I'm Sorry but This Month STINKS! Does Anyone Else Agree?!

Updated on July 14, 2010
K.K. asks from Fredericksburg, VA
22 answers

It seems like this month is the month of bad news and just not good over all. My employer (I'm a nanny) decided to go on a family vacation for 2 weeks and not pay me at all for the time they were gone. I now am in just about the single digits in the bank account. My boyfriend broke up with me because he doesn't have the time for me. All this in one month and the months not even close to being over with!

Sorry but I just had to vent! Anyone else having a hard time this month?

Thanks!
K.

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So What Happened?

Thank you ladies for all the help! I must stick it out for now at the job I have (as a nanny) until I can find another family to work for or something else. I am already signed up for 18 hours of dance per a week and the pay is very good...So I will stick with that for fall and do the occasional babysitting as well. As far as everything else, I'm just keeping strong. I actually had time to myself yesterday. I went for a swim, probably was the most relaxing thing I've done in a year! I went to the pool by myself did a few laps and lounged around. I think we all need time to ourselves. It really helped and all of your advice helped!

Hoping next month is better! :)

Thanks ladies!!!!

Featured Answers

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S.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Things will get better, believe me. I have gone through trying times recently, too. And they passed. Always remember, it's temporary. But continue to vent. It does help.

1 mom found this helpful

L.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

The good thing about bad months is they make the good ones seem so much better... here's hoping for a great august for you!

1 mom found this helpful

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Just before every paycheck we are in the single dollar range. It is no fun. Everything will work out. It always does. Think positive!

4 moms found this helpful

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Misery loves company, but I'm not joining in. K., get yourself another job! In places like southern california and new york you would be paid well. Look around.

3 moms found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Detroit on

Too bad you don't live in Michigan... I need a nanny/sitter full time because mine is bailing on me. I always paid her if I got paid... i.e. During our Christmas shutdown, she got paid even though she wasn't taking the kids. If we went on vacation, we got paid... So did she. If SHE called me saying she couldn't watch them for some reason, she didn't get paid... because I don't get paid when I call off of work.

I think it's fair...

But yes, this month is kind of sucky... Losing my sitter of 2yrs. and trying to find someone else. It's extremely frustrating.

And if your bf broke up with you because he doesn't "have the time"... he sucks and he's not worth it. He's full of poo.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Nah--for me JUNE was a train wreck! LOL
My husband's alternator died, leaving us stranded in the rain, my car's battery went dead, someone intercepted our credit card# online, my son had hand, foot and mouth disease.....I was SO happy to flip the calendar to July!
Hang in there!

2 moms found this helpful
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D.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'm sure things could be worse.......we have no income coming in, are over 50 and no one calling for interviews............so see, someone is always worse off than you are..........

Venting is good........now, pick yourself up, look at the positive things in your life and hang in there.

Take care.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

K.,
If you have a good relationship with the family you nanny if I were you I would renegotiate a paid vacation period as part of your salary for the new yr. It is not fair to you to go unpaid when they leave town. As for the boyfriend, it sounds like he is not a great loss if the reason he broke up is his lack of time to spend with you. His priorities are elsewhere which is not what you want in a boyfriend. You can find someone better and more caring than he was. You might see if there are any temp nanny services out there to work for in the future if you are not able to negotiate some paid time off. Are you going to school? Pursue your education if you are not. If you love working with young young children look into classes at a local college or community college in Early Childhood Education. I got my teaching certificate in only 1 1/2 yrs of night classes and there were many young people in my classes who were day-time nannies wanting to better themselves. Getting the education to teach will ensure that you get a better job with benefits and a more regular schedule. Just another random thought...when I am down I think of the great things I do have in my life. I count my blessings at these times the most, it can be hard to do, but imagine all of the people living in Haiti and on the Gulf coast of the US and the hardships they are facing with the loss of their livelihoods. Their challenges makes my life look rosey. Good luck 2U

1 mom found this helpful

W.L.

answers from Dallas on

K., that is so unfair of your employer to do that. While I am sure you are enjoying your time off, lack of money can really make for a miserable time. I wonder why they didn't prepare you ahead of time for this. Is this a new employer? I think I would sit down and make a list of issues that need to be covered before some thing like this happens again.

As far as your boyfriend, I am so sorry to hear about the breakup, but it sounds like he wasn't much of a boyfriend in the first place and you probably deserve better anyway.

Good luck to you and feel free to VENT anytime. We all need it from time to time.

1 mom found this helpful
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M..

answers from Cleveland on

I agree this month stinks! I can relate! I have started working from home. While I love working and I am getting so much done, I feel like a terrible mom! My poor baby is not getting as much attention from me as she is used to. Its been an adjustment. Plus we are gearing up to move soon. That means cleaning, throwing out junk, the wonderful search for a new home etc. Then, on top of all that, I have had some family issues. I just seem to be let down time after time by my family members.

But, on the plus side I am earning extra money by woking from home and my daughter has really been amazing about learning to play by herself and amuse herself. She turns two this month, so we have a huge bday bash planned at my in-laws house. While my family may suck big time, my in-laws are awesome and treat us (especially my daughter) like gold. My husband got an amazing promotion at his job. Moving sucks, but I am super excited about moving back home and so happy to get out of this dumpy town I live in. All my friends are waiting for me to move home, so I can't wait!

You have to try to find the silver lining. Venting does help though! Just remember, you are healthy and things could always be worse. And remember, God does answer parayers, so pray pray pray! Good luck and I hope you hit an upswing soon! Hang in there!

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I am sorry for your bad month.

Keep in mind that after every storm there is a rainbow!! Here's looking to a great August.

Also remember that it could be worse so switch to the positive outlook and keep going!

1 mom found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Provo on

This month has been craptacular. I am a single mom and have been going back to school so I applied for daycare assistance. I was told my the first lady I talked to and my sister (who also is a single mom and knows the system well) that as long as you are in school, they will cover daycare for that time. Low and behold they wont unless I'm working 15 hours a week, which I have been trying to find a job, but you all know it's really hard. Before I knew this I started to put my son into daycare for a few hours a day while I'm at school with the assurance that I would be covered. So now I'm screwed there.
My son and I had the stomach bug that has gone around, and he still has diarehha from it and still have to wait a few more days if it's bad then I can take him in. I'm super lonely, my friends have abandoned me or moved away with their hubbies to med school, My birthday was non existent, I'm broke and my ex is grippig me about claiming child support and now he has no money (I don't feel bad for him though)
All in all I feel your pain. We can suffer together.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

Yep. My cousin celebrated his 36th birthday yesterday, 1 week after being diagnosed with stage 3 esophageal cancer. It has a very low survival rate. He and his wife just had their second child 3.5 weeks ago.

My family is rallying around them, planning trips to see him and anything he needs (~7 hour trip). Only my mom and 1 sister came to see me when I was diagnosed with cancer after the birth of my second child 2 years ago. Feels like a dagger in my back. I know I shouldn't feel this way, just reaffirms me being the black sheep in the family despite overcoming a serious health issue.

Hoping your month gets better quickly!

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

!

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

poor K.. i remember your post about your crappy employers. i hope you kick them to the curb.
i know you're venting and probably don't really want sunshine splattered all over you right now, but i'll offer this up for consideration for when you're feeling a bit better. this past lousy month is offering you great opportunities to make yourself a better LIFE, not just a better month. you are definitely in need of a career overhaul, and there are families out there who will be pleased to have a conscientious caring nanny. it is time for you to get out of your current situation. yay for this family for finally pushing you over the edge!
and who needs a BF who is that callous? good riddance to him too.
what a great time for you! you get to start from scratch without all these worthless encumbrances weighing you down! whoo hooo!
:) khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Boston on

You don't even want to know what my family has been through this month. I cannot wait for August to get here and hopefully have good times ahead of us.

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L.N.

answers from New York on

it's been a bad year for me.

E.C.

answers from Dallas on

K.,

As a nanny you schould have a contract. It has to state the days they would not need you such as vacation. 90% employers for nannies pay them for vacation pay!

I would relook at your family you work for

**** I ran a daycare with 300 kids, now run a babysitting service of 30 families and have been a nanny for years!

B.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

If THEY went on vacation they still need to pay you. You would have come to work but they are not there.

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I understand. It seems really hard right now, but this is life. I tend to use bad situations to teach me something. In the case with your employer, I'd use this experience to either renegotiate or spell out my employment terms via contract as a courtesy to avoid miscommunication in the future. You can ask for this diplomatically, if you want to keep this job. I'd remember this experience so that I would never again accept a job without a contract that spells out how we will handle vacations, sick leave, annual leave, health benefits, my own emergencies, etc. I'd also look at this experience as something that helped me learn the importance of setting aside a real emergency account, one I don't touch unless a disaster happens. Anything could happen. What happens if your family loses income and must let you go? How much notice would you get? Some months are good, some bad; some years are good, some bad. It's all a big cycle.

On the plus side, there are some fun moments and blessings along the way. Count your blessings that your bf was honest before making the disasterous mistake of marriage-then flaking out. Blessing #2: at least you don't have a child by him and with his still disappearing. Blessing #3: if he wasn't making time for you, what kind of relationship was that? Good riddance. Use this as a way of knowing what kind of relationship you want in a spouse, someone plugged in who is mature and ready for a commitment. I'd watch a person's character in the future before getting too emotionally involved.

Life is hard, but it's rewarding, fulfilling and exciting, if you look at things differently. Good news is you still have a job. Tighten your belt to get through those two weeks w/o pay by eating Ramen noodles w/frozen veggies, tuna, PJ sandwiches, or cereal, request payment plans or delay payment on the bills you can, and make sure you renegotiate terms when your employers come back. Meanwhile, be looking for other employment options if the family is unwilling to prevent a similar situation in the future. That was inconsiderate and they should understand and respect that your request for terms is to organize your own life.

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S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Have you talked with your employer? Standard practice is that if you have a full-time nanny and go on vacation without her, you pay her the regular salary. The only time you do not pay is if you have agreed, ahead of time, not to pay when the nanny goes on vacation. What was your original agreement and do you have it in writing?

Sorry to hear you broke up with your boyfriend, but a man worth having is one that MAKES time for you. It may seem like doors are closing but just wait the right ones will open when it is the right time. Good luck!

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M.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Some months or years are like that. Hang in there!

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