B.C. asks from Valley Cottage, NY on August 13, 2011
Is It Just Me? or Did Any of You Feel the Blues About Kindergarten?
My Baby girl is starting Kindergarten in less than three weeks and I have become so sad at the thought of her in kindergarten. Just writing this posting I started crying. I asked my husband if he felt the same way and he said he was excited about her moving to the next stage and hitting a new milestone. I really can't understand why I am so sad. I cried for two days at her pre-k graduation I mean I was a total wreck and with the 1st day of Kindergarten looming I find myself so sad all the time. I know part of it is that I really want another child but my husband will not even entertain it. We have two girls together 5 and 7and he has an adult son from a previous marriage he is older than I am and he says he is done with the baby stage. I am sure that my longing for another child has something to do with it however I was wondering if anyone else ever felt this sad about their youngest starting kindergarten. If so how did you get through it, I don't want to make my baby upset on her first day by bawling at school.
1 mom found this helpful
So What Happened?™
Thanks so much for all your input. Some of you put it into perspective and the best part of it all was to know that I was not alone. Just an FYI I work full time and have a very demanding career in healthcare leadership so my sadness about her leaving isn't about me being home alone it's just that she is my last baby and now she is a big girl. Thanks for all your comments I appreciate, it.
D.P. answers from Pittsburgh on August 13, 2011
You're not the only one. It's totally normal.
Plan an appointment of specific errands for after school starts the first day.
And NEVER let them see you cry!
Keep that stiff upper lip and then you can fall apart after she's on the bus or in the school.
R.D. answers from Richmond on August 13, 2011
BE CONFIDENT!! Your child will sense if you're upset, and be upset in return. Get her excited! And YOU get excited!! I promise the sadness doesn't last :)
I felt like that when my first child went into Kindergarten. When her sister, a year younger, went to Kindergarten, I was like BYYYYYYE!! Now, I'm literally counting down then days when not only the baby is in Kindergarten, but until all three of them are in COLLEGE :)
1 mom found this helpful
B.C. answers from Norfolk on August 13, 2011
Lot's of Mom's feel that way to some degree but some go way overboard.
A few Mom's totally lose it when the kids go off to Kindergarten.
I've seen a few who totally panic d their kids because the grown up had no self control.
I did my crying when I took my son to daycare at 3 months old.
Kindergarten didn't seem that bad after that.
Babies are SUPPOSE to grow up little by little.
It's a much more tragic circumstance if you have a child who can never grow up or develop normally.
Some parents are 75 years old looking after a 50 yr old child who will never be potty trained and they worry who will take care of him when they are gone.
Normal milestones should be celebrated, not mourned.
I'm not unsympathetic, but a little perspective can make a world of difference.
1 mom found this helpful
M.T. answers from New York on August 14, 2011
I know a lot of moms feel emotional about this but I was not one of them. I'm like your husband, so excited for my kids to be moving forward and doing great things. When my daughter went to kindy, it wasn't anything different for me, it's not like we spent our days together for five years, I went to work and she went to daycare and preschool. When my younger kid went, I'd been a cancer survivor for a year and a half, and was just grateful that I was alive to see him go at all. I remember at the parent orientation before he started, the principal going on about how important it is not to cry in front of the kids and all I could think was, "Please let the bus pull away BEFORE I scream WOO HOO and dance." Now my oldest leaves for college in two years. I know I'll miss her and the dynamics of the house will be very different, but I am so freaking excited for her!
A touch of nostalgia is normal. Crying for two days over preschool graduation and crying every time you think about her going to kindy is not. That's over the top and makes me wonder if treatment for depression is needed.
S.K. answers from Dallas on August 13, 2011
I am right there with you! Our twins will start in a week and I have already told them that I may cry. They looked at me like I was crazy! :)
I hope she has a great year!
K.. answers from Phoenix on August 13, 2011
I am going through this, too, so I understand you 100%.
My DD starts next week & I have been a total basket case, an emotional wreck. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that she is my one & only & it's starting to look like we probably won't have another one. DH also has a 19 year old from a previous relationship, so he's fine with what he has.
I am also looking for a part time job, so I can still be around for her, so the thought of all the impending change is really overwhelming.
I got called back for an interview, and they wanted to do it on Monday, but that is the day DD starts K, and I know there's no way I'll be in the condition to put my best foot forward.
My plan is to TRY to hold it back until after I drop her off. I know she'll also be anxious, nervous, excited & I don't want her to freak out because I'm upset.
I guess I'm not much help, just know you're not alone in this. Hang in there :-)
L.B. answers from Boston on August 13, 2011
Feeling sad at your baby going off to kindergarten is a normal reacation. I was excited yet sad for my first two... it was very different with my daughter.. my youngest, my baby. This solidifies that your baby is no longer just that...a baby. Kindergarten signifies more independence.
You crying for weeks after preK graduation etc. could be because you'd like another baby. You will survive this... and then you cry when they go to middle, to high school, learn to drive and on and on... you're a mom and she is your baby! You breathe through all of life's moments and try to be present. Give yourself permission to cry AFTER you drop her off at school when you get in the car or home.
Big hugs to you
S.B. answers from Topeka on August 13, 2011
I do have the blues. This is my last child and he is beginning kindergarten Thursday. He has terrible seperation anxiety, only if he is not with a friend. Sadly his best friend will be going to a private school, instead of the on base school... which I can not figure out how in the world they are paying for it... well that is another story in itself. LOL!
Anyway, I have been crying at everything. A movie that wasn't totally too sad... I cried the whole way through it. I have been crying at music, books, my son hugging me. It's like it's my time of the month... but it's not. I am just so sad =(
But we'll see. It will all be okay.
J.C. answers from New York on August 15, 2011
My daughter is entering Kindergarten this year, too. I too am sad because she is my one and only and I feel so sad that she is growing up and I don't have any more. I've struggled with the decision of having another and now I find myself at 40 and am just totally unsure. I just don't want to be pregnant again. Plus I know I will need some help if I do want to have another baby - but I just don't know.
Great - now I'm sitting in my office crying!!! So no, you are NOT the only one. :(