33 answers

Is Medication the Right Choice for My Son with ADD?

Hello, all! My 9 year-old son has recently been diagnosed with ADD, and I am under a lot of pressure to medicate him. He is an incredibly sweet, creative, and loving boy, with an amazing personality, but he has difficulty focusing in school, which makes life harder for him. He also is having an increasingly hard time making friends, because his maturity level is still at 2nd grade goofy, rather than at the level of his more serious 4th grade peers. We are doing a 504 for him, and have started with fish oil, and increased organic food choices. I am a totally granola mom, and am very wary of medication. I am worried that it will change his fabulous personality, and that it will give him the idea that problems can be solved with drugs (prescription or otherwise), all so that he can fit more easily into the good student mold. However, his teachers and peers have a negative view of him, which is affecting his self-esteem. This is the same child who turns into a hypochondriac at school and during homework. I don't want my "hippie-mom" beliefs to work against him, but then again, there are reasons that I have these beliefs. Medication is a very scary thing, and I don't want to change an amazing child, who in my mind is perfect in every way. advice?

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

I was amazed by all the responses I received! Obviously a hot button issue. Everyone was very thoughtful and helpful. We have made an appointment with a child psychiatrist that we trust, and intend to go into that meeting open to trying medication, coupled with alternative therapies and lots of love and understanding. We'll see how it goes from there. Thanks, again! C.

Featured Answers

Both of my nephews are on meds for there adhd and it hasn't changed there personality. They have become more settled at school have made a lot of friends and are learning at a much faster pace as there body stays still and there brain can focus on what they are doing. I am not hugely into medicating a child either but for some kids it is the best help for them at school. Just a warning it took a few trys to get the dose right for my nephews you want them settled not drugged so if you do start him on meds he should no seem like a robot or completely passive then they have him on two high of a dose. Good luck to you.

C.
What you need to do is get ahold of a Doc. that handles ADD kids. How is his attention span can he sit still & how his writing.Where do you live at . And if you want to talk more I can give you my E-mail address .

C., where do you live? I am in Boise Idaho but i know i get these questions from all over.

Please call me ###-###-#### or Email me personally and I will give you some information that might help without the drugs.

thx. Marciab
____@____.com

More Answers

I agree with you C. and respect your apprehension about drugging your child. No one can give you any answers on the long term side effects of these drugs. As Dr. Robert Mendelsohn once noted: "No one has ever been able to demonstrate that drugs such as Cylert and Ritalin® improve the academic performance of the children who take them.... The pupil is drugged to make life easier for his teacher, not to make it better and more productive for the child."

Check out these websites:

http://www.all-natural.com/add.html
http://www.thebook.com/livewell/info_add.htm
http://intelegen.com/nutrients/add.htm
http://www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/ritalin.htm

Also these books:

Excitotoxins: The Taste That Kills - Russell L. Blaylock
Health and Nutrition Secrets by Russell L. Blaylock
Without Ritalin : A Natural Approach to ADD - Samuel A. Berne
Twelve Effective Ways to Help Your ADD/ADHD Child - Laura J. Stevens
Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World - Jeffrey Freed

If you don't read anything else, read the two books by Dr. Blaylock. They're not specific to ADD/ADHD but I think will be very helpful.

If we're so quick as parents to give our kids drugs for every symptom that pops up to "cover it up" or make it go away, can we really be surprised that they self medicate in their adolescent years w/ alcohol, pot, cocaine, ecstasy, etc. We are teaching them that drugs solve problems. The only difference (IMHO) between legal and illegal drugs is who gets paid. Sorry, just my opinion. I'm more scared of the legally medicated adult out there driving around than the teen who has had a couple of beers. Not because the teen is less dagerous, but because there are alot more doped up adults. Sorry, I digress...

Try to find a good doctor to help you sort through all this info if you need to. Some Chiropractors, Naturopaths, Homeopaths, Acupuncturists, etc. can be a big help. Stay away from the Chiropractors who are wannabe MD's. Find someone with your understanding and values. They can be a big help.

Good luck,
____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful

Hey C.!
I wish there were a right or wrong answer to your question. I can only tell you my experience. It is so funny reading your email today when my husband and I just had a meeting at our son's school yesterday with the school psychologist, all of his teachers, his therapist, etc. My son is 8 and will be 9 in March. He was diagnosed with ADD just before he turned 6. We chose to put him on medication at that time because he had the exact same behaviors you are describing. He had no friends at school because he acted like such a maniac. Homework was impossible and sometimes he would just hide under his desk and shut down. We chose to put him on medication because we felt so badly for him- and frankly we were getting pretty frustrated and wanted something that would help him be able to control himself. We started him on Ritalin which seemed to work really well but he often forgot to go to the nurse at lunch time for his second dose. Eventually we switched to Concerta which was only a once a day dosing. His grades did improve and his social skills improved as well. However, the side effects were heart breaking. He became anorexically thin, even though he was on the lowest possible dose. He couldn't sleep at night and had horrible bags under his eyes. He didn't laugh any more, and became zombie like. We felt like we had lost our son. The behaviors were gone, but so was Mitch. After a year and a half on meds I decided I was done. I wanted my son back even if it meant putting up with his behaviors again. It is the best decision we have made. We still deal with focus issues with him everyday, but he laughs again and is back to his normal personality which I missed so much. We have been taking him to Judy Gonnerman here in Lincoln. She is a Psychologist who works with Neuro-feedback and Bio-feedback on ADD and ADHD children. The name of her practice is First Step Recovery and I highly recommend her. She is located at 40th and South streets in the office building there. Mitch's grades have plummeted this fall which is hard to see because he is so dang smart. His brain waves are incredible and I am told that he has similar brain waves to Einstein (who also had ADD). He just struggles to focus. We have come up with a plan at our school to help him stay on task by offering a few breaks each day in a sensory room where he has specific activities to complete that only take a few minutes, but they give his brain a chance to slow down so he can go back and focus on his work. Chewing gum is also another thing we are trying. When he sits down to complete writing tasks which are the hardest thing for him to do he is going to be allowed to quietly chew gum as even that small activity can help him to remain calm and focused. I don't know if any of this helps. I will say that his behaviors after being on medication are not as bad as they were before. So maybe it was the right thing to do for awhile. I am not saying that I would never put him on medications again either. I just would never put him on anything that takes him away from me like last time. Some friends of ours have their daughter on a patch called Daytrana 10 mg. They love it and haven't had the side effects that we did. It's hard to see a brilliant boy fail 3rd grade because he just can't focus and that is the only reason I would try meds again. I am not ready for that yet. I want to try some other things first. I wish you lots of luck with your son. I know I love my little guy so much and just want whats best for him- but the answers aren't always cut and dry - I guess we have to go through a trial by fire to find what works for Mitch. Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Hello C.,
I would not put my child on drugs. Most of the time I have read that ADD is really about the blood sugar. Maybe you could have this checked by another doctor? Cod liver oil is a good start but cutting out the granola is also good. Lack of focus can be caused by so many other things. Yeast is one of them. Sugar feeds it. Too many doctors lable everything in one package. You can check out www.mercola.com and www.drday.com and do a search about ADD/ADHD and get an eye opener. Both of these people are literal medical doctors that care about peoples health. Please do a careful search first before you make a discision. My son's mother in law put our daughter in law on ridlin and she still feels so bad that she did that to her. Her daughter is very beautiful ballet dancer/teacher now. Thus her hyper had a purpose. I will pray for you because I know God has the answer for you. And nothing is impossible with Him. A.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi C.! Only moms without children with ADD or ADHD don't believe it exists. My 15 year old has ADHD and was only diagnosed last summer. She is highly intelligent and participates in gifted and talented classes. She was reading high school level books in the first grade. When her teenage years and hormones kicked in - so did her inability to focus. She has always been excitable and always took hours to eat a small meal. Her grades began to fail as she had to move from classroom to classroom and she would forget her assignments. She doesn't even have a self-preservation voice to tell her to not do things like jump down a flight of stairs!

She was placed on Concerta and it changed our lives for the better. Her 5 year old sister didn't have to worry about toys being grabbed from her hands. When a five year old notices behavior, you know something is up! My oldest is not a zombie - her personality is more focused and I can see her clearly without the fog of ADHD. She can shine without being distracted. Sure, she has to watch her weight on a daily basis for fear of losing too much but it's a small price to pay. She is learning about herself and if I can help her to do that with medication then there is no harm in that. You wouldn't keep someone with depression off of medication because you have never experienced daily deep depression and it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist, either.

Keep an open mind and do what is best for your child and your family - whatever you decide.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi C.,
My niece just made me aware of this site and I saw your message. I have been using a nutrition formula for almost 14 years now that is safe for all ages and I know quite a few mom's who use it for their children. Many of them have been diagnosed ADD and ADHD. After using the nutrition, many of the symptoms have gone away and the children are calmer, able to retain friends, are doing much better in schoool and in genenral are healthier. If you would like to talk to some of these other mom's about the product, let me know.
____@____.com
C.

1 mom found this helpful

I believe that you need to follow your motherly instincts. You are the only one who really knows best about your child. Don't let the opinions of others change your mind. It sounds like he is a wonderfully creative boy, who just wants to express himself in a different way than what others may feel is the right way. Don't ever stop letting your children explore there desires and dreams. You seem to be doing a wonderful job! I understand you when you say you are a granola mom. But I believe we have been given a gift to care for our children in a loving, positive and amazing way.

We can help change the world through our children, they have so much potential, so why would we stop their progression? You only have a few more years with him until he is grown out of the house, make it the best years! You know what is best for your child, I think you will make the right decision for him. Stay strong, it is a ruff world out there!

1 mom found this helpful

I know you have a lot of other advice already. I don't know where you live, but if you have a learningRx close to you. PLEASE try this. I am a trainer and have had numerous students with ADD, and has helped all of them. Please look on the web at their site. I reallly encourage you to please check it out.

1 mom found this helpful

You are going to find opinions from one extreme to the other. Nobody on here can decide if your child needs medication. Only you, your child and the doc can decide that. I think we would all encourage you to make any non-pharmaceutical changes that you can to help him, but if it comes down to the fact that he needs medication, then do what is best for him, not you. There is a huge stigma with ADD meds, but you have to let that go and let his needs guide you. Billions of people are alive and well solely because of medications. Don't look at it as trying to 'fit a mold' but to give him the most productive and happy life that you can. If he needed a heart medication, would you give it to him? Probably. Sometimes, problems can be solved with drugs...and that's why they are made! Yes, there are too many people on too many drugs but as long as your intention is to help your son, you and he will be fine. You will be vigilant and attentive to changes/side effects and you will be involved in all the medical decisions. You are not giving up if you choose medications, you are simply trying another option to help him! Stay confident in your choices, whatever they may be...you know him best and love him the most!!
~L.

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