21 answers

Is Pornography Considered Cheating?

I found out my husband has a problem with pornography...how many of you feel its a form of cheating...im am devastated

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

thank you all for your responses and thank you to those of you whom sent me messages as well.

What totally blows me away is how many of you believe that porn is okay....what is the top of our society having a problem with?...I feel porn is NOT okay for any reason....and anyone i believe that watches it is only bringing themselves down even worse. I dont want to be in that category nor do i want my husband to either.

My husband is denying it....like he did the last time....no shocker but still hurts very badly.

The excuse that its okay because men are visual is just and excuse and thats all...we are letting them excuse this behavior which to me i feel is wrong.

Thank you to those whom understand how i feel and agree...i dont feel like i did anything wrong anymore....it is an addition and a hard one at that to fix...(ive done some research since posting my original post)

I would like to add...that i did not ask if porn was wrong...i asked if you all out there think it is cheating or not...so the PERSON who just tore me up saying i sabotoged them is way off base on what i asked.

I dont need to ask if porn is wrong ...because i KNOW IT IS WRONG....there is no way around that one..I just felt i needed to clarify this...I was asking if you all think its a form of cheating...thank you to those who understood what i was asking.

I still feel devistated and hurt and angered....sometimes I blame our society somewhat because our society has let to many things slip by making them look like there is nothing wrong with it.

I still havent decided how to handle this...partly because he is still in denial...so im not sure what i will end up doing...thank you again for your responses...its helped knowing that there or those of you that have been in my shoes...thank you for your support as well.

Featured Answers

Matthew 5:28 "I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a women to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

Pornography is WRONG. I just don't know what else to say about it. :(

1 mom found this helpful

This is my friend's website. You may feel a little validated from it. noporn4kaye.blogspot.com

good luck!

More Answers

i think it's cheating. he's looking at other women's bodies. and the whole point of pornography is to get aroused. he's getting aroused by other women's bodies. it's like he's inviting those women into your home, your marriage, your bed. i get sad when people don't think it's a big deal.

1 mom found this helpful

OH A.
I am so sorry about your situation. I can't imagine your heart ache. I do feel like pornography is Cheating! Anything that takes away from the Honor and respect of a marriage, is cheating. Hopefully you two can move forward, get into counseling for his addiction and be there for your precious child. My prayers go out to you and your husband. God Bless!

1 mom found this helpful

Matthew 5:28 "I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a women to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

Pornography is WRONG. I just don't know what else to say about it. :(

1 mom found this helpful

Anything that distracts from the relationship in such an intimate manner can be considered cheating.

Emotional affairs, physical affairs, fantasy affairs: pornography...all distract from the intimacy of a marital relationship.

Before, I might have said that it's all right so long as my husband is still giving me what I consider the appropriate level of intimate attention. BUT having had an emotional affair out side of my first (short) marriage understanding how damaging it was to the relationship. And discovering pornographic movies on the current cable bill now and then in current marriage (6+yrs), I developed a different opinion.

If it takes attention from ME as the wife and chief sharer of intimacy, I am hurt. The same is true on my side of things, i.e. not even "harmless" flirting is okay, hurting my husband.
As I stated above, anything that feels like it encroaches
on that intimate relationship between husband & wife, I think is unhealthy for the relationship. What that relationship is, has to be defined by individuals according to their needs in a relationship.

Solution? I can only offer; Your reaction of 'devastation' is reasonable. Try to form a response before discussing it with your husband. Attacking him is not productive. Stick to: "I feel...", "I think the problem is...", "I think the solution is...."
Keep it simple, let go of results and allow him a complete response as well.

You are not alone, A.! Keep up the great work mommin'!

I think it depends on the person and if how they see it religiously and also how secure they are as a person. I do not consider it cheating, though if he was looking at the really nasty stuff I may have issues for a whole different reason, but I dont feel like he would be cheating on me. I am a big fan of the saying you can look, but dont touch. If however it is cause any intimate issues between you and your husband it is a problem. Your husband should honor your worries, but you should also know that he can still love you very much and still look at others. Also are you giving him the attention he needs. I know being a mom we sometimes forget to be a wife too. Not that I am saying this is anyones fault, but we all are human. Talk to him about your worries, but don't accuse him of anything. Be honest about your feelings, but validate what he is feeling too. Good luck.

Yes, I believe there are different forms of cheating. That is one of them. You are the only woman he should be looking at in a sexual way!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be praying for you!

I don't know if I would consider it cheating but it is very wrong. And if he does have a problem with it then it will only get worse with time. He needs to get help so you guys can have a healthy relationship again. I'm so sorry and good luck.

This is my friend's website. You may feel a little validated from it. noporn4kaye.blogspot.com

good luck!

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