January 05, 2009,
J.N. asks from Bellflower, CA on July 16, 2008
Hi moms, I have been having some trouble getting pregnant. We've tried several times throughout the years but just basically felt if it happens it happens. Well now were getting older and the issue of having a child is really weighing on me. Sometimes I'm so consumed with it I'm willing to try just about anything. For the last 6 months I have been taking clomid. I tried for two months with no success. I decided to stop and wait for aunt flow but she was late, and my hopes were up but I was let down again. She came a month late in full force and I bleed for about 2 weeks, thats when I decided to start my birth control pills to control the bleeding. (Diagnosed with PCOS at 21. I had a D&C in 12/06 due to hemorrhaging from taking progesterone to induce period, diagnosed with hypothyroidism at the age of 11 but at 23 it some how was normal.) So the following month I had a normal period and started my clomid on days 5-9 again. I have intercourse every other day just in case I ovulate. None of my friends know that I'm trying again and neither does my family or my husband. It has become to hard to talk about this with other people because they don't understand and it's to embarrassing and difficult to explain. And all I hear is "when are you gonna have a baby", I just shrug it off and say were waiting or maybe in a few years. It's getting harder and harder each time. I would love any advice, similar experiences or words of encouragement. Thanks...
6 moms found this helpful
So What Happened?™
Thank you to all the wonderful angels that have replied to my cry for help. I hope that you read this so you truly know how you have helped me and especially on this day. I wrote my original message 2 days ago. In those two days I received about 11 responses. Today July 17, 2008 my grandmother passed away at the age of 90. Today I received over 50 responses. Maybe I'm just over emotional and full of the holy spirit but I think that you all were meant to be my Angels, to blanket me with your kind thoughts and encouraging words. I know that a lot of you know what a feels like when you see your friends or other women getting pregnant at the drop of a dime and you are doing everything in your power to do the same but with no luck. Well today I also go a message from a really good friend who has gone on clomid 2 times and has gotten pregnant after she stopped taking it. She now has an 8 month old little boy and is pregnant with number 3. I talked to her today to find out what and how this happened. She hasn't had a period since she was pregnant (well over a year) and somehow she is pregnant again. I'm not a very jealous person, and I couldn't be more happier for her. But I just still don't understand "why me". Until I got home, check my email and there you all were. 53 responses. My day has gone from despair and sadness to understanding, patience and HOPE. I have hope that it will someday be my turn, I have hope that I will soon be able to talk about my feelings out loud and share it with my husband (who is very supportive but doesn't like to talk about it because he knows how I get.. LOL He cries more then me. ha ha ha) I have hope that my grandmother will guide all my angles (you) to help me with my dreams of having a family. Thank you for giving me Hope.
Oh yeah, while at my grandmothers house looking for her black slacks and this one blouse that my cousin and I always remember her in and it's what we want her to be buried in, my aunt found a bag with my name on it. In the bag was 5 baby blankets, 2 of which she had crochet. I just thought I would let you all know that.
M.S. answers from San Diego on July 17, 2008
I suggest finding & going to the best fertility specialist in the country. You are still young so don't worry too much! I went through troubles getting pregnant, but now have 3 children!
B.T. answers from Los Angeles on July 17, 2008
Hi J.. I also have PCOS and have struggled with fertility. There is a great site with a message board soulcysters.com that is for women with PCOS. I know how difficult this can be. Please feel free to contact me.
D.L. answers from Los Angeles on July 17, 2008
I know exactly how you feel. I was also diagnosed with PCOS and it wasn't until I went to a fertility specialist that I found out how High glucose or blood sugar levels affect fertility and PCOS. I went on a medication for blood sugar and within a couple of weeks my cysts were gone. I also am hypothyroid, which by the way doesn't go away so that dramatically affects fertility. I would make an appointment for a specialist and you may have to keep trying until you find a dr. that is aware of these things to help you. I went to 3 drs. before I found the one that finally helped me. I now have a beautiful 15 month daughter!
H.M. answers from Boca Raton on January 01, 2009
I know you have a lot of responses, but you will need the re-enforcemnet as you go through the holidays. I was 32 when I started trying. I am now 36. It took me 4 years. I never went the Clomid route. I got all of the fertility tests done, EVEN MY HUSBAND. Don't rule him out. We did one failed IVF and then I did acupuncture for six months and my husband and I took Chinese herbs made by the acupuncturists. He gets 80% of his patients pregnant. When I went to the doctors they couldn't find anything wrong, but the acupuncturists said all of these things were wrong. I needed to change my diet: no drinking, no caffeine, stay away from cold foods etc..He changed my period. I stopped cramping and having PMS like symptoms. I finally got pregnant. It's something to look into if you have not. But find an acupuncurist that specializes in infertility.
Also here is a website that got me through anjionline.com
All of my friends were pregnant before me, it was so depressing. Just talk to your husband, don't let it ruin your marriage. I think we are better now because of what we have gone through together.
And if someone asks you "When you are having a baby?" Just tell them with a smile "Oh, that is something personal between me and my husband."
Good luck to you. I wish you all the best. You have a friend out there who understands.
2 moms found this helpful
A.M. answers from New Orleans on January 01, 2009
I have read some articles in Faith & Family about sucesses using NaproTechnology. It was developed by Dr. Thomas Hilgers out of Cornell University. He is a natural fertility doctor. The system looks at symptom's of infertility and corrects them. It involves charting your menstral cycle. I suggest you go to naprotechnology.com. They have a list of doctors trained in Naprotechnology.
2 moms found this helpful
B.L. answers from Jacksonville on January 01, 2009
I've had all the same troubles as you, only I was only finally diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis this year, by a naturopathic physician. She tested thyroid antibodies, not just T3, T4 and TSH, and low and behold they were very high. I was diagnosed with PCOS as a teenager, and told I would have trouble conceiving. Sure enough!
I was put on Spironolactone to try to control the male hormones for about 9 months, which made me have a period every two weeks (my husband called it my fortnight friend). I went off it for a month or two (changed insurance...) and in that window of time I got pregnant. Three years after the first one I managed to get pregnant again with no medical intervention (prayers, fasting, blessings).
My skin got soooooo bad (hirsutism always) with acne the whole time I was pregnant and nursing the first two, I didn't want to go through that again (with all new scars, etc.) so I went on accutane after I weaned the second one and had to do all the birth control. (The accutane didn't do the job, by the way, so very powerful, dangerous drugs - for nothing). So when we were able to start trying, my period stopped for five months (typical for me if not on the pill) and I had started gaining weight for no reason. I finally decided that I had never much gotten anywhere with conventional medicine so I found a Naturopathic Physician that specialized in womens issues, and within 7 months I was pregnant, without drugs. The first thing she did was put me on an anti inflammatory diet and gave me homeopathic hormones to be taken with the phases of the moon. Sounds hokey, but I had a cycle within 5 weeks. Also my progesterone level was very low, so she had me take very small doses of it, because if you don't have enough you can't get pregnant or have a cycle. Naturopathic medicine doesn't replace what's missing, it tries to stimulate or heal the body to correct itself and produce its own. I am now about 14 weeks along.
There is so much information out there for people like you and me, as the whole hormone imbalance thing is practically becoming an epidemic. I'll tell you some resources that I have found profoundly useful. There's a book by an MD called Feeling Fat, Fuzzy, Frazzled... that got me on the path to finding alternative medicine. He explains really well how the hormones are all connected, and when one gets out of balance, it knocks the others off as well (hence our sex hormones and thyroid both being off). He offers some solutions to helping ourselves. It's cheap on amazon. I also found the book Fertility Wisdom by Angela Wu to be very good as well. She's a Doctor of Oriental Medicine. A lot of what she says regarding diet coincides with the anti-inflammatory diet (specifically avoiding sugar and wheat). There are a number of books out there on the fertility diet, as well as diets for PCOS. Just do a bit of a search on amazon. It might seem weird, that food would have any effect on fertility, but it is certainly an explanation for the profound infertility that is in our western culture. We eat very differently from what people ate even 40 years ago, and especially 100 years ago (wheat for instance is very different now from what it was back than).
Some websites that I have found very helpful are:
www.womentowomen.com (they sell supplements, but there's still tons of good information)
http://www.kitchentablemedicine.com/anti-inflammatoy-diet/ - tons of good information. My ND is a-ok with eating organic butter, and eggs from chickens that aren't given hormones or antibiotics, and red meat if it's from grass-fed cows (instead of grain-fed, like most are). The fats are different when the animals are fed grass. I decided it wasn't feasible for our family to go all organic (I can't triple our food budget) so I've done a few specific things. I've found some Nature's Harmony eggs at walmart that are $2 a dozen... Anyway, I know it can seem daunting, but making even a few changes can make a difference (my ND says going gluten free alone can make a huge difference - and I didn't realize how much wheat I used to eat).
Also, it might seem impossible, but trying to stop worrying and being depressed about your infertility can have an affect on your ability to conceive. It is well documented that women who somehow manage to stop obsessing about it (either give up, or put their focus elsewhere) sometimes spontaneously conceive. Our mood has a huge affect on our hormones.
Anyway, I totally understand what you are going through and wish you all the best. Also, I have always been up front when people have asked if we're going to have children, or have any more. I just say that we're always trying, or that we're not fertile, both of which are true. People are sympathetic, and with family you might get a few extra prayers in your behalf. And, you might have your husband's semen tested, just to rule him out. You never know. It costs around $100, and gives that piece of mind. Bless your heart for adopting your little girl.
2 moms found this helpful
L.E. answers from Los Angeles on July 17, 2008
For a couple of years, I dealt with various infertility problems (in almost ever way possible!) before bearing my two sons, who are now 24 months old and 9 months old. As I have tried almost everything, know many specialists (reproductive endocrinologists, reproductive immunologists, and perinatologists (high-risk obstetricians)) in Southern California and some other regions, as well as many other people who have experienced infertility or sub-fertility, including PCOS, I would be happy to share my experience, preferably by phone as I might be able to answer your questions more quickly that way. My sister-in-law has PCOS but was able to bear a child after several years of trying. One of my acquaintances, who is a sensitive, compassionate psychologist, has hypothyroidism and and has undergone extensive treatment of the condition to become pregnant. So if I can't answer your question, I can find someone who can.
There is a ton of misinformation (produced and promoted by people who intentionally try to defraud those struggling with infertility and people who think that they are experts in the very complex field of reproduction and talk as if they know it all). Don't waste your precious time, energy and money on ineffective or even harmful products and procedures! (I spent two years and $40,000 and shed a lot of tears. Some of my friends have spent even more!) I highly recommend two clinics, Pacific Fertility Center (Dr. Sahakian) and Reproductive Partners (Drs. Meldrum, Wisot, Yee, Rosen, Cassidenti), and the UCLA-Santa Monica Hospital's perinatologist Dr. Khalil Tabsh, who repeatedly succeed under daunting odds and I have found to be quite supportive. You can find them by Googling those names or contacting me.
1 mom found this helpful
T.J. answers from Washington DC on January 02, 2009
J., I am 46 had similiar concerns when I first thought I wanted to have a baby. I was on birth comtrol for several years (started as young teen). But I prayed about it, cried out to God let him know my heart and maybe not too soon after I was stop thinking about getting pregnant and ended up pregnant. I now have 4 grown children. My oldest daughter had female problems as young teen and even had to have emergency surgery at age 18 and was treated for several years to have no period, to having a normal period again. She was told that she would have to let doctors know when she wanted to have a baby and go through a series of procedures to be able to do so. This past November 2008 she delivered her first child without having to go through any medical treatments. I now have 6 beautiful grand children. I know in my heart that God will bless you with a child.
Lay on the floor and cry out to Him. He will give you the desires of your heart. In Jesus name. always T.
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S.V. answers from Ocala on January 01, 2009
I see that you had sooo many responses..I too had a lot of problems...I took clomid for six months...NOTHING...Than I waited another year..Took fertility shots for 2 months...Got hyperstimulated..hurt terribly...than had to have 3 surgical procedures...was going to have invitro....tried insemination 1 more time and GOT PREGNANT with triplets....They are 4 1/2 now..I used to see other people and be so upset..why not me...sometimes they just had kids back to back...without trying...Be careful what you wish for....I got what I wanted times 3...Good Luck to you...
1 mom found this helpful
S.S. answers from Reno on July 17, 2008
This may sound strange, but I picked up a book at a garage sale one day. It was about an old New England Doc and he was giving advice to a couple trying to concieve. He gave them the same advice he gave to a farmer trying to get his cows to concieve. 1 and 1/2 tablespoons of Apple cider vinegar every day.
Both the farmer and the couple were successful.
Sometimes its the simple things that make the difference. We are so programmed to take the drugs or surgery, we forget that once upon a time Dr.s actually new how to heal with the natural things around us.
1 mom found this helpful
G.L. answers from New York on January 03, 2009
I had to add my two cents... lol. I had my first child at the age of 41. The Lord blessed me and answered my prayers. I pray for women with infertility every night. Don't let anyone keep you from trying! I used both IVF and natural therapies to have my daughter. I would suggest you try natural hormone/nutritional therapies. It worked for me and you'll be amazed at what it can do. Try to find a Naturopath similar to mine in your area.
1 mom found this helpful