Which is your school district?
All I can tell you is through my experience as a teacher and as a parent of a reading disabled kid.
As a teacher: I have had kids of diverse abilities in regular ed classrooms. Sometimes you cannot tell the diff between the kid on an IEP and one who isn't. (Sometimes there are kids who aren't, and should be though!) An IEP does not necessarily have anything to do with inteligence. Sometimes it can. It is a guideline for how and when school lessons should be modified to meet the learning needs of a student from pre K through young adult. The student is still accountable for reaching designated and agreed upon levels of mastery, depending on IQ and some other circumstances. For example, one way to modify a math assignment would be to have an ADD/ADHD type of kid do every other math problem instead of all 20 in a given assignment. Can a teacher tell if the kid understood the lesson off of seeing 10 answere as opposed to 20? Usually yes. Another way to modify might be in breaking down the grading to give partial credit for some accuracy instead of giving all or nothing points. For a language processing /writing deficient kid, they may do more oral answers instead of writing out everything or reading long passages they get an audio version to hear. Teachers are in a transitional generation right now. It seems the young ones, (usually under age 40) are all much more versed in what is an IEP and how to adhere to and apply one in a regular ed classroom. The older ones, esp age 50 and up often are less experienced in this area unless they are in special ed already and or have gone back to school for the training.
LD / Special Education has changed a lot in the past 10-20 years. When did you go to high school? For a kid with normal inteligence and physical health, there is no reason for them to graduate late just because they are in a resource room or on an IEP. The goal these days is to mainstream them whenever possible and ASAP. There are even colleges that accept IEP kids and honor modifications.
My daughter is in 8th grade at Mariemont this year. She was diagnosed in 2nd grade. The school did the testing. I couldn't afford the outside fees, but I suspected she had issues b/c of her temperment and "delayed" academics. I knew she needed intervention of some sort. She is completely normal in IQ. In fact, her vocabulary is HIGH. SHe has incredible memorization skills as a compensation ability. She's smart, and a lot of people who don't know her can't tell a thing....until she reads. Reading is a bear for her, so we get a lot of books on tape-CD. We also still read aloud to her at times. She is quite bright and can comprehend more than an average regular ed kid...The ERB and Acheivement tests show this fact. She sometimes needed a scribe for dictating test answers and having directions read to her, but in junior high that is dramatically decreasing.
Is it that your daughter has more behavior than academic issues? If she is only 6, then she is quite young and has some time to blossom still. It could be just developmental and stil adjusting to all day school. Did anyone ever suspect something in day care or nursery school? I agree that the teacher(s) should not be rewarding her with gum, etc. Food and drink rewards could set up habits you don't want later on in life. If at all possible, she should have been made to re-join the rest of her class with a substitute. She's going to have to adjust to a new teacher at some point anyway.
If Emilie does need an intervention / IEP, please don't deny her the chance to be helped. An IEP can always be re-written and tweeked at any point in time. The intention of teachers is unless other people's safety is a concern, they try to integrate IEP kids with other kids whenever possible these days. It isn't as stigmatized as it used to be. Good luck...P.