iPhone For 9 Year Old

J.,

If you are going through a divorce, you are entering a very tough parenting time. I guess I could understand if a non custodial parent wanted the child to have a phone to contact him at any time he wanted, but it would need to be something that you supported, otherwise he would learn a great deal about splitting. Kids of divorce become very manipulative if they are given the chance to be...I have seen it first hand in my step son.

With that being said, if he needs a phone, he needs a phone, why attach it as an incentive. What will the incentive need to be next? Don't buy off your kids. Getting to school is a reponsibility, not a favor. We should not "pay" kids for meeting basic responsibilities. How about get yourself ready for school or no TV for a week? How's that for reinforcement? Not "if you do, I give...but if you don't do, I take) That makes you the parent in control.

Personally I would never give a child that age a phone, just let him call his Dad whenever he wants. Where is he going to be at age 9 if not at home with you or his dad? He really shouldn't NEED a phone if you cooperate with giving him open access to his dad.

In the end, we can give you all of our opinions, but you have to do what works for you. Just know that there may be negative health concerns related to excessive cell phone use (something about the battery being close to the brain causing tumors), and of course the concerns related to hearing loss with headphones and earbuds.

Let us know how it turns out.

D.

1 mom found this helpful

A 9 year old should NOT have an I-phone, unless you want them to be spoiled, unappreciative and expect everything when they grow up- which will probably result in major credit card debt. C'mon. Give her an emergiency and fun phone and if she insists on an i-phone help her figure out a way she can earn the money to pay the difference for that phone, monthly. You and her might learn something. Do society a favor and do not give her what ever she wants just because. Sorry to be harsh, but this is nauseating.

I don't see an issue with a 9 year old having an iPod. It's something to listen to music on and you can get one that's relatively inexpensive. As far as an iPhone, I think that's way too much for a 9 year old child to have. My daughter has a cell phone and she has had one for about 2 years now I started her out with one of those really cheap pre-paid phones. She had to learn to manage her minutes and it was a good tool to teach responsibility. An iPhone iw way too expensive for a 9 year old to have.

My 9 year old has an ipod and a cell phone and both have been helpful at various times (good when I'm late at pick up or she misses the bus or the babysitter doesn't show up for the phone, long car rides for the ipod). It all depends on where you live and what your child does afterschool etc. We actually did a thing similar to your husband. In September, we told our daughter we would spend up to $100 on a phone on her birthday (late October), but each time she was late for school we would deduct $10. On her birthday, she could choose whatever phone with however much was left. She wasn't late once!

One concern I have is theft, muggings etc. and so she can only bring her Ipod out when she is with an adult (no ipod in school) and her phone is a pretty standard one. Iphone's are not only expensive, they are very desirable. Not just that, they can go on the internet, and monitoring the internet usage is much harder than when they're sitting in front of you on the computer. They are really cool, I really want one! But, I think it may be too much for a 9 year old.

I don't think an iphone is a good idea, too much to control...an ipod...well I don't have one for any of my kids but that's not sooo bad(not good to use earphones alot, hearing loss is up 200% in the last decade). If you could settle on one of those kid phones were they can only call mom,dad and 911...that could be a good thing when going through a divorce...then you and your soon to be ex will never be out of reach for your son....again I don't feel the need for one for my children but it could be a good place to settle...you all win(dad buys the gift, you still restrict use and your sons gets a phone as promised). I don't think buying love is a good idea and it can become a very expensive and bad habit....children shouldn't need to know what's in it for them if they do what they are told to do, they should do what you ask of them because you are the parents. Rewards should be given when they go beyond what is expected or for special occassions, not as a bribe. Of course this is my opinion so take it as nothing more than that. Best of luck!

Hi J.,

I am not sure what your issue is because I cannot read your post so I am going to guess that your daughter wants an IPhone. I do believe she is way too young. I would love an Iphone but I don't even have one yet. The insurance is very expensive and paying for the internet is another additional cost that I don't feel is worth it. I have 4 children who all have cell phones. However, I got them the phones that came free with the deal. I needed to know that they could be responsible with them. As they got older, I did get them better phones but not the most expensive. My older daughter wanted a very expensive phone and she bought it herself. First week she has it it got stolen! We were lucky because we had insurance. I just feel all cell phones only last so long. They are outdated as soon as they come out. So my advice is to tell your daughter that it is not worth the investment and right now she has to learn how to take care of a cell phone. Then explain all the additional expense associated with the I phone. Also, explain to her that when she gets older and has a job she can buy whatever phone she wants because she will be able to help pay for it and will be more responsible because she is older. Hope this helps.

I can't see your original post either, but I would say - if your daughter wants a cell phone - there are MANY other options that are less expensive and more "kid" friendly. I would recommend a prepaid type so she can't run up minutes or text messages. ( I used to work for a cell phone company and that was parents biggest problem - like $1000.00 cell phone bill - YIKES!)

Find out exactly what it is about the iPhone that she likes. It is a VERY complex phone, it has internet access and email and all kinds of other features. I would not be comfortable with my daughter having a cell phone at all at that age - but in the end - it is YOUR decision.

Is it an iPhone or an iPod. There's a difference. An iPod is just an MP3 player. You download music into it, nothing more. And that's no big deal. But an iPhone is totally different. And they cost a couple hundred $$$ just to get one. Plus a cell phone plan. I'd have a problem handing over a cell phone to a 9 yr old. with free reign. There I don't think so. There is a difference between positive reinforcement and plan old buying your child out.

You said iphone, and then you said ipod, so I don't know which you mean. There is nothing at all wrong with a 9 year old having an ipod. Both of my older kids, 7 and 9, have MP3 players, but not the iPod brand. It's just for playing music and videos. However, if you mean an iPhone then that's just crazy cause those things are several hundred dollars. No 9 year old needs a cell phone.

I agree with the positive reinforcement. When my 7 yr was in Kindergarten we were having problems with him finishing his class work. It was close to the end of the year and I gave him a choice. If he couldn't get his work completed when it was supposed to be done then I would hold him back the next year. The second choice was that if he could prove to me he could do finish the work then soon after the last day of school he would get the $50 remote control helicopter he had been wanting. It worked. He completed his work, and got the helicopter. We haven't had problems in that area since.

You know what amazes me is how differant the responses are from one person to the next. Where one person think it's the greatest mistake; the next thinks it's a great idea.
Like most things "its personnal"
My girl has had a phone since she was 5 years old (firefly). At the time, I got so much slack for her having a phone from the family. Oh my God. She is now 7 3/4 and she has a kajett. You can montitor everything the do on the phone for youself on your home computer. NOTE: What is it about husbands thinking that is the counselors or the prinicpals responsiblity to do our parenting for us. My sick husband threaten to go to the principal with our daughters ill bahavior. not right. anyway an iphone is a bit much.

Yes, an iPhone is a bit much for a 9 yr old. Heck, I couldn't even justify buying one for myself when I added up all the other costs plus the cost of the phone-I'd have to break my contract with Verizon and pay fees for that, plus the cost of the phone and whatever package I decided on...too much! (I settled for an iPod touch-all of the cool things minus the camera and phone.)Get her a Samsung Juke or something similar, you can get those either for free or close to it. Even if you have to pay full price, it's still less than an iPhone.