Ideas on How to Get 15 Month Old to Sleep on Own

Hi there we went through the same thing and I found that books on cd/or tape worked really good. I just put a portable cd player on her night stand and play it softly. Worked like a charm! Good luck

This seems to reiterate some of the other postings. We have a 19 month old who does excellent both going to sleep and when waking up in the morning. He sometimes talks and plays by himself for up to an hour before falling asleep or before expressing an interest to get out of his crib in the morning. Our nanny says it is the easiest sleep process she has seen and we do fear it won't be like this for any second kid. Maybe some of what we did can be helpful or maybe it is more about the personality of our son than our parenting ideas. Take it for what it is worth.

Here are some things we did or do:

1. When he was an infant, we always put him to bed BEFORE he fell asleep. I don't advocate the book due to other serious issues but On Becoming Baby Wise did give us one excellent gem - the cycle of feed/wake/sleep cycle. To not feed/bottle your child to sleep and not waiting until they were asleep to lay them down. Putting them down when they are tired but in their awake/drowsy stage which helps them learn to sleep on their own. This may be a little off schedule for you now but it may be helpful for your next one.
2. Routine is very important as well, even more so as a toddler. Evening baths and books are great. Our son understands change and we help him with transition by saying we have two books left to read, now one book. We don't pretend bed time is not coming, we embrace it. We always touch the wind chime before we put him in the crib. He has a night light, a CD playing softly in the background, and now at his age, a few items/toys he can play with until he falls asleep or when he wakes up. We say good night, sleep tight. He says it back. We blow kisses as we leave the room and he watches us. We keep it light and positive because he will read our faces and emotions. It was hard for us to know he was about to cry but we did not want him to see that in our faces or sense it in our actions.
3. We never put him in the crib if we are not ending on a good note (book, sippy cup, playing cars, cuddle, etc.). I may be tired but I don't want him to associate the crib or bed time with a negative feeling. Sometimes when he is tired and we are reading, he even gets his blanket and tries to put it in the crib and asks us to lift him up and put him in. Quite amazing to us really.
4. We did not like or want to have him "cry it out" (thought I did before becoming a mommy but promptly changed my position once I could feel the crying in my soul) but also know that sometimes the crying is just their only language. It is my responsibility to love him but also teach him and guide him. To help us learn a little, we used a kitchen timer set to one minute or two minutes or 5 minutes to know how long it really was (i.e. two minutes) instead of how long it felt (i.e. eternity) that he cried. If we first set it for two minutes, the next time it was three, and then four. This took several days to get going and may have taken longer than a full "cry it out" session but easier on us, and likely on our son.
5. As a toddler today, most nights, about 10 seconds after we close the door, he does start to cry a little but it only last 30 seconds to maybe 2 minutes. It is not a full wail but if we listen and think, it is a soft routine type cry and is his way of saying to us he is not excited about this recent development. But then he amazingly starts to talk to himself, play, or goes to sleep. But that is his routine and he does it every night. We asked ourselves how would we feel if he did not cry each night when we put him to bed and closed the door. If he did not cry, would that mean he did not miss us, did not care that we left, was fine with being alone? That made us think about what his little bit of crying meant to us and it was ok. It made sense.
6. Most importantly, we listened and used our natural parental instincts (even my husband developed them). In the beginning as an infant (6-9 months), he might cry a few minutes. We did go in and console but did not usually take him out of the crib to do it. e did take him out if he was extremely upset, distraught, etc but that was less than 10 times in his little life. Then and now, if the crying is different than normal, (louder, deeper, longer, etc.) we do go in and console him. If he cries for more than about 4 minutes, it is not normal for him. Sometimes this cycle is 3, 4 or 5 times. But eventually he does settle into sleep. Most nights he sleeps through the night, in bed around 8:30 pm and out of bed at 8:00 am.
7. We got a used video monitor because it made it easier for US to be able to see him while he was crying because we could see he was OK and not hurt or something. Sometimes you can even see it is a test and now you know not to play into it. This was one of our best purchases. Find one on ebay used.
8. Ask your pediatrician and check out the American Academy of Pediatrics website at www.aap.org as well. If your pediatrican is not helpful, consider switching to one who is.

Sorry this ended up long...hope any of it is helpful. Good luck.

My girlfriend's little boy didn't sleep on his own until he was 2! She decided to write a book about how to get your child to sleep. The website is goodnightbooks.com It's a great book and you can also put your own child's pictures in the book! Good luck!

My son is 2 1/2 now, and is finally a better sleeper but it took us lots of work. I read the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers" by Elizabeth Pantley for ideas. It was really helpful because I know not all babies are alike, and I felt like I had a menu of options to try based on my son, and our situation. Hope this is helpful! Good luck

C.

Try and make something special about her room. I remember when we wanted our daughter to quit sleeping in our bed. We got her a new set of bunkbeds "big girl beds" and decorated her room up all girly. We couldn't believe it when she just went to bed without a peep and slept from then on. I wish we had done it sooner. Routine is really good. We do the same bedtime every night. Pajamas, brush teeth, story (in her bed) and then off to sleep. We also have a cd player with Strawberry Shortcake songs and a lamp for winter time when it's dark at bedtime. I think that music would help with the crying because she would be distracted. We also do foster care and run into this problem with kids that are in a new place and scared and don't want to go to bed. You just have to be firm and not cave to their cries because they won't stop doing it if it gets them results. You just have to remember that crying isn't hurting them.
Best of luck,
J.

The best thing I did in getting my 2 year old to sleep was to read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth and apply the principles in the book. THis book has been an absolute livesaver for us! It has given us not only a great understanding of infant and toddler sleep (and beyond those ages, too), it has given us tools to help establish healthy sleep in our kids. Just FYI, our now 2 1/2 year old has been sleeping on her own through the night (that's 11-12 hours of continuous sleep!) since 4 months of age. I cannot tell you what a difference that has made in our lives! We now have a 11 week old and are applying the same sleep principles with her. She is currently sleeping 8 hours between feedings at night (10pm to 6am).

Get the book and apply the principles - it could change your lives dramatically!

Good luck. Feel free to e-mail me directly with specific questions...

S.

I can suggest 2 books...the first is basics on an idea from beginning to end (may help with the new one). Second is by the same author. More in depth of how to implement and how to break bad habits. Worked for the habits we started my son on..but warns that it may take a little longer in older children, because they are more set in their way.

"Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (How to Calm, Connect and Communicate with your Baby)"-- by Tracy Hogg iwth Melinda Blau

and

"The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, (By Teaching You How To Ask the Right Questions)"-- by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau

I wish I had suggestions that didn't include crying... I tried laying down with my two year old to get her to sleep and then I just got up and went to my bed when she was asleep. I thought this was working well until I was in her room until 10:30/11:00 at night, then had to get the baby to sleep too. My husband made me just let them cry, both of them ( the baby was 10 months) and I sat on the couch crying too. Two days of maybe 20 minutes tops the first night and 10 minutes the second, and it's over! They both go to sleep on their own, some nights they whimper for a couple minutes, but not very often. Good Luck and be strong Momma!

my son is amlost 4 and i still have a hard time getting him to bed. i either play a lullaby classic cd very softly or a movie. when its done he sometimes doesnt fall right to sleep so i just lead him back to his room and say its time to shut your eyes and go to sleep. there nites where he comes out 4 to 6 times or more. just gotta lead him back to bed. its very stressfull.. keep your head up and keep trying. my daughter wasnt bad at all at nite. read a book 15 mins before bed and i would tell her after the book was done she had 15 mins to whatever. its been like that for bout 7 years now. shes much older now and it much easier. good luck hope that helped..

In my opinion you should keep the rocking and books. With the baby coming that can be your special time just with her and no baby. That actually really sounds like a nice routine you have going there.

B., I used the book "Goonight, Sleep Tight" by Kim West. You do not let your baby cry herself to sleep! It was wonderful. From 45 minutes rocking and up 3 times a night for anything up to four hours, our daughter is at last sleeping through the night. It took about three weeks to "work" and a lot of patience, but it really does work. Godd Luck.

Routine is very important to a child....especially as they grow. They need to know what to expect. While there will be time that a routine cannot be adhered to (you have an occassion that comes up and cannot be home at X time to put the child to bed, it should not be the norm).

I would suggest starting a routine. I have a 14 month old son, and we bathe, read books, rock a little, and then in the crib he goes -- and we don't look back.

Sometimes he cries, sometimes he doesn't. When he does cry, we leave him to cry. If a person keeps going in the room to console him, then the child learns the way around what he's supposed to be doing -- sleeping. I know it's painful to hear the cries -- but training him will be much easier on you and the whole family...it takes discipline.

One evening, I was 'sad' listening to my son cry at 7:30. I took him out of his crib and brought him in the bedroom with my husband and me. At 9:30, it was time for bed (he normally goes down around 7:30!) I put him back in his crib, and he cried and cried. My husband gently said, "Honey, 2 hours went by and we're still at the same place we were at 7:30!" He was totally right.

Good luck....it's hard, but being consistent is the key -- kids groove on that! :)

B.,

My son was nursed to sleep pretty much until he was 15 months. We had a regular night time routine which included reading, nursing and rocking. I too am pregnant with baby #2, so that is why we weaned him at 15 months (I was 20 weeks pg then). At that time, I started putting him down for naps awake, and letting him fuss a little bit before he fell asleep. I never let him really cry, just fuss around abit. If he cryed, I went in and rocked him. He actually started falling asleep really quickly for naps. We had dropped his morning nap so he was usually good and tired after lunch, and having a full tummy helped too I think. After about a week of falling asleep on his own for naps, we started putting him in his crib awake at bedtime.

At first I would always stand in by his crib (or sit in a rocker) and sing or rub his back until he fell asleep. Some nights I still have to stand in there with him until he falls asleep, other nights he is fine if I leave (no crying - just goes to sleep). He is now 17 months and I am due in 3. My goal is to have him so I can put him to bed and leave him before baby comes. We do still have the reading and rocking though, I think it is nice to still rock him a bit before bed. Some nights he still falls asleep while I rock him. I feel like it helps us bond a little, snuggle time will be gone too soon as he grows up, so I like to cherish these times when he is still small enough to enjoy and want it.

Also - when he wakes at night (which still happens once a night 3 out of 5 nights) I try to just lay him back down and leave the room with him awake. I tell him that Mommy is going back to bed, and to go back to sleep, and it usually works (sometimes I have to go back in 5 min. later and go through the routine again, and sometimes I have to rock him for a minute, but still try to put him back awake after rocking). Most of the time he just lays right down with his blanket and doesn't cry out or fuss again. I think that this helps too, as he is used to falling asleep on his own a lot of the time, so at night he rarely needs rocking or more attention than just a quick pat and a kiss.

Hope some of these ideas help. Good luck! I really believe that there is no need to let them really cry until they fall asleep. A little fussing is ok, but big tears is just to hard for me to take. And, in hindsight, it seems like rocking him to sleep until he is a year and half will probably seem like a short short amount of time when he is 12. :)

Jess

Personally I don't think a baby or child should ever be left to cry themselves to sleep!! My son is 18 months old and still has a hard time going to bed and staying asleep but he'll start doing it when he's ready, just like everything else he's learned to do. I think a good bedtime routine is very important and also a lot of patience.

Jenn

my daughter was a tough one to get to sleep. usually a warm bath with the lavender baby wash helps and then we turn on a radio ( low volume) in her room tuned to a jazz station. it lulls her to sleep.