Inviting Myself to Something, Etiquette

Super, super rude to invite yourself.

Sorry, no dice.

8 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't hint - that strikes me as the "rude" part.

But I would be straightforward: "Hey - it's no biggie if you say no, but hubby and I just realized we have no superbowl plans. If you have room, we'd love to come and bring my cheese dip. I don't mean to invite myself and I completely understand if you have a full house, or it's just family. If you don't - absolutely no big deal - we'll just all get together in March!"

The main points in my ask - tell her that a "No" answer is completely acceptable, and give her some type of no guilt "out" (full house, no room)

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If it were me having the party, I'd be flattered that you'd want to join us so much that you invited yourself.

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That's a no-go. And hinting: Could you ever tell anyone "no" that is inviting themselves? I couldn't.

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If you know they would love to have you, invite yourself! More is merrier on Superbowl Sunday.

Others can give you the words. How about, "You got room for two more?"

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You could try striking up a conversation about the super bowl and casually mention that your plans fell through. If she invites you, great! If not, then leave it at that, and you and hubby go to a local bar and watch it on the big screen with a big plate of wings. :)

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well I can't speak for everyone but pretty much most people hit the nai on the head...inviting yourselves over not so good...but hey if you are goo enough friend to feel you could do that then you should be good enough friends to bring up the subject and tell her that you would love to watch the game with them if it's okay. My hubby and I also have good friends who eat out with us and hang out at each others houses often but they know we are not into everything they are like sports or landmark stuff so every once in a while they might throw a party to which we are not invited..once I asked to come but they said no and they actually had a good reason..we are still great friends.

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Sorry - I wouldn't invite myself to a party. Since she knows you are not into sports - she probably didn't invite you because she wants to watch the game....

Although I'm usually of the adage the more the merrier...if you aren't in to sports it would be rude of you to invite yourself and expect her to entertain you.

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No.
It is never polite to invite yourself.

Everyone, has different groups of friends.

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I would let them know that your plans have fallen through or you don't have plans, and leave it up to them to invite you. Otherwise, I don't know if I would invite myself.

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AFTER READING YOUR "SO WHAT HAPPENED", If this is your "good friend", what was the purpose of your post?

No you should not. If she and her husband would "love" to have you, they would have extended an invitation. Friends and neighbors that go to dinner can be very different then "sports fans". I think it is a real breach of etiquette to "invite yourself" to an event. It could very well damage your existing friendship.

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If she would absolutely love to have you, why didn't she invite you? If she thinks you have other plans, let her casually know that it's not the case and see what happens. I would not invite myself, but I do hope she gets it and you guys have fun!

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what was the context of her mentioning it? what was your conversation before and after. did you show any interest? if not, she may just think u arent into sports. if it were one of my closer friends, i would call and say hey, you mentioned having a get together. Do you mind if we stop by?

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Depends how close you are to this friend...I have friends that if my plans fell through, I know I could go their house for the party. But if it's just a casual friend, then absolutely not.
Also, if you are good friends, is there a reason she didn't invite you to begin with? Did she think you have a standing superbowl party to go to, or does she figure that you won't be interested because you don't like sports?

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If she wanted you and your family there she would have asked. I would not recommend you inviting yourself. You could mention having no plans but other than that nothing.

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I wouldn't invite myself but...
You can always "hint" that you're interested, like, "oh your party sounds fun!" Then drop it. There may be a reason she's not asking you guys. Some people have set numbers when they entertain...or it could be something else, who knows.
How about going to a sports bar? I'm not big into sports either but that is ALWAYS fun :)

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I agree w/ Robin...try to open conversation up and mention not having plans. You shouldn't just invite yourself unless you KNOW it would be ok and not put her on the spot.

I had a "friend" do that once...we had a huge football party (it was OUR superbowl...not the real one, but for us Vikings fans, close enough!) and this girl who's daughter and my daughter were best friends found out about it and being a Vikings fan, invited herself. It was awful...she was rude, belched the whole time she was here, offended everyone and made everyone uncomfortable. (when she asked if she could come, I didn't feel that I could say no, I felt mean and I get along w/ her ok, be we aren't besties or anything.)

Anyway...try to be sneaky and "wangle" an invite, as Robin said. :) Good luck....sports fan or not, superbowl parties are always fun...I love the commercials!!! :)

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I wouldn't do it but my hubby WOULD! =)

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This is tough, I'm not one to do that kind of stuff either! You are good friends though, right? It really depends on how close you all are. Would it be super weird and awkward to say,

"Hey, are you still doing the Superbowl thing you talked about earlier? B/c I have a great queso and chips recipe I'd love to bring over! We don't usually watch the game, but are kind of excited about it this year."

She mentioned it to you, so it's not like she's keeping it a big secret b/c she doesn't want you to come, right? Otherwise, I'd maybe mention that you are thinking about watching the game, but don't have any plans set for it... maybe a nice way to hint that you are available. It that considered passive aggressive?

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My friend suggested that I host a girls night party and I did! She even invited some of her friends that I really didn't know very well. It makes me feel good that we are good enough friends that we can do this. She has a pool so there are many days that I invite myself over...if it is not a good day she says so. I think it really depends on the relationship you have with her. I certainly would ask my best friends and they would ask me but people I am just friendly with I would not but these friends are friends that we have over on Christmas day so we are very close.

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These are good friends....not a casual acquaintances. They probably didn't invite you because they know you well enough to know you are not sports people. Call her and ask if she would mind if you and your husband came to her party! Just tell her you don't have any plans but plan to watch the Super Bowl anyway and cheer for the "home team". And watching with other people is always much more fun! It doesn't matter if you are sports people or not....it's the Super Bowl! Everyone wants to see the Super Bowl. And the commercials!

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Well, I don't suggest anyone ever invite themselves to anything. However, you could certainly admit to "I guess we'll just be watching the Superbowl at home this year" and looking forward to seeing all the great commercials. Chances are she will say "Why don't you joing us?"

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I would talk to her that you would like to come or just ask if they have room for a few more.

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If you are good enough friends to say "Hey Mary, we have no plans for the Super Bowl, would it be OK to bring some XYZ and head over to your place?"

It WOULD be putting her on the spot a bit. (How would she say no?)

And don't you think she would have asked if you could come when it came up in conversation earlier?

I don't know--depends on the kind of relationship you have with them , I guess. Only you know that!

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it could be that they don't want to mix groups of friends. Its possible their house is too small for one more family. If you can be discreet about mentioning that your plans fell through she may offer an invite. I think dropping hints is better than inviting yourself over.

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you can't really invite yourself-but you can create the opportunity to reopen the discussion-that said-if you then wangle an invite-take a lot of food and alcoholic beverages!

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you casually mention that you have no plans for the game during one of your next conversations and hopes she invites you. 'cause she may not have invited you thinking you already had plans.

Don't invite yourself to her party - there is really no good way to do that :(

I would not invite myself. I might, however, just call her and chat, and see if it comes up - what are you doing for the weekend? Oh nothing, no plans, boring, wish I had something going on, we must be the only couple with no plans for Super Bowl Sunday. Maybe she will get the hint. Good luck