"The Art of Extreme Self-Care" by Cheryl Richardson is a must have for every woman especially if you are in a major transition in your life. I have found that self-care: boundaries, saying no, taking time for self, and focusing on healing your past, are the most essential things you can do in times of crisis. There are tons of great books out there that cover all of those subjects and I recommend you go to a library or book store and browse through to find the ones that support you best.
The most important thing I have learned since my divorce is taking 100% responsibility. I believe that we create our own reality out of our belief systems (both conscious and unsconcious). I let go of blaming anyone or anything else, turned inward to explore what I was really believing about myself and the world, and started to question those beliefs. There has been tremendous freedom for me in letting go of blame and embracing awareness.
As for being single. I learned to be okay with being alone. I found that my obsessing about finding someone new always showed up when I was feeling needy and the viscious voice in my head was telling me ugly stuff about myself. I have chosen to become aware of what that voice has been saying without getting hooked in. I have also chosen to heal myself before jumping into a new relationship. I do not want to repeat old patterns. Time has become my friend. When I feel needy I turn to self-care and resource myself rather than dwelling on finding someone else to make me feel better. A couple of good books for looking at dating are "Conscious Dating" by David Steele and "Conscious Loving" by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks.
