Is 2.5 Years Old Too Young for Preschool?

I have several times recently seen a 2 year old class heading down the hall to wash hands before snack time. It makes me sad. They look a little lost or something. Definitely not smiling or interacting with each other. Too young I think.

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Hello,

That seems really young to start school. My youngest started pre-school when he was 3 and he was there until he started school (which was the age of 5). He was also 100% potty trained and they usually don't take them until they can use the bathroom by themseleves. Don't push it you will know when he is ready and enjoy that time when they are little it doesn't last long.
Good Luck.
KRW

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I don't think 2.5 is too young , it depends on the child. You should look around at a few more preschools until you find one that you are comfortable/happy with. Not all preschools require kids to be potty trained , esp at his age and also drinking from a sippy cup is not a big deal. Could it be that she just doesn't want to lose the income from having your son at the moment and that is why she is saying that he is not ready? You need to do what you think is best for your son , and if moving him to a preschool is what you want then go for it.

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I know there was one person who responded that said she was an Early Childhood professional and did feel it was too young. Just to keep it balanced, so is my SIL, and she thought it was a great idea to put my son in a preschool when he was 2. She also worked with 2 yr olds specifically for 6 or 7 years before teaching in an elementary school. Currently, she's a SAHM and homeschools a child she watches while that child's mom works. She felt more kids would be better off if they were in good preschools at younger ages. It helped my son so much with communication with other kids and he wasn't potty trained, but the school was set so that 2 yr olds didn't have to be, but 3 yr olds did. They had extra teachers in the 2's class so that each child would have plenty of one-on-one time with the teacher and they'd always have two teachers in the room while one was changing diapers/supervising bathroom time. My son really blossomed in his 2's class, and we loved that. They had a lot of play time, and a few short story and song times. Halfway through the year they started show and tell and he really loved that. It taught him to talk about something and he was learning how to describe things. When he was 3 though...that was a BAD year. He got bullied and it seemed like he was withdrawing more, and more shy and uncertain of himself. It didn't undo all of the benefits of the previous year, and he kept saying he liked it, so we continued to let him go, but I still wonder if that was the right decision. This year we kept him home. I'm a stay at home mom, so I didn't have to choose one or the other, (daycare or preschool), but even with the limited hours of the preschool (a total of 9 hrs in class a week) it was still detrimental to him the last year. If you decide to put him in a preschool, make sure it's one you KNOW you want him in. Otherwise, you might find yourself asking if you did the right thing, like I still do when my son is withdrawn. And we did talk to the school about the bullying, but the class had 2 girls and 12 boys so the teachers had their hands too full to notice all of it, but once I talked to them, I expected it to get better, and it did, but not completely.

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I don't mean to offend, but if your current care giver is catering to his every need, you might find a different environment, after a brief adjustment period, will do a world of good for your child. My daughter was in daycare/preschool since age 7 weeks, so no, he is not too young! And my girl was not potty trained until she was almost 4 (yikes!) and it was never a problem with the center she attended. The important thing is to find the right center or school. If I learned anything from my experiences, it is...if you are not comfortable, keep looking until you are! Not ever place is right for every family situation. You will know when you have the right environment for you and your child.

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depending on where you live in No. Va., there are preschools who take two year olds who aren't potty trained. However, most are preschools, not daycare. I work at a preschool that offers a two year old program. they offer one or two days a week for three hours a time. the teachers work on potty training with the children and they have a lot of fun playing within a structured routine. If you look, depending on your needs and wants, there are preschools. contact me directly if you want information about our two year old preschool program. it is located in haymarket. good luck.

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If you want more structure and need full time, look for a 2's program at a daycare/preschool he can move up in. A good one will work on potty training, as well as motor skills and academics with lots of time for play.

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I think that the idea of preschool is daunting for a 2 year old. But there is a difference between a structured, group daycare setting and an official preschool. If they are simply in a group setting, then I see no problem with it, as my son was in group care from 4 months until about 3 1/2, and did fine. They should not be "teaching" in the 4-year-old preschool sense at this age, but providing age-appropriate hands on learning that will stimulate learning appropriate behaviors for the future. There should be plenty of room for free play because there will be enough structure when they get older. Good luck!

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I would just say if you don't feel 100% comfortable with the preschool that you looked at then look elsewhere. Listen to your intuition. We, as moms, feel so much pressure to do the right thing. Whatever you decide just stick with it. Kids at that age learn mostly from play anyway. So if the daycare provider is playing with him then he is probably learning what he needs to know. You can also work on any other skills (fork, cup, etc) at home.

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I suggest you look for a two year old preschool program if you want him to have a more school like or cirriculum based experience. Most preschools want kids to be three, and your provider is correct that 6 months makes a world of difference. However, I would get her to work with him on soem of the fine motor skills that you mention - a child of tha tage should be useing a cup and utensils at least on occasion and I would worry that she is not encouraging him enough on those things.

However, my overall opinion is that you don't rush him into "school." A good care-giver should be providing plenty of structure and learning and socialization opportunities without over-scheduling him. he is still a baby, and i would let him stay "home." as long as possibl. You wouldn't be doing anything wrong by keeping him hom from school until he is 4 or 5. This need of parents to put their kids in preschool is new - many of us 30-somethings started with kindergarten at age 5!

I will admit that I sent my child into preschool at 3, but I strongly considered holding off a year. But she was a part-time day care baby, used to a big structured center with lots of kids and spanish, computers, etc. (I wasn't comfortable with home care). But she had outgrown day care, and I am a strong believer in Montessori education which starts at three.

I guess, I just don't want to see you rush him because you feel like he has to go to school. Let him be a baby for as long as he can be, as long as he is getting good care. Most preschools move the kids around every 20-30 minutes. I think a kid needs to just be allowed to play and decide what he wants to do without all that structure. maybe a good compromise would be preschool 2 morning s aweek and your provider gets him the rest of the time?

As far as picking a preschool - go visit them, sit in on classes and observe. Feel totally comfortable tha the will thrive. Don't settle.

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My son started preschool when he just turned 2. I had many people tell me he wasn't ready, including the State Infants and Toddlers program. He is very active and didn't always listen to them. His speech was very behind. He also wasn't using a regular cup and wasn't near potty training at the time. But he was so eager to join in when we dropped and picked his older sister up that I just knew he would be fine. Our pediatrician agreed that the structure of a preschool program would be great for him. We actually had him in 2 programs, a traditional preschool program one morning a week, and a preschool/daycare program another 2 mornings a week. When I filled out the forms describing my child, I didn't sugar coat anything. During the orientation session, I warned the teachers that he was very hyper. At the end of the year, the teacher said to me, "you had me so scared with your description, but I have to tell you, he is nothing like how you described. He sits and listens, and is an angel." He absolutely loves going to school every morning and hates staying home. My daughter on the other hand, started when she turned 2, and hated it. Cried every morning for months. Was fine once I left but hated leaving me until she was 5. I think you need to trust your instincts. Every child is different. He will learn to drink from a cup at preschool and as for potty training, in my son's 3 yo room, over half are still not trained. If you find the right place, he will likely love the experience. Your babysitter may not want to let him go. They become very attached to their kids, so you need to do what you think is best.

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There are absolutely preschools or "daycare" schools that he does not need to be potty trained. Drinking out of a sippy cup is perfered at that age and a using utensils is not a pre-req. She might just want to keep him there, that is all. On the other hand, you are not "hurting" him by keeping him there either. My son had been in daycare since he was two and learned everything he needed to know quickly. He loved every minute of it!

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I have a couple of different takes on your post. First, many 2.5 year old boys are still very, very young. I agree with your sitter that there will be a big difference in 6 months. He's really still a baby and there is no rush to push him into a school setting. He has many, many years ahead of him for that. I think it's wonderful that she takes such good care of him, but she should be fostering his independence and not doing everything for him. Does she work with her daycare kids during the day - storytime, arts and crafts, music and dancing, learning letters? She definitely should be doing those things. It doesn't have to be structured per say, but should be happening on a regular basis. If you feel it's time for a change, I think that's certainly valid reason to move him out, but I would also consider that he's just had a big change in his life getting a sibling a few months ago. Six more months in a loving daycare home won't hurt him in any way and he'll have adjusted to the change in his family before you change his daycare situation too. Little ones need time to adjust to such monumental life changes.
My last thought is, if you don't walk away from a preschool loving EVERY aspect of it, don't put him there. Trust your gut. It will be really hard for him if you put him in a preschool, don't like what's going on, and must move him again. Be 100% sure yourself and your positive outlook will rub off on him and you won't be doubting yourself when he cries about not wanting to go.
Good luck! It will all work out fine. Remember that a year from now he'll be an old pro at school and you'll be working on the next major issue.

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we had a full time nanny who was lovely, took our child to tiny tot classes daily for about 4 hours a day. we had an opportunity to enroll our daughter in a montessori school (that program starts as early as 2). she was 2.4-she wasn't potty trained and we were concerned about pushing her too fast.

within ONE WEEK-her language skills were better, she was learning new skills, and she seemed to come alive going from toddler to a preschooler. she learned to put her lunch down at the door, say goodbye to us and walk into school. she is 3.6 now-can read, understands math, is outgoing, bright. we think it's because she started school early.

kids rise to the occassion and your expectations.

Updated

we had a full time nanny who was lovely, took our child to tiny tot classes daily for about 4 hours a day. we had an opportunity to enroll our daughter in a montessori school (that program starts as early as 2). she was 2.4-she wasn't potty trained and we were concerned about pushing her too fast.

within ONE WEEK-her language skills were better, she was learning new skills, and she seemed to come alive going from toddler to a preschooler. she learned to put her lunch down at the door, say goodbye to us and walk into school. she is 3.6 now-can read, understands math, is outgoing, bright. we think it's because she started school early.

kids rise to the occassion and your expectations.

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Depends on the kids! Both my children started at 2 years 4 months. They were both potty trained & had a lot of language. It also depends on the school. Montessori was perfect for both of mine. Because the Montessori is big on self help skills they helped finish off the potty training for both of mine. They were probably both 85-90% potty trained, but the focus on independence was big, so they helped both of them to be able to go independently! BTW- I have both a boy & girl, so sex of child doesn't always matter! If you feel language wise he understands and is able to use words typical for 2 1/2 year olds then he is fine. Don't worry about the open cup, spoon, fork thing. As long as there isn't a motor reason he is not doing these then he will pick them up quickly. My guess is that he is not doing them in the daycare because he doesn't need too. There are also a lot of 2-3 programs where kids go 1/2 day 2-3 days a week and that might be good too. Both mine were doing full day at 2 1/2, but the environment was perfect. Feel free to contact me if you have questions. I work with kids, so know a lot about typical & atypical development.

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I didn't read the other responses, but I think you're absolutely right, your son DOES need the structure of a preK. That first year of preschool, the teachers prefer the child to be potty trained, HOWEVER, they understand that children mature and hit that milestone at different ages, and most preschools are flexible with it... plus, once your son sees his peers using the potty, he'll catch on fairly quickly, making life easier for you too! It's never too early to give your child a head start in learning and structure and discipline from an outside source... it's good to have teachers back up what you're teaching your child at home. I'm not sure where you live, but both my girls went to TLC preschool off Parham Road... my mom worked there for 10 years before retiring from teaching, and I have nothing but positive things to say about their teaching methods and the teachers themselves. They are sensitive to every childs individual needs (as well as the fact that they are outstanding when it comes to dealing with children from different backgrounds, children with special needs such as diabetes or severe allergies, etc). It's not just a school, it's like having a second family. GOOD LUCK in your decision, and let me know you you'd like more information.

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We just moved from your area, and I found there were plenty of programs that would accept a 2-year-old. You are lucky b/c I can't find many in IL at all.
I would recommend you go with a play-based preschool where he'll have fun. Park district ones are great. Avoid academics.
My son tried a more pricey private catholic preschool that has assigned desks, and he hated it. I was worried he was on the path to hate school. Plus, the reason I put him in preschool was so he'd have FUN and get out of the house, to not feel cooped up with his toddler sister and newborn brother.
I have him at the park district now and he LOVES it. He is learning an insane amount. Fine motor, letters, songs, language, gross motor, etc. Academic was not part of the language in the curriculum at all. Kids learn best through play.
Be careful because in Falls Church a lot of the preschools seemed too, well, advanced and not in tune to a child. There is a spanish immersion one I would have given anything to have near us. It is probably not super cheap, but since we've done spanish since he was born I wanted the reinforcement. I can't find that here.

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I think it depends on your son and also on the preschool program you choose. Our son is 2.5 years old and qualifies for the Child Find preschool program which he will start next month, but it is a special ECSE program, so all the kids in his class will get group speech therapy, and he may also get additional occupational therapy (he isn't yet potty trained, still uses a sippy cup and hasn't mastered his utensils yet either). You could ask your pediatrician, or if you find a good school that takes young kids who are still potty training, maybe they'll evaluate your child and see what they think. Best of luck.

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My son was a little over 2.5 when we moved him from the at-home sitter he had been with since he was 9 weeks old. My son was not potty trained, did drink from a sippy cup and was ok with using a fork and spoon. We loved our at-home sitter but felt he needed to be with kids his own age because he was mainly around infants and toddlers.

Moving him to a preschool/daycare was the BEST thing we ever did. We looked at few centers and found that a smaller christian preschool/daycare was the right fit. My son is there full-time Monday-Friday (8-4) and from 9:30 - 12:30 is the preschool program and the remainder of the time is the daycare program. It was hard the first week or two when he was adjusting to the switch but we just really talked up the "big boy school" and of course we were able to call and check on him as often as we wanted too!

Since being at the preschool/daycare center his language has developed greatly, he learned to drink from a small cup (they use the small dixie cups) and more importantly he is fully potty-trained (hooray!!!)!! He was doing great going pee-pee after the first few months of starting there but we were having a hard time with the pooping but once he moved up the 3 year old classroom he got that down in about a month!

The preschool/daycare center is a blessing and the staff is wonderful. Most days when I go to pick up my son he doesn't want to leave because he is having some much fun. So if you are ready for your son to move on then I would do it now because a lot of the centers want the children potty-trained when they turn 3 so if you get him in now into a 2 year old room then between you working on potty-training at home and the center encouraging and helping him then he will have it down and be good to go when he is 3!!

Good luck with your decision! :)

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Well, hi again -- I just responded to your other post...There are some preschools (not many) that take kids at 2 and a half and our daughter started that young, but she was potty trained for daytime, very outgoing and able to be left alone happily, etc. And very importantly, she went to preschool for only two three-hour sessions each week, no more.

I would say that you certainly can wait. It truly won't "hinder his development" as you put it if he stays with a day care provider another six months or longer -- especially as you are greatly benefited by having a provider who sounds wonderful and attentive. (You're very fortunate so hang onto her!). He may need time more than structure and social interaction with other kids more than early ABCs right now. Unless he is somehow showing he's bored, let him have another six months or more. Those months do make a gigantic difference in maturity in the early years, as your day care provider notes. IF you start him too early in preschool it can be so difficult for him and for you too.

One thing to consider -- he could still stay with his day care provider but go to preschool some of the time. You would not find a full-day (day care equivalent) preschool for a child his age anyway except at a few places (possibly including the place I mentioned in the other post). Preschool at this age often is only two or maybe three half-days a week anyway, which is just plenty for this age. Then he could have his regular day care provider the rest of the time. But I would even let that possible plan wait until he is at least three.

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As an Early Childhood professional, yes, I believe it is too young to put your son in preschool. He still desperately needs the one on one attention that he is getting. He is not old enough or mature enough to be put into a preschool setting. I would highly recommend that you wait at least the next 6 months. He will take on alot more traits of a little boy during that time and lose more and more traits of a baby. Don't rush it, give him time to ease into the natural transition of baby to boy.

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Try this, okay? Get down at his level and look around. Especially at a daycare center. How does it make you feel?
Now magnify your feelings by 100%, and that might give you some insight into your toddlers world. Wait a little while, for one thing, those places are a breeding ground for germs, he will get sick, and another, they are super expensive.
I hope for his caregivers sake you're giving her time to adjust tothe idea as well, we spend a great deal of time with these little ones, it's sad to see them moving on. I'd consider her input as well.
Good luck with whatever you decide! :)

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All the preschools around here require them to be 3 before the beginning of the school year. My daughter who just turned 4 was ready for preschool last year but was not old enough because she turned 3 in December.. not August. You would check with area preschools to see if getting him in during the school year is even an option (seems weird to me but.... guess all states are different).
Rather than an actual preschool maybe try to find a daycare setting that is more structured.. my friends kids go to one that is very scheduled just like school they have different Pre-K learning activities for different ages, etc. Her daughter started there at 2 until began school this year and her son has been there since birth! They are small enough that it can be individualized to each child. One girl learned to read there before starting kindergarten... my daughter did too but that was at home. So there are other options for you other than putting him in regular preschool.
You could also talk with your current provider to see if she can work in some more structure like preschool would be for him. I know it is hard for with other children but maybe she could figure it out.
Or find someone else... sometimes it is hard for someone who has cared for a child as "mommy" to then turn into "teacher".
He doesn't really sound like he is ready for a regular preschool setting however. They do need to be fully potty trained and able to drink from regular cup, feed themselves snack (or lunch) etc.
Hope this helps :)

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do you have reasons other than wanting structure for your little one? honestly, it sounds as if he has it great right where he is........a safe, loving, dependable caregiver who adores him. the only structure toddlers need are regular meal and nap times, along with gentle behavior guidance. at this age he is supposed to be exploring the world freely and according to his own whim, not locked into a schedule. naturally preschools have to have structure, they couldn't operate without it. but it is for THEIR benefit (and sanity), not for the kids'. you are not hindering your child's development by allowing him to spend his time while he's this tiny in a safe loving environment. he'll spend the rest of his life learning then dealing with other people's structures. does he really have to begin already?
khairete
S.

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