Information on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

We've been Foster Parents since 2003. Our first child was FAS. He had other problems as well. Not sure if it was all caused by the alcohol or just parts of his issues. Not sure how much was genetic in his family. He had numerous issues. He had around 8-10 Dr.'s I finally made a special list with all their numbers, address, names etc... and that helped so much to have a sheet handy when someone asked for his Dr.'s name and number, I could get it. He was overall weak all over his body. He was seen in the Muscular Dystrophy clinic, however he didn't have muscular dystrophy. He had another disorder however it is difficult to spell. He had a biopsy of his muscle and he had low tone muscle. He required physical, speech and occupational therapy. He was 5 when when we got him and 6 when he left our house. He was neglected medically/physically by a family member. We got him into the Child Study Center and they were great with him. We had no children at the time and we dedicated all our time with him and to helping him. When we first got him, we couldn't understand a word he had said to us. He was way behind the other kids. He started out in a PPCD class, however he wasn't in there but 6 months, then they transitioned him out to a regular classroom. It took a lot, lot, lot of patience, work and guidance with him. Therapy had exercises for us to do at home. We did everything the therapists told us to do and boy did he improve. After one year, he talked pretty normal except for a few words, could a ride a bike (where before he couldn't),walk up steps with no problem,run, do normal things like other kids. His eyes were far apart from one another, that is one physical sign of FAS and thin lips also. He's the only child we have had that was a true FAS case.

He had eye problems, he had a lazy eye and had surgery to correct it and needed drops for it also. Each child is different and it affects them different. The child you are considering may have some of the same issues or maybe different ones.

Our foster child had difficulty writing his name and following simple directions and attention issues as well. He had ADHD and was on medication for that. We got hm play therapy and that seemed to help him.

Kids with special needs tend to get picked on. That's what are experience was with our foster child in school and sports. He was different and the kids picked on him. Your child will need more guidance on things like this and need you to advocate for him/her. Our child made friends easily, however a lot of kids made fun of him, cause of his speech problems, he sounded different than the rest of the kids.

I would highly recommend the Child Study Center to help you if you do decide to take the child with FAS. They are great and can give you some information on it. There you can see Dr.'s and get an evaluation and ask questions and get therapy if needed.

I may have some literature on it, I'll have to look in my files for it. I'll let you know if I find any more information. If you have any more questions, let me know. It was very rewarding to advocate and work with our foster child on a daily basis and see all the growth and changes that happened. He changed so much over 1 year time and met goals/challenges and worked so hard to help himself improve. We were so proud of him and all his accomplishments!

Hi D. years ago I provided therapy to emotionally and mentally impaired children in the city of Detroit. Two of the children on my case load suffered from FAS. I do believe children are miss diagnosed all the time however FAS has some farely distant facial features such as a wider seperation between their eyes than normal and a rather small head. It was interesting both of children I worked with had difficulty controling their impulses, following directions due to inability to retain information and boundary issues with others. If your willing to set vary structured boundaries and rules then I believe the child can strive. As long as you are aware as caretaker that you may constantly repeat yourself to the child and she may actually never be able to process the information due to her learning disablities. Otherwise both of the children I worked with were vary loving and did make some progress but not significant.

First off let me say that " She will be one lucky little girl"FAS can range from Mild to severe. I have a daughter with Cru Da Chat syndrome and she is 30, I have taught various classes to the high school kids about birth deffects and disabilities. Most of all children need to be loved and to feel secure . The young girl I know who has FAS, is a very bright young lady, it affected her mostly in her motor skills. she is kinda akward in her movements, and her facial features are classic of FAS. I would suggest that you find a good backup support system, such as THE ARC or the local MHMR, remember that schooling will be a trip all it's own. So be prepared to fight for what ever she needs (ie). therapy, speech therapy,and whatever she is entitled to by law...Mostly like I said" she will be one lucky little girl that someone was willing to share their love and home with". The young lady that I know interacted with her family and friends with no problems, and did well in school. I know there are horror stories out there I just haven't ever been part of one.

One of the families in a daycare I used to work at had 3 kids who had FAS. I don't know much about the older one, but the 2 younger ones were in my class. They both had very low muscle tone and were very short for their ages. They had speech and learning delays. The youngest one was very difficult to understand when he did speak. The oldest one was later diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (a form of Autism), but I'm not sure if that was related. The adoptive mom left her job to be a SAHM, so I don't know of details about the Asperger's or the cause of it. The family was blended, with 3 biological and 3 adopted children. The parents took in the adopted kids as their own.

I think it is a wonderful thing you are considering! You have an opportunity to bless this child with a loving home! A lot of people wouldn't even consider taking on a child who might have some challenges. In my opinion, it's those children who need someone the most, b/c they are so often overlooked.

Be aware that if you are adopting through CPS you can include ongoing medical coverage through medicaid in your paperwork - but you have to get it agreed to before the adoption is complete.

No one can really give you a prognosis on a two year old - even with FAS, which is pretty distinctive in its facial features, but occurs in a spectrum of severity. How does she act NOW? Cognitively / Physically - how close is she to the norm?

My baby (now 2) had a diagnosis for hypotonia at 14 months and PDD - NOS by the time he was 18 months old. Experts did not expect him to walk unassisted (or at all) and were concerned that he would not interact with people. I used the state program for OT, but the rest of it our family handled on our own. My two and a half year old (that same baby) beat me to the top of a very tall slide Saturday and went over the edge - breaking his collar bone. He flirted with every nurse in the ER, before giving his mean face to the doctor who touched his owie and telling him that hurt.

No doubt, you will face some challenging years - between therapy, boundaries, and possibly with special ed. You face some pretty exhilarating moments, too though... with any child.

S.

D.
I have a niece and a nephew who both have been diagnosed with FAS. They are 20 and 18. They both have had alot of issues through out life but they have been a great joy in our lives.
They both have ear trouble and speech problems. They also have siezures. My niece is only 4ft 11in and is as sassy as sassy can be. My nephew is almost 6ft and is as skinny as a pole.
In our family we have several children/young adults with special needs so we have a rule that they are not treated any different then the "normal" kids. If someone climbed a tree and a child with issues wanted to climb then we all helped them both climb. What we would do for one we did for all.
Yes there are somethings that you need to treat a little different but if you don't make a big issue of it then your daughter and the other little one will just think that it is normal and go on with life.
Never tell her that she can't do something because of her FAS but encourage her to do all things that she wants to do. If there is something that she can't do encourage her to do other things.
My niece is looking for a job now. We are helping her to find something that she likes. My nephew is a "sophmore" in high school and can tell you anything you want to know about fish, solar system and engines.
They can live a normal live with assistance.
You will love having her she can be the biggest joy in your life as well as the biggest heartache, but what child isn't.
Enjoy her but be ready for the doctor visits.
D.

You obviously have a kind and loving heart. Unfortunately, love is not enough. Along with FAS you need to research RAD - Reactive Attachment Disorder which will most likely accompany the FAS, but won't be diagnosed until you are having severe bahavioral problems. When a child looses its "bond" to the natural parent, their mental and emotional development is dramatically affected. You already know that alcohol was involved, so you can presume there wasn't good bonding to start with. The separation that occurs with adoption is another "loss" for the child. This is very difficult to overcome and requires full-time, both hands on the wheel attention. I can't imagine taking on that kind of committment as a single parent. You will need all the time and support you can possibly get.

We adopted three kids with FAS and discovered severe RAD issues in all of them. One is now in a correctional facility and we fear for our safety from the other son. My daughter is doing quite well.

Put your emotions aside and do some serious research before you act. I wish you and the girls well.

The movie that Janet was talking about I believe was the one that Jimmy Smits was in. That was a situation that he was not even told the child has FAS and it was a very, very severe case of FAS, so I would not base my decision on that case, I don't know that it was typical.

You have gotten some great advice and while I don't have a child with FAS, I did quite a bit of research on it several years ago. One of the problems with FAS that I think maybe people don't connect the dots is that it is a spectrum and it is also the environment.

Many FAS kids do not have the benefit of getting into a good loving home at an age young enough that the proper attachments will form, and that is huge irregardless of special needs and with this disorder in particular. You should make sure you request all medical records before adopting the child (these are not necessarily offered up in their entirety) so you know the extent of the alcohol use as well as any potential drug use.

This is important for medical issues later on as well as how you handle things. As others have noted, at this age, the degree that cognitive functioning and behavioral problems may arise later are impossible to determine at this age and level of development.

Also, you may be dealing with multiple issues, such as a parent that was self-medicating for ADD/ADHD and passing that disorder on to the child as well (alcoholism is very prevalent among people that were untreated for ADD/ADHD). Impulse control could be related to FAS as much as to some other type of problem.

As in all other cases, information is always your friend, networking and making sure you investigate all resources available through the school system, etc. With the school systems, they often have resources they are obligated through federal law to provide but parents do not know this unless they stay on the schools.

Good luck and bless you for not turning around and running the other direction because most people are familiar with the FAS nightmare stories and don't consider that it doesn't have to be that way if the child gets love and care early.

I have read stories and saw a film about people adopting or having a child and the effects aren't the same in all, as one may have no since of knowing somehing is wrong and steal and not know that is wrong, But the one that was in the film the boy had to be told each and everything, one night the father noticed a leak in the ceiling and found out the boy had left the sink on up stairs. he ask the boy why he had not turned off the water after brushing his teeth, and innocent answer was you didn't tell me I was supposed to. This was just an example, and the guy had adopted him as a baby, so naturally loved him, but didn't know of the problems and said he wouldn't of adopted if he had known all that was involved. Don't know if this well help your decision, but it seems to me if you have a child like this it will take your full time mothering, and your children may get very neglected. but of course you are the only one that can make that decision .

Hi D., My wife and I have experience with this as we have had several Fetal Alchol Syndrome babies over the years as we are foster parents and have been since 1991. Our first one was a week old when we got him and we found out that he was allergic to normal milk and had to put him on soya milk and we also found out that he couldn't eat some foods as he couldn't take natural sugar in them. He was a very loving and energetic little fellow also very bright and was very out going and loved life. We currently have a just turned 11 year old girl and had her from birth to 6 months and she went to another placement and after 3 years it fell apart and we've had her since. She is very energetic and very bright in some ways and is very musical, but has trouble with math, but is fine with english and spelling. There are times when she gets very violent and hits out at the other kids. We have her in a private school and they are putting her in learning support to help with her learning difficulties and we have all of the kids in the same school. We currently have 7 foster kids ages from 5 to 15 and the 2 older girls will be 16 soon one in Oct and the other in Nov. I'm orginially from this area and have been in Australia since 1972. I have 2 brothers that still live in the Denton area and a cousin that put me on to this site and I enjoy reading of the problems that Moms have and there is a lot I don't know about the problems, but I can with this one because of our experience. I'm not sure if you are going to foster this child or if you are going to be close friends with her. All kids are different and you will have to wait and see and I wish you all the best in this as there are a lot of things that can and will happen and you have to take these as they come up. Ed my email address is ____@____.com if you would like more information.

I just attended a workshop on FAS last week! Please contact your local Education Service Center (ESC) and they will have a person on staff that will be able to get you more resources that you knew existed! Here in Abilene it is Region 14 ESC. You can go to their website and call to get the number of the one in your area if you are not here. (www.esc14.net) The lady who did my training was out of Lubbock, and has raised her own FAS child to the age of 19 so far, and her organization does family training and screening for FAS children. Her name is Denese Thetford ###-###-#### x280 her website is www.beafamily.org Hope some of this information helps! Good luck and God bless you. I have taught kindergarten for 16 years and have worked with many of these children over the years. They can be a bit challenging but are oh so precious!

Hey D. -
I know everyone is telling you to be careful and do your investigations. I don't have a child with FAS, but my son had/has sensory integration disorder and he had to receive occupational therapy and physical therapy for a while. He was very mild in his condition, but to start out with, he had therapy two hours a week (twice a week, one hour sessions). I work full time and had to leave work to take him to therapy. While at the therapist, I sat in the lobby with a woman who had adopted three children with FAS. Each of those children had very distinctive problems (speech, and they needed occupational therapy). Even though people are telling you that the children may have problems, what this boils down to is HOURS in therapy sessions. Are you prepared for that? What will you do with your daughter while you are at the therapist? Where I took my son, they preferred the parents to NOT leave while they were in session, so I just sat in the lobby while he did therapy. You also need to have a clear understanding of how much the State is going to cover on medical expenses. I think these children had Medicaid. But, the reality is, this child you are talking about probably will need more medical care and you need to make sure you are prepared for that.

Keep in mind, these three kids were super adorable. I loved seeing them every week and they were so sweet and cute. But, I know that mom had to be worn out.

Oh, I just saw that you are a single mom. I am a single mom as well. I have a 5 year old boy and a baby. Seriously, it is a LOT harder with two kids. I know people will tell you that and it is hard to imagine that it is because you think you will just do the same thing for both of them. But, it is really hard to watch and do all the right things for two kids - especially considering if one has problems that need to be taken care of. Right now, it doesn't appear that my daughter will have the sensory problems that my son had and I thank god for that, because the therapy and dealing with the issues was very draining. I don't know if I could do it again and give justice to my son.

-L.

I grew up with a step-brother who has FAS - his biological mother drank mostly socially while she was pregnant - his biological father & my mother married when he was two years old. My mom stayed home with all of us from that time forward. From years of being around him & being raised with him (he is now 22 years old), I will tell you that I have always seen the biggest challenge to parenting a child with FAS is their diminished ability to exhibit impulse control. Several people mentioned that there is a spectrum of FAS - from only slightly effected to greatly effected - and this is correct. But I believe that for the most part, all children with FAS have impulsve control issues (some more than others obviously). In my little brother, this ranged from stealing to lieing to having angry outburts and a big variety of other behaviors that were often hard to deal with - from both a parent's point of view as well as a sibling's point of view. It takes a LOT of time and dedication to raise a child with FAS to become a successful adult - I'm not saying it is impossible - but VERY difficult. I can imagine being a single parent would make it that much more difficult. However, God has a plan and I am certain that He has some answers for you. So say a prayer and wait for His answer - it's always the right one! =) Feel free to contact me - I would be more than happy to share more with you - I can't remember if you can access my email address on mamasource or not so here it is - ____@____.com - God bless!

What a WONDERFUL thing you are doing. :o)

Just be patient and continue to love her like you already do. Pray for her every chance that you can. <><

The effects will become less as time goes on, but there is usually permanent damage (brain malformations). Use the time you have with her (while young) to help her develop the neurons in her brain. Do a VARIETY of activities with the girls and this should help.

If you have the chance to have her evaluated by therapists (OT, PT, Speech) do it. Or even just talk to each of these for some ideas on activities. Get them active: crawl, run, jump, use scissors, crayons, glue, stick stickers to paper, trace large shapes with crayons. (I used to teach preschool and these are EXCELLENT things for your girls to be doing anyway).

I'm sure you and your daughter have a favorite book. Be sure to still spend that special time with her (alone) so she does not resent the new "intruder"/friend.

Keep the faith! :o)

Blessings,

P. <><

You should really think hard and long about bringing a child with FAS into your home. You will need the paitence of a Saint and the will power to continue long after you don't think you can anymore. We raised a niece with this and all of our children have paid dearly for it. Not only is there an emotional drama accuring all the time Lieng and stealing are very comon in these children. Your three year old may love this child now. But she and you must be prepared for the attention this child will demand of you. We are now raising the after adulthood affect of FAS. We have three of her four children living in our home she has had 7 pregnancies and she is now only 25 years old. Her oldest child is the product of FAS. We are now back in the time when you hope and pray that others won't think less of you because your child has no control of their emotional and behavioral state. As I stated before please pray about this before you take such a big step. These children really struggle when placed with other children that they have to share there life with. Our felt as if we never loved her enough. God Bless