Good for you N.! I wish there were more like you!!
Sims is not appropriate for 9 year olds. I tell my son that he needs to enjoy the things his age because soon he will out grow them and will miss out! I remind him how much he used to like Little People and Rescue Heroes...so, what if there is something their age now that they would love, but miss out because they jumped ahead to the next age group? He also secretly likes it when I tell him that parents who don't read the labels and follow the rules, must not really love their kids and we should feel sorry for them and try to help them.
okay...so, I think what you really asked for were some alternative...barbie.com,(free) groovie girls (need the doll) and webkins (need a stuffed animal) are all fun and age appropriate to do what she is wanting to do. Groovie Girls and Webkins have the ability to interact with her friend safely online.
Bless you for all that you do. She is so lucky to have you!