be anything. I noticed in our house that my son complains of stomach issues for the first two weeks of school or so...even on the weekends. No fever. Seems to like school just fine. And no actually vomiting, just nausea. I don't know if it's nerves, the change in schedule or both. Before trying antacids, we did try a peppermint. He said it helped in the beginning and then later it stopped working. I have discovered that if I give him a children's chewable antacid (suggested by the ped) he says it helps. I still haven't figured out if he "needs" it or if it's a placebo. Either way it works. After the first few weeks of school it's no longer needed.

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J.E.

answers from Chicago on

Strep he got strep and it most likely will not show up in a throat swab its in his blood. Beg your dr for azyrhromycin or augmentin these are the ones that work in this strep virus infection. Happened to my kids at your sons age they just felt so sick. Took us three months to figure it out or come up with a positive test that the dr believed us. By that time the entire family had to get in antibiotics and we couldn't get rid of it for 6 months of straight antibiotics for everyone!!!! It was awful and we still get relapses when around a strep carrier. Good luck google PANDAS in kids

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Or it could be something else. It sounds like he's anxious about going to school, not necessarily separation anxiety. Sometimes psychological symptoms can manifest themselves physically. Significant anxiety/stress can cause stomach pains, nausea, vomiting, etc. Is he having trouble adjusting to the new school year?

I find it interesting that he started looking and acting much better after you called the school to let them know that he would be absent. If it's not anxiety, there's also a small possibility that he's malingering because of something that happened at school. I think 2nd graders are old enough to malinger.

I realize he told you that nothing happened at school, but I would double check.

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A.M.

answers from Champaign on

My son is 5 and just started kindergarten. His first day of school his anxiety level was so high that he vomited after school. The following week he complained of another stomachache and I figured out that he had to poop but was nervous about using the bathroom at school. So, in our case it was a combination of anxiety and constipation. Has your son been having regular bowel movements? I've discovered that it's not uncommon for kids - even older ones who have been in school for a couple of years - to try to hold it while at school because they fear going to the bathroom at school or having to ask to go to the bathroom, especially with a new teacher. Just a thought. I hope you figure it out. Our first couple of weeks of school have been an emotional roller coaster so I completely understand and sympathize with what you're going through. Good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Do take him to a doctor to rule out strep which doesn't always have the usual signs and can be very serious if not caught early or other physical causes. That being said my youngest had a crappy 3rd grade year start, it started from the moment he found out he got a teacher he didn't want (& in hindsight I should have demanded a switch from calling him the nickname that is common fro his full name that he doesn't like and repeatedly told her politely to many old school techniques), his sibling was moving up to the next school and he was having some academic challenges where he stopped eating for the most part and was not himself. So it definitely pays to listen to his ques and take him to a child therapist if that's what your gut says.

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter went through this last year, and it turned out it was a dairy sensitivity causing the stomach aches. We cut out dairy and the problem went completely away. Worth a try.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Sounds like he's a bit anxious or stressed (maybe doesn't even realize he is), and he might be fighting a cold or something. That would pull his defenses down and make him even more susceptible to the cold and anxiety.

K.L.

answers from Chicago on

I would call my pediatrician and discuss it. You may find its a symptom of something else or that they have been seeing a lot of that lately due to a virus. Also, keep in the back of your mind that it could possibly be the manifestation of an unhealthy or scary interaction with another child or adult. Keep your ears open and be aware of fearfulness. Also, my child gets a tummy ache if there hasn't been a recent bowel movement. Miralax in applesauce helps that. Hope it's just a virus. God bless your family.

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