Is 4 Year-old Capable of Holding Bladder All Night?

I don't have advice based on experience, and am interested in hearing other responses. However, my neighbor, who has 3 children, has told me that it is more common than people realize for children to be in pull-ups through kindergarten. Bladders mature at different rates so it's not just a matter of "training" the child to hold it through the night -- sometimes, you just have to wait for the physiology to catch up.

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When we started potty training our daughter, we did it all the way. No wearing pull ups at night. We made the decision to limit her fluids before bedtime and then get her up to go potty once during the night.

This took a few nights, but now she gets up on her own and goes to the bathroom (at 3 1/2). She has been doing this for about 7 months now without an accident.

I don't think a child can "hold" it all night. They just need you to show them how to get up and take care of it (just like during the day).

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I defnitely wouldn't worry about it.
One of my brothers was almost 12 before my dad could finally stop waking him in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.
My youngest brother turned 6 in January and up until a couple months ago, he wore a pull-up to bed EVERY night.
Just make sure he doesn't have too much to drink too late.
He's only 4 so I would just give it some time before you start to worry. :)

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My granddaughter wore pull ups at night for several months after being dry during the day. It was not a concern for any of us. I believe the less we try to make our children do something that they're incapable of doing the better. At 4 your son is definitely within range for having an immature urinary tract. So just relax and go with the flow, so to speak. :):) Putting pressure on him to stay dry may very well back fire. Anxiety makes it more difficult to stay dry.

One of my granddaughter's friends is 7 or 8 and she still uses pull ups at night. Her mother is an MD and doesn't appear to be concerned.

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C.,

In general, the answer to your question is yes. However, my six year old grandson has the same problem. He wears pull ups and they are frequently wet in the morning. He has cousins who have had the same difficulty. In all cases, without hassles about staying dry, by eight years old they have figured it out and are now pull-up free. I honestly believe that the less you focus on the problem, the better.

I wish you well.

D.

About me: I am a mother, grandmother, retired teacher, and writer of parenting columns.

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Hi C.
I'm a mother of 4 adult children and grandmother of 7. My oldest child (now 35) was a bed-wetter until about 12 yrs old, even when we woke him SEVERAL times a night. Turns out he had a very weak bladder and was a very heavy sleeper. Wish we had pull-ups back then!

However my 2 year old grandson (he will be 3 in September) has completely trained himself. We worked at the day time training and when that was successful we went on to the night time. He wore pull-ups until 2 weeks ago when he just said "No" and has not wet since.

Each child is different. He will stop wetting when he his ready. If you're really concerned that it may be something other than just the way he is take him to your doctor and have some tests run.

Good luck and don't worry!

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I think most can hold their bladder all night by that age. But certainly not all children. You have probably already tried cutting of fluids a couple hours before bed time... I would suggest that if you are concerned to check with your pediatrician. If the pediatrician thinks there's a reason for concern they can send you to a pediatric urologist, just to get a more thorough check of all the parts.

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Hi C.,

Some children just sleep very heavily and will literally have NO idea that they have to go or that they are going in their sleep. Other children just don't have a mature bladder yet. These are not signs of illness nor are they anything to be overly concerned about - although it can be embarrasing for the older child.

I would probably check with my pediatrician, just to find out what he/she would suggest.

There are various devices, such as alarms, training pants that get cold when peed on and so on for nighttime bed-wetters. I've met many adults who remember using these as children and having good success with them.

Other than that, you should know that your son is normal - he's got a lot of company out there!

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Kids his age are certainly capable of holding it all night as long as they don't have any other underlying issues. What I've read/heard is to not give drinks for the two hours before bed and be sure to have him use the potty one last time before bed. John Rosemond (my fave parenting author) says that giving them a pullup is giving them permission to use it. So going that route, you'd use disposable pads under the sheet and/or a water proof mattress cover, then tell him that he's a big boy now and needs to get up to use the potty (while still trying to empty the bladder before bed...) If there's a mess in the morning, he's to strip the sheets and put new ones on, and put all the soiled laundry in the hamper or washer. Assuming there's nothing more going on, he'll get the hang of it. It might take a little bladder training, like having him hold it a minute before going during the day, then increasing that. The bladder is a muscle that can be developed.

My nearly 6 year old recently started wetting the bed out of the blue (after being perfectly night trained for 2.5 years). I asked the naturopath about it and she said to give him some straight protein before bed, with no carbs (like chicken or turkey). She said it's common for kids to have hypoglycemic episodes during the night, so their blood sugar is so low that they are too deeply sleeping to wake up when they need to go.

Good luck, and he should do fine with a little work.

Careful with this one since it might not be under his control. My son is now 9 and always dry at night but that didn't happen until he was almost 7. There are urological reasons that some kids can't stay dry through the night. If you push it, it can really effect your son emmotionally since he really might not be able. We worked with a pediatric urologist on this issue since we were seeing him for other things. He suggested eliminating fluids 1-2 hours before bed but that didn't do much for us. What did help was taking our son potty 2-3 hours after he went to bed. Your body produces the most urinie in the first 3 hours your asleep but your son is probably most tired then. Once we did this our son was wet in the morning about once a month. We eliminated the pull-up at that point unless we were in someone else's home. Then around 6 1/2 years, we tried stopping the night time trip to the potty and it worked. Beaware that the urologist said that this could continue until he is a pre-teen.

This problem is more common with boys. We had the opposite with our daughter. She potty-trained just before age 3 both day and night and never had to wear the night-time pull-up. This meant our son was wearing them and she wasn't. We let him understand that we knew that it wasn't under his control.

It depends on the child!
Some children are such hard sleepers that they dont wake up to use the potty!
I would not worry or make a big deal of it, just encourange him to use the potty and reward him for waking up dry.

We never used night time diapers on my now-nearly-five-year-old. There's no incentive for them to learn how to stay dry all night.

We had accidents pretty much every night at first. I did not wake him up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I wanted him to learn to recognize the cues in his own body that would wake him up when he needed to go. I had plastic on his sheets, and light covers - to make the clean up easier. I'd make him a "back-up bed." When he wet the bed, he stripped out of his wet things and climbed into the other bed without waking me up. The next morning I would have him help me strip the bed and put the covers into the washing machine. Then, I'd give him a Lysol wipe to clean off the mattress.

It took some time, but pretty soon he would start waking up AS he was wetting the bed. I'd hear him jump out of bed and run to the bathroom to finish. The quantity of urine started decreasing until he stopped.

Yes he might be. All kid's bladders are different. i think the norm is yes they can. Out of the 3 that I have trained they all could hold their bladder all night by age 2. We trained our daughter at 18 months and that was at night too. My theory is no more diaper at all when you decide to train. I hear of so many parents that train find that their kid is dry all night but leave the pull up use just for precaution. Well kids are SMART! They learn within a few days to a week that hmmm I don't need to get up to go and their little brains know this while they are sleeping. Of course take all this as a generality. I know some friends that every single one of their kids wet the bed until 8 years old. Bladder size does play a part. Mine must have beach ball size bladders but I can't make it that long:) Good luck!

One way to get an idea of his capability to stay dry is check his pull-up early in the morning before he wakes up. I did this with my daughter (easier b/c I had an infant and an early am feeding) and discovered that at 6 am she was still dry. She was peeing as she waking up, or right after she got up. Once I knew she was consistently dry, we started working harder on getting her out of the night time pull-up.

C.,
It depends on the child. They all develop differently. Both of our boys have/had this issue. Our oldest wore pull-ups when he began kindergarten and by the middle of the year he just magically stopped peeing at night. our youngest just turned 5 in March and he still wears a pull-up at night. We always have him empty his bladder before getting into bed yet he still fills the pull-up. I believe in the last 1-1/2 yrs he has had 3 completely dry pull-ups. I believe that his muscles and bladder aren't fully developed yet.
I wouldn't wake your child in the middle of the night. Try the pull-ups overnights they work.

He should be able to hold his bladder, my boys have been doing it since they were 2 1/2. I noticed when I had my youngest in a pull-up at night he would pee in it first thing in the morning. If I got him up before he came up stares on his own, he was dry, on mornings he got himself up he was wet. I explained to him that he should treat his pull-up like underwear, and try not to pee in it, so if he wakes up and has to pee, to go to the potty. That was all it took, the next couple of nights were dry. After that he started sleeping in undies. It has been over a month and we have not had any wet sheets.

Of course all children develop differently. My Nephew is almost 6, and he knows that he should get up, but he just does not wake up and his bladder will not hold. He hates wetting the bed, but just can not seem to help it. If your boy is having this kind of trouble sometimes his Doctor might be able to help. I don't think they consider it a problem until they turn 5 or 6?

Good luck.

Hi C.
We asked our pediatrician about this when our daughter first day potty trained, she said they don't worry about night time training until the age of 6. I have a friend whose son is 6 & she still puts him in pull ups because of random wet nights.
The good news is they just start doing it ... our daughter just recently started waking up dry & it is nice!
Hope this helps!

My son is 9 and still wets the bed. My oldest is 13 and he stopped needing any night time protection as soon he was potty trained at 3 1/2. I have talked to the pediatrician about it and he said one in every 10 boys will wet the bed until they are teenagers- something like that. When he goes to his dads house on the weekends his dad will get him up 2 or 3 times a night and its only works half of the time. Its just one of those things that some kids grow out of sooner than others. My son is the last kids you would expect to wet the bed but he does. We just use pull ups and it saves alot of laundry and hastle. He only does it about half of the time but he still does it. i told him when we go a whole month waking up dry then we will stop needing the pull ups. So, we wait. Part of the problem is because he is soooo busy and active that he sleeps like a rock and just dosent wake up to go. My nephews and my brother were like that but there are things you can get fromn the pediatrician to help if he dosent stop in a ytear or two. Just dont make him feel bad cuz that wont work either. Its just one of those kid issues you deal with and love em anyways:)

Hi C.,
My daughter has gone without a pull up or daiper since she turned 3. She is now nearing the age of 4 and usually does really well during the night but I still lay a towel on her bed as a just in case because we have only one sheet for each of the kids's beds, but that's just what I have to do. She does have her bad streaks, but that's only when her daddy or I get lazy with her drink schedule and let her have something to drink after dinner when we know we need to be strict, or on-come the accidents. Goodluck with it all.

With my daughter we woke her up once a night to go to the bathroom. It taught her to wake herself up when she had to go pee. My son is three and he's been dry thru the night for about eight months. It just depends on the child.

My son was potty trained at 3 during the day but we kept him in pull-ups for a year at night just to be safe. Towards the last few months he woke up dry consistently. We finally just decided to stop buying pull-ups and see what happens. He has not had an accident yet and he has been off them since March.

We only allow him water at night. He drinks milk with dinner but after that we give him water which he seems to drink much more slowly then milk or juice.

I would NOT wake him up at night!

I would wait till he is dry for a couple of weeks straight then test it. You may want to purchace a plastic mattress cover...just in case!
Good luck!

C.,

What helped for my 4 year old was 1) stop fluid intake 2 hours before bed, 2) make sure he goes potty right before he gets into bed, and 3) let him know that if he has to go at any time during the night that he has our permission to do so. Nearly every night I hear him up and going around 4 am (he goes to bed around 8 pm), but he's dry all the time.

Hope this helps,
M.

My oldest started stopped wearing a pullup at night a month after he was potty trained. My 7 year old and 4 year old still need them. Whether or not a child should be able to hold his pee all night long is a very individual thing. I don't plan to worry about my children's nighttime wetting until they are at least 8 years old. Some kids just don't have the bladder capacity or the ability to wake themselves up.

Also, if you try what one mother suggested about letting her child wet the bed and having the back up bed, there is a chance that could work and a chance it won't. My 4 year old's pull up leaks sometimes because he pees so much. His pjs will be wet halfway up his back and he doesn't notice it until the morning when he wakes up.

My son is 8 and still wears a pull up at night. I was concerned earlier but his doctor said not to worry. He will stop when his body is ready. She said that his bladder is not big enough yet and he sleeps so soundly at night that he doesn't wake up to go potty. His uncle had the same problem and stopped around age 9. It may not take your son that long. You can also check with your doctor. There are other things you can do if you want like medication or pull ups with an alarm that goes off when they wet. Good luck!

Hi C.,

I have a 3.5 year old girl and she does hold her bladder all night, and has been wearing undies to bed for the last 2 months with no accidents. She goes potty last thing before bedtime, and then sleeps 10-11 hours. When she gets up in the morning she sometimes waits an hour before going potty...I do not know how little boys differ from little girls in this area, though...

Good luck!

We discovered last summer that our 3 1/2 year old was holding it all night and when he'd wake up in the morning he'd be too lazy to use the toilet and would just go in his pull up. So we just took them away. We would get him up when we went to bed (still do) around 11 and have him go. That took a little practice/training because he was completely out of it and had to learn to go while 1/2 asleep. He did wet in the morning off and on for a few weeks as he was still learning but we rarely have any accidents...MAYBE 1 every 2-3 months. We also try to limit liquids after dinner. Good luck. Will be nice for you to be done w/ pull ups for good!!

You might just try a few nights without a pull-up and see what happens. You may be surprised. Make sure you have a waterproof mattress pad down and be prepared to be washing sheets each morning. Before my daughter turned 3, she was doing so well with day time potty training that we thought we'd see about nighttime. She had been waking up with a very wet pull-up every morning, so I wasn't too sure what to expect. But, she really does well! We went cold turkey for a while, but she started to have accidents at night. So, we started taking her potty and 10:00 and then taking her right back to bed. We did that for about 2 weeks week. Now, we just do it occassionally and she seems to do just fine.
Good luck!

Probably he can hold it for the night but this is a very individual thing. My son stop wearing his pull ups two weeks after he was potty trained. He asked me about it as he was very hot in them. We were abroad and it was 100F+ there. He was 3 years old back then and after that he had few accidents and I told him I would have to put his pull ups for the night if he won't get up to use the potty. We kept the potty next to his bed, so he didn't had to to the trip to the bathroom. Now sometimes he will kind of start it (few drops) and this will wake him up and than he will get up and go to the bathroom. Well, he will still wake me up and ask me to change him. He just doesn't like even a drop in his underwear. Going to the potty is part of our bed time routine and it works for us and most of the nights he won't need to go during the night depends of the water intake close to bed time. We do not limit the water before bed time. You need to watch him how often he uses the potty during the day. If he needs to go every hour than may be he still needs his pull ups in the night and his bladder is not ready, but if he needs to go once every 3-4 hours than may be he is ready. Good luck!

I have a 3-1/2-year-old who has been potty trained, even through the night without a pull-up since just after he turned 2. If your question is simply whether or not it is possible for a young child to maintain bladder control through the night, in my experience the answer is yes :-) One suggestion would be not giving him drinks an hour or so before bedtime.

I hope this helps!

It took my daughter until she was nearly halfway through kindergarten. She slept so soundly that she wouldn't wake up to pee, and her bladder wouldn't make it through the night. Rather than disrupt her sleep, I just kept her in a pull-up. I'd rather deal with pull-ups than a child who has been awakened and then can't go back to sleep. In your position, I'd check with my pediatrician just to make sure the little guy's plumbing is working right, then keep putting him in his pull-ups at night for now.

My 4 1/2 year old has been potty trained since he was 2 1/2 and he still needs a Pull Up at night. My pediatrician said you don't even start thinking or worrying about it until they are 7 or 8 years old. Sometimes it takes a while for their bladders and bodies to be able to get through the night. Don't worry about it. And I wouldn't pressure him at all or he's likely to resist and make it even harder.

If he is peeing in it during the middle of the night, when he's sleeping, I think you have your answer. He is not ready. There is no shame in having to wear a pull-up to sleep. I know LOTS of kids who have to do that.
The child grows faster than his bladder sometimes at this age.
I recommend, obviously, having him use the potty right before bed.
Why the heck would you want to wake up a peacefully sleeping child?
Personally, I think when parents do that it's more about their own egos than the welfare of the child.

He is ready to STOP wearing the pull-up when he wakes with it dry in the morning for at least one week. Make sure you get to him RIGHT when he wakes up in the morning so he's not using that pull-up as the place to take his morning pee.

Chances are you will still have a few accidents after you stop putting him in the pull-up, so make sure you protect the mattress.

Good luck!

My son is 4, to be 5 at the end of July. He is holding it more often at night, but still wets his pull up 2+ times a week. It used to be every night. Now it's if he is overly tired, drinks a lot in the afternoon/evening or if he's just generally sleeping very sound or sleeping in. I've heard others say every child is different and some just can't wake up as easily from a deep sleep. My friend asked her pediatrician, as she was having the same thing going on with her son and the doctor was not concerned. She was waking him up at night to go and then he'd still wet the pull up. He's now grown out of it, but was a "late bloomer" in that area of expertise. Of course we know that every child is different, so that's the tough part of hearing others say younger ones go all night without wetting...

Wow! You read my mind! I am having this very problem and you beat me to posting this question. It looks like this problem has lots of mixed opinions. I change sheet everyday, I don't put a pullup on him. I used too, but since he started staying dry during the day I just thought that he should stay dry during the night. Boy, was I wrong. He knows that it's wrong, but he is sleeping so soundly he doesn't know that he does it. He WILL get up to use the potty at night if he isn't sleeping all that well. I think I will use pull ups again and keep my sanity. I am tired of the daily stripping of his sheets :)Thanks for your posting!

I bought my daughter cloth training pants (Blueberry brand). She new she could pee in a pull up and would do so intentionally. Her pull ups in the morning were always soaked through and I didn't know if she could make it through the night. Sure enough, after about 2 weeks in the cloth training pants at night she was golden. It's highly likely he can do it, he's just not motivated.

Two people I know had the same issue. They took the leap and got rid of the pull-ups, after one or two nights where the child woke up wet (they couldn't feel it in the pull-up and found it convienent) they started getting up to use the bathroom. They also found that it was easier to get the child up in the morning because they had to go to the bathroom.
My youngest son has CP and was horrible to potty train. He does get through the night just fine even though, his bladder control isn't the greatest.
Good luck!

Hi C.,

I have a 3 year old son and I am a single mother. I usually take him to Wapato Park in South Tacoma where we live. It's located off of 72nd and Sheridan Avenue. I usually feel pretty safe there when its just the two of us. Its a big park with toys and swings, and its got some good trails to walk/ride bikes on, along with a big grassy baseball field to play on and picnic areas.. Hope this helps!

S.

I think a 4 yr. old is old enough to hold their bladder but I also think it's an individual thing. Stop giving him liquids a couple of hours before bed, that will help.
All three of my kids potty trained late, they were all around 4 but.........not one of them had any issues with wetting the bed. I don't know why but they just have never had any accidents. Lucky for me. :-)

My son started around the same time as well. I would not wake him up in the middle of the night to go pee. A little saying let sleeping babied lay. We kept my son in pull ups through the night until he started getting up all on his own to pee. Than we knew he could be in underwear all the time. He'll let you know.

I really think it depends on the child. Our daughter will be 3 in August. She has been successfully holding it through the night for a couple of months now and is 95% potty trained during the day. We limit fluid intake in the evening and make sure she uses the toilet right before bed. She also sleeps about 10-11 hours at night. It think in time he'll learn to have night time bladder control just don't push it.

I myself remember having night time accidents when I was 7 or 8 so I think it can take some kids awhile.

Oh, do I remember this. I really wanted my daughter to advance beyond the pull up stage. I thought, well, to be honest, I don't know what I thought. Thinking back, I'm trying to remember what the big deal was? At any rate, I let nature take its course and stopped worrying about it. She eventually stopped peeing at night. In fact, when we finally tried a night without pulls ups, she was so ready that she was successful that first night and never had an accident after that. She was older though, 5 or almost 6. This may seem like a long time to wait but heck, another success for a kid is a big deal.

My daughter was not dry through the night until she was almost 5. We tried everything:limitting fluids, cloth diapers, taking her to pee at 3:00 am, pull ups, you name it! I did some research and talk to my doc and it turns out that 30% of kids just sleep too heavily to recognize the pee signal, which is true because when I'd wake her up to go pee it was like waking the dead.
Save yourself a lot of laundry and get more sleep. Let him wear pull ups. Assure him everynight if he needs to go pee he can get up and go or wake you up to go with him. He'll get it. Some kids just aren't ready. Don't wake him up to go because he won't learn to recognize the sensation himself.

I have almost 4 year old twin boys. I decided to try the night without pull-ups right off the bat after the day dry was mastered and other than a couple pee accidents in the beginning in underwear at night it worked. The first child stayed totally dry at night about 2 weeks after he got the day potty part learned (just after age 3). The second boy was the same way, but 6 months later than his brother at age 3 1/2. So, it is an individual thing, but might be capable. I put one of those crib dry mat pads under the top sheet on the bed, so I could change quickly at night that first week, but it taught them to wake when they felt wet. I always have them try to go potty right before going to bed and right when they wake up. I told them after holding it all night everyone goes right away when they wake up and that they have to try before they go out and start playing with toys. I have a night light in the bathroom across from their room, so they can go right in by themselves even before I get there. They sleep about 8:30 pm to 6:30 or 7 am. I just finally gave my last pack of Pull-ups to a friend after months of not even needing them for travel and it is a great feeling. Good luck to you! He will get there.

Loved hearing Amanda A's advice or "two cents". We have three daughters and they were all different. My middle daughter is going on 8 and still wets the bed. I feel very strong that it has a lot to do with allergies. We discuss it with her doctor and have tried different approaches. Less water at night, alarm, getting her up. I will probably try testing her for food allergies next. But we really try not to bring to much attention to it.
I think at 4 it is too early to worry about. I think you have enough advice and tips to try-so good luck:)

Hello C.! I have a 4 yr. old who sometimes gets up once a night to go pee...she does not wear pull ups to bed. When we potty trained her, we did it during the day and at bedtime. I can truly say that in the year and a half that she has been potty trained she has only peed in her bed a few times. So my advice would be to do away with the pull ups at night time. I wouldn't go and wake him up either, to go, just make sure there is a good lighted path to the bathroom, and show him before he goes to bed what he should do if he wakes up and has to go. You may be changing sheets for awhile, but he will catch on. He will not like sleeping in his pee! And you could put some plastic down under his bottom sheet for awhile. Good luck to you!