30 answers

Is It a "Lie" to Tell Your Kids Santa Is Real?

Ok I know this is a weird question, but...I just thought about this. Do any of you believe it is lying to your children telling them Santa is real? It's just I want my kids to trust me and I want to be completely honest with them about everything so maybe they'll want to do the same with me. I just think when they find out the truth one day it can be heart breaking when they find out he's not real. I maybe be looking to far into this, but my kids arent really old enough to totally understand it good. But anyways this question is kind of for fun just to see what everyone else thinks!
By the way it is NOT spoling the magic of Christmas by telling them he's not real. What is so bad about knowing that your parents and loving family and friends worked their butts off to buy them those presents? I dont think anything is wrong with that. It is still magical Santa or not. Because when they go to bed and wake up with a TON of presents under the tree while they are sound asleep, I think thats pretty magical.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

If we can't tell kids Santa, is real...

Then we can't tell them to believe in fairy tales, Tinkerbell, princes and castles, imaginary friends, magical lands...or just about anything they read in a book.
I think I want my kid to be allowed an imagination. To dream about magical things. To marvel, at life and have wonder. Too soon, the world be very real to him and these things will just be a memory.

Kids grow out of Santa. Everyone I've known says they just grew up and knew it wasn't real. I've never met an adult, that is haunted by finding out about Santa. Santa is NOT harmful. I think parents are uptight about this and segregate their kids from enjoying, what other children enjoy.

6 moms found this helpful

I've never met a kid who told their parents "I lie to you about sex, drugs and stealing because you let me believe Santa was real until I was 10."

I've also never met a kid who said, "The fact that you lied to me about Santa lead me down this road to self destruction."

I just think that sometimes a child needs something to hold onto. I think there is a difference between a little white lie like 'Santa' or "In NO way do those jeans make you look fat" and a lie told with malicious devious intent.

5 moms found this helpful

My kids know that Santa is not real. They still watch Santa movies etc....but they know that Santa, the tooth fairy, easter bunny etc...are all Mom and Dad. I feel the same way you do, I don't ever want my kids to look back and say "It's ok to lie because Mom and Dad lied about Santa" - in my opinion, a lie is a lie......

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

<<GASP!!!!>>
Santa is NOT real?
No one told me!

OK--actually my mom told me...AND she threw The Tooth Fairy AND The Easter Bunny under the bus the same day.

I survived and I think my son will too! :-)

16 moms found this helpful

NO NO and NO! Do a search on this site because this question and topic have been on here about 5 times a day for the past month. It's fun; it's make believe; if your kid hits 8 or 10 or 12 and is so horrified that you "lied" to him or her about Santa, and cannot see it for the holiday fun that it is, then I think maybe there are other things going on at home. No one thought twice about this when I was a kid -we had fun, the parents had fun and we all found out sooner or later and it didn't affect our trust of mommy and daddy one iota.

14 moms found this helpful

Sigh... sometimes I think we Mamas really do spend too much time thinking about ways that we "might" scar our kids. I'm not saying this to be critical S., I just wonder when pretend and make believe became lying to our kids.

(Most) Kids grow up soon enough... they conform and lose the brilliance of imagination that almost all of us start out with, soon enough. What's wrong with letting them believe in the magic of things they can't see?

I know that your question is about Santa, but where does that end? My daughter and son love the idea of fairies, the easter bunny, santa, mermaids, dragons... I don't even have to provide additional info because they make up their own stories about them. I have the most wonderful artwork from my daughter about the tooth fairy (and other fairies). When they ask me if they are real I just ask them if they believe in them. There will come a time when they don't believe... soon enough.

9 moms found this helpful

I don't consider it lying to my kids, and I'm always surprised to hear adults talking about how "crushed" or "devastated" they were when they found out that Santa is an idea not a person. I remember finding out, but being excited to be let in on the secret and getting to help my parents keep up the act for my 3 younger siblings. I just can't imagine not allowing my children to believe in the magic of Santa. Is this really something we have to protect our kids from? I think not.

7 moms found this helpful

If we can't tell kids Santa, is real...

Then we can't tell them to believe in fairy tales, Tinkerbell, princes and castles, imaginary friends, magical lands...or just about anything they read in a book.
I think I want my kid to be allowed an imagination. To dream about magical things. To marvel, at life and have wonder. Too soon, the world be very real to him and these things will just be a memory.

Kids grow out of Santa. Everyone I've known says they just grew up and knew it wasn't real. I've never met an adult, that is haunted by finding out about Santa. Santa is NOT harmful. I think parents are uptight about this and segregate their kids from enjoying, what other children enjoy.

6 moms found this helpful

I'm a realist, very logical & find it hard to tell my kids things that aren't true. I do tell them Santa is real. My husband tells me it helps their imaginations...and I really think it does. Can you imagine a child making up a story about a flying horse (or something like that) & the parent saying..."no Billy, horses cannot fly." If a child is told these things over & over, it will greatly limit his imagination and creativity and that's an unfair thing to do to a child. Believe me, it's hard...but when something comes up before you answer, ask yourself...is this just an imaginative child being creative, or true misinformation considered to be a lie? I think the magic of Christmas is in the sense of wonder kids have about Santa, imagining how it all happens & the hope & anticipation they feel on Christmas Eve. I think telling them Santa is not real at a young age will steal some of their innocence.

6 moms found this helpful

Last year my 6 year old could fly. This year, he can "glide." Next year, it will probably called "jumping." I make sure he's not planning to fly or glide off the roof and let it be.

For my 6 year old, Santa is VERY real. If I told him otherwise RIGHT NOW, he'd be devastated - AND he'd come up with some other magic to believe in. Because he's 6.

When he's old enough, I hope Santa is "real" for him in the same way Santa is "real" for me - because *I* help make him real. And I hope he will want to help make Santa *real* for his little brothers at that time!

He all ready understands that Santa and parents are in cahoots. And when it's time, I hope he's not so literal-minded as to see this tradition of imaginary play as a "lie."

edit to add: I would hesitate to insist "Santa is REAL, he really comes down the chimney, and so on"...because that's pushing it. And it doesn't really matter to me what other folks do. I have been an elf for too long for it to phase me when people tell me my Xmas boss isn't real! : )

5 moms found this helpful

I've never met a kid who told their parents "I lie to you about sex, drugs and stealing because you let me believe Santa was real until I was 10."

I've also never met a kid who said, "The fact that you lied to me about Santa lead me down this road to self destruction."

I just think that sometimes a child needs something to hold onto. I think there is a difference between a little white lie like 'Santa' or "In NO way do those jeans make you look fat" and a lie told with malicious devious intent.

5 moms found this helpful

Not a lie at all, it's make believe, get the book "A Special Place for Santa"
http://www.amazon.com/Special-Place-Santa-Legend-Time/dp/...

Santa is the spirit of a real person, who has touched many people historically through his legend and his spirit lives on in this holiday.

Santa is real and alive for anyone who chooses to believe. The Santa's in the mall, are just his helpers since he is so buys working in the North Pole.

Once they figure out the mystery, then they are in on the make believe secret game for the younger kids around them to make the spirit of Santa continue.

here is a general run down of the historical santa:
http://www.the-north-pole.com/history/

5 moms found this helpful

No! People who tell their kids there is no Santa take away magic, fun, and joy from children. I am sure they mean well, but I can't help but feel they are grinches.

5 moms found this helpful

Warning. Be prepared for nasty adults to read you the riot act and tell you that you are robbing your child of all the fun they could ever have and stealing their childhood from them if you don't teach your kids to believe in Santa.

My kids know that Santa isn't real and they have the most fun at Christmas as ANY kid. Our household is waiting feverishly for Christmas morning to come and the gifts under the tree are practically covered in drool, THAT is how excited my kids are. They don't need Santa to make it better! They also don't need "Santa" to put the hammer down everytime they do something bad!

And anyone who calls me a "grinch" can kiss my pretty green tushie! :) We have Christmas spirit in spades at our house! Too bad people are so judgemental.
Oh, and some idiot lady told my kids that only "stupid people" don't believe in Santa. Made my sweet little ones cry!

5 moms found this helpful

No, it's make believe just like the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. I think you have a better chance of your kids being upset when they are older that they missed out on all of those years of excitement waiting for Santa to come than they would be when they find out he's not real. How many people do you know that were heartbroken and lost their parents trust over Santa compared to the people who have wonderful childhood memories believing in Santa?

4 moms found this helpful

I dont think that it is :-) Its FUN and MAGICAL !

4 moms found this helpful

My brother and I probably grieved as much or more than ANY other kids when they found out Santa of today was Mom and Dad. I would NOT have wanted them to do anything different. It is fun to think about now....How Santa came early one year while my Brother, Dad and I were out picking something up at the store and Mom was in the bathroom. What a hoot! And we never picked up on the fact that Santa had the best handwriting ever seen, JUST like my Moms ;-). He was pretty crafty over the years and how sad to have missed that. A friend of mine has a son who is questioning Santa and probably knows. She told him he could choose to believe in the magic of Christmas and help spread that for other children. That mixed with how Santa came to be is the route I will take with my daughter. So yes, technically it is lying, but DID you and your peers lose trust in your parents and family over it?

3 moms found this helpful

Is it a "lie" to tell your kids Santa is real?
No.
Santa is as real as justice, mercy, duty, etc.
There are many things we believe in that are not quite physically real,
but they have a big impact all the same.

3 moms found this helpful

Yes, said the grinch.

3 moms found this helpful

My kids know that Santa is not real. They still watch Santa movies etc....but they know that Santa, the tooth fairy, easter bunny etc...are all Mom and Dad. I feel the same way you do, I don't ever want my kids to look back and say "It's ok to lie because Mom and Dad lied about Santa" - in my opinion, a lie is a lie......

3 moms found this helpful

He is real. He is the magic of the season that lives in our hearts. I explain to my kids the story behind these characters (Santa, the Easter bunnie, ect..). I think on some level they understand that this means these are not actual people. I will not be the one to spoil the magic for them though, as long as they believe, Santa is real to them.

2 moms found this helpful

The problem with the line of thinking that your children won't trust you if you tell them Santa is real, is that you are then kind of denigrating ALL the hundreds of thousands of parents who do. As if telling a child that there is a Santa would cause them to distrust you. My mother is as trustworthy and religious as they come, and I have never not trusted her because she told me there was a Santa Claus. I say this with the best of intentions, S., because I really believe that all the folks who tell their kids that there is a Santa, are okay in doing it. I'm not trying to ruffle feathers or hurt feelings.

Also, when kids get older, they figure things out in their mind, just like we did growing up. After watching Disney movies, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, etc., kids really do figure out later the difference in wonderful fantasy and reality. I especially like the idea of showing the story of the "real" St Nicholas that is the basis for Santa. But that's for when they are older.

I never actually had to tell my kids there was no Santa. They read the book "The Polar Express" and I put a bell on the frig. When they actually asked me if Santa is real, I pointed to the bell and asked them, "Can you hear the bell?". They never asked again. My MIL told me a long time ago that when her kids asked, she reminded them that there were gifts under the tree from Mom and Dad, and from SC. She told them if there were no Santa Claus, then there will be no gifts from SC. They didn't ask a second time, LOL!

Hope this is helpful to you as your children get older.
D.

2 moms found this helpful

Actually, I think it is a lie, which is why we don't really do Santa in our house. But I don't think it's a bad or malicious lie, and I don't judge parents who do it. I can see the make-believe argument, too.

2 moms found this helpful

no he exist in your heart and at the age of 41 I realized how real santa is. :)

and this is 29 yrs after my parents told me he wasnt real. :)

2 moms found this helpful

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/14037109845866446849

When did it all of a sudden become not okay to let kids believe in Santa?

2 moms found this helpful

I don't think telling your kids there is a Santa will cause them to lose all faith in you as a parent when they realize that there isn't an actual one person named Santa Claus that lives in the North Pole with flying reindeer. We talk to our kids about Santa and let them know that Santa has lots of helpers and we are his helpers. My oldest is 10 and his dad told him that there wasn't really a Santa but that there are many people who take on the role to help others out. I then came across an article about a secret Santa who lives in Missouri(I think he is in Kansas City- but I could be wrong) He dresses up as Santa every year and goes to thrift stores and soup kitchens and hands out $100 bills to people. On this particular day he had already given out $10,000 and it was estimated that by the time Christmas came around he would have handed out more than $40,000- all of his own money. He has taken over for the previous Secret Santa who passed away a couple of years ago.
I had my son read the article and then told him-"see, Santa does exist".
So, no- I dont' think it is lying. I think if you teach it right, it is really teaching them more about giving and helping others than anything else.
~C.

2 moms found this helpful

I think that however you want to raise your children regarding this matter is totally up to you. I highly doubt that they would be upset with you for "lying" about Santa...at least I never associated it with being lied too. And it's not like it is a bad lie, I got more presents when I believed in Santa :p

I, personally, am all for telling my kids there is a Santa. As stated by other mamas on here, I want my children to have a large imagination...but here are some more fun Santa questions you could check out:

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/santa?utm_campaign=t...

1 mom found this helpful

I completely understand you point of view.

However, I was raised believing in Santa, until about age 8 when I was too smart for my own good and figured it out. Mom let me have fun with it and I got to be Santa and wrap all my little brothers gifts and even help put them under the tree. I guess I'm still a kid, and want to play Santa.

I've passed on the Santa tradition to my children, and even though they are older now, I still want to keep the spirit alive. I have the girls write letters to Santa (1. I want to have a shopping list - 2. I think they should tell Santa why they deserve gifts). I wait until Christmas eve and put all fill the stockings and put the gifts under the tree once they are asleep. It's part of what makes Christmas magical for our family.

1 mom found this helpful

I loved keeping the "Santa myth" alive for as long as possible! It was fun to sneak around, get them to write letters to Santa etc etc. HOWEVER, I did NOT lie to them when they (eventually) asked me straight out; "Is Santa real?" Even though I told them that the "Department Store Santas" are obviously fake cos the "real" Santa is busy in the North Pole! :) They're teens now and don't hold it against me ... in fact they wish Santa WAS real cos a lot of what they want is out of our price range!! :)

1 mom found this helpful

we tell our kids from the start that santa is just a guy wearing a costume. Yes, we do think that it is lying to your kids when you tell them that santa is real. We need our kids to be able to trust us

Yes, I think it is lying. That is why we don't tell our kids that he is real. You can still celebrate the season but don't put the focus on Santa.

I still remember how upset I was when I caught my dad putting all the presents from Santa under the tree----it was awful--- then I didn't trust them as far as the easter bunny, tooth fairy etc. for a very long time.

just my two cents.

M

i dont think so. its no different then talking about the easter bunny, tooth fairy, boogy man etc. i was about 7 when i realized that santa was just my mom and i was ok with it. i did not spoil it for my friends or my younger siblings. santa is very real for kids who recieve gifts from toys for tots and who get gift delivered from the marines. its your choice as a parent to decide if you want your child to believe or not. young children think that the cartoons they watch are real.

however i find a strange connection between god and santa-
both watch you contstantly
both know when your good or bad
both know all about you..
both are fairly forgiving
people may think im crazy but i think they are the same person lol.. please people dont think im knocking religion in any way. its meant to be funny.. ya know haha funny

When my boys would ask if Santa is real, I would ask them what they thought and we would have some great conversations. I didn't want to lie, nor did I want to spoil the magic.
My mom broke down crying when I was 5 telling me Santa wasn't real. Heck, I had figured that out long before then.
V.

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