In a Weight-loss Rut. HELP ME!

Updated on May 23, 2012
A.K. asks from Minneapolis, MN
13 answers

My youngest DD is 15 months old (I'm still breastfeeding a few times a day and once during the night). I'm overweight and I just can't get motivated to do anything about it. In the past, weight watchers and group exercise classes at the YMCA has worked, BUT I am just so broke right now I can't afford either (no we don't qualify for the YMCA discounts, we make too much money. even though most of my income goes towards daycare). Here's my excuses:

I work 3 days a week plus one from home. When I am with my kids I want to be WITH my kids, not drop them off somewhere for someone to watch them while I work out. My little one is too little to go in our Burley so we can't bike for long distances, PLUS my bike tire is broken and we have no $ to bring it in to get it fixed. my oldest just learned how to ride a bike without training wheels so we can't go for LONG walks.

I have no time. I have no money.

I CRAVE carbs. seriously, sometimes I have a piece of buttered bread AFTER supper. WTH? WHO does that?!

I hate the way I look and it is seriously affecting me and hubby's 'love' life. (seriously, I wouldn't even want to have sex with me, I can't figure out why he does!)

Can someone help me figure out how to get motivated??

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Featured Answers

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

If you (or anyone else) are active on Facebook, search my online group for support: Be My Diet Buddy https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/150675968393009/ We provide online support for eachother because we know how hard it is. My advice is always: Baby Steps! Don't try to do too many changes at once. Good luck!!!

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T.M.

answers from Redding on

I think you know the answer.
Put in a dance vid and you and kiddos just dance for 30 minutes a day.
It's about exercise and portion control.
buttered bread will keep you fat unless you want to exercise harder.
You gotta love yourself enough to want to be healthy, there is no magic way to do it but to watch what you put in your mouth and to get a decent amount of cardio every day.
I'm saying this while my butt gets wider from sitting here. I did do my treadmill this morning for 30 mins, but I'm not consistent either, it's not easy!

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Any movement is good. Even 5 mins of tag inthe backyard or park.

Do you drink soda, could you cut back on that and add in water?

My library has work out DVD's that i' have borrowed in the past, Just have to make sure you get them back in time. but you could do those at home with the kids. Actually, i' have found some kids work out dvd's that are fun and i figure that counts.

any friends you could trade off babysitting work out time with, or even do together?

I'm thinking about seeing if my High School track is open over the summer, the kids could play in the grass in the middle and i could walk/trot around the track.

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

Check out www.myfitnesspal.com. It's free and very motivating!

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J.R.

answers from Davenport on

Unfortunately I am in your same position, except my youngest is 3 years old! I did work out at the Y for 6 months, from last August till Feb., and unfortunately, it did me absolutely NO good - didn't lose any weight or any inches. I got more discouraged and gave up and cancelled the membership. When I was doing it, it was great and easy to stick with, but only becasue my oldest was going to a preschool program there 3 days a week and so we had to drive there and be there anyway....youngest went to the babysitters there for an hour and a half while I exercised....now that precholl is over i don't have that auto-pilot reason.

It was hard to get motivated, but once I made it a habit, it was easy to follow through. I am stuck again now, I need to workout here, and i have all the stuff - videos, treadmill, bowflex, resistance bands; it 's getting started that is hard. Really all you need are good walking shoes & your feet to exercise. Unfortunately my kids are big enough they don't want to ride in the stroller, but still little enough they can't walk fast enough to keep up with me to give me a good workout.

I am going to the Dr. in 2 weeks (earliest appointment I could get) to see if there is something else going on - going from sedentary to 3x a week 1 hour long high energy aerobics plus weights SHOULD'vE changed something in 6 months....? Right? I am thinking Thyroid issues becasue of tiredness no weight loss and many other issues, plus family history.

I am a carbs and sweets craver and if they are here I will eat them, so I try not to buy them at all. You could maybe buy a type of bread you dislike, or supstitute a different type of snack, fruit or veggies with a hummus dip or something.

If you have done Weight Watchers in the past, you know how the system works, - just follow it yourself, without paying them the money and going to meetings, mayeb get a friend or 2 to do it with you. Have them walk with you too.....or see if you can trade off child care so each of you can go for a long walk alone each day??? Like you watch her kids in the AM and let her walk for 1 hour, and she watches yours in the PM and you walk for an hour???

As for the sex life, I know!!! - mine really sucked, I had to force myself to do it more for his sake/our relationship's sake - between my body image and the kids driving me nuts and just being tired, I was NEVER in the mood....I made myself "start" things with DH once a week at least, and after starting I would get in the mood as long as we made sure the kids were asleep first. He still finds me attractive at least, and although I don't, I have to get over it....I definitely try not to focus on me, but on him during that time.

I am with you sister - I don't want you to feel alone in this, like you are the only mom who doesn't have it together, I knowi sometimes feel like that - I am going to read all your answers and see if anything else sounds like a good way to motivate myself too!

Keep strong, and start small - even babysteps are at least in the right direction!

Jessie

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J.T.

answers from New York on

Well... only you can motivate yourself...

That being said... you have natural weight lifting equiment in your 15 month old! My daughter loved (and still loves at 4) lap rides. I put her on my legs (thighs - NOT THE KNEES) and bounce her up and down while singing kids songs. For some of them I bend my legs up with her on top of them, on others I rock backwards so my legs are straight up and my back is on the floor. Let me tell you, sitting back up really works the abs, and the bouncing really helps the legs and tush. As far as upper body, pick up your "weight" and hold her sideways using both arms. Then have her "fly" back and forth in your arms. She gets a fun ride and you work out your arms and your torso (trunk twists!). Tossing her gently and not too high in the air (if you and she are comfortable with that) helps your arms as well.

So lose weight and have fun - and don't be surprised if your heaiver "weights" want to join in the fun!!!!

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S.H.

answers from Phoenix on

The library has many workout videos that you can rent and do at home for a half hour while your kids are playing. Just an idea....

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

Put down the butter and step away from the fridge (lol - I am a butter junky too!!)
Start with drinking tons of water. like everytime you want your butter bread, go grab a glass and drink 8 oz (crystal light if you must). Start using your kid time to sneak in little work outs - like when you are playing on the floor with them, do 30 second planks. I love the idea of the dance video, etc. Yard play is a lot of fun. I started racing my kids (sadly some days I was trying my hardest and they still beat me - lol). the small bursts help get your energy up.
AND I seriously love all the work outs people pin on pinterest, but probably never do and YouTube work outs. there are some good ones out there and they are free, you can do em in your living room and your kids can play around you while you do them.
good luck! I know getting started is the hardest step!

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L.S.

answers from Lincoln on

I don't want to offend you...really I don't. But it sounds like you're giving up before you even start. If this is really important to you, you can walk with the family or do something. Play tag in the yard, I don't care! If you want it you will find a way...if not you will find an excuse. Drink more water in the evenings to help with your cravings. And cut down on your carbs. It gets easier over time. Start making a plan on things you WILL do better and stop making excuses.

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

A couple of things - first don't be so h*** o* yourself. It took me two years to lose weight after second child and I didn't even work!

Second, you can work out at home, in your garage or at the park with your kids. Lots of things you can do! There are plenty dvds you can get used or from netflix. You can take your kids to a track or park and walk or run sprints, do push ups, squats, crunches etc... Get a Buddy Lee jump rope. Best $25 you'll ever spend and you can take it anywhere. Look on Craigslist for a used running stroller. Save up for it or have a garage sale. I understand being tight with money - I had a free gym but no money for childcare after my two were born. We cut some things from our budget: cable was gone and gas budget got lowered. I walked everywhere. If you are working three days do you have a lunch break? Quick lunch and walk 20-30 min.

Third - the diet is going to be the most important. Count your calories. If you eat out or heat up pizzas, don't. There are many diet plans to try. A great one for me was The Zone diet because it is very simple a quick to learn, easy foods and it's not a crazy cut everything out diet. It's very healthy and balanced but measures everything. Also you don't have to buy the book. Go to the website for all the info and there is a list of foods you can print. I kept that on my fridge and used it to plan meals and grocery list. It's very easy!
I am like you and crave a lot. It is a sign of deficiency in your body. Your tired, breast feeding, working, momming, wifing. Take vitamins, drink water, sleep as much as you can. I always find when I'm in times of bad craving if I track everything I eat for a week or so and eat super healthy it just resets my body and I crave much less. Cut out everything processed (cereal, crackers, bread, snack bars) and eat meat, eggs, nuts, fruit and veggies for a week or so. Craving sweet? Eat fruit. Salt? Have some meat or nuts. That's what your body is really asking for. Plan easy snacks - carrots and hummus, string cheese, apples and peanut butter. I bet you will feel better and crave less if you can just do it for a short time.

Fourth, your husband loves you and your body the way you are. He probably thinks you are crazy for worrying about it. But I totally understand wanting to feel sexy again. It's really hard when you don't!

Lastly, in my never-ending post, Losing the weight takes making it the focus and priority. Not your only priority of course but you have to move it up the chain if you want it to happen. I figured this out after spending a year feeling the way you do right now. You have to MAKE the workout happen, you have to change what you eat. You have to leave the mental weakness and I can'ts behind you. You can. You can find the money, the time and the energy. You are strong enough to do it. Get a partner - it can really help. Someone to physically meet you at the park every day and do some sprints and lunges and pushups. 30 minutes every day. Schedule it.
Good luck!

Edit: I also have to ask since you say most of your money goes to childcare, can you stop work for a while? I sold my car so I could stay home and it was so worth it. It was a huge pay cut for us because I made more than him at the time but we have never suffered for anything. Now he makes plenty and I'm about to go back to work, but I had five years to just be with my babies. Do it if you can! My husband says "You can always make more money." :)

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M.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Take small steps and it will feel less overwhelming.

You are irritated with yourself for eating the bread after dinner. Can you replace that with a piece of fruit? (ie, a fat-free, fiber-rich carb with fewer calories) Can you slowly start to replace other carbs during the day with protein?

Can you pop the kids into the stroller and go for a 15-minute walk?

Can you ask your husband what is attractive about you and focus on that?

The walk will help more than anything, because the more active you are, the better you feel about yourself. Aerobic exercise outperforms antidepressants in studies (I'm not saying you're depressed, I'm just showing the power of exercise). You get to spend time with your kids, you don't have to set too high a bar for yourself, and it won't cost a dime!

And look at what you are doing--you're motivated enough to come on here and ask us, so you are getting closer to change! :)

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

you're on to something. Carbs make you crave carbs and make you sluggish.

If you just cut all carbs for 48 hours you would feel so much better. Add healthy, whole grain carbs back in after the initial cold turkey phase. That will mean no chips, fried foods, cokes, pre-packaged meals. That right there will jumpstart your weight loss.

Start fosucing on healthful eating for you and the kids. That is a natural, healthy way to not only lose weight but improve everyones health

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M.T.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi,

I haven't read the other answers, but the two things that have worked for me are:

1. Jillian Michaels 30 shred -- perfect for those of us with little time. She is a great motivator! If you don't want to spend $ on hand weights, start with cans of soup or tomatoes until you work your way up to higher weights. I hate working out, but I love doing 30 shred because I see and feel the results so quickly!

2. The 17-day diet -- this is from a book. I got the book pretty cheaply on Amazon, but you might even be able to get it at the library and just copy the portions you want. You will be amazed how quickly your body changes in just 17 days. I did it last spring and it was awesome. I felt so much better and fit in my old clothes again. You get used to it after a few days -- just make sure to stock up on the things you are allowed to eat a lot (carrot sticks, etc.) so you don't get hungry and cheat. And, then there are recommendations for what to do after the 17 days so you can stay healthy and keep up with it. I am due with my 3rd kid soon and I've already planned that the minute I stop breastfeeding, I am going on the 17-day diet to get my body back!

Good luck!!!!!

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