37
answers
R.L.
asks from
Plainfield, IL
on
October 18, 2010
Im Going to Be Nursing by New Baby, but What Do I About My 8 Year Old Son?
I plan on nursing my new baby whose due in December. My son will be 8 years old. I nursed him until he was almost 2. My son knows that I nursed him and understands how it works. I'm not concerned that he's going to want to try to nurse. What I'm concerned about is wheter or not I should be covering up when I nurse my baby. I know it's a natural thing, but my son is getting to the age of being curious about the other sexes body. What do you think? Cover up or not?
Featured Answers
M.K.
answers from
Kansas City
on
October 18, 2010
My oldest is 7 and he has watched me both breastfeed and pump for his 3 year old brother (when littler) and his now 7 month old brother. He knows that this is how many babies (not all) eat and thinks that 'mommy milk' is gross! But the act itself? He never had/has a problem with it. In fact, he thinks so LITTLE of it that he forgets to ask to bring playmates into the house and exposes me to his little friends!! It embarrasses me a little but the kids don't bat an eyelash.
4 moms found this helpful
M.S.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 20, 2010
I would cover up. I don't think any 8 year old boy wants to see their moms boob(for any reason)! :)
G.S.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
Haven't read the other answers but this is the reason I exculsively pumped with my daughter. Also I was HUGE so that may make a difference. My vote is cover up.
More Answers
K.G.
answers from
Dallas
on
October 18, 2010
I don't think you should cover up. Nursing is a perfectly normal thing, as is the human body, which your son will eventually know all about. I think it's better her learn it more realistically and scientifically from you as opposed to all of his schoolmates.
Just my opinion.
10 moms found this helpful
L.A.
answers from
Austin
on
October 18, 2010
Just act as natural as it is. Then he will not think there is any shame or anything titillating about it.
7 moms found this helpful
B.W.
answers from
Minneapolis
on
October 18, 2010
I wouldn't worry about it. You are feeding the baby .If you make a big deal out of it, he will think its wrong or will be more curious. My oldest is 8.5 and still shows no issues seeing a mom nurse, or me just out of the shower, etc. Nurse your baby comfortably, but don't go to great lengths to cover yourself, its not necessary.
7 moms found this helpful
K.E.
answers from
Buffalo
on
October 18, 2010
No, I would not cover up. My son was 7 when my daughter was born and he thought nothing of it and just went on him marry way as I nursed.
When he gets older he willnot be so curious if he runs into a mom nurding in public he will recognise this as a natural and normal behavior.
Congrats.
ADDED: Let me ask those who have an issue with descrete public nursing. Do you cover your bottle? If you can wip out a bottle then why not nurse. i find it offensive when a mom is descretly covered as best as her and her baby can tolerate and somone says you should go in the bathroom and do that, hey would you eat your dinner on the toilet? Nursing should be looked at no differently as a bottle. It is not sexual it is functional!!! If your hubby was there then I can see the issue.
7 moms found this helpful
S.S.
answers from
Goldsboro
on
October 18, 2010
I wouldn't cover up unless it seems to make your son uncomfortable. As long as you don't make a big deal of it, I don't think he will either.
5 moms found this helpful
J.W.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
I agree with other posters that you shouldn't cover up. Breastfeeding is perfectly natural and something you don't really see in the media. How else are little boys and girls supposed to know that breasts aren't exclusively sexual objects. I think you would give your son a balanced view of the female body that will go far in the long run. If he happens to bring it up to his friends, it would be in the context that you are feeding his sibling - not that you are doing anything wrong or shameful that necessitates covering up. I think there's a big difference between lifting your entire breast out of the top of your shirt vs. what some of the other posters said (wearing a nursing tank and pulling up a shirt so that the whole breast isn't exposed). That said, the American culture can be very Victorian - and you can see that from many of the women who posted on here who are uncomfortable seeing other women nurse. It is up to us to normalize breastfeeding and teach the future generation that women's bodies are more than just sexual and that breasts really were designed for feeding babies. After all, we don't shield our kids' eyes from cow udders, do we? :) I think we should be more concerned with our kids watching Britney Spears videos than seeing a woman breastfeed her child, LOL! Anyway, by being open about nursing, you are teaching your son how to be a good Dad too :) Best of luck!
5 moms found this helpful
M.K.
answers from
Kansas City
on
October 18, 2010
My oldest is 7 and he has watched me both breastfeed and pump for his 3 year old brother (when littler) and his now 7 month old brother. He knows that this is how many babies (not all) eat and thinks that 'mommy milk' is gross! But the act itself? He never had/has a problem with it. In fact, he thinks so LITTLE of it that he forgets to ask to bring playmates into the house and exposes me to his little friends!! It embarrasses me a little but the kids don't bat an eyelash.
4 moms found this helpful
B.B.
answers from
Dallas
on
October 18, 2010
I would NOT cover up. This is why BFing makes people so uncomfortable, b/c breasts are seen as sexual objects, not what they were designed for! I think if we can normalize it as much as possible, especially with our kids (no matter what their age!), then they will see it as a normal thing and not think anything of it to see a woman BFing. I do also believe in some discretion, though. At home, yes, I may just pop my boob out to BF my baby in front of DH and my ODS (who is 3.5). But in public or around anyone else, I BF discreetly without a cover. I always wear a tank under my shirt (so my belly isn't exposed!), and lift up my top, so nothing is even seen, unless one is looking too closely.
I love that my 3.5 y/o son knows that boobs are for BFing! If he happens to notice boobies (what he calls them) on some picture or somewhere, I ask him what they are for. He always answers "baby eat boobies" (he has a speech delay, so he uses simple phrases still...he means that babies eat from boobies!). I know he will grow up knowing that breasts are first and foremost for nourishing babies.
If we hide our BFing, then we will be right back where everyone is uncomfortable with it (and many still are). If kids are comfortable with it now, then they will be comfortable with it as adults.
4 moms found this helpful
R.L.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
Please don't cover up too much. Covering up would send the wrong message to your son about women, breasts, and our bodies. Our oldest was 7-8 when I was nursing our youngest, and he was always comfortable with it. Nothing wrong with curiosity about our multi-functional bodies. Here's an opportunity to help balance the images of women's breasts from television, advertising, etc., that he is already being bombarded with, with an image of what else breasts can be useful for.
3 moms found this helpful
T.T.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
i wouldnt. that is what breasts are for and what a great lesson to teach your child! also the chances of your baby letting you use a cover the entire nursing process is slim to none so i wouldnt bother. he is going to learn that the primary purpose of a breast is to nourish a child, not something that is a sexual object.
3 moms found this helpful
D.B.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
I am honestly appalled to see how so many women are still so freaked out by nursing. I would say why go to great lengths to cover up? I know both of my children HATED not being able to see me when I nursed them. We don't throw a blanket over a baby drinking a bottle, right? This is why bottle feeding has become a norm, and the most natural thing has become so out there. By covering you are teaching your son that nursing is something to hide and is not natural. That is what breasts are actually for. You're not abusing him if he sees a baby nursing. Children are inappropriately exposed to breasts all day every day, so why take the one opportunity where it would be appropriate and hide it? It's nonsense.
3 moms found this helpful
B.M.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 18, 2010
My boys are 7 and 4 and I have a 3 month old. We are very open with our boys about breast feeding and they were curious at first. I do not cover up while I am in the privacy of my own home. The boys are used to it.
I think that as long as you are open with your son about what you are doing and that its perfectly normal. It might also be a good time to talk about how our bodies are different.
When I was pregnant, my 7 year old had MANY questions about the baby and how it got in there. We gave him a very pg rated answer, but still giving him enough information rather than brushing him off with "childish" answers.
This may be an excellent learning (and bonding) experience for all of you!!
Congratulations on your new baby.
3 moms found this helpful
K.T.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
no way! Kids (and adults!) totally need to see that breastfeeding is a normal thing, and that breasts aren't just sexualized objects. If it's "normal" to you then it will be "normal" to him. If he's curious, I would just answer his questions honestly. Hopefully this will help him in his understanding of a female's body, and help him to support the mother of his own kids in her breastfeeding someday.
3 moms found this helpful
J.P.
answers from
Boise
on
October 18, 2010
I think it is what you are comfortable with. When my niece saw me nurse she asked questions, and my sister was fine with me answering them. My 2.5 yo son is now asking questions, and I am fine with it. If the baby unlatches for a moment though, he will tell me to close my boob (his way of saying cover up). He understand that that is how I feed her, and knows that girls get boobs, boys don't. I am very comfortable with him knowing that this is natural and that I shouldn't be embarrassed by it.
2 moms found this helpful
D.P.
answers from
Pittsburgh
on
October 18, 2010
I think with an 8 yo boy, I'd cover up.
2 moms found this helpful
G.T.
answers from
Bakersfield
on
October 18, 2010
I dont think he needs to see your tit hanging out entirely, I'd keep it veiled, the occasional looks see is not bad while you are getting into position but I'd keep it covered after that. I often wore tshirts and the tshirt covers the boob and tucks nicely under babies head. After you son sees it a couple of times he's not gonna pay it any mind after that anyway.... you dont have to be too modest, he is only 8 and I'm sure it wont bother him one way or another.
1 mom found this helpful
W.H.
answers from
Phoenix
on
October 18, 2010
I would cover up and be modest. Don't freak about him catching a glimpse but don't expose yourself either. Act natural and discreet.
1 mom found this helpful
J.K.
answers from
Atlanta
on
October 18, 2010
I agree with one poster -- see how your new baby is first, and also how your son reacts. If he gets shy or upset, but you cannot cover baby, you might need to turn your back or use another room with the door open so you can still talk with your boy without his embarassment. How is he now with you being naked, using the restroom or showering around him ? That would give you some baseline to work with.
Congratuations:)
1 mom found this helpful
S.T.
answers from
New York
on
October 18, 2010
See how your sons feels about it. Tell him that you'll be nursing the baby and there may be times when you mightl be kind-of showing a little but not a lot. Say " I know that you're pretty smart and realize that this is how a lot of babies are fed - but not everyone is comfortable with it. What do you think is a good way to nurse around people?" Deflect the idea of discomfort to "other people". Ask him - some people may feel uncomfortable around a mom who is nursing her baby - what do you think I should do? Put a cloth over my shoulder and the baby's head to cover up or not? You'll get an idea of what he thinks. I have a feeling that however you start the process he'll get so used to it that he won't notice it after a week or so and you'll be able to nurse anyway you want.
1 mom found this helpful
J.C.
answers from
Anchorage
on
October 18, 2010
I would. My sons are 5 and 6, and I have started to explain to them that since we are different mommy now needs privacy when she is changing ect... I think this would go with nursing as well. It is a natural thing, but my feeling is that others do not need to see my breasts regardless of whether what I am doing with them is natural. Ask your self this. If a friend of yours came over and took her breast out in front of your child, would you be comfortable with that? I know I would not.
1 mom found this helpful
B.G.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
I have 5 & 7 yr old boys...I definitely don't "flaunt" it but I nurse around them all the time and there is no longer anything too curious about it. I think it gives them a healthy view of a woman's body, that it is functional as well as beautiful :).
1 mom found this helpful
G.S.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
Haven't read the other answers but this is the reason I exculsively pumped with my daughter. Also I was HUGE so that may make a difference. My vote is cover up.
D.M.
answers from
Denver
on
October 18, 2010
I suggest you wait to see what kind of nurser your baby is before you decide how to handle this. It may be easy to cover up. It may not. If it's easy to be discrete, that's great but if it's not, you'll have to take it as it comes.
When my now 9 month old was born, he'd only nurse if I lay down with him in a dark room! He'll nurse anywhere now, but he's always unlatching so it's hard to be discrete. My now 6 year old nursed well & it was easy to be discrete.
When I nursed the baby in our main room, my two year was more concerned about my exposure than my 6 year old, but I think he believed my breast was out by accident (he's big into putting things away: ) Neither the 2 nor the 6 year old really even notice anymore.
M.K.
answers from
Los Angeles
on
October 18, 2010
LOL to grandma T - I have an 8 year old son, and he does not want to see my breasts - they are kept covered for modesty - if I get out of the shower and he comes in, I will put my hands over them.
Whne I breast fed my daughter (now 2), I would drape a very light blanket over myself, yes cover up - it is a natural act, but I would not walk around walmart doing it.
Z.B.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
i think totally depends on your child and your situation. i was wondering the same thing for myself lately because my son will be almost 8 when the new baby is born and i plan on nursing. i plan to have an open dialogue with him about it ahead of time and he does know that he was nursed and that is why women have breasts. i don't think he will have a problem with it as much as maybe i might. every family and every dynamic is personal and you need to do what works best for your situation. good luck and congratulations!!
M.T.
answers from
Austin
on
October 18, 2010
I recently went through the exact situation. My son now 9 and my youngest 18 months. I breastfed for the first 6 to 7 months and thought my son would freak out but it really didn't bother him. I tried staying covered for the most part but not always easy. If we were at home I would use my shirt to help cover my breast but my older son never really cared. He would ask questions like, how does a mom's body know to make milk? or "how does your body know how much milk to make? I tried to explain things as best as possible and I think since I never made a big deal about feeding from my breast I think that in turn made it not such a big issue for him. If we had company then I went an extra mile and added a blanket to help cover up but my son hated anything over him that made him hot.
J.F.
answers from
Philadelphia
on
October 18, 2010
I would cover up when he is around, I think he is at an age where he doesn't need to see boobs where a younger child wouldn't care. You can drape a baby blanket over your should and still nurse while he is in the room.
My kids are 9,8,and 6 and I am always talking about privacy. Oh course I'm not preg and they are all girls, just what I would do.
Congrats on your new baby! I have a Dec baby too, it will be here before you know it.
K.N.
answers from
Peoria
on
October 19, 2010
I nursed my 3rd child (a girl) when my boys were almost 8 and 6. But I was very modest about it. I wouldn't just let your boob hang out all over place but cover with your shirt or a blanket.
B.M.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
I think by the age of 8 years old, they get a little too curious, and talk to their friends at the lunch table. I would cover up.
P.O.
answers from
Harrisburg
on
October 18, 2010
I would cover up for an 8yr old. At 4 or 5yrs old, you could probably get away with it, but at 8yrs old, they are aware of the difference between milk from mommy and breasts on a woman!
M.R.
answers from
Dallas
on
October 18, 2010
My son was 2.5 when I had my daughter and I breastfed her openly in my home. He was so curious about her and wanted to help take care of her. He wanted to help feed her too. He had to settle with sitting close and watching her nurse. He would "help" by helping hold her head up. It was really cute actualy.
M.N.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 18, 2010
I think it depends on the situation or place that your at. I have a 17 year old step son and I cover up when hes around. Otherwise if its just myself and my family I just nurse. I think when you have the baby you will figure what your comfortable with and what your not. Nursing your baby is going to show that the breast is important in feeding a child...
M.S.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 20, 2010
I would cover up. I don't think any 8 year old boy wants to see their moms boob(for any reason)! :)
T.F.
answers from
Dallas
on
October 18, 2010
I would cover up. I did not BF though.
It bothers me to see someone flip a boob out in public and start nursing............which I am sure you are not talking about.... but then I have no issue going to a topless beach and seeing boobs, I get topless too.
He knows about bodies if he is 8. Be open, honest and communicate with him. Get a feel for how he feels about it then move forward.
Congratulations !!
D.V.
answers from
San Francisco
on
October 18, 2010
I didn't read to many of your answers but I so feel you on this one. I have a 7 year old step son, when i had my son a year ago my step son was VERY curious about the whole nursing thing since his Mom didn't nurse him. I was a bit uncomforatble about it at first, didn't want him in the room and etc. But as my Son got older, i was a bit more relaxed but still not to the point where i'd let him sit and watch. If he walked in and out of the room, or came to talk to me while i was nursing ( me and baby covered with a blanket, and him on the other side of the room) i was find with that! its natural and i didn't want my SS to feel uncomfortable it was me. So try it out alone at first- then see how it goes :)
C.F.
answers from
Chicago
on
October 19, 2010
Cover, I breast feed all 3 of my children and there is 10 years between my first and the last. Yes, breast feeding is natural but does not have to be overly exposed for lack of a better phrase. My boys were 10 and 6 when I had my daughter and they knew all about breast feeding. Your son should be fine just be modest.
S.H.
answers from
Honolulu
on
October 18, 2010
My daughter is about to turn 8... if I were in your situation... I would just nurse my baby. My daughter knows she was breastfed and she self-weaned at about 2.5 years old.. she knows what breastfeeding is. Its not a big deal to her.
For your son, go by his cues. Bottom line. And by how open or not or comfortable your family is with it.
But sure, get a nursing apron... for when you are out with your baby. It is useful, anyway. Anywhere.
all the best,
Susan