43 answers

Is It Ok to Buy My Son Girl Toys?

I have a son you will be 5 in March and a daughter who will be 3 in February. The issue is that my son likes to play with girl toys, watch princess movies, and pretend little mermaid. However my daughter doesn’t play with those items as much as he does. He actually finds them and wants to play. He sometimes states that he wants to be a girl, plays dress, Style hair, play with dolls etc…

When do I start getting considered? I don’t want him to be gay, but if he is I am open to that and will support him.

For Christmas he wants little mermaid or Dora mermaid Dolls. I want to buy them for him and make him happy. However my husband states that we shouldn’t buy any girls items, that it will only mess him up more. What should I do? Is this just a phase?

Please help

thanks

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

If you're worried about it, why don't you get him some of the other character dolls like Sebastian or flounder from little mermaid? It's still a great movie for all genders, but if you're looking for him to have more male influences, maybe choose the male characters? Likewise Dora has Boots the monkey and her male counterpart Diego with plenty of merchandising to follow.

I say buy them. Plus in today's society, men cook, clean and take care of kids. I know my hubby does. Is it any diffenent than letting a boy play house? or with dolls?

I think that there is definitely a split between moms and dads on this issue. I think young kids like what they like because it is fun and because society says boys should play with cars and girls should play with dolls we become afraid to allow them to just be kids. You may want to try some new toys both designed for boys and girls. If you want to expose him to more boyish toys, you could buy him "boy" dress up clothes (pirates, etc.) and some really cool boy accessory sets like a playschool tool bench set and along with some other toys he has asked for and go from there. Good Luck.

More Answers

Well, first of all, I don't think pretending to be a mermaid means he will someday want to have romantic relations with other men....

But my opinion is that if he wants to play with "girl's" toys and you do not let him, he will still WANT to play with those toys. He will just be unhappy for reasons he doesn't understand. Not allowing him to do something will not change anything about him or his likes or dislikes, it will just make him confused. At his age he does not understand society's hangups.

More than likely when he goes to school he will start to conform a little more to what is "normal" for fear of teasing. Perhaps he will grow up to be a very nurturing man, perhaps he will be gay, perhaps he will be a pro wrestler. In my opinion what he plays with now will not affect him so much as how he is treated. Above all I would avoid making him feel shamed or embarrassed about it.

We dealt with a similar issue with my mother-in-law telling my son (1.5 yo) he couldn't play with his sister's dolls. We put a stop to that immediately.

2 moms found this helpful

When my son was a 2 year old, all he wanted for Christmas was a Strawberry Shortcake doll. I was appalled, but my mom said to buy if for him. She stated that this is how boys learn how to be good fathers: by holding and snuggling babies, and learning how to nurture. She was right. He is now 27, has 3 young sons and is a great dad. Always holding and snuggling those babies, just like he did Strawberry Shortcake.

1 mom found this helpful

Just to give you a concrete example of what all the Moms are saying, my 13 yr old never liked dolls but he did get fascinated when Mommy put on make-up and he had to try it too. I was like no biggie, though my ex thought it was horrifying. Now, years later, and tons of brainwashing by society on "how to be a boy/man" (which you can't avoid no matter how hard you try)the main thing he enjoys is video games where he shoots someone or blows them up. So I wouldn't worry.
Not only are toys just toys to kids, but they are processing and curious about gender roles and what they see their parents etc. doing. Someday there will probably be a big movement where guys finally insist they get to wear pink and play with dolls! Please let that happen so that men will start helping more with the kids and doing housework!!!! PLease!

1 mom found this helpful

As a "grown up boy" and father of two girls, I've got to agree with everyone else. There's quite a big hole in the market of toys for boys similar to those the girls have- "Action Figures" like GI Joe are the closest it gets. I say get him any toy in the genre he wants; would you rather he watches four hours of TV a day? You should both be proud of having a boy with a good imagination and creativity. Playing with dolls and dresses will not mess up a boy any more than playing baseball messes up a girl. Twenty years ago, I'm sure people were saying the same thing about girls playing soccer!

If it eases your husband's fears, try getting your son the dolls and dresses he wants, but ALSO look into boy dress-up and action figures. Pirate costumes have been big this past year, and there are several lines of boy action figures that are non-violent, esp. the Rescue Hero line. (There are also GI Joes with guns and pro-wrestler figures - you may not want those.)

When I was younger, I remember playing with "Big Jim", who had a camper and other camping/hiking accessories. I also played with those little plastic army guys and plastic animals on mountainous terrain made from draping a blanket over boxes and pillows.

1 mom found this helpful

C.,

Sure it is. My son was the middle child and played with girl stuff all the time. Dress-up usually was his older sister's old dance costumes. Fact is, when you think of it, girls toys and dress-up clothes are generally more fun and exciting to play with, certainly more appealing to the eye.
I am also a home child care provider and it is EXTREMELY common for the Rescue Heroes to live in the dollhouses and Dora to be riding a fire truck. Actually its quite interesting when they mix it all up that way.

1 mom found this helpful

I would buy the toys for him. That is not going to "turn him gay". I heard a story of a little boy insisting that he wanted a princess birthday party one year. My son walks around in his sisters dress up shoes all the time and pushes her baby dolls in the stroller all the while carrying a purse!
Like another mom said, he sees dad or other dads pushing a stroller and carrying around a baby, possibly even carrying the diaper bag like a purse, so the child is only imitating dad! I would so not worry, and go with the flow. Even if he is gay, or transgender,which is probably not the case, there is absolutely nothing you nor your husband can do to "change him" anyway. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I always like to respond to questions/concerns like these. First, you are making the absolutely incorrect assumption that "gayness" can be controlled or influenced. You are also assuming that if a boy is interested in "girl" toys, then he must be gay. Homosexuality is not a choice, it is what the person "is". Allowing a child to play with a particular kind of toy will not make him any more or less gay. Many little boys play with "girl" toys. My son, who is 21, in college, and NOT GAY loved to play with his sister(2 years younger), and her toys when he was little. Thank goodness we just allowed our kids to be kids and explore all areas of play without prejudices and biases. Basically, kids just want to have fun. Of course, if he was engaging in physically harmful behavior, then we would have stopped it. He was not and he eventually outgrew his interest in Barbies and the like. FYI - he ended up playing ice hockey for his high school, graduated in the top 5% of his class, loves all sports, especially football, and is currently a senior at Purdue University. He is a well-rounded, Christian, adult who understands diversity and embraces the concept of equality for all, no matter what their gender, race, religion, sexual preference, political affiliation, etc. I would strongly encourage you to allow your son to play with whatever toys he likes. Get him the toys that he asks for. This will show him that you understand his needs/wants/desires and you love him for who he is. He will not feel ashamed or misunderstood. He will just be a little boy who wants to have fun.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with the other responses that a toy is a toy and kids and kids. I think that if a person is gay or transgender or whatever, it won't matter what toys you buy them. Whatever you do, you love your kids and that is the most important.

1 mom found this helpful

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