Infant Sleep Patterns

Ignore schedules. Babies have no concept of time. Generally if they're crying for something, that means they needed it five minutes ago.

If he cries, hold him. No newborn should be left to cry it out. Even advocates of that method tell you to wait until the child is at least 6 months old, preferably closer to a year. He cries, you tend to him. You'll find he will become a much happier baby if you do this.

Throw away the books. They don't know your baby. You know your baby, or at least you're learning him. You'll probably do much better if you go by your instinct.

About him not sleeping, it's normal. Newborns are trying to figure out the world. Sleeping like a baby doesn't mean peacefully. It means waking up 20 times a day. Try getting him to sleep a little earlier. His problem could be over stimulation. He'll be easier to get to sleep if he's not too tired and he'll sleep better, too.

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i just want to say to you...be patient, all things do solve themselves. i read every baby book i could lay my hands on with my 1st born, boy was i so surprised when he hadn't had a chance to read those books!!! throw the books away, do what feels right to you and for your baby. i wondered how something so small could make me feel so dumb. it takes time and you will soon be in a routine and these first weeks will be faint distant memories! if he sleeps, you sleep. best advice i can give you, and if he cries, soothe him, and if you find yourself at a loss, place him in his crib (a safe place) and step out the door for a few seconds and BREATH. it will get better!

C.-
First off you are NOT a failure of a mother. Second Congradulations. Babies take time, unfortantly they work on their schedule not ours. My youngest who is now 2 had issues with sleep I thought she would never sleep. She eventually grew out of it. Give it time, and when Baby Caleb lays down you lay down too. Laundry, dishes ect.. can wait!
Good Luck!

You may have already heard this, but try swaddling him everytime you want him to sleep. My son went through some similar stuff. I realized that he was to wiggly to settle down and go to sleep. So at nap time for a long, long time, I swaddled him and rocked him to sleep. I did the same at night to get him to sleep. Some babies are not big sleepers. I was amazed at how little my son slept. He still only takes 1 or 2 thirty minute naps a day, at 9 mos. That is the most he has ever slept. But I found that if I got those naps in durring the day the collic was much less difficult to deal with. You have to swaddle very tight though. My husband had to help me, he was much better at it, but it was a life saver. Good luck to you!

Does he spit up a lot or is his spit up projectile? I ask this because my daughter was exactly like your son when she was his age (not sleeping, colic) and I tried babywise with no luck as well. It turned out that she had acid reflux and all we had to do was put her on medicine for that, which solved everything. I have read a lot about it and talked to my daughter's pediatrician about it at length and many babies have it but are misdiagnosed with colic and never treated for it. It goes away within the first 6 - 9 months so isn't anything serious.
Also, have you tried putting him to sleep in his swing? I know it isn't as great as him sleeping in his crib, but this is something I had to do several times with my daughter just to get a few hours of sleep. The rocking motion really helps calm them down. You could also try a bouncy chair, but I didn't have as much luck with that. Another idea to calm his stomach at night since he has colic is to bring him in the shower with you and let the water come down on his tummy. Just make sure that it isn't too hot and be careful since babies are slippery when wet!
I wish you luck! I know how frustrating and tiring this can be. I hope that you get it all figured out and just remember that it will get better - I promise!

You seem to be doing all you can at this point. If Benadryl didn't do the trick...I have no further advice to offer except maybe get a second opinion from a pediatrician. I would however, like to tell you that I am sure many of us can empathize and/or sympathize with the exhaustion and frustration you must be feeling. I swear I don't think I slept for two years after my second child was born. I was fortunate enough though to not have to go back to work. Just try to keep it together until this works itself out. Maybe have someone stay with you to care for the baby overnight so you and your husband can get some sleep. Going back to work and having these issues with a new baby can really take it out of you. Hang in there!

I have a son who did the exact same thing and it turned out he had a milk allergy. I read every sleep book I could get my hands on and nothing worked. I would recommend "Healthy Sleep habits of a happy child" By Marc Weisbleuth. I also read "the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. Babywise did nothing but confuse me. The other two I found very helpful, however my son did not sleep or nap good until aroung 4 months old. I know you are exhausted but hang in there it will get better.

I still can't figure out why people try to put babies on schedules, but I guess to each his own. We had one cranky baby who did well in a swing or bouncy seat when we needed desperate sleep. Also, the musical aquarium worked well.

Bless your heart! I know where you're coming from. Our daughter had colic and it was crazy for a awhile there. She settled down at night at about 9 weeks - but still cried for several hours during the day and wouldn't/couldn't nap much. It's probably all related. Here's what we did:

1) Mylicon is your friend! The gripe water never worked for us - so we just stuck with mylicon. However, you can't wait until the crying starts - you need to get out ahead of it. Give him a dose of mylicon with each meal and before bed if he doesn't take a bottle at bedtime. (this was recommended by our pediatritian and it's perfectly safe).

2) Another tummy remedy - it generally shows signs of working about 10-20 minutes after you do it. Lay him on his back and move his knees into his chest/belly one at a time for 5 times each leg. Then do them together for 5 times. Then rub his tummy in clockwise circles for a minute. Then move his knees into his chest and gently rotate clockwise for a minute. He'll probably calm down by the time you're doing the last part, and will start passing gas shortly after.

3) Warm heat on the tummy - wet a washcloth and put it in the microwave for 15-30 seconds. It should be very warm but not super hot. Put it in a ziplock bag. Then put it on his tummy on the outside of his clothes. You can also wrap it in a dish towel if it seems too hot. Just don't put it directly on his tummy.

4) Swaddle. Yes, there are people out there that say don't swaddle after a couple of weeks. And I say that these people never had a colicky infant! Anytime we put Jordan down for a nap or to sleep at night, we swaddled her up tight.

5) Rock. Rocking is always good. But if you have a glider with a gliding footstool - use that. We used to swaddle her up, put the heat pack on the glider footstool and put her tummy down on the footstool and just rock her on that. The swings that go sideways work wonders as well. They are not cheap - but are worth the peace!

6) Moses Basket. I'm not sure if you have him in a crib or bassinet or what. But we used a moses basket for the first 7-8 weeks becuase Jordan seemed to need the more close feel of it. I think the crib was too big and scary for her. We continued to use the Moses basket for naps up until she was about 4 months old.

I hope some of this helps! Good luck!

Boy, have I been in your shoes! My son never slept when he was a newborn, and mainly due to the constant screaming associated with his horrible colic. Like you, I worried constantly that he was not getting enough sleep. He cat-napped all day and night (in between crying) during those first 14 or so weeks. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Here are some suggestions for things that helped me -a swaddle blanket (I swaddled him at night until the colic was gone at 3 1/2 mos) and a sleep conditioner. The sleep conditioner for his room was a lifesaver. We bought the MarPac Sleep Mate 980. It costs about $50 online but it is sooo worth it. It drowns out house noise, and outputs constant white noise, which colicky babies love. It is about the size of a coffee can and sounds similar to a box fan, but doesn't output any wind. For naps, a cradle swing (side-to-side kind) and/or TV static going worked for me. Used to knock my little colic baby out cold, and was the only way he would nap at all during the day for any lenght of time. Try everything you can think of until you find something that works. The vacuum cleaner even worked for a little while!
If you want to entertain some light reading on the subject, take a look at Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. The author addresses colic and how it affects sleep patterns. Just keep in mind that a lot of babies will not sleep through the night for 12 hours or so for some time. Sleep training only really worked for me after the colic subsided. Before that, he was on no schedule at all since he was so unpredictable with all the crying. My son gradually increased his sleep time at night as he grew, and by 5 mos, he was sleeping 12 hour nights. All babies are different.
The silver lining is that colic will be over soon enough- I promise! If you need any support during this time or just want to vent, then I am here for you. Mothers who have never had a child with colic have NO IDEA what you are going through. Best of luck to you...

So far you got real good answers here. I don't know what you feel about the one response about him sleeping with you. TO ME THAT IS A BIG NO NO. I had a friend who rolled over her baby and smothered it, and then I see all these other familys try to get their kids out of their room when they got older...anyways....

I was wondering also if you breast fed.
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You've gotten some great advice so far but you need to stop the Benadryl!! I can't even believe a Dr. would tell you to give any let alone that much to a new born!! My son was almost 1yr old and over 20lbs and only took 1/4 tsp a day for a skin reaction he had to something.

The swing or a vibrating bouncy seat - Most baby swings now days can be reclined back for an infant. But most babies love some sort of movement. Also, how does he sleep when he is in his car seat? Some babies love the closeness of them and will sleep well in them. I've heard of parents putting the seat in the crib while the baby sleeps. Or swaddling might help too. Remember, he was in a tight area for 9 months and now he is in this big world.

How or what are you feeding him? He could have lactose issues. And if you are nursing only, don't let a Dr. tell you that he can't be allergic to your milk cause babies can. My sister found that out the hard way cause she took everything the Dr. told her as if he was a God. Even if you are using formula, you might want to get a can of soy (doesn't have to be the most expensive kind either) and try that for a few days and see what happens. If you are nursing then pump and dump or pump and store it so you can have it for a later date. If you notice a change in him for the better within 12 hrs or so then you've found the problem. If you are using formula it could be the brand. My daughter was on Enfamil and was horribly gassy and would get constipated at least once a month till she start baby foods, my son was on Carnation Good Start and never seemed to have a problem. In fact his BMs looked more like a breast fed baby.

And infant gas drops are awesome!!!! For his age I'd give 1/2 of the smallest dose to start. If it doesn't seem to help then give him a tad bit more but do not exceed the smallest dose. Give it too him about 5-10 mins before a feeding or right when he starts getting fussy. Put him over your shoulder and pat or rub his back. You'll either get a nice big burp out of him or a nice big stinker or more!!

Something else is white noise. A fan or something that makes a constant sound may help too when you put him down to sleep. My daughter has a water 'lava' lamp in her room that she turns on when there is a storm to help droned out the noise.

Just remember, everything is trial and error, give one thing a try for a few days before moving on to the next. He is becoming more aware of the world and you are learning about him. HUGS to both of you!! I've always said that each baby should be born with his/her own instruction manual cause each one is different from the next.

Good luck and I hope you find something that makes both of you happy!

S.

Parental sleep deprivation is awful! I feel for you. You know it's terrible and that you are not alone by the amount of books on the subject at the library. My first child was very similar. He didn't sleep night or day. Henry didn't start napping until I started swaddling him (Happiest Baby on the Block method) and putting him to be in a darkened room on a schedule I got out of The Contented Baby Book. I tried to avoid shedules -nursing on demand and letting him fall asleep in my arms, but that isn't for all moms or babies. He fell right into the schedule and was less grumpy after getting some sleep. That worked great for naps, but night time sleep is different. I was given a book on sleep by Jodi Mendell. She explains sleep patterns, the difference between day & night sleep, and how to change them - compassionately and non-judgementally. I used one of her methods when Henry was 8 months. He has sleep through the night ever since. Good luck. I'll be thinking about you! N.

Hang in there! My son went through this after feedings for the first few months and i tried everything. I squeezed his legs up to his tummy in a biycle motion and gave mylicon with each bottle. They seemed to eventually give relief. The one thing that made a difference was a half a teaspoon of rice in each bottle. He was about 2-3 months old when i tried this. It was reccomended to me by a neighbour whose pediatrician had told her to try it for her sons severe colic. This is the one thing that truly changed the problems he was having and it was like living with a different baby.

I also purchased the elevated mattress from babies r us for about $10.00 to help with his acid reflux. A combination of all of these things worked. I told my dr at the next appt and he said it was fine.

I also had a bedtime routine of bath, bottle, and bed with music on, which i was consistent with every single night. This really helps babies relax and they need a routine at night especially.

Hope this helps you!

Well it has been a long time for me but try butting either in the bed with you or next to you and take one nap in the daytime with him and then let him sleep wth you at night so tha he can learn your sleep paterns.

When I had my son I just can not go to sleep in the hospital unless he was in my room but I would lay my son on my chest right before I would go to sleep at night time and he would sleep most of the night and when I was up ine morning he would get up shortly afterwards and would try to be up all day long.

but I hope the advise that I gave you works at least a little.
let me know how it goes okay.

A.

my baby was born in april also and i dont really have that problem. on some days he does stay awake alot and takes just a few cat naps. but try a bedtime routine. well try to see what his schedule is like. write down what time it is every time he eats, needs a diaper change, and sleeps. do that for a week or so and see if you see a pattern. our bedtime routine is his last bottle at 9 pm. then bath, then a massage, then i give him his paci and his favorite blanket and take him into a quiet room and rock him until he is drowsy, then when he is drowsy i lay him in his bassinet and turn on his womb sounds bear and he is always asleep by 10 pm and sleeps until 7 am. just try a little bit of what i do and let me know if it helps since our little ones are around the same age both born in april 2007. but let me know if any of this helped and by the way the womb sounds bear is great. he got where he wanted to sleep near me and when he was about 4 weeks old i bought one and he has slept in his bassinet since then. but try something and again let me know if it helped. congrats on your baby boy.

Hi C., Have you tried swaddling Caleb? My daughter went through that and she had colic as well. I got her a swaddling blanket and she would sleep longer and more peacefully than ever before. Good Luck!

I don't know if this will help you at all, but maybe try putting him to sleep in a swing? My son did the same thing at that age, and we found he would only sleep in his swing. He had reflux, so it really helped him to be comfortable and keep his milk down. He would scream everytime we laid him down in the bassinette, crib, or pack-n-play, but as soon as we tried the swing he was happy. We got into that rut and he would ONLY sleep in the swing, until he was about 7 months old....but whatever works, we all got sleep! It's worth a try! Good luck!

Try bringing baby to bed with you. See http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp for info on safe cosleeping practices. This will be especially helpful if you are breastfeeding: no getting out of bed for feedings, thus your sleep and his is less disturbed!

!!!!Congratulations!!!! No seriously, you're doing GREAT and are not a failure!
You've been given a lot of GREAT ideas. I personally am scared of co-sleeping. Mother-in-law fell asleep in a chair w/ my daughter & almost dropped her. Naturally, my imagination took off from there!
Honestly my daughter didn't sleep well for a while (in adult's books) -- not due to colic but she was being breastfeed and a LOT later I discovered she was milk sensitive (the source of a lot of difficulties). I was totally thrilled the first time she slept 4 hours straight. I tried to put her on a schedule based on a nurse's advicewhich didn't last more thatn 2 dys. My Ped. also told me to disregard schedules and follow my baby's ques. That made my life a Whole lot more pleasanter. I discovered she already had her own schedule which co-incidentally seemed to be similar to my schedule while pregnant.
One thing you might try is taking Caleb for strolls during daylight hours to help the internal clock start working better.
Another idea is "lunch snoozing". Set an alarm and take a nap! I stole a lot of naps while "pumping" at work. Yeah, sleep deprivation does not make the work day any shorter or pleasanter. (In fact, I miss my stolen naps!) For your sanity's sake, Please make sure hubby is helping at night-- bottles are a wonderful invention! Besides, Daddy needs bonding time too -- even if at 2 AM. Trust me, he'll treasure those night-time shifts later (even brag about it!).
By the way, I used a bassinet for a few months, swaddled her for as long as possible, loved Mylicon, patted her back a lot--which she still finds comforting and will still fall asleep to-- had a lot of short/long nights. But hey, I would never have seen the Pope's funeral nor Prince Charles remarry if it hadn't been for her schedule. There's always an UP side.
Good luck & have faith in yourself. Your instincts are fantastic!
Hint, hint: Mother's intuition is not a made-up phenomena.

PS -- if you think milk might be part of the problem--look to your family & your husband's family own past as a guide. Meaning, I could not drink whole milk until 36yrs old without literaly becoming physically ill. Discovered my husband also had problems w/ milk when he was a babe. I don't know if it's hereditary or not. It does look like a missing part of the puzzle on hindsight for me. It won't hurt to drink soy milk if your breastfeeding. (I suggest trying different brands & flavors. French Vanilla by some companies is GREAT! Nestle Quik added in becomes a treat too.)
Oh and please don't ask what my house looks like -- time spent w/ two year old is WAY more fun. Once playdates start occurring more, I think I might get a few things more presentable. Quality time & sleep takes a new meaning as a working mom. Of course, my hubby isn't a neat freak which does nothing for the house being in anything better than the "generally cluttered" look (maybe that'll be the new 'shabby chic' look LOL!)
Have fun! You'll never repeat yesterday. Treasure today.