Invitation to Girls Night Out- Who Pays?

If it is just a GNO then everyone pays there own and EVERYONE just divides the bill with the bride included - If it is something you are hosting - then usually you would pay. Depend on what you are having - a bridal party - the host usually pays - do you have anyone that could help you?? Maybe a couple of other host.

Because the dinner is not for me I would be expecting to cover my own meal but that's just me. I would say something like you are invited to join Angela and me to dinner;because this is Angela's bachelorette dinner I will be covering Angela's dinner. Please let me know if you can't make it. I'm sure that because of everyone's economic situation people will understand.

A girls' night out, to me, is when we all talk on the phone or email and plan to get together - with everyone paying their own way.

If I send an invitation, even just an evite, it becomes more formal, and I would think of that as a party I'm hosting. So I would probably word it to let everyone know we'll all go "Dutch" and you'll cover the bride. I wouldn't be surprised if your friends ask if they can help with the cost of the bride's meal, drinks, etc. But I do think I'd find a way to let them know each person is financially responsible for themselves, or they may feel misled to receive an invitation (which implies you are hosting the event) and then find they are expected to pay for themselves.

By the way, I think it is perfectly fine to send out the evite and not pay for everyone, so I hope I'm not sounding otherwise. And probably everyone will assume they pay for themselves, but just in case....I think I would specify!!

Have fun with your friends and the bride-to-be!

I might be a little different but if I ever invite anyone for girls night or whatever, I expect to cover the entire bill.

If I am invited to an outing...I would assume that the hostess would be paying but I would be prepared to cover myself just in case.

Not sure how to put the wording that this is for the bride and you are taking care of her meal. I do believe that if you expect your guests to pay for themselves...it needs to be clear because some of them might not have something like that in a budget.

I would check with the restaurant and make sure that they will do separate checks with large parties. If it is all on one check it is such a pain for each person to figure out what they owe. If the bill is split evenly 20 ways, those who don't drink cocktails will feel they are paying more than their share. I would want it to be clear if I was paying my own way. (and wouldn't mind at all) Then there are no tensions and all you have to do is have fun!

I always expect to pay for myself, and I would also be prepared to possibly chip in for the bride's meal. I think what Tammy recommended would be a great way to word it on the evite, but not directly say "you have to pay for yourself"! T.

Maybe by wording it in a way that they will feel as though they are a part of the planning.....? Instead of wording it as a formal invitation, maybe you can say something like: "would you like to help me surprise (***) with a girls night out at ***?" I like the idea of adding the average menu prices. Maybe even add something asking them to please join us for a drink even if you're not hungry because (***) it would really mean a lot to have you there!

As soon as they see the part in there about the prices, they will definitely know.

Sometimes, it's easier to call in person to give the details and then follow-up with the e-vite as a reminder. When you talk to them about it, ask them what they think of the price range of that particular restaurant.

Just put something like going Dutch, except the bride.

I agree that this can be sticky, given the situation. I've been to a couple of bridal showers at restaurants, where everything was covered--i.e., the bridesmaids and sometimes the bride's mom covered everyone's meal. I've also been to bachelorette parties where we all knew in advance we were splitting it--sometimes more casually, being told "we'll all meet here and go from there," with the implication being that we each pay for what we do (restaurant, bars, clubs, whatever), and sometimes being told explicitly "everybody pitch in $60 bucks to cover yourself and pitch in for the bride." I understand not wanting to be rude mentioning money, but I do think it's better to be upfront. I didn't at all mind paying in those situations where I did, but it's definitely good to know in advance, both so I had the cash on hand, and so, when necessary, I could budget in advance. I think you're better off being clear at the beginning, than having an awkward situation on the night of. GL and have fun!

Just wanted to throw another idea out there for you. I work for SUrprise Parties we do parties for women. I present lotion oils candles lingerie things that go bump in the night. I have done plenty of bachorlorette parties and evryones usually buys something for the bride or give her the hostess credit. if interested please check out my webpage jeannineeverett.surpriseparties.com

Call the restaurant and find the price range for dinner. Send an e-mail worded along the lines of: Dinner ranges from $10.00-$20.00 per person, excluding beverages. For your convenience they do accept Visa, MC, Debit cards and cash. ***something along these lines should work. If I were you, I would bring a little extra money just in case.

You can also add - You take care of you and I'll take care of the brides expenses or I will cover the brides expenses. Something light should work.

Good luck and enjoy.

I know you've already put your update up, but I just wanted to say that I think the way you worded it is PERFECT!! Very diplomatic! Have a great time!!!!

M.,
I would think I was covering for myself. I have seen the situation handled at the restaurant with the waiter/waitress gracefully but not sure how to handle it with your invitations. I hope others posted a solution. You guys have fun on your night out.
C.

Just want to read the posts. I think you got a l ot of good advice. I would say something so no one thinks you are paying. I think most just assume they would be paying for themselves, but it never hurts to be perfectly clear.

Be crystal clear where money is concerned. Our policy is never do business with friends family. When you throw money in the mix without clarity someone is bound to be offended. Avoid it by being crystal clear. With you info I can see some ambiguity in it all. I like the one response which suggests getting help. Perhaps a pre-e vite asking if anyone is interested in contributing OR if you are not comfortable with that, which I would not be, be very specific. We learned that rule from my husbands father when we go against it we regret it unless we have crossed our t's and dotted our i's. Good luck and enjoy your night.

i would always assume i'm going to pay for myself regardless of who does the inviting. you could always say something cute like "the brides dinner is on me but the rest of you are on your own :)" since these women are your friends no one will be offended or probably even care that they are paying for dinner. have fun!

Thanks for the update - I really like the wording you used - I'll use that next time I'm in the situation

I always assume I'm paying for myself when I go out with friends, and I never specify when I organized a night out. I don't think you need to put it on the invite, and you'll probably have others help out with the bride's drinks, and maybe even the meal. Have fun!

Dear M.,

First let me say that I absolutely HATE the separate check idea. As a professional I can't tell you how many times I use to go out with a group of (usually) women and have people bickering over who had this or that. It was frustrating and embarrasing. So I came up with a plan that has worked well for years. It requires some organization, but you seem to be on top of that.

When you are expecting participants to pay for their own meal and/or share the cost of the guest of honor’s meal, there is NOTHING inappropriate in being crystal clear, if fact it will be appreciated. It also helps if you can plan the menu ahead, get the restaurant to give you a price per person including tax and tip. Give people a choice of meat, fish, chicken, vegetarian etc, (dinner should include soup or salad, coffee/tea and dessert). If you wish to include wine (1 bottle per 4 guests), make it clear.

EXAMPLE:

Event: Dinner With Jennifer

Where: Frankie and Johnnies
1111 Main St.
Ourtown, USA

Phone: ###-###-#### (Restaurent phone - incase someone gets lost or can't attend at last minute)

Date: Feb 14, 2009

Cocktails: No Host Drinks at 7:30 PM

Dinner: 8:00 PM (Cost Per Person - $42.00
price covers dinner, wine, tax/tip and Jennifer’s dinner)

Ladies, Please pay separately for any additional alcoholic beverages.
(Make sure your waiter knows the game plan)

RSVP: M. D. - ###-###-#### by this date _______

I have been asked this question many times. Your little problem was actually a forward from someone whom was in your same situation just a couple months ago. First of all, Congratulations to your Best Friend! Second of all, I may have a solution to your problem. While I can agree that some people may feel it is rude to ask that they pay for their own food when they are being invited to join you, you need to relax and take a breath. Instead of taking the whole gang out to dinner, it would be a lot easier for you to take the Bride To Be out for a quiet dinner on your own and plan a Ladies Night Inn either at your house or even a hotel room you rented just for the evening (to save on mess) First of all, the ladies that didn't get to join you would feel like they are part of the surprise not just a part of an uneasy issue (asking them to pay)... all you would need is some chips dip, and soda (which her friends would LOVE to bring because they are helping with a surprise party... everyone can bring a covered dish and leave nothing but the bride's dinner to you)... okay, so what about the fun part??? I am a Passion Consultant. I come out and do parties for Free. My parties are tasteful, fun, and educational. Your ladies will laugh, joke, taste, smell, and touch the products and instead of throwing money down a G string of a stripper, they can use their money on creating some passion of their own... your best friend will love being treated to a quiet dinner from her best friend before her big day and then having the surprise of all the ladies there for her and everyone will still have fun at a bacholorette party while you can relax and not have to worry about asking them to pay for their own food. The trick is to make it about the Bride and ask for very little and everything will just fall into place with very little effort or worry from your end. I can help you with everything. My phone number is ###-###-#### and you can check out my website www.SarasSeuductiveSecrets.com

Take it easy... planning a party isn't about getting tense, it's about having fun. You can do it! I will help!

hi M., i am a 70 year old mother of five grown children, and i also have grand children and great grandchildren. i would suggest that you ask them to go dutch. that's what we used to call it. when we went out with our friends. i don't think they would mind if they are good friend's.that's just a suggestion. have fun and congradulations.