24 answers

If Your Child Did This....

hello!

We have a ton of sleepovers at our home....

if your child wet the bed (soaked it) at a friends house - would you buy a new mattress?
if they broke a lamp or something else would you replace it?

One of my GFs son's wet the bed (really bad - soaked it) and I feel funky that she's replacing the mattress...we have the $$$ for it but she insisted...I TYPICALLY have the waterproof pads/covers on - but I had taken it off for some reason!! URGH!!!

Our boys have broken toys at other friends house (including hers) and we've replaced it....isn't that typical?

No, my boys don't break things with malice - they are like me and could break a bowling ball!

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What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

The boy is 10 years old....he's TOTALLY embarrassed by this...it's happened before - but NEVER to this extent and I can't tell you why I took the waterproof mattress pad off...any way - she INSISTED...I didn't tell her to "guilt" her into it...this was the first time he had EVER wet the bed this bad (I'm serious - it SOAKED it through and was on the floor) - we had to throw the mattress out and we were planning on buying a new one ourselves....and I wanted to make sure he was OKAY...he comes over often enough that we have a package of pull ups for him here...her kids are like mine - I've known them since they were born and we do a lot of things together....

As to kids breaking stuff...my boys broke a controller for the Wii game - you know how it gets, he didn't have it strapped around his wrist and it flew off when he swung the "bat" - thank God he didn't hit the TV or anything more serious....while I know that stuff happens, things like that - I would and have replaced things...

Anywho - i feel funky still that she's replacing the mattress. I like the idea of taking her out to lunch or something while the kids are in school....thanks!

Tara - YES! We are replacing the mattress - it was SOAKED through! I am NOT going to "wrap it" and let it mold out...I'm not going to "hide" the smell either - it is sooo NOT sanitary!

Featured Answers

The mattress is a tough call because, really, with young kids staying over you should have had a protector on it. but if she is insisting I guess I would let her cover half the cost.

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I would replace the mattress AND add a waterproof mattress cover!
I would also replace the lamp.
Yes, it's typical.

2 moms found this helpful

If my son soaked someone's mattress, I think I'd feel compelled to replace it.

Toys, more circumstantial. If it was broken with malice, yes. If broken in the midst of group play, maybe not so much.

A lamp or something, I'd definitely offer.

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More Answers

First of all, I have a waterproof mattress pad on all of our beds. It is more than worth the $20-40!
Luckly my kids haven't broken/ruined anything except at home and no one had broken/ruined anything significant here. I can't predict how I will handle it when it happens. I think it's very circumstantial.

4 moms found this helpful

Gosh the mattress thing is a tough call. They should have kids mattresses covered to start with. We all should just to keep dust mites off, but with kids you need to protect it from those occasional wet nights. But maybe offer to take half the cost of a new one, after all the mattress probably wasnt brand new so why should you get a new one when in all reality, your kid probably peed in it before. (just guessing)
As for breaking the toys, I say thats the way it goes unless he was slamming it to the ground over and over on purpose being nasty and the mom saw and tried to stop him. I figure if kids are at my house its my responsibility to keep an eye on them so they dont hurt themselves or my things. If I dont watch them well enouh then its my problem.
My son was about 12 when he was at a friends house tossing a ball and batting it out into the yard. They were pitching to eachother right in front of the big living room window. (where was the other mom?) My son hit the ball everytime but when the other kid took his turn, my son pitched to him, and the kid missed the ball, and the ball broke the window. They called all upset and in a panic to let us know they had already called an emergency 24 hour repair place to come right then and replace the window. I pictured a huge gaping hole with glass all over the room. They wanted our insurance info or cash up front! We just couldnt afford what they were pretty sure it would cost and we gave insurance stuff to them. We went over to get our son and saw the window. It had a tiny crack in one bottom corner and had only damaged the one pane of a dual pane window! They were all worked up over the cold air that might get in and the way it made their house look like the ghetto and how out of control our son must have been! Geesh talk about out of control drama! Our insurance ended up covering a brand new window for them including the emergency call fee,and we had to pay the $500 deductible. We did tell our son he should say he was sorry and his comment was, "Sorry the window got broke, but if your kid could hit the ball it wouldnt have happend". We just smiled and wallked away.

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I would replace the mattress AND add a waterproof mattress cover!
I would also replace the lamp.
Yes, it's typical.

2 moms found this helpful

Wow! What a great friend to understand that her son damaged property and that it needed to be replace. A bed is elemental, it is a place where someone sleeps. As a mom, I wouldn't want anyone's kid to have to sleep on a bed my kid had soaked in pee. I'd likely do the same thing (replace the damaged property). Maybe you could do a 'best friend treat' with the money you saved and go do something fun you two enjoy. You don't have to tell her it was a "thanks", but just to show your appreciation for her being such a good friend to you.

2 moms found this helpful

If my son soaked someone's mattress, I think I'd feel compelled to replace it.

Toys, more circumstantial. If it was broken with malice, yes. If broken in the midst of group play, maybe not so much.

A lamp or something, I'd definitely offer.

2 moms found this helpful

I think it's a little overkill to replace a whole mattress b/c of one pee-pee, but maybe it is super gross and ruined. If it's ruined, let her do it if she's being really nice about it. I'd probably try to do something really nice in return, to show her how much you appreciated it. Maybe take her out for a really good lunch.

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The mattress is a tough call because, really, with young kids staying over you should have had a protector on it. but if she is insisting I guess I would let her cover half the cost.

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I'm not sure what I'd do.

We have little cousins who visit, they're potty trained but still have the occasional accident, I've had my rug and couch peed on before. I've always just grabbed the steam cleaner and cleaned it. I've never expected them to replace anything and they've never offered. I mean, it's going to happen from time to time, I assume if my kids do it at their house it'll be handled the same way. I kind of feel that you should have had the waterproof cover on the mattress in the first place. She obviously really feels bad about it and it's nice that she's replacing it.

1 mom found this helpful

Yes, it's polite to replace toys, lamps and mattresses, now matter how much $ you make or don't make.

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Nope I would not offer to replace it but I would feel horrible!! I would offer some money to clean it or get a mattress pad (which wouldn't have mattered) and I would do the same thing if my child broke something at their house.

That being said, I would not take any money if their child did it, either. But if she's insisting, what can you really do? You don't want to offend her. She probably is just really embarrased for her son. Great friend, though, to offer that!

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I think that they are embarrassed and good friends and want to make good on the loss. If she insists, then perhaps pick out a mattress and tell her a "sale price" on it and she can reimburse you some but not all. That way everyone feels better. I think this is one of those moments where you need to let the giver give and be a gracious recipient.

1 mom found this helpful

If my child wet the bed, I would offer to pay to have the mattress cleaned. I would assume if the parent was telling me they wet the bed, it was because they wanted me to compensate them in some way. But I agree that when you invite kids over, you are prepared for the messes they will make and as the responsible adult, the supervision to make sure they don't break things. If the occasional toy did get broekn, and the parent told me, I would replace.

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if you break something at someones house, or your kid soaks a mattress, you replace it, simple concept..its called courtesy
K. h.

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I'd definately offer if my child did it, but if that happened with someone else's kid at my house, I wouldn't want the other parent to feel obligated. I'm sure at some point in time my kids will 'return the favor', LOL!!

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I wouldn't think to replace a mattress (unless the parents were going to replace it due to that, then I would feel like paying for it or at least paying for half if they refused full price). But a broken toy or item, I would replace.

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for the most part "you break it you bought it" ... but that is another reason why I am not big on sleepovers.

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I found an old post about how to clean a wet mattress:
http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/1631238677596274689
Unless it was fully immersed in a flooding incident it's probably cleanable.
She insisted on replacing it so it would probably make her feel bad if you refused her offer.

1 mom found this helpful

If she insisted, then let her....she obviously values your friendship a LOT and wants to do right by you and your family and probably feels utterly terrible!

I think if my kid soaked someone's mattress I would offer too. I also would offer to pay for a broken lamp or toy, especially if my child was rough housing when that something broke.

If I was the one with the broken lamp/toy or soaked mattress I would also tell my friends not to worry about replacing any of it...b/c IMO, that is the chance we take when we invite kids/friends over to spend time in our home...sometimes things happen, right? But if my friend insisted and I could tell it was important to her (on the mattress) I would allow her to do so and thank her repeatedly and ensure her that I would buy a mattress cover and explain that we couldn't wait for lil' Johnny to come spend the night again...and how much fun we had and all that good stuff!

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This is not your classic etiquette question...

I had a sleepover once in our RV and the girl soaked the mattress. And the parents insisted on having it cleaned. And...looking back on it...I just went along as it seemed as it was important to them. I was just going to hose it all off and let it air dry in the hot Texas sun.

This is one of those delicate situations where they are probably embarrassed that their child still did this at this age in someone else's home. It's sort of like airing dirty laundry. And they might feel bad that they did not send a pull-up for the night to avoid any possible accidents.

Have you told them it's not necessary to replace the mattress?

We also have a ton of sleepovers and I always quietly ask the mother on the sly if their child still has accidents. Some mom's are very honest and say yes, I'm sending a pull up and the kid will need privacy putting in on and taking it off in the morning. Some parents think their kids are totally potty trained at night, but put them somewhere else, and the kid's might be afraid of a new place in the dark. So with those kids, I always have a review at bedtime of where the bathroom is, how to get to it from my kids room and I still put pee pads down. I saved all the crib ones. It's just part of making up the bed for little guests.

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I would be okay with taking the person's money to replace the item if they initiate it. I would generally say that having kids at your house is a risk that you should be prepared for, thus why you must have usually had the mattress cover in place. If a child purposefully broke something just to see what would happen I would ask the parent to replace it. The things in my house that I am concerned about get put away before any other kids come over.

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you're not seriously going to buy a new one are you? urine is sanitary for one and two you cover it anyway with those pads anyway. if anything she can buy you one of those plastic non crinkling bed bags that you zip around a mattress making them waterproof and keeping the "bad stuff" in the mattress in it. would you be buying a new mattress if your own child had peed in it?

I would most definitely offer to replace the mattress. Of course if your kids break something in someone's home you are responsible for it. and I would always offer to replace it. Hoping that is won't break the bank. ;) If a mom offered to replace something at my home, I probably would not take the money because it was in my house and I feel like it is my responsibility to make sure the kids go to the bathroom and that I have a waterproof mattress pad on the bed, etc.

not typical to replace toys..unless it something your child did wrong to break it...but i it breaks in typical playing then that seems extreme...the new mattress if they have the money and want to so they won't feel bad and awkward let them...but yea I woun't say it was necessary

If she's insisting, she's doing it more for herself than for you so I would let her do it and not let it affect your friendship. She feels that she's doing the right thing, and in this case there's really no right or wrong. I personally would have used my steam cleaning furniture cleaner and called it a day, but in the absence of that if a friend offered to replace a pee-soaked mattress and insisted over my protestations I would back down.

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