If/when Is Daycare Beneficial to Children?

Kids that age don't really play together. My opinion on daycare is that kids shouldn't have to go if there is a parent at home. They should get to be babies as long as possible. When I was a kid there wasn't playdates and everyone felt sorry for the kids that had to go to daycare and not stay home. You played with other kids when you got old enough to decide you wanted to go to the neighbors and play. It is up to the parents to teach them the things they need to know before they get into school. There arent very many parents that "raise" their own kids anymore, they rely on daycare workers.

If day care isn't a necessity, I would forgo it. The cost plus the added cost of dr.s visits due to sickness both for him and you would really out way the benefits in my opinion. You would also have to deal with un-training all the things he picks up from other kids that you don't want him to repeat. You are all he needs to develop a totally social personality. I have 4 teens...all very socially active and interactive with folks of all ages and they've never been to day care or school as we homeschool them.

After having worked in a daycare for 7 years I would Never put my kids in daycare unless it was the last choice. The day care was safe and clean but kids pick up Really bad habits, biting, hitting, pushing, pintching, being rude. You get the picure. Plus no matter how caring and wonderful a daycare teacher is they can never give your child the care and attention that you can give them, even on your most distracted day!
Before age 2 most kids are still doing parallel play which means that they play beside other kids not with them! I think that your son is probably normal!

My girl (15 months) started at daycare when she was 9 weeks old (DH and I both work full-time). It was hard, but I have seen so much benefit to her being in daycare. I just wish that I was able to do part-time rather that full-time because it makes me sad that she spends more time with her "teachers" than with me! But, she loves to do arts and crafts, she minds very well (clean up toys, sit down to play alone, feeds herself, etc), and she really seems to like her teachers (gives them all hugs when I drop her off and pick her up). We have a good evening schedule to get home, have dinner on the table, play time, pajama & story time, and bedtime by 8pm and I think that's in part due to her "busy" day at daycare. My girl is good at sharing toys, she doesn't hit or bite, and she does actually sit down and play "with" the other kids. That may be partly due to the socialization at daycare, or it might just be her personality--I don't know. I say you give it a try for a few weeks and see how your boy reacts. You have to go at least 2-3 weeks, though, to really see a difference. Also, how does your boy do when you have to leave him with a sitter? Does he get anxious when you leave? If so, having him in daycare for a few hours/days per week should help him feel more secure in knowing that "mom always comes back for me."
Good luck!

I would say that daycare is never beneficial to kids, especially if you don't need to send them. Children that attend daycare have a higher likelyhood of illness. Children do not learn social interaction from other children, but rather from adults. Being timid is likely his personality. None of my children attended daycare, but we did story hour and had play dates with friends. When they started preschool one was shy, the other jumped right in. I also have a 21 month old at home and we rarely attend story hours, etc... because she has some health problems, but when we do she jumps right in no problem. I would suggest keep doing the story hour, maybe find some friends his age and have them over for regular play dates.

I stay at home with my son. I think that timid/shy behavior is very likely both things- personality and lack of socializing. That is how my son seems. I would say my son sounds like yours. Not really shy so much, but just hangs back and observes, and mine does get a little freaked out by agressive kids. But he is super friendly and outgoing in public with adults. Do you do playgroups or anything with him besides the library? I joined a moms club and we do playgroups a few times a month with other kids his age at different mom's houses where they just play together, but don't have to participate in a storytime environment. This seemed to help, but by nature I just think he was more timid. I do think daycare would help this, but then you have some cons too. I knew at daycare he would be more likely to get sick, and learn habits I didn't want him to (not that he doesn't from me sometimes, but at least I can only blame myself this way- lol.) I decided not to do any daycare for the time being, mostly because I couldn't justify the expense when money is tight. I probably would really enjoy a mom's day out program of some kind. But I plan to put mine in some type of preschool eventually. I think he will need to learn the structure of school and getting along with other kids in that environment.

And also, right before my son's second birthday, he just all of a sudden started opening up and being friendly and social, and not being shy or scared around other kids like he used to be. I don't know if he just got over the timidness or what. He is still the same kid overall and I know which situations are going to make him nervous, but in general he is much more outgoing. I don't really think I did anything in particular to make him start being this way, I think he just matured a little and came of his shell. Your son might very well do the same thing, with or without daycare.

I have always sent my children to day care part time from infancy (sometimes 0-5 days a week depending on my schedule), and as long as it's a well run facility, I have never seen bad habits develop (if there are problem children, they will remove them). At this age, there are no pluses or minuses (it might be good for you to also see the development of other kids his age to make sure his motor and language skills are on track), so unless it is a good enough monetary benefit for you, there is not a big necessity.

We had planned for me to stay home when our daughter (now 13 months) was born but it didn't work out and I went back to work part-time (4 hours a day). We have her in an in-home care with 4 other children ranging from 9 months to 4 years. She LOVES it! Every morning when I say its to to go to "____"'s house she gets all excited and starts clapping and hopping around. I always feel for moms who have to put their little ones in daycare 40+ hours a week- that's a lot- but I think a few hours a day or week is definitely beneficial. One side benefit is that your son would get used to not being the center of attention and having to wait patiently when he wants or needs something should you ever decide to have another. You could always try it out and if it doesn't work for your family, go back to the way you have things now. Its worth a try at least!

My 3 1/2 year old daughter has been going to daycare since she was 5 months old and my 12 week old son has been going since 2 weeks ago. My daughter has really benefited from daycare over the years. She loves the learning and arts and crafts as well as the activities and parties they plan. I took 10 weeks off for maternity leave and had both of kids home with me and I ended up grumpy and frustrated and my daughter actually missed her friends, teacher, and structure of her daycare. I know I did not have enough time and patience in the day to take care of a newborn while teaching my daughter to read, putting together an art project and taking her to the book store for story hour (my daycare offers that). If you want to truly get work done I would use the help of daycare.

If having him in daycare will be of noticeable benefit for you then consider doing it. But it will be of little benefit for your son and does have the potential of causing some difficulties. At 19 months he is not ready for social development in groups. At that age toddlers play parallel to each other and don't usually interact in a comfortable manner. He is also at an age when separation anxiety can be an issue.

Being timid as you describe it can be indicative of his personality but it is also the result of his developmental stage. I recommend that you read up on child development and it's stages.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_toddler-milestone-socializati... is a description of social development.

At this age he can benefit from exposure to other toddlers but he still needs supervision and help in finding his way with them. Most daycare centers are not able to provide this sort of guided socialization. As R.m. suggested exposing him to other children in other ways, such as play groups in which you're present is more helpful. When you are with him, helping him to learn, he is able to maintain a better sense of security. When you put him in a group of babies, toddlers, children of different ages he's left for the most part to learn on his own. If this were a child development center with trained and staff specifically trained in child development I would be less concerned.

If I were you I would not put him in daycare if it was not necessary. My recommendation is based on professional learning and experience. I have studied child development and been involved with several daycare situations. Toddlers your son's age can do well in daycare. However, doing well involves extra understanding and skill on your part. All too often parents don't have a choice and I sympathize with them. We do what we have to do.

I think the natural time to give kids some socialization is about age three, for a minimum of a couple days a week... I would do more park activities with kids while the weather is nice at the park. He can pick up a ton of germs at his age when he does not really need to...Some kids are shy and they can get aggressive, bite if they are not ready for pre-school. Yes, it's important to socialize the lil ones, but it is a hard choice to make if you really don't have to at his age.....
I would look into the one at your hubby's work and see what kind of a feeling you get... to start with~ best of luck

Send him to daycare! You will be able to get more done and while it might take him a while to adapt (it is hard at first as it might take a month or more when you drop him off to stop crying) he will ultimately learn a lot. My son started going 2 half days when he was about 18 months because of my work schedule. There are times he has gone 3-5 half days a week if need be (we go to Kindercare and they have been great on flexibility for us). He is now pushing 3 and we have been really pleased with how much he learns at daycare and that he can be around other kids, even if it is only 10 hours a week it is really good for him (and me).

I see you've received many responses already but I'll add my 2 cents anyway. ;-) I didn't read any of the responses below but I think a day care environment is great for children. Mine have always gone. They learn how to interact and compromise with their peers, they learn how to share and they learn their abc's, 123's etc. I believe a day care environment helps children grow socially and become more independent. Since your son has been at home for the last 19 months, if you do take him to a day care don't be surprised if he gets sick more than usual at first, he'll be exposed to more germs. But I don't think that is all that bad either. It will help build his immunity and when he gets to elementary school he most likely won't get sick very often. My son is in 2nd grade, started going to a day care at 3 months old and has only missed 1 or 2 days of school last year (and none this year so far). I wouldn't be surprised if you find that you grow as a mother too taking your son to a day care a couple days week. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and you may find your bond with your son become stronger with a little time apart. I know it's a tough decision but I think you're on the right track that will allow your son to blossom even more. Good luck. Oh...and my kids LOVE going to the day care. My 2 year old goes now and sometimes it's hard to get him to come home.

My kids were home with me and we went to the park, story time at the library, etc. for social involvement. At your childs age, they don't really play with others anyway. They watch each other and play more beside them than with them. When my kids were old enough they were in swim lessons and gymnastics. That way, they learned instuction from someone else besides me before they started preschool and got great exercise and coordination skills. Personally, I wouldn't put them in daycare unless it was really necessary. Lots of germs and bad habits to pick up in those places unfortunately.

I am a SAHM but don't work , I have 3 kids aged 6,4 & 20 months. The middle chil started at preschool just after she turned 3 , settled really well and loves it. She started 2 mornings/week and now does 4/week. My eldest went into daycare aged 2 1/2 for 2 mornings/week as I was working at the time , he didn't settle and never seemed to like it. My youngest won't be going until she is older as I am at home and there is no need (although I do leave her in gym childcare). Personally I think by age 3 they need to be at preschool/daycare as they are socially ready and need something more , but I don't think there is a right or wrong age to put them in , parents have to do what they have to do , if they need to work then they have no choice. Try and think into the future a little , at the moment you don't need to have him in daycare , but what about in a few months when he is a little more adventerous and you are trying to work?

It certainly won't do any harm to put his name down and maybe let him go in for a morning to see how it get's on.

I'm a stay-at-home mom with a 7 year old and a 4 year old. They didn't go to daycare and they are socially fine. As a matter of fact, my 4-year old is the social butterfuly in every circumstance she's in, so I don't believe that kids need to be exposed to daycare to be socialized. If you want more alone time to work, then just do it. Socializing your child should not be the reason for taking him to daycare because it won't make a difference. I'm sure he'll be fine as long as he knows you love him and feels secure. He may be more exposed to illness being in daycare and that's the one downside, but other than that, I'm sure he'll enjoy the playtime. Good luck.

Whether a child care program would be beneficial really depends on your child's personality. At 19 months, many kids are ready for some time spent with peers. Some kids do better in a "Mommy and Me" situation than a child care situation without their parents. The best thing is to go and check it to see how he reacts and interacts. It may be a great thing for him, or it may be better to wait and try again when he is two.

Some of the behavior you are seeing, the observing rather than interacting, could be related to his developmental stage as well as his personality. All children develop in their own way and in their own time. The "observer play" you described is fairly common for children his age.

The down side is that even in the best, cleanest, child care situation, your son will be exposed to new illnesses and will get sick a lot at first. The good news is that studies are showing that this early exposure builds a strong immune system in the long run. It's just something to mentally prepare yourself for.

Go check it out, see what you think. When you see him in the environment, you'll have a better idea if now is the right time. The other thing is that if you enroll him and after a few weeks it isn't working out, you can take him out and try again later. Good luck with your decision.

For the last several years, I've been a full time preschool teacher. I do believe that childcare can be good for many children, especailly those that dont have siblings at home, and are home all the time with just mommy or daddy. Yet, my experience is also with children 2 and a half and older. In a childcare setting, he may step out of his comfort zone. Good luck with this decision!

There is a difference between daycare and preschool. You are in a great position since you have the option of having your child at home with you are are not dependent on daycare.
I believe that starting at around 2 years (give or take a few months) children benefit from being exposed to a structured play group setting for a few hours a day (4-5 hours). Before the age of two, most children will not REALLY interact with peers and mostly "parallel play" while learning to share and taking turns.
If you choose a daycare, preschool (usually starts at age 3) or even a playgroup for your child is up to you... find something that you feel comfortable with and educates children in a philosophy that you agree with (not all centers are created equal).
We do not have an option, my daughter (28 mo) has to be in daycare, because I work. She started at 8 months, but only really started benefiting from it in a positive manner about 6 months ago - I could really see the turning point!
I hopefully will have an option to stay at home with her next year and intend on keeping her in preschool 15-20 hours a week - she really likes going now!
Good luck!

i myself am a very shy, socially uncomfortable person, and i have a three year old who is pretty much the same. i was PAINFULLY shy all through childhood. as an adult i have gained confidence and can deal with most situations, if not exactly smoothly all the time (haha!), but i remember being small and being terrified of people. my son is showing some of the same ackward tendancies. i have felt his whole life that the sooner/more he is exposed to other children and learns to make friends and interact, the better for him. in our case, it is very much genetic (we are just not people people!) but i am hoping to help him as much as i can by giving him social interactions at a young age. i went to preschool, but when i got into school i went through a series of sitters that didn't work out, finally ending up being watched by my grandmother. i think the more stable your child's situation is, the more confidant they will be. but if they have a tendancy towards shyness that will take work to overcome. the worse it is, the more work it will take. i have had my son in an in-home daycare since he was an infant, and in a month we start "real" preschool, as well as a tumbling class. i am nervous but i really feel it is the best thing for my son to be "out" with people instead of home with me. good luck. just don't blow it off - shyness can be extremely frightening for the child experiencing it. treat him with love and respect his feelings, and i'm sure he'll be fine.

I think day care is very beneficial to children. My daughter went for the time she was 8 weeks till she was 4.5. The things she learned there have been very very helpful all through her life. She was use to the school atmosphere so going to school was not a issue. Plus at day care (if you get a good one) will teach your children as if they are in the pre-k programs at the schools. However you need to make sure it is a well ran facility. The very 1st one I sent my daughter was ran terrible and she only went less then a month. Then we sent her to an in home day care & her teacher was wonderful. The picking up bad habits was never an issue for my daughter she knew our rules and obeyed them even at day care.
My son has always been at home with me but this summer when he hits three he will be going to day care. I think he needs the school like environment and to be weened from me before he goes to school. Plus he could use some education. With me he thinks it is a game so I am hoping in a large group of his peers he will pay better attention.

I own and operate a childcare center and have a suggestion for you. Since you are home and have the flexibility of picking him up daily I would suggest five mornings only so he can get the social and academic benefits of nursery school. If you do not need daycare then having him go two full days will only give him morning activities and then he probably will be required to nap there which can be really difficult for some children to adjust to. I am not sure what the daycare at your husbands center offers but most centers have full morning activities, with circle time, painting, free play, storytime, etc. The afternoons, are napping, and mostly free play. If you took him every morning and then picked him up at say twelve he would come home nap and then have each afternoon with you. This way you could get a large portion of your work done in the morning and while he naps. Most children really love interacting with their peers and sometimes in my experience two days takes them longer to adjust and feel a part of the program. Just a suggestion based on my experience. As far as him being timid, sometimes that is just personality. My daughter was a quiet observer but also was very social she just didn't jump into things right away. That wasn't always a bad thing she has always made great decisions in her life (she is 20) I think the best way to make your decision is to first check out the program and make sure it is what you want. Good luck in whatever you decide.