8 answers

Is It Okay to Leave My 11 Year Old Home Alone?

My daughter is 11 years old and an only child. She does not want to go to summer camp this years and would prefer to stay home by herself. She is a very responsible 11 year old and we have a great relationship with all of our neighbors. She would have to be home alone anywhere from 4 to 8 hours. Though I feel she could handle it, I am afraid she will be lonely, board or even a little scared at times. As you can tell I am conflicted and need your advice!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you all for your comments and great advice. I was not at all comfortable with leaving her home alone all summer either. A friend of mine whom has 3 boys, and works at home thought of a great idea and gave Crista a wonderful summer job being a "Mothers Helper". She is very proud of her new Job and all the responsibility. Not to mention all the fun she is having with the little kids. She is going to be such a great big sister some day!

Featured Answers

i agree with Mary A it's not a good idea. i would not feel comfortable to leave my 16 years old brother who lives with me alone for 8 hrs a day. it's not safe. since it's illegal what if something happen. you will be in too much trouble. so find her somewhere to go. good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

A.,

I don't thin it is a very good idea to leave an 11 year old at home by herself. I am a nanny and the last family I was with I was with for 16 years. If I can be of service to you this summer let me now. ###-###-#### I have excellent refernces, And I am sure your daughter and I can do lots of fun things together. J. W 44

2 moms found this helpful

There is nothing wrong with it legally. But How well do you really know your neighbors? And is she really going to abide by your rules when you're not there. That much freedom at such a young age can impact a child to the point that she will try to tell you what she is or isn't going to do after a while. If she does get bored, that can lead to trouble and I'm sure she will be afraid when the doorbell rings and she is alone. The world is a very scarey place, not like it once was. And after a child has to act as a grown person they lose that innocence we love so much. Don't rush into letting go, there is plenty of time for that later.

1 mom found this helpful

She needs to be 12 to be alone by law. In case something happened or someone was watching her or the house.It would be the parents fault for leaving her.I don't think I would want to be worried about it--and now a days just how safe would she be? Perhaps a trusty neighbor could help watch her and someone she could spend some of the day with?

1 mom found this helpful

i agree with Mary A it's not a good idea. i would not feel comfortable to leave my 16 years old brother who lives with me alone for 8 hrs a day. it's not safe. since it's illegal what if something happen. you will be in too much trouble. so find her somewhere to go. good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I would not leave a pre-teen home alone for even an hour. There's SO much that could happen, God forbid. Especially if someone came to the door, if she has access to internet, if someone called, if she happened to tell a friend and the friend happened to tell someone... if it became known to a predator that she's alone..... if there was a fire, if there was a "simple" random burglary (someone not even knowing she's there) which is common in neighborhoods where MOST of the residents work, leaving most homes empty during regular 8 - 5 work week hours....

and then, as you mentioned, what kind of quality will she have to her day? soaps? game shows? video games? friends over?

My pre-teen would be told that they have a say in most things that go on in the house that affect them, but as for this situation, she'd simply have to trust you and go to summper camp, or "hang out with" an elderly neighbor (good for HER and good for the elderly person, or some other supervised situation. An 11 year old doesnt have the life experience and such to be able to care for herself 4 - 8 hours a day.... in my opinion.

She needs stimulation, communication, and socialization at that age, for that length of period that you're away.

And, God forbid, if anything at all happened to her while alone, you'd never forgive yourself.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Aime,
I think it's OK to leave your daughter alone for a few hours at a time but all day each day is just too much. You will be a nervous wreck at work worrying about her!

Maybe you can send her to camp for a few days each week or find another friend of hers in the same situation so they can be together and switch off houses.You definitely don't want your daughter stuck indoors, watching Jerry Springer or on the computer where anything goes.

I think you and your daughter will have to compromise on this one! Good Luck!!!

-K.

1 mom found this helpful

A.-
I think that by 11 years your suposed to have built a trust with your daughter which sounds that you have, but you have to keep in mind she's still gullible and very young, the good thing about you situation is that it sounds like your neighbors would keep an eye in case anything happened, with that in mind I would trust my insticts as a mother. Hope you find the answer your looking for.

C..

1 mom found this helpful

I know it's scary! I went through the same thing with my son when he was 11. I found out he had to be 12 (legally) but figured that he was mature enough at 11 and 3/4. I called every hour, he had his chores every day and when the neighbor kid got home, he was allowed to go to his house to play. We only had one freaky experience. He called me at work and said that some scruffy man had walked up to the house and tried the doorknob and was on his way to the neighbor's house to do the same thing. I called the cops, the cops found the guy and it was someone hanging advertisements on doorknobs, he had a permit to do so. Overall he did okay, the summer seemed to fly by and we saved a ton of money not sending him to the Y like we had every summer before that.

1 mom found this helpful

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