Information on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

You should really think hard and long about bringing a child with FAS into your home. You will need the paitence of a Saint and the will power to continue long after you don't think you can anymore. We raised a niece with this and all of our children have paid dearly for it. Not only is there an emotional drama accuring all the time Lieng and stealing are very comon in these children. Your three year old may love this child now. But she and you must be prepared for the attention this child will demand of you. We are now raising the after adulthood affect of FAS. We have three of her four children living in our home she has had 7 pregnancies and she is now only 25 years old. Her oldest child is the product of FAS. We are now back in the time when you hope and pray that others won't think less of you because your child has no control of their emotional and behavioral state. As I stated before please pray about this before you take such a big step. These children really struggle when placed with other children that they have to share there life with. Our felt as if we never loved her enough. God Bless

I grew up with a step-brother who has FAS - his biological mother drank mostly socially while she was pregnant - his biological father & my mother married when he was two years old. My mom stayed home with all of us from that time forward. From years of being around him & being raised with him (he is now 22 years old), I will tell you that I have always seen the biggest challenge to parenting a child with FAS is their diminished ability to exhibit impulse control. Several people mentioned that there is a spectrum of FAS - from only slightly effected to greatly effected - and this is correct. But I believe that for the most part, all children with FAS have impulsve control issues (some more than others obviously). In my little brother, this ranged from stealing to lieing to having angry outburts and a big variety of other behaviors that were often hard to deal with - from both a parent's point of view as well as a sibling's point of view. It takes a LOT of time and dedication to raise a child with FAS to become a successful adult - I'm not saying it is impossible - but VERY difficult. I can imagine being a single parent would make it that much more difficult. However, God has a plan and I am certain that He has some answers for you. So say a prayer and wait for His answer - it's always the right one! =) Feel free to contact me - I would be more than happy to share more with you - I can't remember if you can access my email address on mamasource or not so here it is - ____@____.com - God bless!

I just attended a workshop on FAS last week! Please contact your local Education Service Center (ESC) and they will have a person on staff that will be able to get you more resources that you knew existed! Here in Abilene it is Region 14 ESC. You can go to their website and call to get the number of the one in your area if you are not here. (www.esc14.net) The lady who did my training was out of Lubbock, and has raised her own FAS child to the age of 19 so far, and her organization does family training and screening for FAS children. Her name is Denese Thetford ###-###-#### x280 her website is www.beafamily.org Hope some of this information helps! Good luck and God bless you. I have taught kindergarten for 16 years and have worked with many of these children over the years. They can be a bit challenging but are oh so precious!

I have read stories and saw a film about people adopting or having a child and the effects aren't the same in all, as one may have no since of knowing somehing is wrong and steal and not know that is wrong, But the one that was in the film the boy had to be told each and everything, one night the father noticed a leak in the ceiling and found out the boy had left the sink on up stairs. he ask the boy why he had not turned off the water after brushing his teeth, and innocent answer was you didn't tell me I was supposed to. This was just an example, and the guy had adopted him as a baby, so naturally loved him, but didn't know of the problems and said he wouldn't of adopted if he had known all that was involved. Don't know if this well help your decision, but it seems to me if you have a child like this it will take your full time mothering, and your children may get very neglected. but of course you are the only one that can make that decision .

You obviously have a kind and loving heart. Unfortunately, love is not enough. Along with FAS you need to research RAD - Reactive Attachment Disorder which will most likely accompany the FAS, but won't be diagnosed until you are having severe bahavioral problems. When a child looses its "bond" to the natural parent, their mental and emotional development is dramatically affected. You already know that alcohol was involved, so you can presume there wasn't good bonding to start with. The separation that occurs with adoption is another "loss" for the child. This is very difficult to overcome and requires full-time, both hands on the wheel attention. I can't imagine taking on that kind of committment as a single parent. You will need all the time and support you can possibly get.

We adopted three kids with FAS and discovered severe RAD issues in all of them. One is now in a correctional facility and we fear for our safety from the other son. My daughter is doing quite well.

Put your emotions aside and do some serious research before you act. I wish you and the girls well.

D.
I have a niece and a nephew who both have been diagnosed with FAS. They are 20 and 18. They both have had alot of issues through out life but they have been a great joy in our lives.
They both have ear trouble and speech problems. They also have siezures. My niece is only 4ft 11in and is as sassy as sassy can be. My nephew is almost 6ft and is as skinny as a pole.
In our family we have several children/young adults with special needs so we have a rule that they are not treated any different then the "normal" kids. If someone climbed a tree and a child with issues wanted to climb then we all helped them both climb. What we would do for one we did for all.
Yes there are somethings that you need to treat a little different but if you don't make a big issue of it then your daughter and the other little one will just think that it is normal and go on with life.
Never tell her that she can't do something because of her FAS but encourage her to do all things that she wants to do. If there is something that she can't do encourage her to do other things.
My niece is looking for a job now. We are helping her to find something that she likes. My nephew is a "sophmore" in high school and can tell you anything you want to know about fish, solar system and engines.
They can live a normal live with assistance.
You will love having her she can be the biggest joy in your life as well as the biggest heartache, but what child isn't.
Enjoy her but be ready for the doctor visits.
D.

One of the families in a daycare I used to work at had 3 kids who had FAS. I don't know much about the older one, but the 2 younger ones were in my class. They both had very low muscle tone and were very short for their ages. They had speech and learning delays. The youngest one was very difficult to understand when he did speak. The oldest one was later diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (a form of Autism), but I'm not sure if that was related. The adoptive mom left her job to be a SAHM, so I don't know of details about the Asperger's or the cause of it. The family was blended, with 3 biological and 3 adopted children. The parents took in the adopted kids as their own.

I think it is a wonderful thing you are considering! You have an opportunity to bless this child with a loving home! A lot of people wouldn't even consider taking on a child who might have some challenges. In my opinion, it's those children who need someone the most, b/c they are so often overlooked.

First off let me say that " She will be one lucky little girl"FAS can range from Mild to severe. I have a daughter with Cru Da Chat syndrome and she is 30, I have taught various classes to the high school kids about birth deffects and disabilities. Most of all children need to be loved and to feel secure . The young girl I know who has FAS, is a very bright young lady, it affected her mostly in her motor skills. she is kinda akward in her movements, and her facial features are classic of FAS. I would suggest that you find a good backup support system, such as THE ARC or the local MHMR, remember that schooling will be a trip all it's own. So be prepared to fight for what ever she needs (ie). therapy, speech therapy,and whatever she is entitled to by law...Mostly like I said" she will be one lucky little girl that someone was willing to share their love and home with". The young lady that I know interacted with her family and friends with no problems, and did well in school. I know there are horror stories out there I just haven't ever been part of one.

Hi D. years ago I provided therapy to emotionally and mentally impaired children in the city of Detroit. Two of the children on my case load suffered from FAS. I do believe children are miss diagnosed all the time however FAS has some farely distant facial features such as a wider seperation between their eyes than normal and a rather small head. It was interesting both of children I worked with had difficulty controling their impulses, following directions due to inability to retain information and boundary issues with others. If your willing to set vary structured boundaries and rules then I believe the child can strive. As long as you are aware as caretaker that you may constantly repeat yourself to the child and she may actually never be able to process the information due to her learning disablities. Otherwise both of the children I worked with were vary loving and did make some progress but not significant.