11 answers

Invited to a First Communion, Do We Buy a Gift?

We were invited to the first communion for my good friend's daughter. We are Jewish and have never been invited to a communion before, so I do not know what the etiquette is for gift giving. We will be on vacation so we will not be attending. Do we send a present? money? What is customary/appropriate? Your assistance is appreciated.

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Thank you all for your advice. I decided to send a card with $50. I love that this is such a great place to get really great advice.


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You can do either gift or money. If a gift something special. Jewelry is often given (charm, charm bracelet, necklace, earring if ears are pierced). Or you can give money or a savings bond.

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The appropriate gift would be a token of the Catholic religion - a rosary, a necklace with a cross, a bible, etc. However, if you're not going I think a card would be sufficient.

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Hi K., Yes this is the First Communion time of year! I am sure you can find a nice card in a local drug store and a money gift of your chioce is in order. Sorry you cannot attend as the little girl will surely look lovely in her white dress and veil. some people do get a little religious keepsake but I am sure some money will be appreciated. Grandma Mary

I'm not an expert, but I think that since you aren't actually going to be there, that a nice note letting your friend know you are thinking of her on this special day would be the best blessing you could give her. You might send a note to your friend's daughter giving her a blessing on her special day. I don't think that you should feel obligated to send a gift for something like this...most will be religious in nature...a cross necklace, Bible, etc...some give cash, but this really isn't necessary for a 1st communion... Better to show that you are thinking of their family with a personal note, and blessing them by wishing them well. Hope this is helpful.

You can do either gift or money. If a gift something special. Jewelry is often given (charm, charm bracelet, necklace, earring if ears are pierced). Or you can give money or a savings bond.

I would suggest just like with the others, to send a card with a monetary value, or gift card. Usually jewelry is acceptable too- a nice bracelet or necklace.

Since you aren't going to be there, a gift is not necessary - unless you are very close to the family. If you choose to send a gift, something small is more than adequate. I've sent rosaries, a catholic bible, or even a book of bible stories...

I would put cash in an envelope, maybe $25. I come from a Jewish family too, and would not be comfortable in purchasing a religious item, although typical gifts for these occasions are symbolic of the Catholic faith. I would give cash.

If I were you I would put money in a card. The amount, that depends on how close you are to your friend and your financial ability, but normally the amount starts at $20 on up. If it is family then it is can be higher. The other thing you might want to consider is a $50 savings bond, they are great and child can cash it in when she is ready to go off to college or later.


I would send a savings bond or $50. It is not necessary since you are not going, but I always do. It is a nice gesture esp if they are good friends of yours.

In Italy we do give gifts. It used to be things that last, like a small jewel or an important pen. But in modern times I imagine people give more modern gifts (electronics, for instance, but I have not been at one in ages). I am not sure American Catholics hold the same custom. I would simply ask details about the etiquette. I have done it myself when invited to Jewish celebrations and my inquiry and interest was much appreciated by my friends, who were very happy to explain. If this may help, when I received my First Communion (in the 70s) I remember being given a couple of beautiful editions of the New Testament. Maybe you could send a nice Bible with a note?

My initial thought is that a card and note would be adequate as you will not be attending. If you want to include a gift, perhaps a gift card to Barnes and Noble would be a good choice. I also like the idea of a savings bond. I don't think giving a Christian gift (Bible, rosary, etc.) is the best choice.

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