Is Montesorri "Too Much"for My 4 Year-old?

I'd say yes it's too much. Our world these days make kids grow up so fast and the responsibility we place on them can be overwhelming. Choose a looser curriculum where they learn thru play.

I don't have experience with montessori myself, but I had a close friend pull her 4 year old out of a montessori school because she was told play is not essential to learning and is only a distant second to lessons.

She's too young to be burned out by too many lessons and not enough play time.

Is this a new teacher that she didn't have last year? Maybe you can just switch her to a different room. If not, try interviewing other Montessori schools and explain what your daughter doesn't like. Does the new school seem like they would be different enough, or do they seem to defend the reasoning of the first school? If you can't find anything, look for something that's not Montessori. I would certainly try to change her environment rather than try to change HER and start the whole nose-to-the-grindstone-sometimes-we-have-to-do-things-we-don't-want-to-do-because-life-isn't-all-fun-and-games lecture. Plus, if you listen to her and take action, she'll trust you to listen to her and help her through problems later.
She knows something isn't quite right.

Montessori schools vary widely, even ones that are certified. My 3 year old is in his second year at Crabapple Montessori in Alpharetta and he's thoroughly enjoying it. This summer, however, we had him to take him to Children Today Montessori (also certified), and he was miserable. He said the teachers were sad and mad and didn't love ANYONE. Yikes!

And even though he's happy now, I've been having an ongoing discussion with his teacher about the importance of imaginative play for preschoolers. (Which may be what your child is also missing with all her practical daily living lessons.)Maria Montessori got a lot of things right, but one important tenet was that the "first plane" (age 3-6), children need to learn about the real world and need top be "protected" from the exposure to fantasy and unreality because they don't know what's real and what isn't. However, anyone who has been served a piece of play-doh pizza by a 2 year old knows that the child has a grip on the fact that it's pretend. It's a pretty basic principle of Montessori, and so it's pretty ingrained into the curriculum, and yet... recent study of developmental psychology is providing evidence that that underlying principle was misguided.

Montessori is great, but it does very little imaginative play, and the teachers don't even seem to notice when it's going on during recess. E.g. My son came home and was all excited to tell me about how he got to be the Daddy Alligator at school, and who the mommy and baby and big brother alligators were and what they did. When I asked the teacher about it, she said it must have been on the playground. It didn't (and wouldn't) happen in the classroom - it's not the kind of thing they encourage.
This despite growing evidence that it's actually one of the BEST things they should be encouraging in preschoolers.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/27/magazine/27tools-t.html...

http://www.parentmap.com/content/view/129/462/

http://www.livescience.com/health/061204_mm_imaginary_fri...

they do not do this at my daughters montessori.. at this age weather a child finish his work or not should get outside play time. If she is not listening or something then they should speak to the parent.. or if he or she works slower on a lesson than the teacher should have them work on it it during free choice to finsh.. if it is that important.. sometimes my daughter takes longer on art projects so she finishes at the end of the day.
best of luck,
L.

Well to be honest kindergarten is way harder then it used to be. My son was at a prek and he had a free choice as well it wasn't a montessori school either. He had to choose something like writing, his name it was on paper that has those lines and you trace then get to do it yourself. He also had shapes to color if he wanted that or some fun math stuff. No it wasn't fun all the time but for some reason most of the time he liked it and did it so did the other kids. I have to say he started at 2 in a prek like school 2 mornings a week then at age 3 your got it 3 mornings...and 4 / 4 mornings except I added their fun friday he was bored at home. On those days they had art or dance etc. no writing/math etc.

Now back to kindergarten being more of a challenge then it used to be well, we had a meeting with his teacher just this morning and she was happy that our child like a few others came in knowing how to count to 100 and knew the entire alphabet. Others came in couldn't get past D couldn't get past 12. She hard alot of work laid out for her and for them.

If you are going to send her at age 5 to kindergarten you may want to keep her in some kind of prek but maybe this school isn't for her. There's others out there and the school my son went to made things fun, learning can be fun but also self control had to be learned some and being able to self direct at least on one thing. You have to remember that kids are kids and many times just want the fun...it's like dinner..is it a good idea to give her a cupcake and not the chicken and green beans? of course not.

If she's really not happy check out some local churches that have prek programs. That's what we did it was affordable and my son had a great teacher and experience.

Please take nothing as an insult just giving opinion and have 3 boys I do know what it's like and have left a prek before found one that matches one of my kids better.

best wishes

HI E.,
Wow, I am a little surprised as the concept of montessori usually allows for more play with learning. I would ask if you could spend the day with her at school so you know what time is being spent where. It is very important developmentally to have plenty of play associated learning. There is plenty of academic years, these are really the ones to learn the more abstract social skills, and the non-rote learning.
After you spend some time there, you may decide either she is not ready, needs another year, or find out that something there she is having a hard time with (teacher personality, etc).
Best of luck, J.

E.,

I am a teacher, not montesorri, but I am familiar with the program, and I know we are not allowed to take away recess for academic or behavioral reasons, whether the child is 4 or 14 (I teach newborns up to 8th grade). I do understand that children should be held responsible for their work, but you need to have resonable expectation. I am assuming she is in a mixed age class (4,5 and 6 year olds)? Do you know why she isn't finishing her work? There could be so many other things going on. At this age, the goal I had for my daughter (she just turned 5) was to grow a deep love of learning and love going to school. She now loves school and has been so much successful academically and socially this year. I would talk to the teacher and then the director if that gets you no where. Sorry for my ramble, I am trying to do too many things at once. Keep us updated.

A.

I cannot speak to montessori, as I am unfamiliar with their program, however if it were my child, before I decided anything I would ask to speak with the teacher, soon. My focus would be on seeing what constitutes a completed lesson in each of these areas. I would also ask how many children routinely finish all....not to compare the children, but to evaluate the work being asked of them, objectively.
With this information, I would speak with the teacher about my child being upset at missing recess and not wanting to attend school, explain that I understand the need for consistency, learning, etc. and request an alternate strategy for her. Then see how open the teacher is to working with you, and your daughter.
That would be the deciding factor in making a change.

Having said this, I can tell you that when my younger daughter was 4 and was beginning to read, when I asked her pre-k teacher about reinforcing this at school, I was told, "Our primary focus is on socialization." Very wise words, looking back, even though at the time, I thought What?!Why am I paying for that?
They have a lifetime of learning ahead and it IS equally important to be a cooperative individual in group settings.

This is such a "highly charged" situation, I wouldn't decide anything in the heat of the moment. Evaluate all the pros and cons of changing her school and then decide based on good information, and what your gut instinct is telling you.

Good luck with your decision.

It may be too much for her with too much academics right now. This would be aterrible time to learn to hate school and learning. If another setting is available Iwould certainly try it. V.

I've never dealt with private or Montessori schools, but IMO that sounds a little to much for a 4yr old. That is something my 9yr old has to do if she doesn't get her homework finished is do it at recess time.

Good luck
S.

You should be upset. 4-year olds need a break from learning and the physical exercise. Besides who said that recess can't be a "learning experience".

My 4-year old is in a "free" Georgia Pre-k Montesorri program in a private daycare as well. I believe that I have heard them say that recess is MANDATORY by the state. I know they have said that for the younger classes. Here is the link to the bright from the start page, which runs the GA Pre-k programs - http://decal.ga.gov/

I would definatly get with the teacher and see what they think. Not all programs are right for every child, Montesorri or not.

This makes me sad! No, I don't really think that a 4 year old should be held to this degree of responsibility. I think it will likely lead to an early burnout/hatred of schoolwork. I went to a private school at that age and I clearly remember the way I felt when we were kept in from recess to complete this or that. It can be very depressing. It also reminds me of my 13 year old, recently after years of high test performance and excellent grades, she melted donw over a math course. We found out that she knew she was faltering, she had asked for help but couldn't get the material. She dangerously internalized this, but as soon as I found out I told her by all means to drop the AP and get in the class where the material makes sense/ is appropriate. I think the same for all children,really. It IS important to make good grades, but it is equally important to balance achievement with much needed r&r. Especially at the age of four. Recess *is* learning, having fun *IS* learning, socializing *is* learning and pretty darn important learning too. I say all this without knowing the level of work that is asked of her in her montessori class, it's just that I thought that montessori classes allowed for children to complete assignments at a pace that complimented their learning style...maybe I should read up? I think I will do that, keep us up to date I hope? And give your darling lots of love!

T.

E.,
Being a Montessori teacher, I would recommend that you talk to the teacher about what is going on in the classroom and at home. Perhaps there is more to the story from the classroom point of view and the two of you can come up with some plan for your daughter! Montessori is such a good approach, but isn't always for every child. Good luck!

This has definitely been my experience with 4 yr olds. Obviously, I can't speak to your specific montessori program, but my experience was that playing was much more important for my 4year old twins. I started trying to homeschool them last year when they were four. By October, I was getting pushback from them on the academics. At the same time, I was watching with amazement at how creatively and cooperatively they played together at all sorts of things from block building to roleplaying all kinds of stories we read together. I felt very strongly that this kind of "free play" was where they needed to be spending their energies, and I stopped the academics. We did very little formal "schooling" and only what they were genuinely interested in (mostly, art, hands-on science experiences, history stories like Little House on the Prairie books; NO reading or writing work unless they initiated it). Now, they are five and working happily on kindergarten, even asking for school many days. Personally, I think that backing off like I did last year really helped us get to this point. Hope this helps. Good luck!

In my opinion, a child of any age, but especially a four year old, should never have to miss going outside.Children should have some other form of discipline while inside or after they come back in.I also don't believe a four year old should have to pratice time management, she'll have to do that soon enough. Little people should be allowed to be little, it doesn't last long and a four year old shouldn't have a care in the world. God gives us intuition and if you aren't comfortable with the situation then I think you have your answer. Best wishes!

WOW!
That is very harsh on a 4 yr old! as a preschooler you are right she should be focused more on fun than learning. 4 yr olds learn through play and that's how she should be learning. I would take her out of that school. Most normal "daycare" programs these days have academic lessons but they do it through play and don't punish children for not finishing work by taking recess away.