Is Being a Teacher Always So Hard?

My husband is a high school teacher. the best appreciation he gets is not from gifts or thank you cards from parents(which he harldy gets anyways) , its when his students come back after they graduated from high school and tell him they are in enrolled in college with goals in life and they are the ones who appreciate his teachings and thank him for pushing their limits because it is paying off in college.
hope this helps.

Any teacher of my kids probably deserves a 250% raise.
Seriously, I give when I can and don't feel guilty when I can't. There's only so much I can do, what with being a single mom to 4 kids.

I get what you're saying, but we have no idea how much personal time goes into teaching. My father-in-law is a teacher and he spends his entire evenings grading papers, emailing parents, responding to emails, or creating/finding material for lessons, or updating lesson plans. He doesn't get time to do that at school, teachers have to do those things on their own time. They don't get paid for that.

Also, any educator of my child deserves recognition just for that- as long as they are doing a good job of it.

I am a teacher and yes, I am offended.

At my school (community college) honor students invite faculty to honor at a banquet that they completely organize and pay for. It is a wonderful experience because the teachers are invited by students who then explain why that particular teacher was important to them. I love the chance to meet with my colleagues to be reminded of the value in what we do. It really does re-energize us and is a great way to improve the overall environment for everyone. Yesterday our education students (future teachers) brought treats in and sent out an email that beautifully expressed their appreciation for us and their commitment to the teaching profession. Considering my school is facing something like 6 million in cuts after already having taking 5 million in cuts, that email was hugely important to me.

So why am I offended by your post? You are upper middle class and think that only low income schools have behavioral problems and parents that are not engaged.... "in a lower income school district where perhaps parents aren't engaged, kids misbehave, they don't speak English." Do you really believe that there are not behavioral issues or family issues or apathetic parents in wealthy neighborhoods? Wow. ADHD, learning disabilities, social problems, emotional problems, bullying....all of these things exists in every level of society and therefore in every school. And teachers need to deal with these issues all the time and it is exhausting. To teach well requires an amazing amount of energy, intelligence, compassion and passion. To teach well for a lifetime takes dedication and a true commitment to the idea of service, service to each student, each family and to the entire community. People who choose to teach believe that their actions can make the world a better place, which I know seems ridiculously naive, but if you talk to most teachers who stick with it, that is the reason. We are optimists. We love our students. We believe that access to education can make all the difference in the world to a child.

Oh...and all the teachers I know have to work during the summer, either updating their credentials or simply to make enough money to survive. I have not had a summer "off" in ten years and neither has my husband. Oh, and we work most weekends too.

Last thing, because of the current anti-teacher rhetoric and the lack of pay and the increasingly impossible working conditions, I have been strongly encouraging my son (who would be a brilliant teacher) to absolutely NOT be a teacher. My point here is, we NEED teachers, good PROFESSIONAL teachers and if we do not recognize and appreciate the value they have in our society, we should not be surprised when we cannot get the best and brightest to become teachers and then commit to the profession for a lifetime. That is already starting to happen.

You seem to think that only teachers who have it "bad" need to have any kind of appreciation day. These people are spending a huge amount of time with your children. How can you not appreciate this....especially if you are lucky enough to live in a neighborhood that allows your children to have access to a great environment?

If you don't like your daughter's teacher, then deal with it by talking with her and the principal.

BTW, my kids are at a great school and we have a very elaborate teacher appreciation day twice a year during the conference periods so that they can get lunch easily. I also have my kids write very personal thank you notes at the end of the year to make sure that they understand the importance of recognizing the work their teachers have done for them.

Updated: P.. I am glad you responded and I am glad you asked this question because I have learned something and you are helping me understand how to make a decision about whether to stay in teaching. You are absolutely right that you have worked for what you have and that it is is not "luck." You do absolutely deserve what you have worked for.

Here is the problem for teachers, especially teachers who are not married to high-wage earners. No matter how hard I work (or how hard my husband works) we will never, ever be able to live in a neighborhood with decent schools. Why? Because we are teachers. The irony here is amazing. In order to dedicate my life to teaching the (adult) children of other people, I am not able to provide for my own children in the way that every good mother wants to. (Because of where I teach I can't "get my kid in" to the great schools which is a perk some teachers do get.)

So how do I get to live in a neighborhood with good schools (and without the gang violence and crime of my working class neighborhood )? There is only one way. We stop teaching, which is something we are both considering right now. Until recently we have sent our children to a small, but affordable Catholic school. But we are facing a 10% salary cut and it is very likely that I am going to have to choose between my children's education and my profession.

I was a teacher before becoming a SAHM. My mom is a teacher and my MIL is a school counselor. I have so much appreciation for teachers! My son goes to a private school and I still give lots of gifts and donate my time. I do a craft once a month with the class, go on every field trip, and buy things off the "need tree". This month I'm bringing his teacher lunch every Friday. My oldest is in kindergarten and I am SO thankful for the amazing foundation his preschool teacher and kindergarten teacher have built.

Have you ever had a colleague puke on the floor of your office and you had to clean it up? Have you ever had a colleague have diarrhea so bad that you had to help clean him up and get him to the nurse? How about consoling a kindergartner because today is her 6th birthday and her dad is in Iraq and can't celebrate with her? (We are a military family and there are three children in my son's class with a deployed dad--us included).

Teachers spend about 30-35 hours a week with kids--more than some parents spend with their own children.

Teacher appreciation will never be overdone! I hope your child is blessed with a teacher worth appreciating some day!

Your response said, "Why does anyone teach if it's so hard and underpaid then?"
Teaching is the lowest paying profession that requires a 4 year degree. It is a profession where they do not get a lot of time off and are many times staying late or coming in on the weekend. Many times teachers get stuck buying their own supplies out of their pocket. We want so much out of our teachers, but it is a difficult field to be in. I won't even get started about the intense pressure by the government that teachers face.
People become teachers because they care. Average teacher burn out is 5 years. People become teachers because they want to impact a child's life and be a positive influence. Teachers are people who have to look at their profession as more than merely a job. I think we show appreciation for our teachers because we parents want our teachers to see our students as a whole, not just an empty brain to cram full of information. True teachers have a passion for the most important aspect of teaching.. the students.

As a future teacher and a mother I thank all you current teachers out there for becoming a teacher and becoming a memorable influence in your students' lives! Thanks!

i believe that being a teacher is very hard no matter what kind of district they teach in. just because someone teaches in a "well-to-do" district does not mean that their job is easier. you have a different breed of parent now days that make having that job not very rewarding. parents come up to the school and tell you "not my child, couldn't be", won't help the child at home with their work at home, heck some parents aren't feeding their children, keeping them clean,etc but the teachers see this and have to deal with it and possibly help the situation, i was at the at the laundromat about a year ago and there was a teacher there with her class, and she was demonstrating how to separate,wash and dry loads of cloths. so when she got a chance to take a break i asked her what was the purpose of the field trip, she said because some of her students were wearing dirty clothes to school because no one was doing it at home and were never shown how to wash clothes! why should a teacher have to go through all that? so yes being a teacher can be hard!

I do hear what you're saying. I, too, work at a job where I am not appreciated at all, and I'm expected to work 24/7.

However, just because my employer is not appreciative doesn't mean that I have to be similarly unappreciative when others do a great job. I tip wait staff at restaurants to show my appreciation. Why not tip the person who has to teach 30 8-year olds how to do long division?

As a side note, I spent my first year out of college as a "student teacher" (which was laughable because there was no master teacher in the classroom... just me with a whole class of 4th graders). I am here to tell you that I ran for the hills after that year. All the vacation time in the world couldn't make that job worth it to me. Those "supportive" parents? Yeah, they were there every day complaining about one thing or another - why didn't little Betsy get an A on her test? (She got a B because she missed 3 questions, because she was too busy goofing off to take her test.) Why doesn't Johnny have more friends, and can't I make the other kids play with him? (They wouldn't be friends if I made the other kids play with him, would they?) I'm telling you, it's the job from hell, and if you don't think it's hard, you should be a substitute teacher for a day, just to see what it's really like to have to keep control of a classroom of kids. Good teachers make it look easy. You should appreciate them. (And for the record, I supervise construction crews and manage entire jobsites, heavy equipment, million dollar budgets and all, and after all this, teaching IS harder than what I do. No question.)

Would you like some appreciation for the work you do? Wouldn't it be nice if your boss had a week and everyday you were giving a small token of appreciation? When was the last time you said thank you to your childs teacher. Most parents don't ever say thank you. We are a glorified babysitting service. Teacher appreciation week isn't organized by teachers! Parents do it. Teachers work very hard for the most part with no promise of a monetary bonus. The "bonus" is watching kids grow and succeed and the knowledge that you made a difference in the lives of the children you've taught. Of course and unfortunately there are slackers just like there are in every profession but I am sure your child has learned quite a bit this year. I am sorry you have no intrinsic rewards from your job or appreciation week from your boss but please don't hold that against the teachers, the ones whose pay is so low in some areas they are just above
the poverty level. Show some appreciation or don't. It is up to you.
I am a SAHM and look forward to the day I step back into the classroom.

Honestly I think all teachers deserve our greatest appreciation, they are responsible for an entire generation, we give them our children everyday to help them grow and learn that is a HUGE responsibility. It is not easy Imagine taking on 8 hours of 13 year old kids and doing it every day.
Teaching is the most honorable profession and they should be treated better than they are by our government and our society.

I didn't get too far in your responses-only enough to want to jump in to defend PTA. Question-does your PTA step in to organize your teacher's holiday gift? (probably not) end of year gift? (probably not) donate to the classroom (never heard of this but probably not)So what does that leave us in respect to the teachers....appreciation week. Would you rather nothing be done for the teachers????????? And do you really think the PTA ENJOYS asking for money?? Let me tell you it is about the worst thing ever. Seriously. The thing is we go into the year with a budget of what needs to be done-this includes much enrichment, assemblies, field trips, recess/electronic equipment, etc. And then you have to decide how you are going to raise that money. And if your fundraisers do not go well then you have to have more-enough to make your budget. And yes, we COULD just go away. And there would be nothing but school. Is that what we really want? I am sick to death of people ripping on PTA....and if we seem 'cliquey' its because we have damn sure got to know pretty well the ten or so people who help out for everything.

And as for the teachers...they would have us think that their jobs are much more difficult than they really are. This is district specific of course-the inner city ones are a whole different ballgame. In our district they START at 65K a year. Seasoned teachers are all making much more.. With full pension on retirement. A friend of mine who just retired from teaching is getting a $100,000 per year pension!! I would go back to school and teach in a heartbeat but it is ridiculously hard to get a teaching job around me because of the high pay. And their benefits are all protected by their unions. Make no mistake-it is a GOOD job. And our teachers do not one thing to go above and beyond what their union says they must. So when it hits 4pm you better watch yourself or you will be run over by the stampede for the door! And forget about them coming to a family night or any other activity out of the school day. But even with all this-they do deserve our appreciation. Most do a great job and there IS a lot to deal with-I have seen first hand how different these kids are than when we were young. There is not the respect for adults or authority that we had. They are simply unafraid-because there are no consequences and if there are their mommys and daddys will take their sides anyhow.

As a high school teacher, all I want for teacher appreciation is for all of my students to turn in their work! We don't get anything from students for teacher appreciation week at this level. Our PTA does snacks, but I don't want or need "things" from my students. The absolute best thing to get from a student is a handwritten note. I have notes from students that I had more than 10 years ago. That's how you show a teacher you appreciate them. My daughter is in kindergarten this year. We were "supposed" to send something every day of the week (based on a theme for the day). The only 2 days I had her take something were the days that didn't require buying anything - a cut flower from our rose bush and a note. The only thing that I like about them doing "gifts" in elementary school is that it does teach the young ones about showing appreciation for the special people in their lives. I just think it's gotten too commercialized now. (And yes, I'm on this site during school time :) but I'm so organized and ahead of schedule on my lesson plans, etc. that I have some free time. Plus I'm addicted to this site!)

I was drawn to your post because of the subject line. It made me think you were a teacher and a mom, looking for support in balancing two extremely demanding and time-consuming jobs. I was going to give you some advice on it, based on what I have learned from juggling both over the years. Now that I have read your question, and some of the answers, as a teacher myself, I am a bit offended. I think you need some educating on what the job is REALLY like, and you are thankfully getting some here by some of the responses. I don't know what we have done to deserve so much bashing - maybe it's the issue that went on in Wisconsin in March/April, maybe it's the right wing agenda, not sure, but I am proud to be a teacher and I feel that so many wish to take that pride and twist it into something ugly and self-serving, which it's not.

I have been a grade 5 or 6 teacher since I started teaching at age 22/23. I am not going on 37. It's the only thing I've done, through two high-risk pregnancies, through sinus infections, colds, strep, extreme stress, one IVF cycle, exhaustion, legs throbbing from standing all day, you name it, I have pulled myself through for my students. And yes, for them, NOT to preserve my sick time or retirement benefits. It galls me that people think we do this job for the vacations and "time off". We do it because we WANT to make a difference and inspire young minds to think creatively, problem solve, and just be happy and content individuals in life. I am not going to defend myself and tell you how short the summer really ends up being when you add in teacher development, classes we take, and preparing for a new class for half the month of August. I am sick of people thinking (ignorantly) that we complain just to hear ourselves talk. As of right now, I have two stacks of papers to correct today in my "free", family time, or when I can't keep my eyes open tonight, and three other stacks on my desk at school.

In between preparing my kids for the state standardized tests, giving them an enriching curriculum even though we are nearing the end of the year, answering the constant parent emails about placement next year, gathering homework for the kids who continue to take vacations during school time, planning a retirement party for a colleague, working with my principal to design a new parent conference schedule for next year, finishing the technology project I started months ago, trying to eat lunch, etc., I will somehow have the energy to also live my daily life and take care of my own kids, because that's just what we do as teachers. We just DO.

There is an old saying, "Those who can, teach." I'd add to that, "And those who can't, make laws that affect teachers even though they have no idea what we do." About sums it up! Despite all of this, honestly, I continue to be proud of what I do, and not even a parent who questions my dedication to my profession can take that away from me.

I think teachers do deserve it. Maybe your school is going a little overboard and it should not be mandatory, but being a teacher is quite difficult, especially nowadays. With high testing being the primary goal, being called a racist, having to deal with parents that think you should do more... I could go into massive detail on some ridiculous stories, but I won't because that will just open up another can of worms =) Teachers should be appreciated, though. They don't get paid a whole lot and they have an extremely important job.

If you think the teacher is not worth the gifts, don't do it. It is pretty simple, you are not obligated to give gifts. Some teachers would get nicer gifts from my children because they were wonderful teachers. If room moms asked for a certain amount I would give what I felt was right. I always felt it was wrong to tell parents how much to give. As for volunteering. is this required by your school or do they only ask you to do it if you want to. I never did because I ran a family daycare and could not close the daycare to do so. I really wish I could have though. I would not have felt it was an inconvience. I know where I live teachers are not under paid anymore, they are not over paid either though. Some areas though the teachers are still under paid and the gifts do help them buy supplies etc..
You come at "free choice" before commenting you should spend a week in the teachers shoes. What is the old saying " the grass is always greener on the other side."
Gifts are not required but I never minded giving a little something to the people that took such great care of my children!

To be honest I go back and forth on this. On the one hand and where I am most of the time is I DO think this is one of the most important jobs in our society and they should be compensated more than most of us. They should also be held to a higher standard. Our community is as you describe but many of the kids are NOT easy. They think they can get away with anything so a LOT of time is spent with classroom management. Volunteering for an hour in class is as tiring to me as a 12 hour work day! On the other our teachers do get a LOT of help. The Mall had a sit in where teachers graded homework. I thought it was silly because the homework isn't graded by the teachers in our school! One volunteer checks it off! Ours feels obligated to check the answers but she's not required too!!!! What a JOKE homewrok is, let alone to use it for the focus of a protest! So I can see both sides of the coin and as I said I'm mainly on the one side.

When I taught, I totally appreciated gifts. I felt bad when one or two felt left out because their parents didn't get me something. My M. NEVER gave a gift because it was their job to teach me. I felt weird when a few kids did and the teacher's praised it so one year I made my M. buy perfume at the grocery store. She acted like it was the best present ever and I felt great.

For the first time, I did not help with Teacher Appreciation WEEK(not day) and I did not take gifts in for my child to pass out. On Friday, when most kids gave a gift, my child was embarrassed and upset. I resisted the urge to tell her "Because I don't appreciate their lazy, unprofessional ways and we are going to spend thousands to move to a better district." They do as little as possible and just enough to get by. They are not like I was at all. I should have just gone with her and gotten them a basket of school supplies or something and let her participate.

I do know that $50 was too much for a restaurant or Visa gift card and it creeped one teacher out. Next time, I will stick with $25.

One response said, "Teaching is the lowest paying profession that requires a 4 year degree." Apparently, you've never checked out a journalist's salary. After 20 years in journalism and several promotions, I made what a starting teacher does in my district. Not to say teachers don't deserve the pay, just noting that journalists are grossly underpaid.

It seems like there's almost become no middle ground when it comes to teachers. Some people seem to think the unions are horrible and have messed up the schools etc and therefore teachers are all looking for a free ride or something. Then some people, perhaps like your PTA, are treating them like they're martyrs and/or someone is holding a gun to their head making them pick teaching as their profession. I'm sure some teachers are practically martyrs - like you say in inner city schools etc. The teacher from the movie Dangerous Minds was absolutely amazing. I wrote an essay about her for graduate school. Then of course there are teachers who do a good job and others who are slacking. Perhaps the problem with all these almost mandatory things your school does is the PTA etc isn't distinguishing. I know i worry if i don't do all these things at our school, the teacher will take it out on my child so I'm almost bullied by the PTA into doing it... It seems like there should be a middle ground with how we view teachers and how much appreciation they're shown given many mothers and fathers are workign super hard too and getting little for it. And likely it's the parents who care who have well behaved kids and aren't making the teachers work extra hard who are then the ones who show all the appreciation. It should be the parents who have kids that the teachers go above and beyond for but likely the teachers have to go above and beyond for these kids bc the parents aren't involved... It's a bit twisted.

It was is way over done in the elementary school my son went to, and they teachers were well worth, even the mean ones. I feel very fortunate that I was able to raise my son in a community that so highly valued there teachers. I loved volunteering up there, but could never ever deal with all those kids on a basis that those teachers do, and don't get me started on some of those parents. It think the down side for the staff was many parent volunteers expected special treatment for doing so much. I never did.

You do not have to do all. I gave much more time than monetary gifts, but have when I felt the need. It was not always with my own sons teacher, it was sometimes just where it was needed most, a new teacher starting out, staff that was often forgoten, like the lunch ladies and janitor.

You probably just have a crazy over the top PTA, and I thank heavens that ours were. Do what you can and feel comfortable doing. I never ever saw anyone keeping score, minus a few crazy moms.

We had Teacher Appreciation Week just this past week. There were a few trinkets left in our mailboxes, which is nice. However, the absolute best thing to me was my students saying, "Happy Appreciation Week!!" or "I really do appreciate you." or, since I was out for two days @ the start of the week, "I'm sooo glad you're back!!"

It isn't about the gifts, that will most likely collect dust on a shelf, it is about those words that make the week special for teachers. I felt like a million bucks when my eighth graders said those things to me.

Maybe for the end of the year, you could just write a simple note, or have your daughter write one and leave it at that. I'll bet that will mean much more than gifts.

Updated

We had Teacher Appreciation Week just this past week. There were a few trinkets left in our mailboxes, which is nice. However, the absolute best thing to me was my students saying, "Happy Appreciation Week!!" or "I really do appreciate you." or, since I was out for two days @ the start of the week, "I'm sooo glad you're back!!"

It isn't about the gifts, that will most likely collect dust on a shelf, it is about those words that make the week special for teachers. I felt like a million bucks when my eighth graders said those things to me.

Maybe for the end of the year, you could just write a simple note, or have your daughter write one and leave it at that. I'll bet that will mean much more than gifts.

I know what you mean. I remember my first year out of college making half of what my teacher friends did and I had no benefits. It made me wonder, why isn't there an outcry for the under payed interior designers in the world? I worked way more hours than she did. And here I had always thought they were so underpaid. No, for the hours worked, they do quite well. What they have are big old unions and you know what they say about squeaky wheels- they get the grease. Nothing against teachers, I loved my teachers growing up and loved getting them gifts of appreciation. But after working longer hours, having massive deadlines, demanding clients, driving crappy cars, all with very few acalades , and making significantly less than my teacher friends, I realized, some things in life are not fair. Teachers have very visible jobs. There are a lot of them. They have powerful unions pulling for them. There jobs are not luxuries, but necessities. I think what you are saying, is there are equally deserving hard working underpaid people out there. Why do teachers get all the love?

When my son was in Elementary school I contributed to the paper towel, tissue supply in the classroom as the school district did not buy those things. I bought small gift cards for all his teachers at the end of the year, etc. He had, for the most part, exceptional Elementary School teachers - I knew them all and had a rapport with them all.

Middle school - we moved to a different school district. I contributed to the paper towel, tissue supply for the classroom. I did not give end of the school year gift cards for all - in fact, only for his band teacher each year. He had, honestly, not so great teachers - What I mean by not so great - while they taught the curriculum, they showed absolutely no interest in their students as individuals. They offered no feedback, even when asked and even when dragged into conferences by the administration.

This year we started High School - and again I find the only teacher I know is the Band Director - and his students do give him gifts. One open house at the beginning of the year allowed me to meet the first semester's teachers. I had to beg for a conference meeting to meet the 2nd semester teachers, and two agreed to come. So, no, I will not be giving presents to any teachers this year.

Oh, I get that teaching is a difficult - my cousin teaches 7/8 grade English - and I admire her for it - she is also a fantastic teacher. But, I don't feel obligated to give gifts to teachers for doing their jobs. My cousin says she appreciates gifts from her students - but doesn't expect them either.

God Bless

I also often feel like the teacher appreciation stuff can get a bit overboard, and wonder if maybe some of the other staff in the school need more appreciating. I think too that there are some wonderful benefits being a teacher...including the ones you mentioned like vacation, and of course the satisfaction of impacting children's lives......but I'll tell you what....after volunteering in our middle to upper middle class schools in my son's class....he's in third grade now, and settling in.....but earlier on....there's no amount of money that would have made me enjoy being trapped in a classroom with 20+ 5 or 6 year olds....it would have driven me utterly bananas! SO...the gift that teachers have that enable them to be patient AND effective is really a valuable one....and if I have to do a LITTLE extra I'm fine with it, and eager to show my appreciation (though you make a good case for how much is enough...). Not offended. Not a teacher though...just a parent who's glad to not be a teacher! :)

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