Infant Napping Struggles

Are you on a routine? Meaning are you giving him cues that it is time to sleep? Doing the same thing before sleeping for a baby is soothing and comforting. I feed my son, read a book, then play music softly and put him down with a kiss and say night night. He knows that once I start reading to him it is time to settle down. At 3 months he is changing and needs cues to help himknow what it is time to do since he is older and more alert. Pleasedon't let him cry it out, he is still too young to know what you want him to do and unless you put him down at the same time everyday he won't know why he is being left to cry. He is still too young to spoil. good luck

Hi A.,
A baby carrier is the way to go. Your baby can fall asleep and nap on your body, and then stay there happily asleep while you go about your business.

Little babies *don't* normally sleep very well in their cribs, they almost always sleep best on mom. In traditional societies babies are worn throughout the day while mom works and takes care of other children. Being left alone means DANGER to a baby, I have been abandoned! Someone come and get me!

Please don't let your baby cry it out. That just teaches your baby that he cannot rely on you to help him when he calls for you. It teaches him that his efforts to communicate are useless. Now what you want in the long-term.

Check out this selection of carriers, they are my personal favorites:
http://www.theportablebaby.com/babycarriers.html

Your baby will grow out of this, it's just a phase. I swore my oldest son (now 4yo) would never be able to fall asleep on his own. He sleeps just fine, for 12 hours at a stretch, in his own bed. I co-slept with him until he was about 2.

I am still co-sleeping with his baby brother, now 15 months. He takes most of his naps on my back still, but that is mostly just because I have two kids and the ability for him to nap on the go is easier for me.

At night he will lie down and sleep, no problem. He will do so for a nap as well. It gets easier and easier with time as he gets older.

Have you tried laying down in bed with him and nursing him to sleep, then getting up once he is awake? Or just simply taking a nap with him?

I know this sounds crazy but it works for me everytime. If you put him in the swing, put it next to the dishwasher and turn it on. The swooshing sound will relax him enough to go to sleep. If you put him in the crib, put a fan in his room, blowing away from him of course, but close enough that he can hear the sound. hope this helps, good luck.

Everybody has different beliefs about the CIO method. I personally think he is too young for that. At 4 months, they still need to understand that if they cry you will be there, and chances are at that age he probably needs something. Is he getting enough to eat? I think we started introducing rice cereal at about 3 or 4 months. I first put it in a bottle with some breast milk and then just started feeding with a spoon. That might help.

I'm pretty sure at 4 months my kids weren't putting themselves to sleep yet either. Again, everyone is different and it would be fabulous if he could learn that so early. I think I walked until they fell asleep and I didn't put them down on their backs. I rolled up a burpie cloth so I could prop her on her side. I also put a blanket over her when I walked and a soft burpie (cloth diaper) on top of the blanket so it could get warm. When I put her in the crib, I'd put the burpie cloth down, the rolled one on top of that and I'd place her straight on her side. She'd lie down on a warm cloth and her blanket never came off so there wasn't a huge change in temperature.

Maybe that will work for you, if not, just keep trying.

Good luck!

He might be teething. I know it seemd eairly but James stated to teeth at 4 months. It took about 3 weeks for them to pop threw and once they did he stated to sleep good during the day again. He also might be on the edge of doings something really cool like rolling over or crawling or something. When ever James is about to do something he does not sleep well.

So just keep that in mind.

Also you might want to try doing his usual bedtime routine for naps. That helped James.

Good Luck
A.

My son is now 6month old. At 4 month, he couldn't nap by himself either. I have to rock him every single time I want him to have a nap Or let him sleep on my arm... Now, he is on the schedule of having those nap and he can easily to fall in sleep...

Hi A.,
Some babies just don't nap during the day. One of my kids had that same problem - he'd fall asleep in the stroller or in the car seat but then when we stopped, even before I had a chance to move him into his crib, he'd wake up, refreshed and ready to go. Remember that some babies won't sleep through the night for years, seriously, so you are lucky about that. And just when you get used to one pattern it will, inevitably, change.
Good luck!

It sounds like your baby would rather have your company than be sleeping--my baby's have done this, too. First, I recommend getting Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. The baby may be getting overtired, then having a hard time falling asleep. And you don't have to let him cry it out. I'm having success with the chair method: I put the baby in his crib drowsy but awake, then stay there next to him, singing and comforting him until he falls asleep (usually with my eyes closed as a hint). In a couple of days, I'll move my chair halfway to the door for a couple of nights, then in the doorway for a couple of nights, assuring him verbally from there. By then he should be falling asleep on his own. At four months, his sleep schedule will change sometimes, and hopefully he'll start napping longer soon. Good luck. I know how frustrating this is.

personally, i have the same struggles with my 5 month old. she sleeps from 8:30 PM to 6ish AM each and every night. only when shes not feeling well does she wake in the middle of the night for a comfort/rock in the rocking chair/pacifier 15 minutes or so. but the days are absolutely horrible. she stays away for roughly 2 hours ... sleeps for 20 - 30 minutes.. wakes for 2 hours... etc. i have tried almost everything i can think of.

the only "cure" that i found recently was after noon, giving her either carrots, sweat potatoes or squash stage 1 baby food. she then goes to sleep for anywhere from an hour to two hours.

i know many people will tell you that food this early is bad.. but to be honest ... she has started looking forward to it. when she wakes up from the afternoon long nap, she is so refreshed and actually stays awake for 4+ hours before wanting another cat nap.

Try having him sleep in a swing for naptime. You can keep it moving and he will take a good nap.

Hi A.: I would suggest a trip to the book store to purchase "The no-cry sleep solution" authored by Elizabeth Pantley. I think that it is a wonderful book. It is filled with information about your infants sleep needs and how to schedule your infant into a flexabible routine for nap times and how to follow this up with a nighttime sleep routine of only waking once a night. I am a grandmother and purchased this book for my daughter and have found it to filled with all the information you need to make sure your child gets the amount of sleep that they should be gettin at each stage of development.

Hi A., I would recommend letting him cry it out for a little longer in his crib. Babies will usually go to sleep on there own if you make them and he will eventually get in the rutine and understand when it is nap time. But it may take a few days. The biggest mistake you can make is letting him fall asleep in your arms or next to you every time (don't get me wrong it is the most wonderful thing in the world to snuggle up with your baby while he sleeps) But I did that with my two boys and one of them slept with me until he was 3yrs old and the other still likes to now and then and he is almost 5yrs old. With my daughter I put her in her own bed from day one and she is 3 yrs old right now and goes to bed on her own in her own bed. So I had to learn the hard way and I miss sharing a bed with my husband! So good luck to you I hope you figure out a good rutine soon.
A.

A.,
I used the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems with both of my kids and they both have been great sleepers since they were 3 months old. Four months is a tough spot because babies usually need to switch to a 4 hour feeding schedule. This was also around the time that mine had to learn to sleep without being swaddled. Anyway, on a 4 hour feeding schedule (if I remember correctly), you keep the baby awake for about 2 hours and then he sleeps for about 2 hours. I don't have the book handy to go into more detail, but I can't say enough good things about it. The author also talks about how to get your baby to sleep in the crib without having to cry it out. You can also check out babywhisperer.com for more info and message boards there about how to do the 4 hour schedule.
HTH! C.

Hi A.,

I would recommend reading a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I went through the same thing with my daughter and was at my wits end. Se would only go to sleep if she was on me and during the day sleep for no more than 30 minutes at a time.

I read several books and didn't like most of them because they were just someone's opinion on what you should do with your child (and Lord knows there is a million opinions out there) This book cited actual studies.

First it stated that a child does not get restorative sleep if they sleep less than 45 minutes at a time or while in motion (i.e. in a car or on your chest.)

Next, it recommended putting your child to bed earlier at night starting at 15 minute increments. My daughter went to bed between 8 - 8:30 at that time. She also would not go to sleep unless I was either holding her or laying right next to her. The book recommended letting her cry. I was extremely against the "cry it out" method, but because neither of us were getting any rest, I decided to try it. The first night she cried for 15 minutes (felt like 4 hours). The next night she cried for 5 minutes, and she has never cried after that. I gradually got her down to a 6:30 pm bedtime and because she was getting the rest she needed at night, she began sleeping alone and longer during the day. I guess when you are overtired, your body produces cortisol. This acts like adrenalin, making it harder to get to sleep. The more sleep you get, the easier it is to fall asleep. The book also recommended the cry it out method because children need to be able to self soothe. If they are always relying on someone or something (car ride, etc.) to soothe them to sleep, they will have sleeping problems the rest of their life. I've asked around and everyone I know with sleep problems as an adult, were not self soothed as children.

Anyway, my daughter is now 2 years and she goes to bed every night at 7 pm and takes a 2 - 3 hour nap a day.

I am a childcare provider and have recommended the book to my parents and also my sister and a couple of friends. They all say it was a lifesaver. It is a little boring, but worth the read. It also has different ages, so you can see what to expect as your child gets older. The one I bought is an older version and almost 500 pages. He has since come out with a revised version that is much shorter. Not sure what was omited, but if you can find the older version, that's the one I'd recommend. White cover, published in 2003.

Good luck!

E.

I also have a 4 month old and from what I have been reading it is normal for them to be doing what Anderson is doing. What some doctors recommend is letting them cry it out and they will go back to sleep. When Nathan was 3 months I started to be pretty strict about his morning nap schedule and used the same routine for his nap as I do for bedtime (except for his bath). He gets his bottle, his snuggly blanket, lullaby music and rocking in the glider. It took about 4 days of continuously doing this but now he takes his nap without a problem and if he doesn't get his nap he gets cranky. He will still wake up after about 30-45 minutes sometimes but I just don't go in there and I let him put himself back to sleep and within 10 mins at the most he is back to sleep for another 2 hours. I am sure that you know what his signs are when he is ready for a nap just watch them and you will begin to see what kind of schedule he has himself on. Babies pretty much put themself on a schedule and we just have to guide them a little bit. I hope this makes sense and helps you a lot.