62 answers

Is It Too Soon to Get Ready for Baby?

Okay, so, a discussion my husband and I are frequently having is it's too soon to get things ready for the arrival of our son (our first baby) due May 14th. He thinks it's too soon and I feel like we're running out of time.

I will admit that it's too soon to put together the swing, I'm just so excited and want to see what it looks like put together, but he won that battle. We don't have the essentials yet like travel system stroller/car seat, breast pump and etc. Now, our families back home are sending us baby stuff, but we have no idea what we're getting. I keep wanting to go out and get items but I'd hate to end up with duplicates and we don't know when to expect some of these packages.

I wanted to start getting things ready like organizing our home and baby items in a few weeks. We are going on a babymoon to a resort and spa in two weeks and after that it's all about baby. We already agreed to do the rest of our essentials shopping the first week of April, but now my husband is saying that even THAT is too soon to get things ready for our baby. He thinks that we can wait til the week of the due date, maybe a couple of weeks before. He even said that he can put anything that needs to be put together the day we get back from the hospital. I think he was kidding, but it was hard to tell because I know he's getting annoyed that I want to have everything done way before the due date :)

I know that I need to be patient and control my excitement until we go shopping. But it's starting to concern me that my husband wants to wait so long. I can't seem to make him understand that the baby has his own schedule and can come early. I even told him that we're getting our hospital bags ready mid April no if, ands or buts about it. He huffed about it, but said that was okay. It's so difficult to compromise on anything with him. I just want to know if I'm the crazy one here, or does my husband have a good point? How soon did you other moms start getting things ready for your babies? Any suggestions on when we should start preparing, or any suggestions on compromising with my husband would be appreciated.

Pulling my hair out,
N.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you to everyone who gave me helpful responses! So, after reading all of the responses, I had my husband sit down and read them. Of course he didn't read all of them, but he got the point. He did admit that he was ready to be a father, but didn't want to be forgotten as a husband. I reassured him that that couldn't happen because he is the first love of my life.

We had a good sincere talk about everything. I told him how much it meant to me to at least start doing something to calm me down, and he was very sweet and took me shopping a couple days later for just some baby things. He realized that this is totally a woman thing and said that he would try his best to be more understanding. We then made a plan for when we were going shopping for certain items and when we wanted to start putting certain things together. I did put some things together because I couldn't wait any longer and he got upset that he didn't get to do it (but this is after me asking him to do it a couple times).

This past week we've been washing baby clothes and etc. We're going shopping for the rest of our essentials this week which we are both looking forward to. He also got the hint that babies come early too. We're finally on the same page and everything is getting more and more exciting. A big thanks to you ladies, because I don't think he would've been this understanding if I didn't have your responses for him to read.

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The bottom line is, do whatever feels right for you. You don't really need anything for a newborn expect blankets, diapers, and maxipads for you. My girl came before I had anything ready and I was homebound for 3 weeks with just those things and we're fine. It wasn't fun, but it was fine. My point is, everyone is different and you should get ready when you want to. Also not to stress about buying a lot of stuff, cause its just not necessary in the beginning.

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<laughing> Sounds like he has the bit between his teeth on refusing to "hurry up & wait", one more time.

So: You're NOT crazy, and he's right, too.

Quite frankly...all you need is a car seat to take baby home in (they can sleep in that beside, or on your bed, if it came to that), and your breasts. Everything else is extra. Granted, really really NICE extras (thank god for diapers), but really...carseat and boobies. The car seat is required by law, & fortunately we all come with breasts.

So breathe and relax.

That said: Everything you do now you don't have to do either when you're bigger and heavier and more awkward*, or with an infant in tow.

*((Those last few weeks, you may have heard, the powers-that-be must have made miserable on purpose. By the time your child is being born you've BEEN READY and DO NOT CARE about labor one bit, all you want is TO BE DONE with being pregnant, for at least a week if not two. It's also possible that by this time you'll have seriously discussed how brilliant birds are for laying eggs.))

Also...Babies. Come. Early. Mateo may already be in your arms the week of your due date. Course, they also come late. Not noticeably punctual, infants and small children. My own son came a few weeks "early". At over 10lbs, boy am I glad he didn't wait for the "due" date.

So, while we already had the crib/swing/etc. built and waiting by week 30...is there any real problem with waiting? Not as long as you've got carseat, breasts, and more patience than me!

:) Z.

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No, if your baby is due in May it's not too early at all. When we were expecting our first one, I waited for 3 months before I told people we were pregnant, so buying things was kept to a minimum at our house, but after that, we bought one major item a month. Our first big purchase was the bassinet and it's liner, the next month the stroller, then came the nursery furniture (crib, dresser, changing table). I bought blankets, layette things as they were on sale. My bumpers, dust ruffle, comforter was another large purchase. I made my own diapers (sewed diaper flannel) and crocheted blankets. But each month we made a major purchase and set things up as we got them in the nursery. Saving everything for the last month is pushing it. Babies can come early, your energy level will spike (nesting). You have to wash all the new baby clothes before they're used. So start now and have things all together by mid April. Your friends and family will probably have a shower for you and you won't get everything you need, and if you get doubles, you'll find that you will either use them or exchange them for something you don't have. But don't expect your friends and family to buy you everything you need. You'll be disappointed. Enjoy each moment, it's all magic and wonder.

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N.,

If it makes you feel any better I went through the same thing with my daughters dad. Is this your first? If it is it is totally normal for you to be worried that nothing is getting done. I felt like nothing ever got done. I barely finished getting everything put away and set up before I had my daughter. Just know that you are not alone in that sense. Every new mom goes through the same thing.

If you ever need anyone to talk to about anything. I am here for you.

S.

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This is called nesting. It's completely normal. Maybe you could get him a pregnancy book that talks about how totally our of your control this feeling is. How you instictively NEED to prepare for your baby. I would go ahead and follow your instincts and prepare. If you are worried about duplicate items, mention your thoughts to your family about what you are considering buying and see what they think. If the gifts are meant to be a suprise, do it tactfully. If not, just come out and ask if you need to get the item or if you should wait for it to arrive from them.

Getting ready for a baby is a HUGE deal and can't be done in the few short weeks just before it's birth. NO WAY. You will be running around non-stop trying to catch up for missed time.

This preparation urge is there for a reason. Instict tells you that you need to be ready for your baby. Try to explain it to your husband. If he won't listen, go ahead and do it anyway and then when he says something, give him "doe eyes" and say "but honey, I really couldn't help it... I don't know why. I tried, but I just HAD to do it." This worked for me for 8 months straight during each pregnancy. (times 3) Then there was the ever popular: "I know, but just think: now we don't have to do it later!" :)

Good luck and congratulations!

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It is never too early for you. You are in the last stage of your pregnancy and your hormones are doing a doozy on you:-) Your husband should try to be supportive of you and if you want to put up the swing do it...with or without him.

You are the one who will be pushing your beautiful child out...do what you want to make yourself feel less nervous about the whole thing.

Explain to him that you won't have the energy to do any of this in the couple of weeks before the baby comes, so if he wants your help, now is the time. Yes the baby can come early, but most likely will not.

If I were you, I would hold off on buying things at this point. For a newborn you are breastfeeding, you only need diapers, clothes, a place for them to sleep, and a nursing bra (remember that you will probably swell up when your milk comes in so don't get one that is too tight...or choose a couple and save the receipts). Oh yeah, and a good camera.

Just keep talking to your husband about how you are feeling. It is okay for you to do things in advance. If it makes you feel better to pack your hospital bag, or start washing the baby's clothes and putting them away...it won't hurt anything. He may think you are crazy, my husband did, but if it puts your mind at ease it is okay.

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Haha! You're nesting! Women get a hormonal surge right before baby is born that gives us this insatiable urge to clean and organize and get things ready for the arrival of our little one. Men don't have these hormones, and are therefore infuriatingly practical.

I completely understand your excitement. I was there, too. It IS a little early to start putting things together, especially since gifts are still arriving. Can you do anything with the items you already have and know you'll keep? Wash and fold tiny baby clothes? Paint the nursery walls (with zero VOC paint)? Make cute curtains for the baby's windows?

Congrats on your impending arrival. I was so excited to meet my son, and he did not disappoint!

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no, you arent crazy....and its not too soon. there really is a lot to be done and even if your husband thinks it can be done quickly, its part of your preparing process... you need to do it for your peace of mind... i am guessing the reality hasnt hit him yet and probably wont until the baby comes, at least not fully... for you, you feel the baby and your body has been going through so many changes. "nesting" is natural, and dont stifle it. if there was some way you could help him understand that you need it, because it does help you bond with your baby... there are some good books out there for dads to be - maybe you could pick one up for him - that may also help.... i wish you the best!

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Honey, you are NESTING. It's completely natural for you to want to get everything ready for the baby.
What harm does it do to set the swing up early? You are excited! I painted and put up wall-paper border when I was only two months pregnant, for pete's sake!

I think this is something you and your husband need to talk more about. He doesn't need to be "in charge" of everything. And the more he is able to understand your feelings about it, the better. I am not saying to dismiss his opinion, but it would be okay to just go ahead and get some things ready on your own, and leave him out of that part since he doesn't really have that same sense of urgency.
Plus, it sounds like he wants you to focus on HIM while you still can, before the baby arrives and has all sorts of demands on your attention.
This is your first baby, and it will change your lives and your marriage - be prepared for that. And it sounds like that is making him a little nervous and he's trying to put it off as long as he can. Be understanding and sensitive to his feelings too.

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My short answer is that now is the perfect time, at the end of your pregnancy you will have very little energy and your belly will make it hard for you to assemble things. The last few weeks can be rough,.

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HA! Your husband is being majorly silly. You never know when the baby will come or what kind of baby you will have!

Our son came 10 days early and was (and still is) a very demanding little dude. We were surprised by it and did not have bags packed, the Pack N' Play put together and our house was a MESS (I had morning sickness the ENTIRE time-ug!). We were up until 3 in the morning the night before my emergency induction for low amniotic fluid, trying desperately to get some of these things done. It sure didn't help with having energy for laboring, for either of us!! He would never sleep more than 20 minutes at a time, unless he was held or constantly bounced in his bouncy chair.

My point is that you probably won't be getting much done with a newborn in the house. You will both be tired and very busy with your new son. You're going to want to spend every spare second sleeping when he does, getting a shower in, or just staring at him in awe. ;) Also, in our experience, people who show up in the days after you have a baby are much more interested in seeing/holding the baby, not cleaning your house, or putting swings together...

Also, (not to be scary) a lot of things can happen at the end of a pregnancy that would make it difficult for you to participate in getting things done. Even being told to stay off your feet puts a lot of things off limits for a nesting mama.

If you want/need to shop before you have your showers or gifts arrive from out of town, just keep your receipts and/or register with the places you buy from. Both Target and BRU's return policies are a lot nicer if you have registered for the items you are trying to return.

I would start doing smaller things now and after your trip get those bigger things done. Have your husband read all of these responses for some "real life" experiences.

Good luck to you and congrats on your son!! :)

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I started getting ready for our new baby right after I got pregnant. I've even bought used clothes in both blue and pink! Luckily my husband doesn't care. I think now is a perfect time to get ready. May really isn't that far off! Good luck!

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I would recommed waiting until all the showers are done, and the out of towners have sent their gifts, before you go shopping. I would also recommend having essentials(changing table, car seat, bassinet) in place before going to the hospital - which means week 35, since week 37 is officially full term. Neither of you are going to want to do any additional labor after having labored with the baby. It seems like a good idea to wait until after the babymoon to really prep. If its really killing you, reorganize your closets, clean the house, make meals to freeze, read, get a jump on thank you notes, announcements, something to help you prepare w/o turning the house into a nursery. (truthfully, baby won't need its own room for 3mo) I did not have a big urge to nest, and consequently, one friend cleaned my house and did my laundry while we were at the hospital, and an other friend spent the two days after we got home helping to organzie babyland. Congratulations and best of luck!

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No, it is not too soon to start getting ready for a baby. Don't wait until the last minute like I did. I was in such denial & it was hard after the baby came. I was packing my hospital bag at 3 am after my water broke. What if you have an early delivery or a C-section? You may bring the baby home sooner than you think. After the delivery there are so many changes your body goes through physically & emotionally. You are going to be exhausted & irritable. Taking care of a newborn consumes so much energy, sometimes you will forget to eat & take a shower. And the lack of sleep is so difficult. It is all about survival in the first few weeks. Assembling equipment after getting back from the hospital is the last thing you want to do, believe me. Also don't forget as your pregnancy progresses your quality of sleep will decrease & you will be more tired. It will be more difficult to do things physically. So I would say get as much done as you can right now before you get too big & uncomfortable. At least assemble baby's crib, changing table, get baby supplies (basic clothes, diapers, etc) ready, buy a breast pump, & freeze some meals. Just know that having a baby will be the most exciting & happy but at the same time stressful time in your life. Shorten your to-do list as much as you can BEFORE the baby comes. Good luck!

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It sounds like you are very excited for your new baby! That is very understandable with your first. I started getting the room ready after I was around 4 months pregnant, so I don't think it is too early for you right now. What I have learned with my second son, however, is not to go out and buy everything you THINK you may need until you have the baby and find out what you really need. We bought all kinds of gadgets just to find out that they were not at all necessary. Since I had taken them out early, I wasn't able to return them to the store, and we lost quite a bit of money on them. It was the same with clothes. I was so excited to get the closet organized that I put the clothes in and took all of the tags off. That was a big mistake because as soon as my son was born, he was wearing 3-6 month old clothes, and I had a bunch of newborn items I could never use! Anyway, I would just take it easy and remember to get enough sleep now since you won't be getting it for quite some time after the baby is born. Good luck to you!

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From experience (our first was born 5 weeks early after an uneventful, typical and totally healthy pregnancy) I would say that April is NOT too soon. Our daughter did not have to spend any time in the hospital (3 days) so we returned home with a brand new baby and no energy or time to go and get the things that we needed. Luckily, co-workers and friends had stocked us up and even got us a carseat so we could leave the hospital. I DO NOT advise this :). It is stressful enough to bring home your first baby (totally exciting, too!) and you do not want to add to the work you or your husband have to do those first few days.

I would just plan to have things ready 5-6 weeks ahead so there isn't any stress leading up to the big day. Congratulations and Good Luck!

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A due date is just a ballpark. Both of my kids were born two weeks early. They don't usually arrive on the day that the doctor says they should, they have a mind of their own and when it is time, it is time.

At 7 months pregnant is a perfect time to get the essentials done. You need diapers, snap shirts, gowns and sleepers, etc. Get those and start getting things ready. It is harder to do when you are bigger and have less energy. Things won't get don't over night.

Just tell your husband that your are in your nesting and that you are feeling too much stress when you can't start getting ready. Remind him that the stress isn't healthy.

Congrats and good luck. Oh, have him read some info. on web pages about nesting and baby due dates and actual birth dates.

D.

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It is ringing throught the responses it is not too early. when i found out i was prego with my third the nest day i went out and starting a pre-sex knowing shopping spree.

The other thing to keep in mind, god for bid, baby come a little early. you want to be prepared early. My first was a week and a half early. but he tried to make and appearance at 27 weeks...so really this stage of the game you could never be ready too soon.

***i am not trying to scare you. just giving you more reason to win the battle with your hubby***

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As long as you are past your first trimester, there is no such things as too soon. You can never be too prepared. It is built into a woman's instincts to prepare the home when she is pregnant. Try to explain that to your husband or even have your OB explain it to him and express to him that not doing something that your body is screaming at you to do is very stressful. Since you can do nothing to make this baby come any faster, you feel like you need to be DOING SOMETHING. Ask him to just indulge you and let you nest. Also, consider that the reason he is hesitant is because he is nervous about becoming a father and having the house look like a baby lives there makes it all too real sooner than it has to be. My husband freaked out when he saw the stroller, the car seat, the crib, and the swing all put together and in our house for the first time because suddenly, he realized that it is really going to happen, and sooner rather than later.
It is important to be ready for the baby at least 4 weeks before the due date because it is so common for babies to come 1, 2, 3, and even 4 weeks early. You don't want to be in labor and freaking out that you never even got the crib set up. Then hubby has to go out and grab the first car seat he can find instead of you both searching together and considering features.

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Hopefully some friendly advice. The biggest thing first is to figure out if your husband is just anxious about the baby coming. And if he is, that really shouldn't be a problem either. You have some great resources there on post (I read some of your other posts and see that you are on Ft Lewis). I am pretty sure your BX still has layaway--- USE IT!! I am on Whidbey Island and watched my sale ads here and down there (we used Madigan resources to get pregnant) to get things I wanted on sale and with layaway I could purchase them and have them stored until I was ready to bring them home (as long as I could anyway). Of course on here you haven't listed your rank but you may be eligible for WIC on base and you can usually get breast pumps free or for little charge from them (not sure if that is for everyone but is a military perk) - check is out before you purchase a pump. This is something else you have available at the BX (I got mine there). Use layaway because a pump is one thing you can't take back once opened.

I suggest looking at cribs and mattresses as well (I think you guys have a furniture store there with that stuff). I bought my crib at a great price on base but the mattresses they carried on base were not sized correctly to fit it so I had to find another location for it.

I would suggest that a bassinet and/or the crib is really the only things to have put together to make sure you have all the pieces and everything fits right within the next month. Other than the car seat. A stroller/travel system is even debateable as the car seat is all you really need. The seat and crib are really your biggest expenses. I was actually really glad I didn't have a travel system as the strollers with them are so big and heavy to move around. I had a car seat that I bought a stroller "bottom" for that the car seat was the seat for the stroller. The bottom had a basket and lots of room (I can't remember off hand what it was called) - I used it to fly from Seattle back to the midwest with no problems - and it only weighed like 5 lbs!

As far as getting "ready" early, I suggest at least a month. I know I wasn't really ready to set up a whole lot of stuff real early but we did get the crib up about 6 weeks out - THANK GOODNESS! My little guy decided to break my water at 4 weeks early and I had to be medivaced down there to have him. We spent a week there with him in the hospital after I had an emergency c-section after 26 hours of unprogressive labor (great medical team there at Madigan though) so I wasn't up for anything when we got home but as we hadn't "planned" to not be home, we had to do a couple of things when we got home and it was EXHAUSTING!

They seemed to have some great classes and information there at Madigan for you guys so check into all the FREE classes you can take and take your husband along with you. It may help him get into getting ready. I would say that he is probably (at least partly) just doing the guy thing and thinking he can do it all later.

Look into buying big things now and check out the post paper classifieds for the swings/bouncers/play stations/pack n plays as there are probably lots of people wanting to sell things pretty cheap that are still in really good shape.

Sorry if this is kind of rambling but it is 0300 but I just want you to please understand what great resources you have available right there at the hospital and BX to try to help save money for things you have to have like diapers. I wish I had been down there sometimes during my pregnancy just for the different things available at Madigan that our smaller hospital didn't have (and since I did all my classes here with our facilities and would have liked to be more familiar with Madigan's - haha)

Good luck with your husband and your baby. Make a list of wants and needs for when he arrives and work on the needs. Small steps and sale ads might help to get your husband into getting ready.

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N.:

Congratulations! Reading between the lines here, it sounds as if you've entered the "nesting" phase of pregnancy, just a little sooner than some women. This is totally normal. As for your husband, what I've read, and experienced is that for men, the baby is really not "real" to them until around 6 weeks after the birth. Whereas for women, we become mothers the minute we find out we're pregnant. This is just my opinion, but it's probably that your husband is reluctant to get things ready because deep down, he is afraid.

Do what you need to do to be ready for the arrival of your baby. Focus on things that you don't need your husband's help with, like washing clothes, decorating, putting things away, cleaning, etc...

You never know if your baby will come early, and it's a good idea to have at least the carseat out of the box and ready to install, and a crib or pack-n-play if you don't plan to co-sleep. However, all of these things can be set up relatively quickly and really don't need to be done until a few weeks before your due date. If worse comes to worse, your husband can run to the store after you've given birth and buy one while you rest at the hospital.

You're excited, and getting ready is part of the fun. Try making a list of what you'd like to do before the baby comes and then let him pick things he'd like to help with, so it's on his terms. Good luck!

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NO, IT IS NOT TOO SOON. Dear N.'s husband- your wife is thrilled that your son is coming - she can't wait to see the love in Mateo's eyes when he looks at his Daddy. Nathasha's hormones are SCREAMING at her to get the baby's room ready- and get everything just so --- ( because once Mateo is here she will be too involved in caring for him to enjoy walking through his room- looking at his toys and his clothes - why can't she have that fun now???) What is it costing her to wait while time runs out?? Mateo will come when he does -- she should be ready.

Old Mom
aka -
J.

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I have had four children, and I know how exciting it is when you are expecting your first. I started getting things ready about two months before our first was born, getting the crib set up, starting lists of what we had and what we needed ,etc. I even had the car seat in the car for over a month before my son was born.

I will tell you that the last six weeks of pregnancy feel longer than the other eight months. You will get big and swollen and tired. The last thing you will want to do is set up that swing when you are 38 weeks along. And you are spot on about babies having their own time table. My best friend is pregnant with the her fifth child, and none of them have stayed in past 36-37 weeks. You just never know.

Why is your husband balking so much about this? Who cares if you get everything ready early? It has to be done, and you might as well get it out of the way so you can relax. As long as you aren't moving between now and then, or if you have a really small living area, okay, put it off so you aren't bumping into all the stuff. My advice is to try to be nice about it, but once you get back from vacation, put your foot down! They call it nesting for a reason, its MOther Nature's way of telling a mom its time to get settled. Best of luck

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I started almost as soon as I got pregnant! It's never too soon to figure out what you need, how things work, where they fit in your house, etc.. I'd buy things if you really want them, you can return them or return/sell/donate the gift ones. I suggest your husband read a book about getting ready for baby, my husband loved "my boys can swim!" what if something's missing or broken when you put things together? Don't want to wait to find out when you'll want to be using it! And yes babies can come early. I'd have a bag packed and everything ready at least two months ahead of time so you can just relax and get some rest before baby comes!

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I am the same way you are! I liked to be prepared way in advance. My husband sometimes thinks I am a bit nuts, but he just lets me do my thing. When I was pregnant with my first child I planned to have everything ready a month before my due date. My son ended up coming six weeks early. No warning at all, I had a perfectly healthy and normal pregnancy up to that point. Fortunately we were almost ready and our friends and family were able to help with the last few things we had not done or bought yet.

My second pregnancy I decide I wanted to be ready two months before my due date just in case. Good thing I did because I went into pre-term labor at 31 weeks. Again, I had a perfectly normal and healthy pregnancy up to that point. I was on bed rest for over a month and our daughter was born just under a month early. I sure was happy I had most things ready ahead of time with both pregnancies.

Both of my kids are very healthy despite being born early. The doctors never were able to really say why I went into labor early.

Having a baby early is so stressful, but knowing that things were ready helped reduce the stress. Tell your husband that he won't regret things being ready too soon, but he may regret things not being ready if the baby surprises you and decides not to wait until the week before your due date to meet you.

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You might get him his own book of what to expect as a new dad. He may be confused - disconnected since it is your body, concerned about your health and baby's, worried that he won't know what to do or be a good dad, etc. Have you attended Childbirth classes yet? That might be another good way to get him mentally ready. There also New Dad classes at most hospitals.

You might have him accompany you to your next check up, esp. if it is an ultrasound. If not, ask the doctor if you can hear the heartbeat. That may help make it more real for him. Then ask this question at the appt.. Some women need to go on bedrest, or deliver early so getting ready early is helpful.

Good luck!

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I think alot of it for your husband is that it hasnt completely sunk in yet. The reality will slap him in the face soon enough. You are not going crazy or being paranoid. I would suggest buying little things on your own. Have you gone online and made lists of what you want from the stores? This is great to let others know your theme and what you want and need. Plus you can keep track of what has been bought of your list( the store will check off the items).
My dh was the same way with ours. He finally got tired of me nagging and worrying about having everything that he went out with me to buy the items. This was about a month before my due date. Thank goodness I didnt wait around for him and got other items on my own before hand. My experience is they do this because they dont want to face that their will be a new one very very soon.
I wish you the best of luck, and dont feel bad for taking charge!

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It is ok to be super excited! You are having a baby! I had everything ready about 2 months early just in case, including my hospital bag. My boys came at 42 weeks, so we had time, but my friend went in for a regular check at 36 weeks and her blood pressure was too high, they kept her there and induced her. They had not even gotten a car seat yet since they thought they had a month to go!

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I don't think you're crazy at all. Not sure about your husband. :-) We painted the baby's room when I was 4 months along. THAT might be a little early- but... In all actuality- personally, I think that it's a good idea to actually have everything mostly ready a month before hand, and completely ready 2 weeks beforehand. And that would be for the fact that you mentioned- babies can come early. Our first was born 9 days early. My friend's first was born 5 weeks early- they weren't even done with baby classes. the practical factor is really that you could be just extremely exhausted in the last month of your pregnancy. Also- if you have animals, which we have a dog and 2 cats, it's good to get things set up beforehand so that they are used to the new furniture and everything before baby arrives. Our dog is a little neurotic about things with wheels. We actually took her on walks with the stroller empty so that she could get used to it before there was a baby in it. Priceless. As far as putting stuff together all the day the baby comes home??? Just make sure it isn't so complicated that you or your husband spends more time trying to figure out what goes where than just getting used to the fact that there is a new person in your home- and it's 1000% dependent on YOU TWO. I admit, I am a person that likes to have things done early (and so is my husband, so we didn't have to compromise on that- makes a big difference.) But, it is nice to not have to spend the last couple weeks doing everything, when for the last couple weeks- you may just feel like sleeping the whole time. It also gives you a couple weeks to just be together and emotionally prepare for "the baby invasion".

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Well, I had planned my last day at work to be 1 week before my daughter's due date and figured that I would use that week to get everything ready. I had my bag packed for the hospital and the crib set up, but most things hadn't been done yet when my daughter decided to arrive 10 days early. I wasn't ready! I had so much to do still! It all got done, just later than I thought!
When I was pregnant with my son, I was going to get it done early! Unfortuntely, he came a little over a month early and I had NOTHING ready! I had no hospital bag, no crib set up, nothing! My poor mother and sister we scouring the attic looking for the bassinet, the carseat, cleaning my house and setting up the swing, washing baby clothes while I was in the hospital! They couldn't find the bassinet, so my son had nowhere to sleep the first night! We never did find it. The next day my mom just went and bought a new one! Thank goodness for family!
Maybe if you explain to your husband that full term is considered 37 weeks and you could deliver any time after that, he will understand. Think about how tired you will be coming home from the hospital and how nice it will be to have everything set up.
If he still won't budge, spend some tim making and freezing meals during the month before you are due. That was a life saver for me in the first month post baby!

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It's not too early to get the basics like a crib or bassinet, car seat, and changing table. You want to have those things available, just in case the baby comes early. The first week of April is not too late, by any means, but I would not wait until the last two weeks of your pregnancy. Very few babies actually come on their due date, and the hospital won't let you take your baby home without an inspected carseat. You really don't want to have to worry about baby essentials when it's time to focus on baby's arrival.

What I would do is get the essentials -- bassinet, carseat, package of diapers, etc. -- no later than the middle of April. Then tell family and friends that you've gotten the essentials. Do you have a registry? Registries are a big help with presents coming from a distance.

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This is the advice I give every child bearing women, before she has children. Take care of as much as possible in your home as soon as possible. Not only about baby, but also with clutter, projects, etc. There is no time later.
The other thing is to do what YOU need to do to feel ready. Blessings...

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Hi- I haven't read other responses, but here's my 2 cents. I have a 2 year old daughter and a new baby arriving in June. I think it is much easier to prepare gradually throughout your pregnancy. Mother's have a strong nesting instinct during pregnancy that guys just don't have or understand. It is an exciting for both of you! You should get things ready! Put that swing together and see how it looks! Have fun with it!! Another thing to consider is that the further along you get in you pregnancy, the bigger you'll be and the more tired. Trust me, do not wait until April, do things now little by little while you have the energy. Babies don't always come on their due dates and you'll be too stressed and tired if you hold off on the organization and preparation. You want to be as relaxed and ready as you can before your sons arrival.
I can understand holding off on some purchases until you find out what family and friends are giving you, but this should be a fun time for you to get some special things for your son, get his room ready! I think the pregnant Mama trumps the husband on this one. Do what feels right to you. Best of everything for you and your family.

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i had - i mean just HAD to have the crib and bassinet up when i was about 7mths with my kids. i had everything ahead of time. the swing and all but the highchair were assembled. only then was my mind at ease because now my baby had a bed and toys and cloths and soap. it made it real. although i will admit that i was too scared to take the tags off of the cloths until like the day before my induction. it is different for daddy's-at least in my case. my husband was more laid back about it all. i freaked until all was ready. i say tell your husband that you are going crazy and go shopping. i also loved to look at the crib and things and imagine her in them.

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Well, I would say that its about 50/50 here. You DONT want to be going out and buying stuff until after the shower and gifts from friends/family are in. The only things you HAVE to have for the baby when he comes is: diapers, wipes, and some sleepers and onsies. Thats it. The other stuff is just to make things easier or "fun". As far as the swing goes, if its like the one we had they arent even supposed to use it till they can hold their head up good so thats a few months AFTER he is born. I would say your husband is probably putting things off in an attempt to keep life like it is. Too many baby things around reminds him of the baby and while I am sure he is excited he is probably also worried and stressing a bit about it. It is different for the daddy. It is very important to not loose sight of your husband in all the baby excitement. He needs you, he needs to be reassured over and over that you love him and he needs you to give him attention baby free. Now and after the baby is born. It can be very difficult to do during those first few months but husbands feel neglected and pushed away when there is a baby, and for good reason. We spend all our time either caring for the baby or talking about it. They feel replaced in your affections with the baby.
Instead of arguing with your husband about it, ask him why he wants to wait and listen to his reasoning. Agree with his good points and speak about your concerns in a soft non-confrontational way.
Here is what I did: 4 weeks before due date I started washing the new baby clothes and putting them away and getting my hospital bag packed. We had the crib set up, and diapers on hand. My son ended up being 2 weeks late though so I had SO MUCH time LOL.
It really isnt worth arguing over though, as it CAN be taken care of last minute and be just fine. We had a crib for our son but after one night realised he needed to be next to mom so went out and bought a bassinett. Hubby was off that first week from work so he ran to the store as needed (and there is always something you forgot or didnt know you needed).
Dont let this cause problems between you and your husband though, its not worth it.

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No it's not too soon, your only 10 weeks away from delivery and who knows the baby may come early. If your feeling up to it start getting some of the things you can handle done little by little each day. Your the one carrying the baby and that mother's instinct is starting to kick in so go with your gut feelings on these things. Most men don't have a clue on what all this baby stuff is all about. Good Luck with all baby preparing and enjoy every minute of it!!!

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Just like everyone has said you are "Nesting". Plain and simple. You are getting ready for the baby. I was getting ready about the same time you are now. Getting the baby's room ready, putting the crib together, organizing clothes by size in the dressers (we had tons of hand-me-downs which rocked) and the toys and diapers. You are excited and feel like you are running out of time. It's normal. Is your husband taking the two weeks off before you are due and will be home to help you get everything put together? If he is - he may want to help put the stuff together. Also another thing with getting ready "NOW" is that you are not going to get any smaller......hence bending over and squatting is not very confortable especially the last week of pregnancy. It was for me - I got huge.

Good luck and hang in there. Enjoy the moments as well. They go by quickly.

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Hi N.. What you are feeling is normal and part of the hormonal release of pregnancy. You are supposed to want to get the house ready, spend time cleaning up, organizing and generally nesting :)! I agree with you, it's not too early for bags and the like. Who knows what can happen? Can you agree to do one or two thing each week? For me it helped me to be excited for the time after pregnancy is over and realy solidified the pregnancy experiance to put together the room, research bottles, diapers and bath products that we felt comfortable with. It helped me not go overboard and feel overwhelmed after the babymoon.

Congratulations on your wonderful new exrience and best of luck.

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It's never too soon to get ready! Especially this close to the end. You never know if the baby will come early, so leaving things until the week of your due date is just crazy. I would say start getting ready at least six weeks before you are due. Also, the last month of pregnancy is always difficult in that it will start to get difficult to move around and you may even be uncomfortable. With me, my son's head was engaged for three weeks before I gave birth and so I was waddling around not able to walk more than 300 yards at a time, and even at that it took me forever. Believe me, the last thing I would have wanted to be doing at that point was shopping for baby stuff! It was all I could do to walk across the room! I would buy stuff now and keep the packaging, etc. If your family sends duplicates, return yours to the store. No big deal. As for setting stuff up, your husband can do that just before your due date, as long as he doesn't count on your help!

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YOU ARE NESTING! It is imperative that you do what you feel you need to or you are going to make yourself and him nuts. Plus being in the military...being prepared is what it's all about! I was in too btw. With my son I had everything set up and had refolded every piece of clothing and baby blanket at least a dozen times two months before his due date. Setting things up is all part of the fun, but I would compromise on the big things - but only at a 2 week mark. My son was two weeks early - my daughter a week early. You are probably exercising regularly, I imagine, to be ready for after baby PT test, which means your body could easily kick that baby out a few weeks early. Tell hubby that they do not (and I repeat DO NOT) stop labor once you reach week 37. Come at it from the being prepared angle. Wait to pack your bags as that really is a few weeks before due date kind of thing. But do what your body needs to do, and do not wait till the week of. That is waaaayyyy too late.

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No it isn't too early. Something could happen and that kid could come at any minute or you could get bedrest and your husband would have to do it all. You do not want to wait until the kid comes home because you can sour your milk if you are too active too soon. Ususally though after your first you are wiped out enough that it takes a couple of weeks to get back on your feet so you don't overdo it, oh and I will tell you now to sleep when the baby sleeps when the baby comes as much as you can.
You can always throw sheets over the baby furniture to keep the dust off of it. As far as shopping for items I would wait for the packages that are in the mail to arrive but you are going to want to pick out a few of your own blankets and clothes because it is fun and personal and of course a stuffed animal. Get diapers of different sizes because they grow quick, same with clothes. I don't recommend many things in newborn sizes because they grow so quick. Get a bouncy chair or hopefully someone will get you one, they are a life saver. Anyway, you husband will probably realize you guys are having a baby when he sees baby things around the house, the fun for them begins after the arrival because they don't get to experience the joy of feeling them grow inside.

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Hi N.-

I've had three babies and I was like you with each one. I think some of us definitely get the "nesting instinct" more then others! That being said, being prepared early can be a good thing. First off, now is probably the best time to undertake some of the organizing and preparations you'd like to do as this is when you'd have the most energy. Towards the end of pregnancy I was always so big and uncomfortable that my motivation for doing those kinds of things was way less and I wanted to rest more. Secondly, you never know when your baby will arrive. True, the first one often comes later then the due date, however my last baby (born November 1st) was three weeks early and because I'd convinced myself not to prepare too early, this time I was not completely ready!

I'd say listen to your body and have fun getting ready for baby. May is coming up fast, and though you shouldn't go crazy buying things before you see what people are giving you, you can be enjoying setting up the things as get them. Just make sure you get the car seat installed early. That can be kind of tricky and not something you'd want to worry about at the last minute!

Have fun and congratulations!!

-J.

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There are not many things you truly need, but a car seat is one (they won't let you leave the hospital without one). Maybe you can find a compromise if you tell your husband that not only can the baby come early--it can come at ANY time. Some people go into premature labor at 28 weeks. If your baby comes early, and needs medical intervention, every spare moment of your lives will be spent in the hospital. Literally the LAST thing you will want to do is go shopping!! Sounds like your husband is a classic procrastinator, and in this case, it's not really going to benefit anyone to procrastinate.
Good luck. It sounds frustrating!

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The bottom line is, do whatever feels right for you. You don't really need anything for a newborn expect blankets, diapers, and maxipads for you. My girl came before I had anything ready and I was homebound for 3 weeks with just those things and we're fine. It wasn't fun, but it was fine. My point is, everyone is different and you should get ready when you want to. Also not to stress about buying a lot of stuff, cause its just not necessary in the beginning.

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It is never too early. Better to be prepared than to be scrambling. My first arrived 4 weeks early! The following week were going to put the carseat in the car, get the diapers, back the bags etc. thinking we'd have at least 3 weeks before we'd really need anything. HA! I stood on the curb with our newborn for 25 minutes while my husband kept trying and finally got the car seat anchored. We came home with only the couple of diapers that the hospital gave us and had to run out for diapers, wipes, butt cream everything. We totally laugh about it now. However, we had a completely different story with #2. He was born almost 7 1/2 years after big sister but didn't forget our little mishap and had everything ready about 2 or 3 months early. Our little guy arrived 2 weeks early.

Go for it! This isn't just getting ready for baby, this is getting yourself ready too.
Good Luck and Congratulations on your new little one.

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Neither of you are "right" in this arguement. Things need to be ready before the baby comes home, but anytime before that is ok. With my first child, we ordered a changing table/dresser from a store and it didn't arrive until I was in the hospital. My husband brought it home and put it together while I was there. I was completely surprised. The things you really need the day the baby gets home are a crib, diapers, and some clothes. Other than that you have a bit of time before you need things.

Having said that, it's nice to have things ready in advance so you don't feel like you need to do so much when the baby is getting close to coming. If you wait until just before the baby comes, like your husband wants to, he needs to understand that he will probably be doing most of the work. When you are within a few weeks of your due date, it isn't comfortable to do much of anything. And after the baby comes, you will be so consumed by caring for it, that you won't have the time or energy to do much else.

So when you discuss things again, I would frame your concerns in the form of how excited you are and also in practical terms as far as what you will and won't be able to do as it gets closer to your due date. With this information, your husband will have to make a choice of doing it alone closer to your due date, or doing it earlier than he would like with your help.

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I remember being excited to do stuff, too. When my husband was reluctant, I just did stuff myself and if he thought I was doing too much, he would pitch in. If you want to do some of this stuff, go for it! If his participation is important, as it was to me, keep at him and let him know why you want to do it now. Your ability to move around and help is only going to lessen at this point - have him try to carry that baby around a while and he might go out and do the shopping for you! Good luck, but remember to enjoy every minute.

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I started buying little things nearly from the beginning of my pregnancy.lol I was just soooo excited that I couldn't help myself:) Her father on the other hand thought I was nuts and didn't buy anything if I remember right until after he came to see us in the hospital (we're seperated but he was there for the birth).

I don't think it's too early.My brother and his girlfriend are expecting #2, a son, about the time your due and they're starting to get things ready.They waited till the last minute with thier daughter and it drove them nuts! My brother was sooo sleep deprived and trying to finish putting together the bed that it had to be redone by someone else! lol

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Like others have said, it is completely normal for you to want to "nest". Others have described your husband's response as avoidance, anxiety or reluctance to accept responsibility. Since you don't indicate anything other than a reluctance to purchase and set up the baby things, I can think of another possible explanation. Some people believe, consciously or subconsciously, that having everything ready early will somehow "jinx" the outcome. I know people who wouldn't assemble anything, or purchase any clothes or other supplies because of this fear. I think this belief was more common 40-50 years ago, when medical care was not as advanced. Still, it is very real to the people who feel this way. I'd encourage you to talk with your husband to see if this is what is causing his reluctance to "feather the nest".

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Find a "Getting Ready For Baby Class". Our hospital put them on. There were "How to Get Pregnant" Classes, "Sibling" classes and "How to Financially Plan for the baby". Maybe your husband will be willing to start with that one and then go to the planning one. It's natural that you are more excited and wanting to "nest". Good luck!

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You are nesting, and it is okay, and totally normal! I truly do not understand your husbands plight for waiting...the sooner you have it all put together, the more rested you will feel, and this is good! May is not that far away! Maybe explain to your husband about nesting and that it is part of the pregnancy process, and that he needs to let you prepare. This is a battle you should win! Sounds like he is anxious too, which is normal, but if you put it all together and then store it in baby's room, what harm is that? Keep talking with him about it all. It is important!

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I do not think it is too soon to start preparing for the arrival of your new family member. I appreciate your excitement and enthusiasm and am sorry your husband is not on the same wavelength with you about this. You are perhaps in the early Nesting stages? And you are correct - many babies come earlier than the due date. If this happens, you will be stressed out even more by realizing that nothing is ready at home! You will not be able, or even want to, set up swings and furniture and whatever else when you come home from the hospital. You will only want to focus on the baby and attending to needs and recuperating yourself. Obviously, you are close enough to your due date that you could feasibly have the baby anytime between now and then. What is the problem with getting organized and setting stuff up? It should make you feel better to have it done. I started getting stuff ready for my daughter early on. There are soooo many little things you will need to have on hand for a baby and it made more sense to me to stretch out the shopping experience. This helped financially, by not having a huge expense all at one time. It also helped me to have conversations with other new moms and to get advice on what items were recommended over other ones. Besides all that - it is just fun to look at the little clothes, wash, and hang them up! Not sure if your hubby has some personal issues that are making him hold back, but how can he not get excited when he sees the little outfits his son will soon be wearing! Good luck, God bless.

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While it is totally responable to start getting ready for the baby now, you may want to consider that you are to focused on the baby for your husband's comfort zone. Remember that these are your last moments as just the two of you. Maybe he is conserned that his home will be over-run by baby-kid needs for the next 18 years and is basking in these last moments he has with YOU.

That being said, I started collecting and preparing for the baby as soon as I hit my 2nd trimester. I primarily did this because I am on a tight budget and going to the store to buy everything at the last moment is financially not realistic. This didn't bother my husband, but if I spend to much time talking about it it would bother him. Now that we are so close to the due date (I am due march 21st) it is all he wants to talk about. As for my peice of mind, I've been organized and ready in my home for months. SO my point here is find out what the underlying issue is. Instead of hounding your husband about shopping or puting together the swing, I would ask him what heis not ready for and what he thinks is appropriate. Usee his feelings as a jumping off point to explain your own, but remember to listen to and respect his feelings. This is a big step for both of you and you need to help each other through.

If he still is having a hard time, remember that you can have your bag packed and stick it in the back of the closet, and do other little organizational things around the house when he is busy with other stuff, allowing you some increased peace of mind without overwhelming him.

Good luck!

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I don't think it's too soon. Your baby could come early, after all, and as your pregnancy gets to the late stages you're not going to feel like running around shopping, hanging wallpaper, pre-washing all the little clothes and linens, etc. It has to be done at some stage, so do it now while you're motivated and feel up to it. You might as well do it while you can enjoy it, too, rather than when you're feeling rushed and/or crummy.

Know, also, that your urge to nest is a normal one. That doesn't make it "irrational", at least no more irrational than his desire to drag his feet. Sounds like he has some unresolved issues. He needs to consider your needs, and the baby's needs, and get used to it!

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i'm a lifelong procrasinator, so i didn't get ready early. i wish i had. here are two reasons to get ready early: bedrest & premature birth- this can happen with a totally healthy pregnancy with no advance signs! one day you're at work with your desk piled high and that afternoon you are on your back with permission to get up to pee and shower.
even if things go on schedule, women who go full term can be very tired that last month or so, and it would be more fun to do this stuff while your energy level is high and you are enthusiastic.

one other thought, until you go thru it, you have no idea how tiring a newborn baby can be. if you can, use that last month to rest up & talk about things that don't revolve around the baby. soon enough, everything will.

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I was getting so anxious I couldn't finish reading your message. I think that's because I've experienced people who want me to agree that their way is the only right way. I feel that they don't respect me and are taking away my right to be different than they are. They seem to disregard my feelings. I need to make some decisions for myself based on how I feel. My sense is that when someone has to have the final say in a decision they are doing this because they need to be in control to feel safe.

It is likely that on some level he's concerned about the changes that a baby will cause. He may be feeling inadequate. When he controls when you prepare allows him to not face having a baby and the emotions he has. I suspect he's also not emotionally preparing himself for the baby.

It is normal for you to have an intense need to nest and get ready for the baby. Some men also feel this need. There are practical reasons besides hormones that drive you towards getting ready. During the last month or two you will most likely be too large and uncomfortable to do such things as put the swing together or stand on your feet while you shop. You won't have much energy left with which to feel excited. You'll be focused on giving birth. You'll just want the baby to be here. If you wait you'll miss the fun of preparing. when you start early you'll have longer to be excited and having fun.

Common sense says get ready early. Baby may come early, you may not feel well later, Some other event may make it impossible to set up the things you need to care for the baby.

In general it works best if we prepare in advance. Some may procrastinate but isn't it easier if we start on that term paper early?
Did you wait until the last week or month to prepare for your wedding. Did you wait until the last week to look for a house or apartment?
Did you start saving at the last minute? Did you only begin to think about what you wanted your home to be like the month before you moved in. To be successful in nearly every long term venture we do advance planning and preparation.

Perhaps you could show your husband a book which makes reoommendations for preparing ahead of time. I've not seen one suggestion that families should wait until the week before the expected due date to prepare.

After the baby is born both of you will be too exhausted to do shopping and will be frustrated if the house isn't set up to make caring for the baby easier. Just having the baby in the house and feeling unsure of how to care for him will take up lots of time and energy.

I also suggest he consider that planning and preparing makes bringing baby home less stressful. It takes time to adjust to being a parent. Having the things baby needs helps us to be aware and adjust slowly. Keeps us thinking about how we want to be as a parent and opens up discussions between the two of you.

As to duplicates. You will be able to use most duplicates. Ones that aren't needed such as crib mobiles you can return if you know what store they came from even if the store is in a different state. My family usually includes the gift receipt. If your family and friends would not be likely to do that you could tell the ones with whom you're close that you worry about duplicates.

When you say you don't know what you're getting do you mean that you haven't talked with them about what they want to give and what you'd like to have? In general terms. Discussing what baby needs is part of the excitement to share.

Have you made a list of the things that you want to have for baby? Does your husband expect to just go to the store at the last minute and buy things? I shop for bargains as well as for the style and color that I prefer.
If you haven't been looking, now is the time to start so that you can get what you want at a price you can afford. Shopping will also help you know what you need and can afford. Having a list that can be modified as you go along and a budget helps. If the two of you make budget decisions together before you shop he may feel less anxious.

I agree there are just a few basics that you have to have at the time of baby's birth. Is that how your husband views it? Do you live with just the basics now?

My daughter used the swing with her son from the start. He became calm and slept well while the swing swung.

The two of you could talk about each of your expectations for parenthood. Both of you research what having a baby involves. This will give you a basis to begin a discussion. The more you're both aware of the other's feelings and concerns the more likely you'll be able to compromise so that both of you get what you need.

I'm thinking it's very likely that your husband is anxious about the baby's arrival and putting off preparations feels better than facing the anxiety. In reality preparing ahead of time relieves some of the anxiety and increases the excitement. But I'm guessing he's actually afraid. He doesn't know what to expect. That makes all of us anxious. So he's not crazy. But he is unprepared.

Does the military set out on maneuvres without planning and preparing in advance? Perhaps he could better understand if you could compare preparing for a baby with other events that he's experienced.

I think he's unreasonable to ask you to wait to prepare until just before the birth. The most obvious difficulty is the baby may come early. And to put things together after coming home from the hospital? Does he plan to not help with the baby or take over some of the household chores while you recuperate?

I also think it's unreasonable to have to control your excitement. I couldn't do it and stay happy. Is he not excited about having a baby? A person can be excited and planning without actually purchasing anything. That is part of the fun. If he can't express excitement you should still be able to be as excited as you want. You are a person separate from him. Perhaps you'll have to share the "wild" excitement with friends. Your husband sounds too practical to appreciate the creativity and demeanor of an excited person. But you are a person separate from him and you deserve to be able to express your feelings.

You say he's annoyed because you want to get ready before the due date. I don't understand his thinking. And I'm feeling frustrated for you. Life is not as well ordered and predictable as he seems to think it is or even as the military is. Also having a baby is a shared event. I don't understand how he can say this is the way it's going to be done without allowing you to also have a part in the decision. Mother to be and a father to be will have different ideas about what is important and even about what is happening. Each needs to be allowed take care of their own concerns.

For example a father may be more concerned about financial matters and as a result start a savings account. A mother nearly always wants to prepare their home for the baby and as a result goes shopping. The father is thinking long range. The mother is thinking of the here and now. Both are right. They just have a different viewpoint. They can both do what they consider important. That could be a compromise.

What does he need? HOw can he get what he needs while allowing you to have what you need? Sounds like your conversations need to be deeper than when will we prepare. You are in a difficult place. I'm sorry that you aren't able to do what women through out the ages have done. I hope that you can find a way for both of you to agree or even agree to disagree while allowing each one to do what they think is important.

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It is still a little early for safety stair gates but as soon as you are ready you may want to look at http://www.stairgatestore.com. The have great JPMA certified gates at low prices.

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There's tons of decisions you'll have to make together to be good parents, so start compromising now! The only thing you REALLY need ready to bring baby home is the carseat and a place for the baby to sleep even if it's your bed. It won't matter if the swing is put together or if all the clothes are put away perfectly. If you're having a baby shower, wait to do anything until after that. Newborns sleep A LOT so you'll probably have a chance to do some organizing and sorting in the early days. Relax a little and let your husband be a parent too. :)

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Hi N. - Reading your post made me laugh because I wish I had been more like you! My son was 6 weeks early and we barely had anything ready. We didn't even have our hospital bag packed so I was rushing around at 1:30am after my water broke trying to think what to take! It's really a lot easier to get everything together now because you never know when Mateo will decide to come. Just get the basics/essentials ready and don't worry about clothes - you'll get tons from friends & family.

Sometimes husbands want to enjoy the "freedom" before a baby comes and try to procrastinate. Maybe explaining that it will ease your mind to have things ready sooner than later - it's going to have to be done eventually! After he arrives, you won't want to think about going to the store or setting things up. It's much easier to just be able to relax and enjoy the new baby! Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I don't think it is ever too soon. By the time the last week of pregnancy comes you will be tired and big and this will stress you out much more then than it does now. But is is not worth the battles:) I would say relax and enjoy your pregnancy, and if there are things to be done that you are not able to do yourself that late in the pregnancy, I am sure your beautiful husband will be the one to take care of those things:) You are blessed to have a partner to share the task list with:) And people love to get things for the baby, so let them send the packages, there will always be something else for you to buy for your baby, you won't run short of that:) Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

N.,
I too felt a sense of urgency to get ready for the baby. I thought I was being silly and over anxious and so I did nothing about it. I'd had a completely healthy and normal pregnancy... all the way up until the last 3 weeks. At that very late stage, my doctor told me to limit my activity level. Not bed rest, but I couldn't do any real prep work anymore.
I didn't have my bags packed, the car seat installed, or the baby clothes sorted into the dresser drawers, much less all of the decorations up and the furniture and accessories put together.
A week later, two weeks before my due date, I went in for another check up and my doctor told me that for our safety, we needed to go into delivery immediately. And my husband and I weren't ready.
My point is that you shouldn't wait. Listen to your instincts and your body, not your husband. Compromise is essential to the health of your relationship, but (I know this sounds sexist) men just don't understand what we experience during pregnancy/childbirth. He simply does not get to have control on this issue.
If you have to, ask a friend to come over and help you make the changes in your home. Of course it's best if your husband is involved, but you can do this without his participation. Playing with baby stuff just isn't part of his "wiring" yet- he'll need a few months of fatherhood experience for that.

However, in the spirit of compromise, there are many things that you don't need to buy until later, some things are not worth purchasing at all, and with a baby shower or gifts coming from family, you'll need to buy even less. I highly suggest creating a list of the things that you know you still need/want, reviewing it with your husband and then distributing it to your loved ones. Ask them to tell you what they're getting you. I know that can be uncomfortable, but believe me it's less uncomfortable than explaining why you're not using their cheap/ugly/extra item and using a different gift instead!

Hospital bills are incredibly expensive, even with good insurance, so don't go spend a bunch of money on baby gadgets and clothes. If you have leftover money, save it to hire a housekeeper for a few weeks while you recover. Believe me, you'll want the help and your husband will appreciate it too.

Finally, try to remember that your husband is going through a huge change in becoming a father. He may be feeling some major uncertainty, resentment, and fear about the baby and how it's going to change your lives. By making the physical preparations to the house, that "slippery slope" starts. He may be resisting because he's uncomfortable, not because he really has any reasonable objections. His feelings are valid, just like yours are. Try to cut him a tiny bit of slack.

All in all, you'll survive this. Really, what's the worst that could happen? While you're in the hospital, you have to send a friend over to your house to pick up your clothes, toothbrush, and carseat? That's not so bad. :)

Good luck, N..
We're pulling for you!
~H.

1 mom found this helpful

N.,

What you are experiencing is what is called the nesting instinct. Due to hormones and instinct you are perfectly normal. In this case it would help your household tremendously if your husband could learn two simple words: Yes, dear.

This nesting instinct in natural and normal, and you are right to want to have everything ready long before the baby arrives. My husband and I moved on a Sunday, I went into labor the next day, and my son was born 24 hours later. My poor hubby had to split his time between us in the hospital and trying to unpack our house and also set up my son's room. All that in 3-4 days. Poor guy was exhausted.

Hope this helps,
M.

1 mom found this helpful

Hello, my name's T.. I'm a mother of twin girls that are 8 months old. I didn't have a baby shower until 3 months before the girls were born. Then one month before they were due I think is when we got the essentials. Don't worry, you can take a breather on this one. Your husband has a point about it all waiting. Sometimes I think the nesting syndrome that occurs in the latency of pregnancy can drive us bonkers sometimes. If your husband is reassuring you that he can do it all in one day then sit back, relax, and take him at his word. He might even want to surprise you. I had a c-section and I was glued to the bed for 3 days straight. I was too afraid to leave my babies. Then again, I was very emotional after I had the girls. Those hormones can really get you. You have enough on your plate what with having a child growing inside you. I bet you wont even use half of the stuff you get until 1-2 weeks after the babies come. I remember that all I cared about was food, clothing, and bed for the girls. Everything came a step at a time. I don't think you can bathe the baby for about 2 weeks because you have to wait for the umbilical chord to fall off. Good luck with your pregnancy! You can e-mail me if you want to talk about anything at ____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful

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