Is Halloween About Family or Friends? Who Do Yuor Kids Trick or Treat With?

Updated on October 26, 2012
J.M. asks from Doylestown, PA
22 answers

do your kids go out with siblings or sisters and brothers?

my brother and i went out together when we had common friends but if we didnt that year we'd split up and meet back at home later.
do you think its about family togetherness or is it a holiday meant for friends ?
if your kids want to go with friends instead of siblings would you let them?

i should also mention both cant be done. she cant go out with friends and family. its a divorced family so its either friends or with future step sisters

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Friends but I never let the kids go anywhere without an adult walking along with them. It's J. not going to happen. They understand this and I am adamant about the rules in the dark with everyone in disguise.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Friends.

I take the little kids around on my street to say hi to the neighbors. Oldest son goes out with a couple of his friends. Daughter went out with some of her friends last year. Then we all meet up at a friend's house in another neighborhood where the kids go trick or treating again if they want to and the adults sit outside and drink wine, eat, and sit around a fire pit in the front yard. That's the BEST part of the night!

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

You've got it all wrong. Halloween is about the CANDY. :-)

That said, my boy still trick or treat together (9 and 11). But we also go to our church's HUGE party and see tons of friends there. My hubs and I are running the fake rodeo bull this year. YEEEE HAW!

4 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

I vote friends, once they are old enough to go out on their own. When we were little, my brother and I went together and our dad took us. When we were older (i.e. 8 and up), I went with my friends and he went with his. You have all the other holidays, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, for them to spend together as family. For Halloween they should be able to go with their friends and have fun, not be obligated to spend it with possible future stepsisters.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

It all boiled down to when my parents felt comfortable letting us go off on our own. Until that happened, it was family only. I was in 7th or 8th grade before I was allowed to go trick or treating alone with my friends. To M., Halloween isn't so much of a "family" holiday except in the fact that parents don't necessarily want their kids roaming around without supervision. So, I would say, if you feel comfortable letting them go with friends, no reason to make them stick with family.

2 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Friends - we started going off with our own groups of friends when we were about 10. Until then, my parents took all 5 of us kids together.

That being said, does she normally have plenty of opportunities to bond with her future step sisters? Do they already get along well? If so, then I'd let her go the friend route. If they need to work on building their relationship, I'd go with the step sibs.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My kids are 6 & 10 now, we all go out as a family, in the neighborhood.
This year, we will also have some friends and their kids with us.
It is on a school night.
Therefore, it is a busy evening... the kids have homework, there needs to be dinner and trick or treating all done by bedtime.

My kids like to go together. It is special for them, together.

2 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

little like under 6, my whole family did it as a group. Once my sisters were too old, and I hit like 7 or 8 I did it with friends chaperoned by one of the parents.

My kids now, we go in a group of moms. We are like a wave of screaming, crazy, hyped up sugar fiends. I bet we leave those houses reeling in anxiety, and they need a nap afterwards.

2 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My kids go together...but they have a different dynamic. They actually get along 90% of the time. This year, our friends who have kids the same ages are coming over and we are all going together.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from New York on

Definitely a holiday for friends.

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B.F.

answers from Chicago on

I think this one is about friends. My 10 year old for the first time wants to go with his friends instead of his younger brother. I ok'ed it and my little one is going with his own friends. We may do the big finale together, J. up and down our street, as our elderly neighbors would be disappointed if we didn't stop by.

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I find this to be such an odd question. When children are little, obviously they would be with parents and siblings. As they get older and more social it becomes more about spending fun time with friends.

We're lucky that every year we spend Halloween with friends that my children adore, so they get to spend time with their friends and I get to spend time with my friends and we're all happy because we're still all together. Earlier in the evening when it's still light out, our town center closes off Broad Street and all of the businesses open their doors to trick or treaters. The Town Green sets up a huge movie screen and there are booths and tables set up by additional businesses, the police, the firehouses, and department of social services passing out candy to trick or treaters too. On top of that, surrounding the Town Green is the Tourist Center, a church, the library, and some other First Town Historical buildings all open for trick or treating.

This year our own church is having a big Halloween party in the lower church on Saturday for all of the catechism children and their parents, as well as anyone else who wants to attend from the church's private school and youth groups. The church is providing everything although most families will contribute too. It's always a wonderful time. Then when everyone goes to the All Soul's mass, there's a feeling of family and togetherness because everyone is still buzzing from all of the candy at the party. :-)

There are ALWAYS friends around. It's J. not nearly as fun without them.

1 mom found this helpful

B.S.

answers from Lansing on

When I was younger it was as a family. I even remember at a certain age my brother and I going out together alone. When I got older I did go out a couple times with friends. But from memory it was only a couple times right before it was the age to stop trick or treating. The rest of the time was with my brother and/or my sister.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I don't let my oldest go off with his friends. I don't trust teen kids not to get into trouble and he is one that wants to try to fit in and be cool. So no way. Mine are 10 & 13. I am willing to take one other with us sometimes but not many more than that. Other peoples kids get on my nerves a lot and I can't J. tell them to shut up! :) That's J. M..

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

We trick or treated together until my sister was about 9... Then she went with her friends..

1 mom found this helpful

F.M.

answers from San Antonio on

My son is 4, so for all four Halloween's, he has trick-or-treated with my neice, who is now 10. So - a family event. We'd meet at "Nana's House" and she made a big pot of Chili. Papa stayed home while the parents and Nana trick-or-treated with the two cousins.

This year, now that my neice is 10 and my son actually has other friends, we are considering a few ideas: - still trick or treat with Nana. Maybe my neice goes, maybe not. - go to one of those "trunk or treat" community/church events with J. M. and husband and 4 yr old. - go to one of thoe community things with his 5 yr old "best friend". Still not sure!

1 mom found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

The only time my kids trick or treated together was when they were too young to go with friends. Sorry but I am not nice enough to take one and then the other. Once they were five they starting planning with friends, they met up, did their thing and came home.

The only reason sibs go together is when someone has to supervise them. It is a function of one adult not the desire to be with their sibs.

1 mom found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

When they were little, it was family, including cousins and aunties/uncles.
But once they hit about 7 or 8 they started wanting to go with their friends. We (hubby and I, maybe a few other parents) still went with them, but we hung back a bit.
Once they were 11/12 they went ONLY with their friends. We had a designated drop off/pick up place and time, and they had a blast being out on their own :)

1 mom found this helpful

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

My boys are 8 and 4 and it's always been a family event. We go to our churches harvest party (my mom goes to that with us), then my husband and I take them trick-or-treating in the neighborhood behind the church.

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

It is a huge social gathering for our block. We live in a large neighborhood and our area is in the section where there is more privacy, larger lots, etc.

I'll be busy from about 6pm-11pm. After all the trick or treating is done, we meet in the garage of another neighbor and have snacks and late happy hour.

I expect at least 500 children this year and I am well prepared with about 2000 items to hand out! It is as much for for us as it as the children!!!

Oh and daughter (17) does not participate other than to help M. with the children or she goes to a teen party somewhere. So, around here... very social outing.

1 mom found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

We do both. We take all 3 kids out in a group with their friends on the street. We all go out in a big group with many adults and kids. This year we are considering a block party since we live in a cul-du-sac so people don't have to go door to door. We have also become the neighborhood that surrounding neighborhoods drive their kids into for trick or treating so none of us want to open the door to our homes all night letting everyone look in. And...we all don't want to lock up our pets for the night with that many kids coming to the doors.
We do treat it as a family holiday but friends are included too.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Allentown on

I think that any holiday should be spent as a family and with the people that you want your children to be around. my husband and i make it point to take our girls out trick n treating together. This year we are going with my childhood friend and her daughter. I love the idea that we grew up together and now our kids are growing up together.

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