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Is Autism Is the Result of Bad Parenting

my 4 year old son's preschool teacher thinks he has autism. i also have a 3yr old ans she is fine. a little about him is that he doesn't interact with other kids. he doesn't talk like a typical 4yr old. part of me feels that it is me fault. is this true?

What can I do next?

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is autism the result of bad parenting? no no no no no.
I too have other children. I have 3 boys. They are 5, 7 and 14. Only my 7 year old has autism. Autism is geneticly linked, but the actual cause is unknown. It is known though that it is NOT the result of how someone parents at all. It's about the child. Just like diabetes, or any other disease is.

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It is not your fault at all. Dont even get the idea stuck in your head. You sound like a great parent seeing how you are asking and are concerned about your childs progess. I am an educational consultant with Discovery Toys and they have actually taken a special interest in children with autism. On my website there is information about autism for you to read to help you out. We also offer a special introductory pack of edcuational toys for autistic children that you might want to look in to. They have had great results with them. Discovery Toys are also great for children of all types and ages, they are educational and have a lifetime guarantee. Let me know if you have any questions about the products and if you would like to look in to getting your son the autism kit. My website is: www.discoverytoyslink.com/growsmart.

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NO, not your fault. There is lots of help out there for him. Kids with autism can dramatically improve and some can lose the diagnosis entirely. It takes a lot of therapy and money. First you need a diagnosis. Take him to a developmental pediatrician of a neuropsychologist for testing. Your local school district should also do the testing and it's free. He can also receive services thru the school district like speech and occupational therapy while at school. Some schools have applied behavior analysis which is vital for these kids. Go to a website called TACAnow.com. Their website is great and has tons of info on autism. It stands for Talk About Curing Autism Now. It talks about the special diets that they should be on and the doctors that take care of these children called DAN! doctors (Defeat Autism Now!). My 4 y/o daughter has High Functioning Autism and she has made tremendous progress. There is hope and don't let anyone tell you differently. Intense early intervention is the key. So, get started today. Boys are 4 times more likely to have autism than girls. You should have your 3 y/o tested as well as there seems to be a genetic component. She may not develop autism but may have delays in speech or sensory issues etc. There are often waiting lists for services so get started right away. I know it's devastating but there is so much you can do to help him. You have to be his advocate and his Mom. Remember, intense early intervention is vital to his success so really, get started today. Good luck.

B.

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I work as a substitute teacher and let me tell you, bad parenting leads to many things, but not autism. And besides, who says you are a bad parent? A preschool teacher is not an expert, by any means. My son was 'diagnosed' by his preschool teacher on his first day, ever, of school. She did not take into consideration that he was in a room full of strangers and just didn't know the routine. He was afraid and intimidated, not autistic. We were lucky enough to have our pediatrician set us straight early on. My son is now in first grade and has been recommended by his teacher for a highly gifted program. He is socializing well with his peers. He does talk differently from his peers but he just gave a presentation on dinosaurs in front of a room full of parents; he didn't sound strange at all.

Look, if you son is autistic, truly autistic, you need to get him (and you) some help. But is he autistic, or just socially at a different place than the other kids? A kid who doesn't ask a friend to play ball is not the same as a kid who cannot verbalize his emotions. You know, there are so many autistic kids who cannot get the help they need because the system is overrun with 'spectrum disorders', and shy kids who get shoved in the autism box. I have worked with autistic kids, from non-verbal to high-functioning in the public school system. It makes me angry to see kids who are behind socially using up resources that kids who don't talk, kids who cannot even say "I love you" or "I'm tired" or "I want a cookie" should be getting. There is a huge special ed teacher shortage!

I think you should talk to your pediatrician right away. Start there. Your son may just need some speech therapy and a little help socializing. Our doctor told us to put our son in smaller social groups so that he wouldn't feel overwhelmed. We also spend a lot of time talking to him about his feelings, and positive ways to react to situations, like bullies and disappointments. He's really come a long way. Good luck, and whatever the diagnoses may be, remember that your son is as perfect as any child can be.

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NO!!!!!!!! since you work at a woman's & childrens medical center I'm sure there are many people to help you...It may be hard to ask for help and advice face to face but just do it you will feel so much better....Your guilt is a result of the fact that you may not be able to do anything to change it.Please don't blame yourself though it will not in any way help your child.Good Luck and God Bless

1 mom found this helpful

is autism the result of bad parenting? no no no no no.
I too have other children. I have 3 boys. They are 5, 7 and 14. Only my 7 year old has autism. Autism is geneticly linked, but the actual cause is unknown. It is known though that it is NOT the result of how someone parents at all. It's about the child. Just like diabetes, or any other disease is.

1 mom found this helpful

Dear T.,

Absolutely, positively no!!!!, autism is not caused by bad parenting. It isn't caused by any kind of parenting. It just IS. Your son's preschool teacher may be right, you need to track this clue down to the nitty gritty of what is truly happening with your son. Autism is caused by something wrong in the genes. I do not understand it yet, but they just recently found the causes of autism are in the person's genetic make up. You are lucky to be working where you are - they can find out what you need to do to help him learn to live a more comfortable life. Go for it. You are a goooood Mom. Sincerely, C. N.

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T.,

No one knows for sure what causes autism but it appears to be a combination of genetics and environment. There is one theory that it is from environmental contamination, another that says it is vaccines and another that says it is food intolerances.... Basically no one knows for sure. The best analogy I've heard is that genetics "loads the gun" and some environmental factor "pulls the trigger." But autism is a medical, neurological condition and has absolutely NOTHING to do with your skills as a parent. My son was diagnosed with autism about a year ago. He'll be 4 in September. There are tons of services available and lots of things you can do to help your son. Contact your local school district. They should have a program and more information to help you. My son is in a special needs preschool program through our local school district, in a autism classroom. He goes 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, 220 days a year. He gets speech therapy, occupation therapy, therapy for social skills, gross & fine motor skills, self help skills and all sorts of stuff. And it is a free service. Finding out your child is autistic is devastating. Living with autism is challenging but lots of us are doing it and it isn't a death sentence.

Would you think you were a bad parent if your son was diabetic? Had cancer? No. Why would you think that bad parenting could cause autism?

{{hugs}}
T.

1 mom found this helpful

NO...my heart about broke when I read your post. I am going to assume that you are in Hawaii (due to the name of the medical center you work for). I have a very dear friend, who now lives here in the SF Bay Area, who has worked the system very well in Hawaii to get the services she needed for her son. I am sure Anne would be very glad to talk with you to make sure you get on the right track.

M.

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