Infants and New Ideas About When to Feed What?

Updated on May 06, 2009
S.L. asks from Lakeside, CA
3 answers

On one of my daycare groups, a question has come up about some parents with some different food demands.

The caregiver says mom and dad are withholding all fruit for their 2 children, 6 months and 3 years of age. Apparently, they are feeding broccoli and peas before one year and adding extra veggies after 1 year. I guess they are also very strict and careful about the type of meats given. They say they do more eggs and cheese and less meat.

They are also adding water to milk, avoiding all sugar, limiting crackers and seeking crackers without any sugar in them. The provider is upset because the parents only believe that the babies need infant cereal once during the day plus formula and then they feed the baby a vegetable at night with formula. She feels their 3 year old is underweight and is very upset by their refusal to provide a diet with fruit in it.

I haven't received an answer yet about how much under the child is according to height and weight charts. But I know many kids are under the charts and still very healthy. Personally, I feed fruits. But I have heard others say they are keeping fruit out of the diet until they are older.

Does this type of diet sound really too restrictive? Sometimes I worry that people spend way too much time critiquing other peoples parenting styles. But then again children do starve to death right here in the USA. It does happen. Any ideas?

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So What Happened?

Thank you. I just needed a reality check. I said virtually the same thing to this provider as you both just said. But as usual, I was basically either ignored or told that I was wrong by the various people. I too feel that there are times when providers way over step the appropriate boundaries. I am the first person to have very strong convictions about child rearing and if I believe in something I'll tell my stories of what has worked or not worked with various situations in my daycare. My stories are my way of comparing different parenting styles so that ultimately a parent can make their own choice. I know I come off like a know it all at times. I sure don't mean to. What I do mean to do is share the vast experience I have had figuring out problems in the trenches. I never found a lot of help in a book. I also never found a lot of help from doctors. So often I had to figure things out for myself or for my kids and I had to seek alternative health ideas because conventional way of doing things just was not working.

I really struggle against the concept that a person can be sugar addicted. But that's because I like my sugar. I actually have a major fear of trying to go even a day without any form of sugar, let alone a lifestyle. And I am talking about fruits and what sugar is found in yogurt. It's not like I consume donuts everyday or even once in awhile. I have maybe 2-3 donuts in a years time! But I get my sugar and so do my kids.

I look forward to hearing from others.

More Answers

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C.A.

answers from St. Louis on

It sounds healthier than a lot of babies get. The day care provider is getting paid to do a job, and should follow the guidelines set by the parents. If that child is under weight or malnurished I am sure the pediatrician is aware of it. When looking at the nutritional value of veggies verses fruits you will find that many of them contain the same types of vitamins and minerals. By not using a lot of sugars, even the natural sugars in the fruits, they are allowing the body to develop insulin in much better fashion.

I find it offensive as a parent to have a day care provider openly questioning the decisions of a parenting style. If there is a concern she should address it with the parents. If she disagrees, she can tell them to find someone else. But to be honest the decision to add foods to a childs diet against that of the parent, goes against everything I feel is right in this situation.

I know a couple of little girls that are alergic to many foods. They eat not grains (cereal), no dairies, and few veggies and fruits. There diet is very limited. However, they are very healthy and are able to maintain their health even on the restrictive diet. Thin they may be, but their doctor agrees that they are amoung some of the healthiest kids he has seen.

Some times other people need to just step back and put aside their own personal feelings, while looking at something objectively. There is nothing about the diet you described that is lacking in nutritional value. They get milk, water, veggies, and cereal. The get crackers and cheese. They are getting their fats, there veggies, and their grains. They are getting a limited diet of sugars.

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C.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I totally agree with Cher. It is the parents decision what a child eats. If they want to wait to introduce fruits, that is their right as a parent. My children are both "under" on the AMERICAN charts, but fall right on in weight on the World Health Organization charts in weight, and a little under on height (they don't stand a chance there. Both parents are "short".) Many practicioners that support natural healing and true preventive medicine encourage diets that low in sugars (natural) and contain no added refined sugars. I am not so restrictive and allow my children to eat fruit, but honestly, I wish I had been more like these parents. Children will naturally turn to fruit and will be less likely to eat veggies once they are introduced. They are giving their children a taste for veggies and a chance at a healthy lifestyle. Also, it is NO ONE else's business how far under/over a child is on a growth chart but the parents and their healthcare provider. The growth charts are merely comparing each child against a group of children measured in 2000. That means a whole lot of nothing in a society where obesity in the accepted norm.
Also, are you aware that there is evidence that too much sugar in a diet is a risk factor for ADD and ADHD? Children are far more likely to have fruit allergies than vegetable allergies and children with digestive issues are discouraged from eating fruits and sugars. While children die everyday from starvation, all around the world, children survived on diets similar to these children for decades and were much healthier than most of today's children. It sounds as though your friend thinks that her own opinions of a healthy diet and a healthy weight are more important than that of the child's parents and health care provider. If she feels the need to be that judgemental, she needs to look at the problems with her way of thinking rather than judging that of someone else. How would she feel if they tried to tell her that her way of thinking was wrong and unhealthy and that her kids are fat? She wouldn't like that very much. Not everyone agrees with other people's decisions. That doesn't make them wrong, it makes them different. If I knew the family, I would tell them to find a respectful child care provider.

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Is it a bit restrictive, my opinion yes, but not wrong. There could be a family history of allergies, diabetes, etc that the provider doesn't know about.

As the provider she's going to have realize she's going to get all types of beliefs and opinions on how a child should be raised or fed. Kids go through crazy growth spurts, they get slim and fatten back out. If the child seems extremely underweight and appears to be lacking nourishment then she should report her concerns to the authorities.

I personally don't believe in going the extreme route with food. Just go into a bookstore now and see how many books about what you should eat there are, it's over whelming and they only contradict each other. Kind of like the parenting books, one says discpline this way, another book will say no-no that's wrong do it this way.

It's about balance just like everything else. I really don't have any foods on my list that are no-no's. I do limit refined sugar products but I do buy them in limitation. We don't keep soda in the house but if we go out to eat, we'll have one. Juices I do label read and avoid ones with corn syrup.

I'm a veggie and fruit eater, so I fed my son that way too.
I've seen kids that have a no sugar rule in their home but when they go to a friends house with sugary foods they do a sugar overload. =)

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