Incorporating Children into a Wedding

Hello D.,

First congrats on the wedding to come.

Yes I was remarried and had kids and so did my man. We did short vows to each kid...promising to love and take care of them and unite our families as one. We also exchanged rings with the kids. If you have boys maybe a silver ring or silver chain....something that stands for unite...a cicle.
good luck and enjoy....

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Are you going to do a unity candle? Is there any way you can have the kids light it together instead of you and your fiance?

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D.; yes it can be hard to have them as bridesmaids etc, but you can in corporate them in by having family walk down the aisle when they reach the top they take a seat, some weddings grandma or grandpa , can walk, with younger ones, or the parents, they would be first down the aisle, the family, then they may take their seats, or they may remain standing while the rest of the processian came down the aisle, you can also have family boutineers, or flowers of some sort,and you can also put the family in the receiving line if you have one, i was at one wedding, where a small baby was involved, they decorated up a little wagon with white and lace, and had some older kids pull the baby down the aisle, and of course they sat down at front and the baby went to the mom or someone who could care for it, at the front, well any way just have fun ,and enjoy , D. s

My cousin recently got re-married and she has 2 children. She did have them stand up in the wedding ceremony, but I can understand if you can't. But what I thought was really special about her ceremony is that instead of the "unity" candle they each (bride, groom and the two children) had a jar of different colored sand (which were coordinated with the wedding colors as well) and instead of the unity candle ceremony, they poured their sands together into a very nice decorative glass bowl. The theory behind this is that each of them brings something different to the family (hence each of the different colors) and once they are combined they cannot be separated. They are a new family! I thought that was a very nice idea and that way the children were a part of the ceremony! Best wishes on your soon to be new marriage!

A friend of mine had their boys receive engraved bracelets during the ring part of the ceremony.

when a friend of mine got married, she had the kids from each side read a poem together during the ceremony and at the reception the new stepparent gave the kids a gift. (It was 4 girls, 3 from the bride, 1 groom, they got rings with the everyones birth stones, kind of like a mothers ring but a family ring and a private note engraved on the inside.)
In my friends case both were widowed so you wouldn't want to do anything to offend the bio. mother and father.

The sand sounds like a really cool idea too.

Good Luck and Congrats,
M.

Look up "The Family Medalliion" ceremony. This is what we used and it was nice. Also - letting them help in the planning process and being involved in that manner will also help with their buy-in. You are very smart to be having them be a part of this event!

I had 2 kids at the time i got married. My son walked me down the aisle and my daughter was a flower girl.
I have a friend that just got married and they used sand instead of a unity candle. Each of her three kids had a different color sad and the kids, groom and bride all poured them together. To signify their lives mixing together. Pretty cool idea!

CONGRATS D.! How exciting ... I too married for the 2nd time 9 1/2 yrs ago. We had a very small outdoor wedding and a backyard BBQ for the reception and what fun we had! I hope that your 2nd time around is as wonderful as mine has been.

Suggestions I might have is ... you could have your oldest son walk you down the isle and give you away. Your daughter & stepdaughter could be in charge of the "book" that folks sign in on when they come into the church. Your younger boys could be the ring bearers ... or it could be one of your sons and his son as ring bearers. The last boy could be the one to pass out rice or the bubbles to guests as they come in so guests could throw the rice or blow the bubbles after your ceremony.

Good luck and best wishes!
Blessings Always,
D.

Didn't get a chance to read all your responses, so I apologize if this is a duplicate! I have seen where they have a NICE clear glass bottle and each member of the family has a different color sand to pour in to the bottle with the parents (Bride and Groom) completing the fill up during their vows (or you 2 could be on the bottom and at the top, symbolizing how you will hold the family together; or some people let the sand colors mix to symbolize how everyone is coming togethr). Bride and Groom could each have their own colors or could share the same color representing their unity within the newly blended family. Good Luck and Congrats!

Hi D.! I am going to play off of another poster's great advice about a unity candle. Have you ever heard of a Unity sand ceremony? I went to a wedding where in lieu of a candle they had one big, beautiful glass vase and 3 other glass urns filled with different colors of sand (one color for bride, one for groom, one for God). The Bride and Groom poured the sand in the empty vase and it made a beautiful sand art display symbolizing how they were joined together.
You could have a different color of sand for you, your fiance and each of the kids (I know, it could be hard to find different colors for everyone) and you could pour them all together. Don't worry, there is no mess!
Congrats on your marriage!

I gave rings to my kids during the ceremony. They really enjoyed being a part of "our" big day. I say "our" cause really it is a family uniting, not just my husband and I. Good Luck with your decision.

You can have them give you away. You can include them in your wedding vows somehow etc. Give each an extra special gift or sofething they need to do for the wedding. You could have some of them be ushers etc.

You could have the older children setting people, the younger ones as flower girl and ring bearer and maybe a couple do the guest book. you could even have all 4 of your children walk up with you while his two stand up with him and give you to each other, then go sit down with grandparents. You could write a little piece for each of them to say... or let them write their own... like "I give my mom to you, to join us together as a family" Or whatever they want to say... they probably will come up with some witty and fun little thing or maybe some profound thing that will bring you each to tears. Just make sure it is approprate by having someone else (grandma or grandpa) hear it before hand.

Congrats on your upcpming wedding!
My fiance and I have a daughter together and he has a daughter from a previous relationship. They are each going to be flower girls but we are also doing a sand ceremony instead of a unity candle. I found a very nice set on ebay fo $50 that had our name and date on the large vase and then our individual names on the small vases. We are writing up something for the minster to read that basically states that we are uniting not just has husband and wife but as a family etc. I think it's a nice way to include the girls and they'll have the vases to keep as they get older also.
Good Luck and Congrats again :)

I like the unity candle idea. I have also seen where the children receive a piece of jewelry (necklace for girls, not sure about for boys) from the new step-parent at the time when the rings are exchanged...sort of like saying, "I am marrying you, as well as your mom/dad...we are now joined" - Congrats on your upcoming marriage!

For my wedding we did the sand ceremony. We didn't have any kids at the time but this will be nice. To make it even more special, you can let the kids pick out their colors. My husband and I did, black white and a tan color it looks nice and I just looked for a nice vase to put it all in. If you would like I am able to email you a pic of how it all turned out. The wax idea sounds really neat too.

You could give your step children a gift and your husband could give his soon to be step children a gift in front of everyone as well. I am not sure what you would give the boys though, you might want to look at different wedding websites for other ideas.

Good Luck

Have your kids give you away and have his give him to you. The minister can incorporate the appropriate language into the ceremony. They can come forward to do it and then return to their seats. Kids like to help serve at the reception, too.

My sister had her girls walk down the aisle right in front of her. Afterall they are "giving you away" also. Then she had them give their new stepdad a hug and then they sat down in the first row. You could do that and have the boys walk you down the aisle. Perhaps have them hand your groom a small note or such as they approach him (all of us bridesmaids handed my brother a lure, with a small personal note taped to it. He had NO idea he was getting that and it was hilarious. He was trying to hold onto them, the guests were laughing, and it turned out to be one of his highlights of his wedding, also this summer. Then he read the notes a couple of days later. He found it very moving and says he will always keep them. This is their only wedding and they have no kids, but a great suggestion you could have your kids do instead of your bridesmaids.) Please let us know what you decide. And congrats on your upcoming nuptials.