Inheritance

Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

4 moms found this helpful

I kind of laughed when I read this, because of what my mom did with an inheritance. She let my dad tell her what to do with the store and house my mom inherited right after they had their first child. She wanted to sell it - he wanted to work the store and fix up the house. It was all a disaster from the get-go. Dad hired a guy to manage the store, and he closed it and went off on vacation instead. The state took the property through imminent domain during the month the guy "took vacation", and all the money my folks spent to fix it up was gone. The little the state gave them was nothing compared to what they paid out. My poor mom.

About 6 years ago, she finally sold some property (for nothing, really) so that she wouldn't have to continue paying property taxes. My dad asked what they were going to do with the money. She said "WE aren't going to do anything with the money. On the other hand, I am going to do what I want with the money." Bully for her!!!

I don't know if this helps you at all, but I'm enjoying remembering it for my mom's sake!

D.

3 moms found this helpful

I would put the hubby or kids as beneficiary, but the $ currently in my own name. I would inform the hubby how I was using it.. but thats me, I dont need him pulling up in a brand new ferrari saying "but honey whats mine is yours and vice versa" :)

3 moms found this helpful

Well, we are partners....so yeah - he would be included.

If you don't trust him with the finances, then no. But if you don't trust him with the finances then you have bigger problems than what we can help you with on here!! :)

If I didn't let him know I inherited the money - it would be lying in my book.

If it's a large enough sum to invest - then yes - I'd want his input on the vehicles used to invest the money.

But it all goes back to trust. If you can't "share" this with him or trust him with the money - then you have problems I can't help you with.

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Why wouldn't you? Unless there are trust issues there is no reason to keep this from your husband.

The only time ownership of the money comes into play is in divorce. It is not considered marital property. Be warned as you commingle the money in household expenses, vacations, stuff for the kids it becomes marital property. You in the eyes of the law gifted it to your family. I do know this as a fact, my ex tried to get the house claiming the equity in it was his inheritance. I produced a spreadsheet showing how equity was pulled out to pay for things other than the house. I also pulled in my own trust fund and such. In the end in 18 years everything had become marital.

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My husband and I have actually discussed this question. He states that if and when I have an inheritance from my side of the family, he does not want to have any thing from it. He would rather set up an account for me and I can deal with it myself. I would set it up so that my son would be the beneficiary if something were to happen to me. I don't think we would have it any other way. My side of the family is very particular, as well as very protective of things, and have accused other members significant others of just wanting their money, so , we'd rather not deal with that situation. Of course, I would include my husband on how I would invest the money, and how much I inherited. I am terrible with money, and I definetly would want my husband involved.

2 moms found this helpful

No but I would make them a beneficiary. And after learning the hard way no, I wouldn't let them know how much I inherited unless it was clearly something that had to go on taxes and they were responsible. Then of course they should be co-owners since they are co paying my taxes. However I have seen enough (and my own case no matter how much love there is ...money means something different for everyone) and in the case of let's say some people in my family and some friends I know, they are not always savers or the money is given to their relatives (while i scrimp and save).Relatives who think working is inhumane.So it means some of that inheritance won't quite make it long enough to stay in a bank account. OH that sounded soo nice.

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I was in this situation. I gave it to my husband to invest for us, since he's always done the investing and it wasn't handled the way I would have done it. We lost it all. In retrospect, I would have paid off our mortgage, and invested the balance in something that I was proactive in.

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We've been married for going on 23 years, so any money that comes in through either of us is for both of us.
A large sum of money would help us pay off our mortgage or go towards our son's college fund.

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keep it seperate. i would get a brand new accout. i would blame it on whoever gave it to me. my husband will inherit a lot and it is going to be seperate. their will even says it.

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Yes, I would let him know and it would be "our" money.

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Since husband and I are older and the chance of getting divorced is slim to none I would consider it OUR money. But there is nothing wrong with being "safe" with it if you feel that you need to be. Money changes everything and makes people do weird stuff. Might be good to put it into some kind of an account of your own with spouse as beneficiary or your kids as beneficiary.

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I would make my trust the beneficiary as all of the rest of our/my assets are. The trust is set up so that if I die, a lump sum is available to my husband for immediate expenses but the rest is to be managed by someone else and disbursed as needed. This is because he is terrible with money and would, with the best of intentions, do something stupid and lose it all.

While I'm alive, I would leave the money in my name and invest it as I see fit, but I am a prudent money manager and handle all of our finances. It would tick me off if my husband got an inheritance and didn't involve me in the decision making around it, but that's because I know that he would blow it, not because I think I'm "entitled" to it.

2 moms found this helpful

I would think it should be for both since you will have to claim it on your taxes. Since most married couples file taxes jointly it's only fair to share it.

2 moms found this helpful

It really depends on your relationship for one thing and your situation for another. Does your spouse handle money well or not? If he's a spender and would blow it and you need it or want to use it wisely then maybe I wouldn't be so quick to consider it his too. I don't think it's necessarily wrong to treat it as your own. It would seem the "right" thing would be to share it or consider it as part of the funds for the household and include him in decisions about it's use or investments but not always. As much as there seems like a morally cut and dry answer for this, I say it really depends on the track record you have concerning money with your spouse. If you just want to keep it for yourself for selfish reasons, well that's another story. Try to be wise, you may never get a large sum again.

2 moms found this helpful

We only have "our" money...so no more than my husband's paycheck is "his" then no more would an inheritance would be "mine".

I guess it depends on your marriage but with us it would be our money and we would decide how best to invest it or use it as needed.

There is only one situation where inheritance could come through the family and stay "mine" and that is oil and mineral rights passed on my side of the family. Previous wills and trusts state it is mine and then should be willed to my offspring. However any money that comes from the rights would be mine and my husband's to do with as we chose together.

However I think most women know their spouses and if they are money trust worthy. I have friends who's husbands handle all the finances and would go buy large items without consulting them...if this were the case...then I might consider a separate account.

2 moms found this helpful

I think it depends upon your relationship with your spouse. You asked what I would do. Well, what I would do is: it would go into the same pot as the rest of our money. We would treat it like any other money that came into our household (which, at this point in our lives, is all from my husband's employment, since I am a SAHM).

Would I suggest that is the best way for someone else to handle it? Not necessarily. But for me and MY husband, it would be "our" money.

2 moms found this helpful

My husband and I have been together so long, (since we were 16) that we really worked our way up from scratch. Everything we have in this life we got together so an inheritance would be no different. It would funnel into our joint account and we'd discuss how to deal with it. Pay off some revolving debt we accrued during the year he was unemployed, put some in high interest accounts, fix the fence that's falling down in the yard, get new windows for our drafty house and finally go on that honeymoon we've been putting off since 2003...

1 mom found this helpful

I would share it with him as our money is our money. I would tell him as honesty is so important. It would not matter to me how long we were married as I feel you need to treat a marriage as a life commitment or it won't be. I have been married happily married for 14 years.

1 mom found this helpful

In my marriage, my husband and I own and share everything equally. We are an 'us.' We do have separate bank accounts, and decide independently how we'll use or save our own funds, but each co-signs on the other's accounts.

But I think it might depend on the particular marriage. In my first marriage, my ex would have insisted the inheritance should belong to us both, but he would have spent or invested it according to his own interests.

1 mom found this helpful

When it comes to inheritance, the person who is the beneficent of the inheritance should not and does not have to share with their spouse. Those are untouchable monies by the other spouse because they're not wages earned between the couple and they're given with intent by the decedent to belong in their entirety to the beneficent. If I ever have enough money to leave my children a significant amount, I'll be certain to indicate that they're to put it into their own accounts with only their names on the account and the money is intended to be only for them and not their spouses.

Spouses can give input, but the beneficent makes the final say.

1 mom found this helpful

For us, it would be put in the shared bank accounts and be our money. My husband works and provides all the money for our family, and I certainly have free access to that so he would have access to any money I brought in.

I don't think it depends so much on how long you have been married, but more on how you manange the money in your home.

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My husband would be included because we're partners in everything.

1 mom found this helpful

It is "our" money, as we are married, and what's mine is his and what's his is mine.

1 mom found this helpful

Yes, I would share it all with my husband. We are equal partners in our marriage. I would expect him to share it with me if roles were reversed. By share, I mean we would decide together what to do with it. :)

1 mom found this helpful

It would matter in taxes. I would definitely gift 30,000 to my husband as that would be tax free (you can do a one time giftof 30,000 dollars and have it be tax free) , keep how ever much was tax free and then start a trust with the rest and hopefully live off the proceeds for life (the trust would have the beneficiary as me, but hubby would be able to sign off on it...)

When my brother gave me a bit of money when my mom died I gave him a chunk for blow money, no accounting of it what so ever, it was his to blow on bubble gum if he wanted. I also took the same amount. Then we spent the rest on stuff we needed and some of the things we were wanting for a long time. It was a lot of fun.

I think both deserve to have a bit, ours was 10% each.

It depends on you and the marriage that you share. If you've been married for years and he's taken care of you and the children and the relationship has been a loving and respectful one, share. If not and you are "working" on makeing it better, you wait. You could always give him the money for fixing the car or whatever he needs..Don't ever "hold over his head" what he has and what you have. Good luck.J. from Elk Grove Village, Il

It depends on how the money is handled. For example, money from a retirement account may become an inheritance IRA and you could just make the spouse the beneficiary.

For most of our accounts, my DH and I are both on them. But not the IRA.

For me, it also depends on how much. If it's not a huge sum (like a million dollars) then it's mine to spend. We have his/hers/ours so I consider the IRA 'hers'.

My husband received a large inheritance last year when his mom passed and he set up an account for it and I am the beneficiary.

It depends on your relationship and how you generally handle your finances. Do you have joint accounts or seperate? Depending the about you probably should talk it over and then invest it for kids school, retirement and travel. Money can make people crazy. Some lke to save it and others like to spend it because it is there.

I am sorry to hear about your love one.

Take care
J.

nope my money....told him how much and asked for his input on what to do with $...then did what I wanted....still control it...account is just in my name.

I would put your kids as beneficiaries.

The inheritance is to the person who received it separately. Period.

If that person wishes to "give" the spouse something than nice but it is not necessary. Too many times spouses feel "obligated" to give their mate something. I don't maybe because as one poster said the other has huge ideas with the money that didn't belong to him on how to spend it.

Put in a separate account with your name on it and let it set. If you have to have a beneficiary on it, put your kids on it and he as the guardian. Make it your personal nest egg so that you can go on a trip. Remember once it is gone it is gone and if you don't buy something that is tangible it wasn't worth receiving the money.

I would never let them know the exact amount because then they really would want to "spend" the money for you. Put it in your will how you would like to have it divided but keep his hands off of it. The economy is too shaky right now to be spending on anything large.

The other S.

PS I received a sizeable inheritance from an aunt and it was in my name and my husband didn't "bug" me about the money because he knew it was mine. I did things with it for all but I also bought an expensive grandfather clock (tangible item) that I could remember my aunt by that my daughter will get some day.

It depends. If it were an amount that would pay off my debts, there would be no sharing. But since he really wants me to pay off my debts, we would be able to share the money that I'm saving by being debt free. Then the arguments and negotions would ensue! LOL

If it were more than what I need to pay off the debts, I'd split it down the middle. That's ordinarily what we do with money that comes our way. That is, if there's ever anything left after we do the biggest project that's needing done. Seems like God always sends us what we need for the broken...fill in the blank.