Is It Appropriate for Someone to Shooed a Child?

I have to agree with Helen and the two guys. As long as there was supervision for your 2 nieces (your fiance) then I would let my daughter play outside the doors, walk up and down the street if there was not a lobby, etc. I do that at restaurants and any other places I take my daughter. I go to Weight Watchers and if she can't sit still or be quite for the meeting, we leave. We've been doing that at Weight Watchers since I joined in Jan and my daughter was 18 months old.
I don't know how to word this so it's not offensive, so please don't take this the wrong way. I would watch your conversations with strangers. If your conversation with these two strangers got to the point that security was called, tempers must have been flaring. That's not a safe environment for your son. Since I've had my daughter I'm always extra cautious of strangers, you never know if someone is at your limit and have no self control.

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Sorry, I have to agree with the gentlemen. In my opinion you should have taken your son outside. This is true for movies, restaurants or anywhere else that is public. You asked. =)

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Honestly, I think you all acted badly. Sure, they shouldn't have shooed your son, because it was a family movie. Yes, that was rude. On the other hand, it didn't make any sense for you and your fiance to continue the argument afterwards and help escalate the situation. It might have made your son feel bad (or very bad) to see all of the adults acting that way. You probably don't want to hear this, but consider checking your anger level in situations like this. Best of luck.

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Yeah - you need to take the 18 month old outside. You can't assume it's not bothering other people. Movies (for kids or otherwise) are not a place for talking. I have a step-son and one on the way. And I'm still sympathetic to the people who expected a quiet environment. It's not like you were in a restaurant. You were in a movie theater. People expect quiet in a movie theater.

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You should set a better example for your son and nieces by keeping control of yourself regardless of others' rudeness. Yelling and making a scene really didn't help the situation, did it?

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I'm sorry, but a movie is NOT a place for an 18 month old. Children that age just do not have the attention span to watch a movie and probably don't understand what is going on. I wish I could be more positive, but the best I can say is that perhaps you should read up on child development, and try to develop a little more sensitivity to what other people might be feeling.

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you sound really upset and shaken up, but with my kids, i have always taken them outside. 18 months is too young to expect a kid to sit patiently. no mater where you are, restaurant, movies, church etc, you should step outside and let the kid play around. not in the theatre. just my opinion and i have 2 kids under 2 years old.

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I feel your pain! I took my infant to a movie many years ago (he is now 19) and he started to fuss so I went the back and bounced him so he was quiet. Just me moving in the back bothered someone and an employee asked me to leave. I was really frustrated cause I thought at the time that one peep and I left my seat and he was then quiet should not have been a big deal but now as the movie goer with out my kids...I really understand. I "hate" going to see a movie with any distractions. I have 3 more kids now 9, 7.5 and an infant. Prior to the infant I would even go to great efforts to see a kids movie at the latest showing with the thought that it will be too late for the noisy toddlers. I have tried waiting till the movie has been out for a while. Each time it back fires on me. I feel it is probablly my carma for taking my baby all those years ago. One time I had a kid behind me announcing everything that was about to happen in addition to kicking my seat. I politely asked him to stop kicking my seat. I tired to be understanding that he was just excited about the movie he already saw. But then I heard what I thought was growling so startled I turned to look and it was his mother snorring. That did me in for a while. In my area there is one day a week with one showing called mommie movies especially for moms to bring younger ones to and everyone can expect talking or kids moving around or what ever. Maybe give that a try for now.

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It was inappropriate for you to bring him into the theatre.

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Wow! Clearly your son was bothering them, even if you felt he was being quiet. You should have left. So sorry your son had to witness what YOU created after the movie. Kids learn by example.

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There will always be people who say or do things we don't like. Get over it. I am appalled at the example you and your fiance gave your child. Your child learns from your behavior. He just learned that it is ok to get into a yelling match with strangers in a public place. You are so upset at two strangers and your son will probably grow up to be just like them based on the example you set.

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I'm afraid I'd have to say you could have handled the situation better. If someone is watching a movie and noise from you or your group, including a child, bothers them, then they have the right to tell you and should be able to expect you to take care of the situation.

My children are 9 and 12 now, but I always took them out if they bothered anyone else and brought them back in when they were able to be quiet. I have been to many movies and dinners in restaurants where other families allowed their children to bother us and it's not something I appreciate.

Recently, my girls told me thank you for never letting them be disruptive to others in public. This was after we had our meal mad unpleasant by another family's children's behavior.

Yes, I'd shoo another parent's child if the parent didn't handle it themselves. You may not have been aware of how much your child bothered the other people, but they were definitely aware and they tried to let you know. Your behavior was what turned the situtation unpleasant. Had you simply said, "Sorry, we didn't mean to bother you, we'll step outside", then there would have been no altercation.

Homeschooling Mom of two, step mom of two

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Unfortunately, if your child is bothering someone else you need to remove him. You were wrong.

And it won't hurt your child to be shooed by someone. What will harm him is if you teach him that his feelings are the only things that matter.

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Hi E.,
I haven't read all the post but I will say I do think you were in the wrong. People shouldn't have to sacrifice there nice day out because of someone else child. Even if your child wasn't being that loud it was loud enough to bother them and movies are not always for young children. Even if it is a family place. My son is three and I have never taken him to a movie because I am unsure how he would do. You have to be respectful of other people and teach your child the same. I am so sorry the situation got so out of hand.

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E.,

I am sorry that you had that encounter. They should have handled it differently- asked you nicely to remove your child from the theatre or had the theatre staff ask you to do so. Unfortunately unless you are going to a kid friendly movie specifically meant for moms/dads and babies, you need to bring your child outside the theatre if they are causing a disruption.

Take care,

M.

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I'm sorry you had such a confrontational encounter with the men. However, I don't believe it was unreasonable for them to expect you to take the child out of the theater when he got disinterested in the movie. Even though it was a family movie and there were other children watching i think 18 months is too young to expect him to sit through it's entirety. Like you said yourself, he is a child, a very young one who should not be expected to be quiet and still. That is why you should have taken him outside. And although your child was "not that loud," you have to realize that mere whispering or the frequent getting up from seats by ADULTS can be very distracting. So, allowing an 18 month old child to walk around, play and talk while others are trying to watch is just not appropriate. I think the men were not shooing your child, but reminding you to be more considerate of them and other viewers who reasonably expect a certain level of quietness at a theater.

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I'm sorry, but I'd have to agree with the other guys. If your son can't sit through a movie, he's too young to go. All the other people paid their 10 or 12 bucks to see the movie and your son was being disruptive. If it wasn't distracting them, they wouldn't have noticed and said anything.

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Maybe both of you could have been a little more gracious of the other- but, a movie theatre is not the place to let a toddler "play". You set yourself up for that one.

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I think that you were in the wrong. A child not interested in a movie shouldn't be at a movie. We shouldn't let our children annoy other people. We need to teach them the appropriate way to act, not coddle them and let them have their way.

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Dear E.,
We're all moms, some of us grandmas or aunties. We all love our children and are very protective. On one hand, I can understand you being apalled that someone would ask you to take your child and leave, but on the other hand, if it had to get to that point, you should have already left. If your child can't sit still in his seat and be quiet, as the parent, you need to know when it's time to exit. And it should be done before someone has to say something to you about it. It's just proper etiquette to remove a noisy, disinterested, tired, fussy or fidgety kid. Going in and out or getting up and down is very distracting even when adults do it so there was really no need to get so defensive about it. Afterwards, telling them not to shoo your child was uncalled for. Look to the extent that it escalated. You thought they were rude, they thought you were rude...it was a wash. After leaving with your son, it should have been over at that point. Getting confrontational and in a yelling match to the point you're told by security to leave is just beyond me. Whether other people have children or not has nothing to do with it. They way we handle our own children and our own behavior in situations is really all that matters. And when you've got kids, you have to expect that other people will not appreciate their unruly behavior. It's not an attack on your child.
I have kids and I don't appreciate getting pancake syrup in the back of my hair in a restaurant because the little one in the booth behind me is trying to climb over while the parents are oblivious. We went to an indoor graduation ceremony and one child was being so disruptive that it was announced over the microphone that if you have a small child having a hard time being still in the heat, as a courtesy to others, to please take them outside. That lady just sat there, laughing and carrying on, acting like everyone was staring at her because her kid is so adorable. No one could believe it. It was impossible to hear, the kid was in the aisle while the graduates were trying to walk and the mother saw nothing wrong with it.
If I were you, I would take this as a lesson learned and voluntarily remove your son from situations he's not able to handle. And, take a long honest look at how you yourself handled it, in front of your son, so that it never happens again, with possibly a far worse outcome. Remember the saying, "Calmer heads prevail".

Best wishes.

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WAHT I HAVE DONE AT MOVIES WHERE ADULTS OR CHILDREN WERE DISRUPTIVE AND/OR DISRESPECTFUL.....We usually go to the movies at Shorline in Mt. View or The Mercado in Sunnyvale...once at Shorline, the people in front (the row just in front of us) were so loud, rude and obnoxious, after being told by management to settledown and it still didn't happen and they were not asked to LEAVE....I went to the ticket window and ask for my money back....I got my money back.

So, don't suffer in silence, if people are bothersome and have been POLITELY ask to stop and management has also asked, then go ask for your money back or new tickets!

Blessings.......

Dear E.,

Since your a new Mama, I hope you will take this to heart, it will save you some greif in the future.

I see this all the time, even in the nicest places. Some parents think their child is just so cute going from table to table or running up and down the isles making noise, that no one minds. People MIND, it’s annoying and not cute at all. It sounds like your little guy didn’t belong at this particular place.

I never let my child just walk or run around in a public place, restaurant, movie, church, grocery store, malls, etc. If he started getting restless or noisy, I took him outside so he could be noisy and run around if he wanted to. Parks, playground, your own home are places you can decide what’s O.K. or not O.K.

As for someone else shushing a child, if the parents aren’t taking care of the situation, I will say something and I think it is O.K. The manner, in which one does this, is another matter. For instance if I’m in a store and a child is running around unattended, I say where’s your mother or father? I tell them, go find your parents and stop running around. I especially hate those little shopping carts at the store, if the parents aren’t monitoring the children and the little ones are running into people because they are using the cart for a TOY!

If a child is in someone else’s home and does something out of line and the parent does not correct the child, I think its O.K. for the person whose home it is, to say something.

What parents view as not noisy or annoying, especially by the little ones, may be viewed quite differently by others. It’s a very touchy situation, but I would recommend all parents keep a close eye on their children when the family is in a public place.

A shouting match like the one you described should have never taken place. To escalate an already angry situation can sometimes be dangerous, especially with people you don’t know. What if your fiancé got into a fight and was hurt? Wouldn’t it be better to have just left or ask the manager or security if it was O.K. for your child to be doing what he was doing? Then they could have spoken to the men or let you know what their policy was.

Blessings.....

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One thing to remember is that we set examples for our kids - yelling and cussing and getting mad in public in front of your child really is not appropriate. No wonder the management asked you to leave , that is really embarassing for you. What is your boss r colleague had been there - they might be shocked by your rude behavior.

Also in those IMAX theatres I have learned that the smallest sound travels a long way, and even just whispering can be heard by anyone. Why would you disagree with the 2 men who said they could hear your child? Were they liars? Or maybe they were telling the truth, and you could not accept it.

Yes, it seems like it was rude the way those 2 men shushed you r child. However you can't control their behavior, but you can control yours.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time for children under 5 years. I would never have taken my 5 years old to the IMAX. As well, my mother saw that movie this week, and nearly felt sick with the rushing camera work, so that to me is doubly cruel - expecting an 18 mth old to watch what you are watching, and then not to react to it.

I always took my kids out in public, but only to places that were age-appropriate. There are much less headaches for everyone involved. Next time try Hiller Aviation Museum where small children are catered to (but don't let him climb the exhibits). I have found it difficult to give up my adult entertainment when my kids were babies, but when they grow up, we can catch up.

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I, too, agree you were in the wrong. Just because a movie is a family movie does not mean that it is an appropriate atmosphere for all children. It means that children are welcome IF they can sit there quietly. How distracting it is to keep having someone get up and down or pacing in back of the theater. I don't blame the men for saying something. I bet they gave off lots of clues that they were annoyed but you didn't pick up on them. I have five children and did not take them to a movie until they were almost 4. I have also paid a lot of money to get into a theater to watch a movie only to have a small child either singing, humming, talking, during the movie - ruining it for my family. We were extremely annoyed as was everyone else around us. When asked politely to PLEASE keep the child quiet, the mom reported that it was a kids movie and this is what kids do. Once again, a family movie is intended for children but they MUST be able to SIT in a theater quietly without disturbing others.

I just read your response to this situation. I don't think you actually heard the advice that everyone gave you. To say you handled the situation correctly tells me that. That you didn't use any bad words makes it ok to approach someone when you were in the wrong?? The advice was that you should have never had your baby in the theater to begin with and since you made a booboo you should have apologized and left it at that!! It is not a matter of being "ashamed" of your child. It is a matter of respecting other people's rights. We all love our children too and want to be with them as you stated but not at the expense of other people.

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Hello E.,
Why do other people have to be put in a position to deal with loud children (your children) if they don't have any with them. Why can't they enjoy their time? I have 2 wild boys and with my first he would not sit still for more then 15 mins at a time at 18 months. In fact, he was so crazy at this age (just wanting to walk and run)we avoided taking him to many public places. We stayed home a lot during this age because its not fare to him to expect to sit still like older children/adults and its not right to subject others around you to this. They want to enjoy their time. End of story. That is the joys of having children. We have friends who are childless and have a lot of annual parties. many children are invited too. Butwe opt not to bring our children many times because of their stage of behavior and the length of time and other guests are there to have a relaxing evening. Sure children joining our lives, however, its not right to put them or others in a situation that is not stuitable for them. Believe me, when I go on a date night with my husband and i hear children yelling and screaming in the background, I get upset. Get my point. There are times I will leave my now 14 month old with a sitter and take my 3.5yr old with me depending on where Im going. Please be considerate to others around you, its called respect and you don't own the place. Children's behviors are a reflection of the parents and you can't blame the child. So when the 2 guys blurted out, they were talking to you not your child. You are responsible for your child and their actions not others around you. This is just the begining for you. Wait till your child hits 2yrs old. That is when my hell really started. Sorry you had this encounter and I hope you take the responses in a constructive manner and not hostile. In the end, both of you were wrong and actually, your not going to like this. But you should have been the bigger person and told them you were sorry. How would this be any different if you were having a loud conversation on your cell phone in the theater. Its the same thing. They were just trying to enjoy the show and it is teaching your child also about manners when they see how you act. If you are just shouting and nothing is getting resolved, is that how you want your child to be raised? Try to enjoy this time it goes by so fast.

Take care
SAHM 40yrs old with 2 funny wild little boys. 3 & 1. (was walking at 7months)they move at the speed of light and I don't come up for air much. My boys are the center of my world. And I don't make their behavior someone else problems.

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There is story time at our library for 18 to 3 year olds. The staff let the parent know if the child wants to play/ walk around that they should leave the area so the other children do not get distracted. If this is expected at the toddler story time then it defiantly applies to the movie. Many parents are used to getting away with their child causing distractions because most people are too polite to say anything and just deal with it since they understand he is a small child. Next time leave and complain to your friends about “these men” and vent until you are over it. My son will be 3 in a few months and I think 17 to 20 months were the hardest for me in terms of going to dinner or quiet places. Now I can take him with me to a quick doctor check up or even an appointment to an attorney’s office to go over paperwork (I would have not done this when he was 18 months old). He even sat through the 15 minute movie at Mt. Rushmore when my husband and I took our niece. We were really surprised and assumed one of us would have to leave with him.
:) S.

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I have three children of my own, so I know what it is like to have an 18 month old. When they were that young my husband and I did not take them into theaters because we knew that even though they don't mean to be, 18 month olds can be a sorce of distraction to others in that kind of enviroment.
Is yelling a good example to be setting?

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Sounds like they weren't the nicest guys, but honestly, I didn't take my kids to the movies until they were much older, as it is just too hard for them to sit still and be quiet. I think as moms we experience so much chaos during the day that we get numb to it, so what seems like "quiet" and "calm" to us really isn't for the rest of the world. :)

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You might not like this answer, but here it is. I think you were both wrong.

Family movie or not, it was a movie, and people expect quiet in movies, and an 18 month old is too young to sit quietly through a movie. So, taking him into the movie was probably not the best decision. I also think that confronting the guys was not the best decision either, especially if it got to the point of yelling.

The guys should not have directly addressed you either. If they were really bothered by your son, they should have talked to the museum staff about it and had them address you.

I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience.

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I have been to many movies where I got a baby sitter and left my two children at home and then got to listen to other peoples children during the movie. It is frustrating. Very frustrating. You should have taken your child out. Playing during a movie may have seemed quiet to you... but not the others focused on the movie. And to fight with the men afterwards, seems like a bad lesson for all children there. I would have given them an apology.
That being said, the last time we were at the tech museum the girls we were with were shushed during the preview. Then the woman, who was with kids, continued to be annoyed even when the girls were being silent. I thought that was a little uncalled for.

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Although we may think our child is being quiet, to others it sounds completely different. In a movie setting, you should have taken the child outside. It was distracting enough for the two men to say something. You shuffling in and out of your seat and him talking at some points and Playing!! is rude. You should have been more considerate. Our society lacks consideration.

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I can see why you'd be angry, but I would never take an 18 month old to a movie. It's just too young to be quiet for that amount of time, and it's not fair to the others watching the movie. Sorry! : (

Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy!

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What an unfortunate experience for all of you. Both parties could have handled the situation with a lot more grace and maturity.
However, a movie theater is not the place in which to let an 18 month old play and walk about. I have two young ones as well, and they are never allowed to roam around in restaurants, theaters, or any enclosed venue not specifically child-centric.
It amazes me that parents think that just because their child can walk, they have license to roam around in any setting.

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Hi E..

It isn't polite to chastise anyone, young or old, in view or hearing range of others. Unfortunately, it is also impolite not to consider other people's sensitivities.

As parents we get VERY use to the noises our children make. You did a great job and were obviously considering the distraction your son was making when you took him to the back of theater and away from others. Unfortunately, the smaller, softer noises we're use to and easily overlook, often times are the ones that drive other people batty.

The person who shooed your child to begin with could have been more sensitive in the way he approached the situation. The two of them could have even moved (given there was plenty of space this time). They were wrong.

Unfortunately, your reaction was also confrontational and escalated the situation. VERY few people like to be -told- what to do. So, I certainly don't blame you for being surprised and agitated...'Just think it would have been best to sweep up your son at that point, take him out of the theater, and when the two guys came out try to think of something easily taken 2 ways.

Sarcasm in a nice voice for example: 'Thank you for letting me know my son was being too loud. Sometimes he forgets he's not an adult.' This message leaves the recipient walking away scratching their heads and -hopefully- re-thinking what they had said to prompt the remark. And, if need be, can easily be defended as well intentioned (if your tone of voice is right).

Bottom-line: The old adage of 2 wrongs don't make a right fits here. You -may- have overlooked noises you're use to and were rude. The men were rude back. You responded in a challenging way. Your finance could have paid the price for all of the above. Would his having gotten into a fight, possibly get hurt or arrested, etc. been worth it?

Patience for everyone, E.. Not just your son...

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I'm afraid I have to disagree with you. My feeling is that a feature movie about the Grand Canyon is not age appropriate for an 18 month old child. As you experienced there is little in the film that would hold his attention. The instant he began to fidget you should have removed him from the theatre and gone outside. It was disrespectful to others in the theatre to impose your child's very typical 18 month old behavior upon them, particularly in a venue requiring peace and quiet in order to enjoy. As for confronting the guys who asked you to stop disturbing them, your response should have been to apologize not to attack.

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From mom to mom, I have to say I agree with most of the responses here. And, yes, I have kids! :) Your child is simply too young to be in a theater. He cannot be expected to sit quietly for that long and, in a movie theater, people should sit quietly. A child walking around and talking is distracting to others who paid their money to see and HEAR the show. You may think he wasn't being disruptive but those men obviously heard him.

Granted, that man should not really have spoken to your son (I'm not sure if he made a hand gesture or actually spoke to him) but the other one spoke to YOU directly, as he should have. I believe they could have been much more polite about it but he was probably pretty irritated by that point.

You should not have confronted them after the show. You should have simply apologized and let it go. Someone could have gotten hurt. Next time, take him to a show specifically for children! :)

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sorry for your experience..it is always hard when people confront and when people put their beiliefs onto others. I have young children who I am diligent about teaching social skills and manners to and they are baffled by the rude world.

With that said, I think it is very dispruptive for me and my kids to have somone in and out of movie, or crying in a restaurant, so I always left and pray people do.. the point of a movie is to escape from distractions, sit back and dive in..There are some wonderful movie theaters who welcome wandering for special films...I just think your precious little guy is not ready and it might be better for your blood pressure and what you model for your little guy, to skip sit down areas in public for just a bit..and you never know who is a nut job out there so confrontation is a gamble....

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Hello E.: I have 5 children and several grandchildren. So I am responding from that point of view.
We have always tried to be respectful with our children at public places because I know that others have to pay good money just as we do to go places and it is distracting for them and takes the enjoyment from thier time if my children are rude or we are in taking care of them.
Recently at a restruant a family was totally rude by not controlling their children. I did want to ask them if they were going to pay for our night out as they ruined it *But* to set the example I went to the manager and told him how I felt-- seems that others had already done it and he went over and talked to them. So yes if it is disturbing and uncalled for I think it is alright to tell the responsible parent that you are not pleased to have the disturbance.
Just know that this is not life destroying and apart of the growing process of learning. Parenthood is a great adventure and a wonderful journey that I have always treasured. Nana G

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Sorry Mom,
You are responsible to ensure that your child does not disturb other participants to an event. If you didn't either quiet him - tell him to use his wisper voice - or take him outside if that was not enough, then the other viewers are right to shoosh him. They were really telling YOU that he was disturbing them. You were out of line on both counts, first to be offended at their letting you know he was a problem, and second in trying to "correct" them. If you had apologised for disturbing them, this would have all gone differently.

Children have short attention spans, and often cannot make it though films and other events, but it is never appropriate to let a child play, moving between the rows and isles at a sitdown event. If parents do not prevent children from spoiling events for others, then eventually managment bans children from the event because it is the adults who are buying tickets. You want others to help you with your child, and maybe catch them in a dangerous situation where you cannot reach them, and you definitely do not want to earn the tag "wacko mom", so chill!

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18 mo. is simply too young to take a child to any type of movie. They cannot handle the sitting nor do they have the attention span to watch, even if it's something they like. They need to be at least 3 yrs old to start enjoying movies and that's usually only at home where they can wiggle. Next time let the family watch a movie and you go do something else like have a snack, other museum activites, or whatever. Kids that young are loud in a movie setting- it's unavoidable. THat said, the others should not have "shooed" you. If they had a problem, they should have sought the museum staff to handle the situation. Lastly, please do not get in confrontations with others.In this day and age it is not only DANGEROUS, but I'm sure it upset your son to see all these people so angry. By the way, the same goes for restaurants - kids just can't do the sitting. If he's getting restless or loud, take him outside - not around the restaurant. You and your hubby take shifts outside with him.

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Sounds to me like everyone handled the situation poorly. I understand that you felt like your child was being attacked, and your response was he's just being a kid.

However, the cost of going to those movies is not cheap. At 18 months old he can not keep his attention on the movie and moves on to something else. Regardless of how those men handled it, they had paid to see the movie and had every right to see it uninterrupted. As the parent, you should have taken your son outside of the theater. Letting him run around the back was not a solution. Even though those men were the only ones who said something, trust me... everyone else in the theater was thinking the same thing!

Further, the situation could have ended right then and there, but you aggravated it by approaching them after the movie and it escalated into a fight. Perhaps next time you will take the high road and just walk away.

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it sounds like this went very badly from the stary and lots of emotions became involved. i do not support anyone "shoo"ing a child. from another perspective, you mentioned "no one" was in the back, when later you discuss the two men who were watching the movie. in your mind, your darling 18 month old might have been being cute and normal. for others, the disruption and noise of people talking and walking and not watching a movie is bothersome. your 18month old was obviously not the target audience and if it was not interesting for him, you should have left. this would have allowed everyone to avoid what turned into an ugly confrontation.

I feel badly that you went through that experience. We are so protective of our precious little babies, like a mother lion, that, our claws can come out when someone says something awful to them. I know how hard it is to get an 18 month old to sit still but unfortunately, we have to be respectful to others during a movie and leave if the child can't sit still or be quiet. That certainly doesn't excuse the awful remarks that the two people made and you had every right to confront them.

When our four children were young, we only took them to a drive in movie once in awhile. As a child free adult now, I do not like to attend a movie with young children. I paid my dues to other parents by keeping my young children home and not going myself or my husband. Now I want to attend movies without being distracted by little voices loud or not loud. Or kids walking around the area. If a child can not sit down and be quiet, then they are too young to be at an indoor theatre. The cost to attend a movie is expensive and people want what they paid for. When your kids are older, then you can take them. I am really sorry those two guys gave you such a difficult time but behaving like that in front of your child was not a good example to do. You have to calm down to get through years and years of Mommyhood. Say a prayer, count to 10 or a hundred, or just walk away and let it go. What can patrons do to watch the movie they paid a good amount of money for? The Grand Canyon is more for older children as it really isn't made for the preschool age to hold thier attention. Try a Disney movie at a theatre where all the little kids go in the afternoon if you do want to take him to an indoor movie. He will be older before you know it.
F.

Dear E.,

In any movie theater is is customary for the audience to expect quiet enjoyment. While the men who spoke up when they heard your child may have been overly sensitive, it would have been appropriate for you to apologize (and leave, as you did). He was talking to you, surely, because he asked you to take him outside. In any event, if you had again apologized to him when the movie was over, and said you thought your son was enjoying parts of the movie, and was not bothering anyone, he probably would have apologized back and sympathized, saying, "I couldn't take my child anywhere until she was 14" , and you all would have laughed. Or he might still have been huffy, but at least you would have given him a chance, and avoided a scene, which is more detrimental to your child than being told to shush.

Dear E.,

I do think that the guys at the movie were rude. However, I also agree with some of other mamas who said that you have a young child. You are used to noise. Other people may not be used to noise, so it is wise to be considerate of others. Howesver, Your son is young. From now until he's 18 (& even after that!), people will give you unsolicited advice & make judgements about you and your family. They will compare their kids to yours, they will criticize what you do, how you dress your kids, what foods you let your kids eat, what college your son chooses, etc. The list will go on and on. All of this is part of being a parent. Let it go. Ignore what people say. Let things go in one ear & out the other. It's not worth it to get into verbal or physical arguments. The best thing for you to do is for YOU to be a good example to your son. Just let it go.

i wouldn't take my 18mo into a movie, BUT those people were sooo rude! so sorry that happened, i can imagine how stressed it would have made me & helpless feeling & to ruin part of your vacation for that moment! they sounded crazy! they should've backed off when you confronted them

Hi E.-
Let me just say that some people will always think themselves above everyone else.
It is never appropriate to shoo a child. Instead, they should have politely asked you if you could take your son outside because his up and down was distracting to them during the movie. I am perfectly aware that your child was not bothersome, but some people are bothered by very little. The other thing is that if your son was being loud or interrupiting the film, the people- who stated they had children- could have spoken to your child and said, would you please sit down and watch the movie with us? If not, then they could ask you again- to you take your son outside. Maybe they have nanny's and don't take their children into public. Who knows.
The last thing is- and I have done this- is that when a child is misbehaving and the parents ignore them, I say something to the parents. It is not the child's fault if they are running a muck or kicking the back of your theater seat and playing with their electronics during a movie. And if the parent ignores you, approach their child with a "perhaps you should go and sit with your mother/father" and direct them.
But to just shoo them like they are a fly and then to be rude to you without even attempting to be sociable and polite is unacceptable, and I am glad you said something to them about their total lack of social grace.
It is a great thing for you to consider sitting in the back and keeping your child quiet and taking him in and out. Forcing him to sit through an entire film could have been much noisier! Kids have smaller attention spans, and that museum has so much to take in.
I hope this helps.
-E.

Hi,

I think it was for the couple(guys) to shooed at your child,not only they shooed they also said shut up..It was wrong of them to do that, especially they young kids with them. A good parents should set example to their kids, they should have asked you nicely..What they did was like showing their kids, that it's okay to shoo other people and tell them to shut up. It's good that you stand up for what you think is right, and I would the same thing too.

For the other people out there, even if you were in a movie or restaurants.. if you think someone is annoying by the noise they're making, Be the bigger person come up and ask them nicely...it's not polite to shoo someone or shut them up cause that shows lack of manners especially you're a parent yourself.

At the beginning of every movie in a theater they have a please turn off your phones and keep your kids quiet little reminder for a reason. Everyone there paid a lot of money to see a movie not to watch your son or hear him playing in the back. I have a 1 and 3 year old and we get a sitter for movie nights and if it is a kids movie and they get antsy one of takes the child out of the theater, PERIOD.

You may have been approached rudely to your standards but your child was misbehaving in an inappropriate way while you let him.

I don't think they were shooing your child to make him feel bad they were shooing him to get you to quiet him down or leave.

It is never all right for you to impose your childs "cuteness" on others in an inappropriate place.

I had something like that happen to me at a restaurant. They told me to take my daughter to ??? (i cant remember what they actually said but it meant a trashy restaurant) I was so mad. How dare they say that. They could of told me a little more politely. I had a few choice words to say to them. But before I got any out my father in law, who is a cop, turned around and gave them a good talking to(he has a way of saying things without having to say them I think it's the cop in him) I did feel bad that she was making noise. I wouldn't of got mad if they were polite about it. I think the same is with you. What made you more mad then anything is how they dealt with it.

Hi E.,

Yes, I would have to agree that those guys were extremely rude by the way they handled the situation but in my opinion I would have taken my child outside to play. I guess I have learned over the years that there are a lot of things that parents have to sacrifice; this being one of them. I did not take my kids to a movie until about the age of 3 or 4; depending on which of my children we are talking about. My 4 year old may still not be able to sit still in a theatre let alone keep quiet. This will probably be one of the things that you have to forfeit for awhile.

If anything you can chalk this up to a learning experience. Take care!

The men should have asked you politely if you could please take your child outside so they could enjoy the movie, but you should have also taken your child outside when he first got restless. Family movie or not, it's rude to let your child walk around a movie theater. We haven't even bothered taking my three-year-old to a movie because I know her personality, and she would either want to run around or want to loudly tell me about the movie as we are watching it, and that just wouldn't be fair to the others in the theater. I'm sorry you experienced that; those men were rude and it made for a bad situation all around.

While it's rude to shoo a child... doesn't seem like a good time or place for you to be bringing a 18 month old. Sad that it escalated, but movies and 18 mos olds really don't mix. Maybe in a childs museum or on momma & baby matinees... but otherwise... sorry if this upsets you. I have a newborn and a 2 1/2yr old myself... and would never torture others in a movie with their noises - no matter how good their being. :)

I'm sorry those guys were so rude, but I agree with some of the other mammas. I did not take any of my children to a movie theater...even to see a Disney animated movie until they were closer to 3 yo and could sit still through that type of movie at home. If those guys had just shushed your child and left it at that, it would have been acceptable. Children DO need to learn the rules of the places they visit. What you considered quiet play or cute exclamations is just noise and distraction to someone without or with grown children. Movies and museums are expensive so people expect to view, especially a movie without noise or distraction. At a children's movie, people expect antsy little kids, especially during matinee times but any other movie they do not generally appreciate it.

As I have 3 children, I am quite tolerant, but recently at a movie, some teens just would not be quiet...they talked all through the previews, which was no big deal, but kept talking and giggling after the movie started. Several people including my husband and I...on our first movie date in MANY years, shushed those teens. Teenagers are old enough to know better, but that training starts at the age your little one is now.

Again, sorry for the confrontation, but now you have the consensus of the mommies and see what others' perspective is on the situation. As a mamma, we are used to noise and antics that others are not and we want to protect and stand up for our children so although I understand how you feel, you need to consider all points of view when you're out in public with your little.

I thiNk it's a grey area. As parents it's our job to control the situation an monitor how others are responding. Sometimes I think it's best when something like that comes up to just apologize to the people who are annoyed by our kids and if it's not the kids fault there are just some asses out there who don't understand kids and wont no matter what. People can be wierd when they are trying to have an experience and are interrupted. I think the key is to keep the kids in appropriate situations. Sadly movies and other quiet environments are that grey area if people aren't ok with it sometimes you just have to suck it up. I feel for you though nouing more annoyig than monitoring your own kid and havin someone else step in

For anyone who wants to take a young child to a movie to see how they do, AMC does "sensory friendly" movies about once a month. The next one, according to their website is Sept 19 "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" (a memorable book -- I don't know what the movie will be like). These are sponsored by the Autism Society of America, so expect a lot of people with disabilities in the audience.

Here's an excerpt from their website:
AMC Entertainment (AMC) and the Autism Society have teamed up to bring families affected by autism and other disabilities a special opportunity to enjoy their favorite films in a safe and accepting environment on a monthly basis with the "Sensory Friendly Films" program.
In order to provide a more accepting and comfortable setting for this unique audience, the movie auditoriums will have their lights brought up and the sound turned down, families will be able to bring in their own gluten-free, casein-free snacks, and no previews or advertisements will be shown before the movie. Additionally, audience members are welcome to get up and dance, walk, shout or sing - in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced unless the safety of the audience is questioned.