18 answers

Invited to 2 Classmate Birthday Parties on the Same Day

My daughter got an invitation today for two birthday parties on the same day. One party goes 12-2 and the other 1-3. The later party is for a classmate she is closer with, so given the choice I am sure she would pick this party.

I personally think she should pick one party and go with it. However, another classmate/friend's mom has stated she is going to talk to the mom of the first party and see if that mom is ok with her child only going for an hour, then leaving to attend the other classmates party. She asked if we would do the same, because we are friends. I just don't feel like it would even be worth the time, if the birthday mom is ok with this. Its a bowling party and I know that an hour won't be that long, and they will probably only end up bowling a couple times, with the amount of kids invited and then have to leave.

What would you do? Would you try to attend both or only do one? If you were the parent throwing the party what would you prefer the classmates do?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks for all the different opinions. I had decided that I was going to let my daughter choose which one she would rather go to and just purchase a gift for the other one.

But, just last night, I got a call from my friend, who is the one that was going to try to do both. They got a call from second party classmate's parents and they changed their daughter's party to the following weekend. So I guess issues resolved.

Featured Answers

I would just attend one - we had a similar situation this fall and did just that. The rushed leaving only leads to frustration on the child's part - "why can't I stay so and so is?" and the host's part as 1/2 the people are leaving. I'd go to the second party, and politely rsvp no to the first. Enjoy.

4 moms found this helpful

Sometimes I do half and half. Leave early for one and come late for the other one. If the second one is at home, maybe you can ask to come a bit later (after the first one finish) but stay a bit late for the kids to play.

It's a tough choice and looks like you cannot win either way.
Let her pick one. And send a gift for the other one and arrange for a playdate :)

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I would just attend one - we had a similar situation this fall and did just that. The rushed leaving only leads to frustration on the child's part - "why can't I stay so and so is?" and the host's part as 1/2 the people are leaving. I'd go to the second party, and politely rsvp no to the first. Enjoy.

4 moms found this helpful

Whenever our kids have a schedule conflict like this, we try to see if it's feasable or if it would just be rude to try to attend both. If you're watching the clock, you don't enjoy the party.

Consider the invites by whose came first, which friend is closer, and your family schedule. If 12-2 is bad timing for your family, maybe send a card and a present to that child (if they are a good friend) and go to the 1-3 party.

You can't attend it all. My DH sometimes still tries...sometimes it's best to just pick one and enjoy that one instead of trying to please everyone. If it happens again next year, consider picking the other kid. Reasonable people will understand that you can't do it all. You don't even have to say it's another party. Just say you have a schedule conflict, here's a gift, maybe next year.

3 moms found this helpful

Sometimes I do half and half. Leave early for one and come late for the other one. If the second one is at home, maybe you can ask to come a bit later (after the first one finish) but stay a bit late for the kids to play.

It's a tough choice and looks like you cannot win either way.
Let her pick one. And send a gift for the other one and arrange for a playdate :)

2 moms found this helpful

I would just pick one and politely decline the other.

2 moms found this helpful

Both birthday moms have, by now, realized that their kids' parties are on the same day. This is one of those dilemmas of life. I don't think leaving one party early to attend the other is the answer. Imagine if all the kids did that? You need to pick one party and go to that. Almost every kid invites school friends, cousins, family friends, church friends, etc. - so there will be other kids at both parties. If you child is closer to the friend with the later party then go to that party - and graciously decline the earlier. Look at it as a life lesson - they come in all varieties and they learn how to handle this stuff when they're growing up with mom & dad's guidance.

1 mom found this helpful

i think it's rude to leave the first party so early. The parents still have to pay for the full amount of time for each child, plus it's like they aren;t important enough or the party isn't fun enough. Pick one and that's it.

1 mom found this helpful

I'd just have her pick one or the other, as long as the invitations arrived at the same time. If I were the Mom hosting, I would rather have kids politely decline than leaving half way through my child's party to go to a different classmates party. It puts a lot of pressure on the parent's of the kids having the first birthday party to get through the activities quickly so the kids who have to leave early can do them. Inevitabley, they will arrive late, having missed or holding up some of 2nd party activities, maybe already having had cake and treats, etc. Plus you know young kids are going to talk and compare what they just did, or where they are going to next. Too awkward. No, I understand wanting to please everyone. But I think it is much better to just attend one party.

1 mom found this helpful

I think she should just go to the party of the child she is closer with. You can get a present for the other child and maybe she can give it to her at school on the next school day.
However, if you really want to be fair to both kids... allow her to attend the first party until 1:15 then attend the other party from whatever time you get there until 3. You can call both parents in advance and let them know your plans. I have had kids to leave early or arrive late many times. But if I had that phone call to let me know that would be happening beforehand it wouldn't seem as rude.
=)

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