19 answers

Is Fear of Death During Labor Normal?

Im sorry to be so morbid with this post, because I am extremely overjoyed that I am going to have a baby. I guess my problem is, is that I suffer from high blood pressure and also mild anxiety ( before pregnancy, and now during), so I keep thinking something terrible is going to happen to me when I go in to labor. I have even been collectiing all my old photos and journals and diaries and putting them in one area " just in case," so my daughter will have things to remember me by. I thought maybe it was nesting, but it seems a bit dreary. Is this normal? And does anyone have any tips on how to overcome these fears? Thank you so much for your time, honesty, and wisedom ( in advance!)

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(I answered this already, but Mamapedia wants me to log in. Hope this is not a duplicate.)

You are feeling a lot of love for your unborn baby, and you want to protect it. But then you are afraid you won't be around. I felt the same way when my due date was near. I think this emotion is part of the pregnancy process. You are thinking about the baby's welfare. Just do stuff that makes sense to you -- if it makes you feel better that you have done it, don't stress, just go ahead and do it.

2 moms found this helpful

I think yes. I recently found out that I am pregnant with my second child. I am ecstatic, but nervous/anxious. I am getting life insurance and trying to leave everything organize in case things go errie.
I pray and hope everything goes for the best; but better safe than sorry.
No, we are not morbid, just realistic.
Good luck! Keep up with your doctor appt. and guidance and I am sure everything is going to be fine :)

1 mom found this helpful

its weird i had my son at 41 and didn't think twice about dying..but i had a C sec..i was just so excited..in this day and age it would be hard to die giving birth..you need to concentrate on having a stronger attitude..like you're going to go in there and be a warrior about it :) to tell u the truth i was in labor and i didn't feel the contractions..it was so odd..i think i was just so excited..i asked the nurse.."am i even having contractions?" and she said.."are u kidding look at the monitor" and it was zig zagging all over the place..and they cut me open and put my uterus on my chest..so um..yeah..but i'm not 45..my son is almost 4...birthing is a short experience...you'll be fine..go in there like u mean business not afraid..go in there and have your baby you've been waiting your whole life to meet and don't fret about dying...if you're really afraid..go for a C sec..took them 15 minutes to get my son out..then 30 minutes to sew me back up..he was 10.2 lbs that's why my doc wanted to do a C sec besides the fact that she is a lazy Bev Hills doc...i don't go to her anymore..you'll be fine..i have low blood pressure..am older..i survived..easily..low blood pressure can be very dangerous but it didn't even make a dent..good luck!! get happy and change your mind set it will help you!

1 mom found this helpful

I had an unnatural fear of childbirth since I was 10 (maybe earlier). I must have overheard someone talking about the horrible pain, or something that just totally scared me. From that time, to the time I was about 20, I didn't want to go through with it because I was so scared. When I finally decided I was ready to have a baby, and then I got pregnant, I was still a little scared, but not like that. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I read about the labor and birth process, and how normal it is. I did a complete 180, and no longer had any fear because I knew what was going to happen, and I believed that my body could do it. I went on to have an awesome home birth (yes, at home and completely natural, for the woman who never wanted to go through the pain), and was not scared the entire time.

I think you should learn more about the process, maybe watch some videos that aren't negative (like the Business of Being Born, or a movie I haven't seen but have heard is really good, Orgasmic Birth). Almost everything about labor in our society is negative, and that's ridiculous. It doesn't have to be a scary experience, but most people say it is, and that just messes it up for everyone else. If you believe in yourself, and work on your fear, I think you will feel better. You also might want to try something like hypnobirthing, that should ease your fear of the labor, and should help during as well. I didn't do this, but I have a friend who had a baby recently and she loved it.

1 mom found this helpful

I also had anxiety my first PG that I would die during childbirth. I think is was hormone related. I talked to my MD about it and he put it very lightly..."well, if you were you to die it would ruin my day and yours". It sounds kind of callous the way that he said it, but it made me realize that it was something that I had no control of and I was wasting my time thinking about it. I guess I started to reason with myself that if I died during childbirth, I wouldn't know so I needed to stop focusing my energy on worrying. I also had anxiety about other family members passing away during my entire PG. So that is why I think it was hormone related. As soon as I had my baby my anxiety about death went away. Good luck...and you will be fine ( I have had 2 healthy boys).

1 mom found this helpful

Hi E.,
I started to experience these fears about a month before our son was born. I think part of it is hormonal and part of it is sleep deprivation. What you are experiencing is normal, just try not to allow yourself to focus on it. Just remind yourself that you will be in a hospital where you are well monitored and where this is VERY unlikely to happen.
Also, my anxiety over dying did not end after the baby was born. It ended up getting worse (this is a symptom of postpartum depression). If I can make any suggestions to prevent this from happening to you, I would suggest: Having someone come and stay with you for a month to help you out, try to get as many naps as possible, get out and get fresh air and sunshine daily for at least 30 minutes, and take supplements that contain fish oil. I discovered this product called Postpartum Omega Mom. It has nutrients that are helpful for breast feeding, are great for baby brain development, and help your mood.

1 mom found this helpful

Sadly this is completely normal. Your hormones are going crazy right now, which leads even the most stable women to rather extreme mood swings. You may even have some crazy nightmares as you get closer to your due date.

If you have been taking anti-anxiety meds, I would ask your OB if it is OK to continue. Regardless, I would start seeing a therapist or joining an expecting moms support group. You are not alone, although it may feel that way right now. Having a good support system in place will not only help you with your current feelings, but they will provide a safety net for you and your baby postpartum. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and family, and don't isolate yourself!

Remind yourself that millions of babies are born every day without problems, that your fears are a result of normal hormone fluctuations, and reaffirm your trust in your doc and family. Finally, if things get really bad, remind yourself that worrying does nothing to prevent bad things from happening and that even if something were to happen, all you have is today and you should try to enjoy every moment you might have.

Hope that helps!!
Just remember you are not alone.

1 mom found this helpful

absolutely normal. I had dreams about the baby that scared me. Most people have anxiety of some sort in regard to the event to come. However, if this is on your mind a lot why not ask your doctor about a safe anti-anxiety. My guess is that would help with the blood pressure too.

1 mom found this helpful

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